This book was a struggle to finish. I wanted to like this because we need more YA that deals with difficult , real-world, under-addressed topics like foster care and abuse; the book's depiction of the foster care system feels authentic and rings true, possibly from the author's own life experiences. Victoria and the other characters were just so.....bland. While the situations seemed real, the characters were flat and lifeless, and I just could not cope with the next-level serial bad decision-making going on. I was so frustrated with the character and also the lethargic pace that I almost DNF'd. This book had potential, but potential doesn't win stars. I also hated that it took 3/4's of the book for the character to have any type of insight or realization into her situation.

After her mother died, Victoria's father's behavior towards her changed. It became more touchy and strange. She had a feeling that it was strange and odd but she loved her dad and just accepted that. Then he married Tiffany, the behavior still occurred until one night her Dad comes into her room and takes things a bit too far and when caught by his wife Tiffany, he turns the blame on Victoria and kicks her out of the house and calls the police. Victoria's life in a flash is upturned and she finds herself moving to Reno and living in a foster care group home and having to start a new school. Her plan to graduate and study is also chucked upside down as now, of course, her Dad won't pay for her student loans, etc. Living in a foster home, Victoria finds herself having to abide by new rules and living under strict conditions and curfews which one broke even the slightest can land her in a jail cell overnight. What happens though when Victoria is asked about what her dad did and though he is throwing her under the bus, she feels the need still to protect him. That is until she manages to contact her stepsister Sarah and learns that now Victoria isn't home, he is putting the moves on which was the one thing Victoria always tried to avoid - getting Sarah involved. Can Victoria with the help of her new friends and foster mother Carla save Sarah from going through what Victoria did? Can Sarah and Victoria finally convince Tiffany to leave her Victoria's dad and help press charges? Besides having an amazing cover, The Quiet You Carry was an edgy YA book that covers the topics of Foster Care, Sexual Abuse and Suicide.

Victoria suddenly finds herself thrust into the foster care system after her father locks her out of the house in the middle of the night and tells the cops he’ll lock her in the closet if they don’t remove her from the premises immediately. She’s given a garbage bag to put her a week’s worth of clothes in and is told to leave anything valuable. At first the author leaves you wondering what’s going on. You’re just as confused as Victoria. Then, after getting a gloss over of what the first night in foster care can look like, you are slowly made privy to what has unfolded in Victoria’s life, starting with what her dad told the police, which is a total lie.

Despite being moved to a foster care home in a small town, Victoria is determined to get through school, get out of foster care and go to post-secondary. Her new friends turn out to be super supportive of her and kind. The staff at her school do their best to help her.

Her foster care experience isn’t anything horrible, so if that’s what you are looking for, keep moving. But it is realistic and sad, I think. This is probably due to the fact that the author has firsthand knowledge of being in the system. Victoria’s caseworker is overworked and has too many cases to give Victoria any sort of consistent attention. Her foster mother is strict due to bad past experiences and doesn’t treat them the same as she does her own child. The fellow foster siblings are all miserable and try their best to hide that they are foster kids from their friends at school, lest they identify them as different and shun them.

Over-all, the author really drives home the feeling of being in foster care and how it can colour a child’s perspective on life. If there is one thing that really stood out to me, it’s the feelings conveyed from this book. The confusion, the anger, the hopelessness and determination. It’s all there. You can feel them radiating off the characters, Victoria in particular as the main character.

While the content of this book may be a bit tough for some people, I find it to be a realistic and not overwhelming in comparison to other books I have read. This book is just a realistic but fictitious look at the life of an abused 17-year-old girl who winds up in foster care and her journey.

Potential Trigger Warnings: foster care, self-harm, sexual assault, family violence, mental illness, eating disorders, suicide attempt.

