A must read for all parents, even if your child is grown up. It provides advice on how to communicate with young babies, children and teenagers. I have a 7 years old son and have found this very useful. Wish I had read this sooner.

As with all parenting books this book has some good thoughts/ideas, it also had others I didn't agree with but that is to be expected. I will take some ideas to use with my offspring.

Philippa Perry's THE BOOK YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS HAD READ (AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE GLAD THAT YOU DID) is an enlightening and modern book on parenting. Less of a manual and more of a long chat with a friend who Has Been There, it's a very interesting read.

Having read several parenting books over the years, I've found - and this has been backed up with my own experiences as a parent - that when there are issues with kids then in many cases it boils down to a need for connection. Philippa Perry delves into this, among many other subjects, from the very beginnings of parenthood and even during pregnancy. Being that my child is almost a teenager, I did find that the pregnancy/toddlerhood chapters weren't quite so helpful to me personally, but they were still an interesting read and so much of what she said makes sense in hindsight.

This book doesn't necessarily say "if your child does this, then you must do this" or provide you with a step-by-step plan - because one size doesn't always fit all. What it DOES do is provide an encouraging voice in the background, almost soothing the reader as a parent so that the parent can then soothe the child in turn. I also really liked the fact that when Philippa Perry looks at examples of parenting gone slightly wrong (almost always with the best of intentions), she continually emphasises the fact that the reader must not punish themselves for mistakes they may have made in the past, and that it is never too late to turn things around. I even tried an example given in the book with my own child, and over the course of one weekend we were able to divert from something that would normally turn into an argument.

I would recommend this book to parents of kids up to the teen years (so any age, really) - but it would be especially beneficial if read from the baby years.

I should not have requested this book. I apologise. Generally I read fiction, but the subject matter of this book, and the sort of day I'd had, compelled me to request it. I started it, found myself vaguely thinking 'yes, I agree'... and then promptly stopped reading. The truth is I think I'm not made for self help books. Unless they say something I haven't already considered, I don't find them compelling. Sorry. For all that, the bits I read were lucid, intelligent, right-thinking. So it's not you, it's me!

As a parent of teenage children, I was not convinced that this book would have that much to offer me, but I found it a refreshing and spirited read. A familiar face on television, psychotherapist Philippa Perry has a totally engaging style, and this is an easy and informative book to read. Very child-centred, Perry examines how understanding your child can lead directly to a happier and more harmonious home life. Slightly heavy on therapy-talk, this is still a book which does not preach or 'teach' parenting, but encourages an examination of our own attitudes and expectations of family life.

** I gave this to my daughter (who has a 20 month old) to read as mine are all grown up now, this is her review**

I started out a bit sceptical reading this book as I'm a first time parent and everyone seems to have an opinion on what you should do with your child and how you should do it so I ws expecting this book to be the same. I was pleasantly surprised....it was insightful and gave different ways of looking at your child's behaviours and feelings which was really interesting. I found some parts a little out there for me but overall it was a good book, which I hope will come in useful as my little one gets older.

I feel so greatful for receiving this book. I'm a young parent but I'm so sure I'm going to re-read it every time I'll feel the need. A wise book full of analyse, exemples and facts. Also I really loved how the author was able to show her own life experiences about education and the life of a parent.

I started reading this book after I had a particularly bad fight with my foster daughter. I couldn't sleep and remembered that this was on my shelf to read. ​What grabbed me first was the title, because having had a turbulent relationship with my own parents on occasions, I thought it would be a good insight into where I was going wrong with my own children.

From the first few pages, I knew it was going to be a great book. Philippa presents ideas from her work as a psychotherapist in simple ways for you to understand and give examples to talk you through difficult steps like how to argue. Something that sounds so simple, that we may have been doing for most of our lives in some form or other. But how do we do it in a way that isn't damaging or upsetting the person we argue with? It wasn't just the advise that she gave me on how to be a parent. What was really eye opening was the fact that she showed me how I react to my daughters, in a way that I either reacted at their age or was treated at their age (a bit difficult since my daughters are teenagers and it wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager!)

Whilst I don't plan on having any children of my own, the parts about being pregnant/having a baby were a real insight into how my friends who have children must have felt/are feeling. It is definitely a book that I will be recommending they read so that they can get the best potential out of their relationships with their children. The connection between parent and child is so important and worth treasuring and nurturing. This book will definitely help everyone to do that and is one that I will be coming back to again and again in times of trouble within our family (though hopefully they won't be as frequent after reading this!!)

I am really glad I read this book. Thank you to Netgalley and publisher for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

A book with a long and intriguing title, but which does what it says on the cover. Looking at how our parenting styles are influenced by how we were treated as children, and offering a wealth of examples and advice on how to understand and empathise with your child; and crucially, how to repair when the relationship goes wrong.

Mine are now teenagers, so I'd probably extend the book title even further to 'and you'll wish this had been published 20 years ago', but it's still a book which I'll be dipping into to refresh my thoughts for years to come yet.

