Nikki Barthelmess writes a heart-wrenching fictional novel about the foster care system in the United States as seen through the experiences of Victoria Parker, a 17 year old senior in high school. (I want to alert sensitive readers that this book contains sexual abuse, domestic violence, self-harming actions and a suicide attempt.)

Victoria is placed into the system after her father, a lawyer, locked her out of the house at 3 AM one cold December morning, refusing to let her back in. Found soon after by a policeman, Victoria keeps insisting that it's all a misunderstanding with her dad and she just wants to go home. DCS is called, and she is taken away for the night.

Stunned to learn that her father doesn't want her back, and is unwilling to go to the parenting classes and submit to home and school visits that would let that happen, Victoria is placed in a foster home in another town and prohibited from contacting any members of her family. Unable to speak about what really went on in her home and unwilling to let others get too close to her, she finds adjustment to her new life difficult. To her credit, she continues to prepare herself for college, knowing that's the best way for her to have a successful future. Though supported by her school staff and some compassionate fellow students, she struggles with the truth she has buried deep inside her. When a girl in her foster home takes a shocking action to escape her life, everything boils to the surface and Victoria decides she can remain silent no longer.

The Quiet You Carry is a powerful, well-written book that deserves to be read. This book proves once again that we never know what others are going through, and we all must take more responsibility to be alert and aware of the hardships that others may be dealing with.

I am grateful to NetGalley and North Star Editions Flux for allowing me to read an e-ARC of this good read in exchange for an unbiased review. My opinions are my own.

Sometime you read a description for a book and you know going in your heart will be broken. You can just tell the main characters life is going to crush you. The Quiet You Carry was one of those books. The blurb alone almost had me in tears and from the get-go I knew I was in for an emotional roller coaster.

The Quiet You Carry is about Victoria, a 17 year old girl that finds herself kicked out of her house at 3am when her father’s weird behavior hits a head. Having nowhere to go she is placed in a foster home causing her life to plans to crumble around her. Suddenly she is in a new school, living with new people, and has rules she doesn’t understand all while trying to hide a secret she knows will change everything.

My heart truly ached for Victoria and her story. At 17 she lost everything. She lost the father that was supposed to protect her, the home that she had always known, her friends and school, and her plans for the future. I can’t imagine going through that at any age never mind 17. And not only dealing with all of that she also had to deal with the trust her father broke and the secret she was holding for him. Truly she broke my heart and I shed quite a few tears. What I loved most about The Quiet You Carry was seeing Victoria learn to trust again which wasn’t easy for her after what she had been through. Slowly seeing her let people in was the highlight for me.

Nikki Barthlemess reached all of my expectations with her debut book. She hit all the marks I expected from the blurb and I walked away from it feeling hopeful for Victoria and the life she wanted to live. I highly recommend you checking this gem out. Just make sure you have a few tissues handy…you know, just in case.

Victoria Parker was sent to foster care because her dad accused her of something. And she doesn't want to tell her side of the story. Since he refuses to let her back in the house, she has to leave with Connie. And she hates Connie. t also means that she has to live in a new town, meet new people, go to a new school... And it all sucks.

I felt for Victoria but I felt like she wasn't all that layered and very immature for her age. It bothered me while I was reading. And yes, I am old and aware of that but I know people of her age and most of them are a lot more mature that she was. I just couldn't connect with her and it made me feel shitty. I felt like she was taking all the wrong decisions and it was basically hard being in her head. Still, this book talks about important issues, but it felt like it was on the surface and I honestly don't know what else to say...

This is the story of Victoria, who was kicked out of her house in the middle of the night and sent to foster care at the age of 17. What a heartbreaking, yet uplifting story. I'm so glad I got to read this book! I couldn't put it down, and I read it in one day! It brought me back to high school, and let me have an inside look to how some kids feel.