Age Rating: mature 13 and up

Nikki Barthelmess's The Quiet You Carry tells the story of Victoria Parker, who thought she had not the perfect life, but a good enough life. While her beloved mother had passed away, she still had her father. Even if her stepmother didn't like her so much, she had a stepsister who she loves dearly. Until one night she finds herself kicked out of her house with the cops on the doorstep. Rightfully, the state finds that the situation isn't safe for her and she's removed from the home and put into foster care in a state of confusion, while she tries to figure out just where things went wrong. I was provided an e-arc by Flux and North Star Editions via NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

This story is honestly a bit heartbreaking. There's a continuous undercurrent that something has happened and we wait as it builds up and up and up. Barthelmess is direct, so it's not a spoiler to say, there's a content warning for conversations regarding sexual assault.

Victoria isn't the easiest of characters, she's single item motivated - go home asap. Going home clearly isn't an option, and it take a couple of highly persistent friends to break through her shell. However, Barthelmess captured the reality of the situation, Victoria is a victim. Not only has something major happened to her that she is actively repressing, she has also lost everything - her home, her school, her friends. The reality of foster care is that it's revictimizing such that it takes away all of the good in her life, not only the bad, and we experience that with Victoria through Barhelmess's writing. The Quiet You Carry captures wonderfully the problems Victoria faces, while still giving room for her to grow and learn and heal.

Kindly, Barthelmess provides Victoria with a strong support system all around, however, I think reading it, I was reminded that not everyone has all of these avenues of support. A lot of children in Victoria's situation face trouble from all angles.

Barthelmess's writing style seems a bit more aimed at younger teenagers, however, some of the content might be more appropriate for older teenagers. I think it depends on the kid reading.

Overall, I would recommend The Quiet You Carry. It's a great book, very moving and I look forward to see what else comes from Nikki Barthelmess.

I received a copy of this book for a fair and honest review. This book starts out kind of dark and made me a bit emotional. It makes the MC Victoria seem all the more real. Her father throws her out and she goes into the foster care system. She goes to a new school her senior year and dealing with new friends and life situations. She does not really want to talk about her past. This does shine some light on the foster care system and what those in it have to deal with.

This novel was a good story to tell. I think it can relate to many students and also open the eyes of other student to people who are not like them. This book was good, but there were times when it felt like a slow moving movie. As long as you can get through those parts, it was a good read!

I received this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Quiet You Carry is one of those books that is so hard to review for me. I honestly didn’t even take any notes while reading it because I knew all I wanted to write about was how sad and messed up and horrible the whole situation was. I get why this book was written, it’s a story that needs to be heard and one that I’m sure too many people can relate too. But it was still very hard for me to read. I don’t’ think I’ve read a book yet that has made me feel the way this one did. It was a very well written book with some pretty good characters. It wasn’t all sad and down, there were a few parts that made me happy and that were redeeming. 

So we follow Victoria through her struggles of dealing with her father and getting thrown into the foster system. She knows nothing about the system and wants no part of it to begin with. For the longest, it was only her father and her until he got re-married. Victoria didn’t have a great relationship with her stepmom but she was pretty close to her stepsister. When she gets kicked out for something she didn’t do, not only does she have to deal with being in foster care, but she has to worry about her stepsister that was left back at home with her father. 

In the very beginning, she wants to go back home. She doesn’t understand why she is in a new place with a caretaker she doesn’t like when she could just go home. I love the friends she neds up making in her new school, and the girls she meets in her foster home. I liked Victoria. She grew so much from the beginning of the book to the end. I hated all the horrible things that he went through, but it did make her stronger. 

I am glad that someone wrote a book like this. Even though it was so hard to read, as I said earlier, I know that this will be good for people who have gone through similar situations. I feel like it is very rare to read stories like this. This year alone I have only read one other book that had to do with children in foster care and it broke my heart. I want to adopt, but I would also love to foster kids as well and I just can’t imagine what a lot of these children go through. 

I recommend this book, but do warn that there can be a lot of triggers in it as well. It’s not super graphic, or detailed, but it still can be disturbing at times.

This story was intense, harsh but real. I enjoyed the writing style and the characters, and overall I think it is am impostant story to tell. There aren’t many books about foster care and I think it’s a very interesting topic to touch. I understand why people would feel uncomfortable reading this book, but believe me, it’a worth it.
Trigger warning: abuse and sexual abuse.