A refreshing change from the canon of parenting books that approach family life from the point of view of imposing your own will as a parent on your children. Clearly and intelligently written, with great sensitivity to how those of us who are now parents were once parented ourselves, its core message is that empathy is key, its great strength is the clear guidance offered in how to develop that empathy.

One I'll continue to refer to, not to mention buying for friends.

Everything we do as parents Is what makes our children who they are we is Phillipa Perry’s message in this long titled book that I will not attempt to keep re-writing.

Tune into your kids feelings - babies are a bundle of feelings and will grow to know things get better if their feelings are recognised and acknowledged and attented to. If there ever was a manual for raising kids, this is the one. Everything begins from day one, your child’s birth.
We live in a society where we’re expected to separate ourselves from our children more and more, the separate cot, the bedroom, the nursery, it’s all too easy to ignore our instinctual raw love for our kids which we must tune into to give them what they need. Not what we need.

But fret not, Phillipa reminds us, you can always start again and help your child re-learn. It’s a journey you are on together and there’s no shame in admitting your mistakes.

Apologising for our behaviour to our kids makes them recognise their own behaviour is another key message in the book and something we should bring into the house at regular intervals. Adults can be wrong and make mistakes too.

A psychology book at heart but written in total layman’s terms so everyone can easily take on and absorb the messages.

I have read psychology at degree level, had three of my own children and worked with children and this book still gave me the sharp reminder: Love is the answer and Anger fuels more anger.

A perfect antidote to today’s uncertain world and an ideal companion for new and current parents hoping to raise the next generation of caring, empathetic adults.

A useful and interesting guide to better understanding all the ways in which our parents messed us up (!) and, more importantly, provides some great insights into how we can avoid some of the same mistakes. Recommended for new or expecting parents.

Solid parenting guide from an excellent psychotherapist which should be required reading for all parents. Covers the emotional and psychological aspects of parenting.

This is an interesting book, reaffirming the iportance of therapeutic and positive parenting. It explores aspects of our own childhood and the relationships we have with people and how that can influence the way we parent our children. Full of handy hint tips and exercises it really reinforces the importance of listening and bonding.

This was a great investment in my time and a book that I found highly useful and informative. I’ve started using some of the techniques with my daughter and I’ve noticed huge improvements in our communication. This is a book that I will dip back into regularly and will use often.

An interesting viewpoint on parenting and one that takes some digesting and thought.
I found it complex in parts but it all ties together well and pits things in perspective

An insightful book on parenting, which I enjoyed.

I did however find some of the sections a little bit condescending. The author was keen to 'blame' things that had happened to the reader as a child for any bad parenting of their own children. Of course that's very subvective because not everyone responds to situations negatively.

I'm giving this 3* because all children are different and being emotive and communicative with some children simply wont work.

Thank you to NetGalley for the chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I haven't read a parenting book for a long time the last book I read was the contented baby (which I would 100% suggest you avoid!) so I wasn't expecting too much from this book.
This book followed a similar ethos to how I feel I already parent my children so I didn't really find anything groundbreaking. I skimmed a lot of the baby chapters as my children are pre-teen now. I did find the teenager sections helpful and we hopefully help me understand things from my children's perspective when I get there.

I requested this book as I was intrigued by its title. I have four children aged 8 and under, and I’m always thinking about how to be the best parent I can be.

This book is better suited to the first time parent and better read in the pregnancy. I found myself ploughing through what felt like a fair amount of information on pregnancy, birth plans and early bonding. Perhaps with a physical copy of the book I might have found it easier to get to the parts more relevant to me.

The book delivers an important message - mainly that children are people too in their own right and deserve to be treated as such. This is quite refreshing after a period of time of parenting books espousing routine and process above all else. This book is much more in line with my own parenting beliefs.

However, I did not read the entire book - or have not finished it yet in any case. I do feel it holds limited use for those of us already past the toddler years. The author spends time telling you all the important things you *should* have done when they were very small and then reassuring you that it wasn’t *that* essential and that you still have time to fix your relationship with your child! I hope that’s the case!

I’m really glad I read this book. Some excellent tips, some common sense, some I knew and many I was pleased to learn for the first time. It did honestly make me look at many aspects of parenting differently. From slowing down and listening to my children, validating their feelings... the case studies of other parents in the book were also useful.

This book shifts the blame, so to speak, from the behaviour to your feelings - something our parents were probably not aware of or had even considered. It makes you consider that you should look at your feelings to the situation and to be able to say what is troubling you, rather than put the blame elsewhere. It covers from babies through to teens which can then be carried through to adulthood.

It explains how what would be classed as 'naughty' behaviour is perhaps seen as an inconvenience to the receiver, plus how to set boundaries that are about you rather than the child crossing the line.

Its an interesting book through its explanation and case studies. I can see that it can be used many more situations such as adult adult or child child resolutions. Sometimes you do this without even realising it, turn it into an I not you conversation.

I received this book from netgalley in return for a honest review.