Oh boy. Ok this was definitely a whirlwind of emotions for me. I don't think I've read a book about foster care in the past so I believe this is my first on this subject. The author has spoke in a Goodreads answer that while she has been in foster care this is not directly tied to her personal past. As in, it is within the realm of possibility from what she has seen and lived but not her actual experience. Does that make sense? Do I need more coffee before I write this? Probably. Either way I was glad that my first book dealing with this subject was written by an author who can write based on personal experience with how the system works with children, what foster homes can be like, etc.

First of all it was evident something was up with Victoria's father right from the beginning. We start the story as Victoria is being kicked out and follow her journey from sleeping on a emergency case workers office couch all the way to being placed in foster care. There are a lot of ups and downs but I enjoyed all the nitty-gritty realistic parts just as much as the happier times. There is a lot that goes on in this story that would spoil it so i'm going to try and keep this review clean by saying if you enjoy contemporary and are looking for a very insightful and heartfelt journey than look no further.

(Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)

TW: sexual assault, eating disorders, self harm and suicide attempt, domestic and sexual abuse, mental health issues related to anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol abuse

The beginning of The Quiet You Carry is intense, it just about broke my heart. We walk in on Victoria being taken from her house and while we don't exactly know why, the truth isn't far from what we might expect. But it's such an emotionally brutal scene where Victoria is metaphorically stripped away from everything - her family, her home, her lifelines. It's a difficult story, about loving people around us, the emotional (and physical) manipulation of abuse and having to come to terms with their actions. At the same time, its about the foster care system and trusting people again.

The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess is my first book by this author. Sadly this one was not what I thought it was going to be. The story line was just too depressing. I ended up DNFing this book 25% in.

This is a YA novel about a 17 year old girl removed from her home due to sexual abuse (although twist...the father accuses her). The events surrounding the incident are pretty horrific, but really this is a story of survival, moving forward, and finding support; although the abuse is a part of that, it is not the entire focus. I thought the depiction of the foster home, and especially the foster mother, Connie, was well done (a savior with a lot of warts). In fact, Connie was perhaps the most interesting character, as I found the others a little to flawless to be believable. I think this book would appeal to and be inspiring to teens who become a part of the foster care system or those struggling with family, but I wish it wasn't so neat and tidy...as life rarely is.

This was a book that was not easy to read. There were so many times that I wanted to yell and scream and cry. This was a story that can make you question who and what you really know. Intense, dark, and so many twists and turns page after page. What is the secret that was locked away from Victoria for all these years? Thank you NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to enjoy this book.

The Quiet you Carry is a little different from the YA books I normally read which generally tend to fall into one of two categories – fantasy or cute, romantic contemporary. But sometimes it’s good to branch out. I didn’t entirely know what to expect from this one other than the fact it would deal with some heavy subject matters and because of that, I went into it without making any assumptions. In the end, some things worked and other things didn’t.

Who, What, Where?
Nikki Barthelmess’ debut novel centres around seventeen-year-old Victoria. One night. Victoria’s father mysteriously throws her out of the house and as a result, she winds up in foster care. The events of that evening are a blur for Victoria. She believes that there must have been some kind of misunderstanding because if there’s one thing she’s sure of, it’s that her father’s account can’t possibly be true. To her frustration, she’s quickly denied all contact with her family, including her stepsister, Sarah, and moved to an entirely new town and school. With less than a year until graduation, Victoria is forced to adjust to her circumstances and rework her plans for the future. At the same time, she also has to come to terms with the events that led her there if she wants to protect Sarah.

Topics & Triggers
As I mentioned above, the plot of TQyC deals with quite a few difficult topics. Basically, break out those trigger warnings – sexual assault, paedophilia, suicide, eating disorders, children in foster care, and domestic violence. It was interesting to read about a character stuck in a foster care situation written by an author who, herself, grew up in the foster system. Because of this, Victoria’s experiences in the system and those of the kids living with her felt genuine and realistic but also gave me a lot of sympathy for children placed in similar or far worse situations.