This story was heartbreaking, but beautiful and so important to tell. I applaud the author for putting it out there.

The Quiet You Carry is such a thought-provoking, heart-wrenching, and worthwhile read. It really opened my eyes to the reality of foster care. Barthelmess did a fantastic job exploring each role in the foster care system, what the weak parts are, and how the system can help. She also handled so many difficult topics with such care and overall respect for the individuals who survived those traumas. Plus, all of the characters are so realistic and nuanced.

While a heavy read, this book is an important one and addresses topics not usually seen in YA. However, I would recommend taking a look at the content warnings before reading it, since there are potential triggers in the book.

*Disclaimer: I received this book for free from the publisher. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

"The Quiet you carry" was not quiet at all.
It was emotionally loud, unbelievable hard to read and proves how strong young people in American foster care have to be. It made me want to tear the pages out or scream at someone, for how unfair the burdens are, that some children have to carry!

The characters were so real and so strong, I fell in love with all of them. They were fun and honest and absolutely loyal, which we don't have very often in books. They also were reasonable and authentic and I loved how Victoria tried to care for her little stepsister, even from miles away. This book felt brutally honest, because of all the secrets Victoria had to hide, while the world was breaking apart around her.

I especially loved that this book is not only about Victoria or her family. The Quiet you Carry is about the whole Foster System and about all the horrors you people have to face. You could feel in every sentence, that the author knew what she was talking about!

But be warned. This book was really hard on me! It contains sexual abuse, self harm and anxiety and has many triggers! Please only read it when you feel save enough to do so!

Due to my very low rating, no review will be posted to goodreads, amazon, or my youtube channel.
Thank you to the publisher for an e-arc copy in exchange for an honest review.

Thankyou to NetGalley, the publishers and the author, Nikki Barthelmess, for the opportunity to read a digital copy of The Quiet You Carry in exchange for an honest and unbiased opinion.
What a hauntingly beautiful and thought provoking storyline. I was enthralled.
Worth a read.

I think that it's very important to talk about something like this-even if it makes us uncomfortable. Sadly abuse is a REAL thing and we barely hear about it in YA lit. If we do it's mainly framed in a distasteful way that borderline romanticizes it. This book, however, does not do that. Although the book is short I was fully invested in Victoria's story. I don't want to spoil anything but this is definitely a 4 star read! It's hard to get through because of the heavy subject matter but that is less of the author's fault and more of when I said these topics are uncomfortable.

From the acknowledgments, the reader soon learns that the author herself, much like her character Victoria, was put into Foster Care in Nevada (although unlike her character she was much younger, at 12 yrs. old). I think this is why she’s capable of giving one of the best and authentic novelizations about how the foster care system works and how the kids who end up in them are treated by their foster parents and social workers. Unlike other books that I’ve read about foster care, the protagonist Victoria doesn’t end up in it due to an unexpected death, but rather because her own father delivers a lie about her to cover up a very scary truth about himself and what he did to his daughter. Some of you may imagine what that ugly truth could possibly be, but I’d rather keep this review spoiler free, besides, Victoria doesn’t fully reveal all the details of that fateful night till almost halfway through the novel.

Victoria’s journey was very heartbreaking, but I loved how the friendships in this novel were top-notch. I’m kind of over novels or films always depicting female friendships as being petty and mean, and I love how Christina was so full of love for Victoria and stuck by her through thick and thin. Even her boyfriend, Kale, was a gem, who truly loved her despite the odds being against them. What I loved about this book is that all the characters were layered so even people you may have perceived as awful when you first encountered them, turned out to be better people, and those that seemed okay at first were revealed to not be so. Again, this book isn’t for the faint of heart because of the subject matter that is very trigger-worthy so tread lightly if you’re someone who’s easily triggered by the following topics: sexual assault, abuse, suicide, and self-harm, as those, are only a few things that are mentioned and played out throughout the novel.

But despite the dark winding tunnel that we find ourselves in with Victoria, there’s some light at the end. And that light, that hope, is what makes this novel absolutely stunning.