Plot
Deciding where I stand on the plot is a little tricky. The book starts out fairly well, if a little confusingly, and does manage to hook you out of interest in finding out what happened the night Victoria was thrown out. After this, as it’s a character-focused story, the plot does meander a lot without much of an obvious point other than to simply showcase Victoria’s experiences and growth. There were certain sections of the book where I was really engaged, especially during some of the big emotional or dramatic moments which were well written and ended up hitting me harder than expected. Then again, there were also long sections, often involving Victoria’s internal monologue, during which I found myself getting bored and checking out, particularly around the middle.

Melodrama & Cheesiness
Something that frustrated me a lot as we got closer to the end, especially during the climax and ending itself, is that the writing quickly veered into being extremely melodramatic and even corny. The dialogue seemed sappy and the tone felt so over the top and manufactured that I even found myself rolling my eyes. I mean, there’s literally a moment of, “At least we have each other” and even an unnecessary and forced flashback section. As a reader, it’s hard to get starry-eyed when everything that’s happened is over a period of only about 3 months.

Characters
As a protagonist, most of the time Victoria is fairly likeable and sympathetic. She makes the best of a crappy situation and doesn’t give up. However, at times she can be snappy and her attempts to isolate herself against interactions at her new school for so long do become annoying. Still, considering what she’s been through, it’s understandable.

In terms of side characters, Victoria’s new friend Christina is enjoyably spunky, while her love interest Kale is adorably charming. I also appreciated the fact that Barthelmess developed Victoria’s foster mother, Connie, into a deeper and more complex character, even if it was a bit sudden. One character I really wasn’t on board with was Victoria’s father. Not because he’s awful (he is) but because he just never felt real to me – he’s just a really bizarre character – and this had a big impact on how I saw Victoria’s family history and experienced the overall story arc.
___________________________
The Quiet you Carry is an honest and raw read. Even with its weaknesses, I consider this a solid debut with a lot of room for Barthelmess to grow. If you enjoy emotionally complex YA stories which deal with harsh, real-world issues, this may be a good pick for you.

3 STARS

Huge thank you to North Star Editions and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to review this book!

I REALLY wish there had been some kind of trigger warnings attached to this book both on Goodreads and on NetGalley. There was no indication whatsoever that this book might contain such triggering content, the description was very vague.

The book was fairly well written, I can’t deny that, but I struggled through the entire thing because for about 70% of the book nothing really seemed to be happening. I was determined to finish it though because I hate leaving reviews for DNFs, but to be honest, if I had known what the book was truly about I probably wouldn’t have requested it in the first place.

Victoria just had to make it through her final year of high school, and then, she would be able to enjoy the freedom, that comes with attending college, but instead, she found herself thrust into the foster care system following an altercation with her father, which had left her watching her future slip out of reach.

I had no idea this was an own voices book, when I requested it, though, I am not surprised. There was quite a bit of insight shared and, shared in a way, I have yet to see in other books involving foster children. Barthelmess brought me into the process, rules, and frustrations surrounding foster care. She showed the upside and downside, and it always came across as honest and fair to me.

This book had a HUGE emotional impact on me. I so clearly felt Victoria's fear, shame, distress, and hopelessness surrounding her situation. I also got a good sense of her strength, determination, and hope, which she tried not to let ebb, as she attempted to rebuild her life and continue to pursue her dreams.

I won't lie and say this book was light, because it was not. The book dealt with many heavy issues, but it wasn't all grim. Seeing Victoria continue to fight for her future was probably one of the things I loved most, and it kept me very hopeful. Barthelmess also gave Victoria a small group of great and supportive friends, an extremely sweet romantic interest, and some really supportive educators to help her along the way.

But, what I loved most was the ending. This was the payoff for the pain and tears shed. There was lots of closure and hope for the future, but the author also let some characters redeem themselves. I don't know, it was important for me to know, that not everyone was the villain they appeared to be.

Overall: A story that was equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking, but also hopeful and a tribute to how much power honesty, kindness, and friendship hold.

Very heavy subject but told extremely well. Some parts were hard to read because i cared so !ugh about the character. I think that's the sign of a great book.