Hard book to read due to sensitive issues. I wasn't aware the book was about sexual abuse and probably wouldn't have requested it had I known. Overall it was a good book if you're not triggered by the issues in this book.

I do not read a lot of contemporary YA books, because a lot of them (for me) come off as generic. One of my pet peeves is the representation of teenagers. I am glad however that I read this one. This is the kind of book that will make me pick up more contemporary novels. I am a mom of teens myself, and I can say that the way they are portrayed in this book, and the experiences they have, are pretty accurate. They have their own set of struggles, and I think Barthelmess capture that perfectly.

I loved her beautiful writing style, the way it entranced me, and flowed so seamlessly. With all that being said, this book is going to make you feel some very strong emotions, some you may understand, and some you may not.

I love that a book is finally shedding light on our broken foster home system. It's not a topic broached much in YA, and I applaud Barthelmess for tackling that subject, and the subject of abuse with so much tact. Well done!

This book is an intense read and I found the characters likeable. I struggled at times to get into it but overall it was a good book that tackles hard subjects in a good manner.

"...none of us can understand what’s going on in another person’s life from the outside looking in. No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them."
Wow! Wow! Wow! This was a super powerful story about a teenage girl with a troubled past and her experience in a foster home. The time that Victoria spent in Spring Valley living in a foster home with Connie her "AKA foster mother", was some of the worst and later... best times in Victoria's life.
There, she felt alone, betrayed, scared, and confused. First, her beloved mother dies of cancer. As a promise to her mother, she vowed to take care of her father. But, how could her father do this to her?
Now...he marries Tiffany and she has a younger step sister Sarah. So, why doesn't anyone believe her? Why didn't anyone stick up for her? The night that changed her life forever is the opening scene of the story. I felt Victoria's grief as she stood outside on a winter night only in her pajamas. Thrown to the curb. Literally! What will her life become?
I started this book one evening and flew through the fist half. The next evening I finished the second half in the wee hours of the morning. Nikki Barthelmess did a fantastic job of making me feel part of this story. I was invested in Victoria's life and the choices she made... so much so, that at times I had to put the book down to catch my breath.
It's heartsteakingly painful to know that children are shuffled around, mistreated, and uncared for all the time. It's a cruel world sometimes. Reading about the hardships of children in foster care is difficult. When it's a happier ending, it makes it slightly easier to digest. It's obvious that Nikki brings a level of experience to her writing in this subject and imbedded in this story is Victoria's story. A genuine, real, more-common-than-people-think kind of story! Grab your tissues.

The Quiet You Carry was another nice gem from Netgalley. This author is a new one for me and her writing did not disappoint. This story is one that needs to be told, especially in a world where the majority don’t even know that things like these happen in real life.

On the surface, Victoria appeared to be a normal high school teenager. A little shy, a good student, a good daughter. She lost her mother to cancer and for a short while, it was just her and her dad. Then her dad remarried and she got a stepmom and a stepsister whom she got along with just fine.

But a still lake can hide countless horrors. Victoria learns that the hard way when she’s thrown out of her own home and dumped into foster care. She’s forced into situations where she realizes just how little control children have over their own lives, and how much adults can rule them. It’s a hard lesson to learn, when the adults who are supposed to care for you and protect you are the ones who make your life a living hell.

It was heartbreaking to watch her make sense of her upturned world, to face the truth of her life, to face the truth behind the lies and facade of normalcy. The author did a great job showing the confusion Victoria felt, the fear of being thrown among strangers, the fear of the lack of control over her life, the pain of facing the truth and the strength it took to do something about it.

The Quiet You Carry is a book that deals with domestic abuse so insidious you’re not even aware of it until too late, trauma, foster care, the callousness and carelessness that some adults apply in cases of abuse instead of giving those kids the caring and empathy they need to heal.

There are times when the dreaded reading slump snares you and you come across books that don’t hold your interest and you feel “Why do I even like reading?” Then you come across a book like The Quiet You Carry and you think to yourself, “This. This is why I love reading.” Because stories like these need to be felt and to spread awareness among people.