The quiet you carry is a deep and emotional story that will stay with you long after you read the last word. I love how the author wasn’t afraid to dig deep and cover multiple topics that happen every day to kids and teens when most writers will only cover one. This couldn’t have been an easy story to write because she wrote it in a way that made it feel so realistic. You get sucked into the world she created and it feels like you are watching everything through the characters eyes while also feeling all her emotions.
The quiet you carry is such a suitable title since that is exactly what happens in this story. Secrets and memories carried inside where no one can see them. I can’t say much more without giving away parts of the book but I will say it’s a great read and I’m excited to see what Nikki Barthelmess comes out with next.

Trigger warning: sexual abuse

This is an intense, emotional read. It gives a realistic, and heartbreaking, look into the foster care system.

The story is told from Victoria’s POV, which gives the reader more insight to the story, as well as allow them to witness the character development. The secondary characters are also well developed and well-utilized. It’s hard not to feel for the characters. The author handles some difficult topics in a sensitive manner. This is not an easy read, but it’s an important one.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy, but I wasn't required to leave a positive review.

This title was archived prior to my being able to sent to device for reading/reviewing. As such, I am unable to review this title at this time.

I really hate writing such a low review. I felt like this story just lacked so much with it's bland characters. And while it has heavy subject matter, it was barely touching the surface. I am not saying I wanted full blown content, it's just Victoria's narrative was very monotone and she had no personality. The most part of the book felt like a long boring diary entry. I wish I could better describe how I feel, but I basically kept going to see if it got better and it did not.

Victoria is a intelligent 17 year old high school student who just got a scholarship to her dream school, but one night changed all of it and now she is a orphan who has nothing left but one night that ruined her life, she doesn't want to come to terms what her father has done, she thinks, what did I do wrong, maybe I made it up.The Quiet You Carry is such a sorrowful but exceptional book that you won't be able to put it down, you feel nothing but empathy for Victoria and root for her to let everything out and let people who care in.

«The Quiet You Carry» partially inspired by Nikki Barthelmess own experience in the foster care, gives us a glimpse into the life of foster care kids.

Victoria Parker is a senior and only a few months away from turning 18. And just one moment changes her life forever. When her father locks her out of the house, Victoria is placed in the foster care system and ends up in a different town, different school and different home.

She comes from a household with many issues that began a long time ago. Her mother’s death wasn’t the trigger. I dare even say that the foundation for this unhealthy relationship was laid down by her mother.

This journey that the author took us on, the memories that Victoria had from before her mother’s death, and how it all slowly progressed, was interesting, but also chilling to read about.
I would have preferred if the story focused more on that part of the plot, instead of constantly deviating to the high-school theme.

It was nice to see Victoria as a good student and someone who cared about her future. But her relationships in high school didn’t add anything to the story. From day one, she became friends with Cristina, who basically forced this relationship by being constantly there. The same thing happened with Kale. Taylor and Lauren took on the spots of the “means girls” of the school, Alex and Zach were the “jocks”. All these characters had no depth to them and were created only to help Victoria.

In the very beginning of the story, we don’t know yet what actually happened to her. We suspect a few things, we are given a few hints here and there, but Victoria is afraid to admit, even to herself, the events of that fateful night.

This was a good tactic to intrigue the reader, to make them turn the pages faster. But when I got to the middle of the book and the pattern was still the same, it just stopped being intriguing, and started to be annoying. At that point, I had a very good idea of what happened and just wanted Victoria to tell everyone for the book to be over.

Written for a younger audience, this book has the possibility to capture its readers' attention, to show them the inner struggles of someone who’s been mentally and physically abused. It brings important topics for discussion.

However, I’m not sure if people are giving it higher ratings because of the serious topics, or because they genuinely liked the book.

It's so refreshing to see something so real and so raw that explains and portrays something not a lot of people know about. The system. Nikki Barthelmess did a great job with this story for that aspect alone. Its scary for kids who know nothing about what's coming for them in the system and they are already traumatized from losing their families and what they went through and then on top of that being thrown into the system. I admire this author for bringing it to light so perfectly and not being afraid to step out there for that. Five stars hands down.