Mary Laura Philpott’s memoir I Miss You When I Blink is a collection of essays that are honest, heartfelt, relatable and frequently laugh-out-loud funny. Sitting down with these stories is like sitting down with a friend who gets you.

Her writing feels authentic. Or maybe I just related too much to it as I too am a middle-class white woman who is a Type-A control freak, living comfortably and in the middle of an existential crisis myself. She talks about perfectionism, moving and transitions (and how plans rarely work as intended). There are essays on work and parenting (and finding a balance with both). She also talks about identity and the loss of it as we move through motherhood.

However, I think the main message will speak to many – that we all face our struggles in life, but that the unhappiness or pain we feel is valid, even if others are struggling more or in greater pain.

With smart, conversational prose, you will snort laugh, you may eye-roll, and you will think “I could have written this part”. She covers a lot of areas: feeling stuck, the need for approval, moving to a new country (and how expectations don’t always meet reality), getting sucked into volunteering and all the weirdness that goes with it.
In This is Not My Cat, she escapes to Nashville to housesit/catsit, and in the silence that she allows herself, she refinds herself. If you’ve ever felt so lost and been so overwhelmed that you wanted to run away, this reads like the mature, responsible way to do it. More satisfyingly, it seems to work for her.

Philpott has had a successful career and a seemingly comfortable life, and she does address her privilege. She manages to address all these feelings of wanting something different from her life while acknowledging the big guilt-inducing “BUT” in Ungrateful Bitch.

Whether its the struggle of finding friends or just holding on to a social life as we all move through the stages motherhood, to figuring out just who we are as women beyond the title of “Mom” – or whatever label we gave ourselves at 21 as a fresh-faced graduate – I Miss You When You Blink is a book that will make you feel not quite so alone in the place you are – be it in your head or in your life.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Smart, witty personal essays are some of my favorite reading. Philpott reminds us that being an adult, even one who seemingly has everything, is hard and periodically sucks. Sometimes we have to step back and assess ourselves; tweak a few things or make drastic changes. As someone who has moved a lot, I understand that urge (though, like Philpott, I currently reside in the Nashville area and quite like it). I enjoyed these stories, but feel like they scratch the surface. I’d read the hell out of a full-on memoir.

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read and review this collection!

Mary Laura cuts right down to the heart with these essays. My entire copy is now highlighted and noted all over. I guess this just goes to show how much one book can have an impact. I can't wait to go back to this book over the years and see what else I gain from it!

In her debut memoir - which references many authors that I love (hello Brene Brown and Dani Shapiro!) Mary Laura Philpott breathes new life and advice into the genre. From her quips to her self-awareness, this observational memoir has it all. Mary Laura is frank and truthful (to the point where I wonder if I would have the courage to say some of these things in print) but never to a fault. This will resonate with any human being, but probably especially young women. There is so much so much great advice, it's like sitting down with an older sister and chatting about life. Definitely pick this book up and give it a read! I ripped through the essays and absolutely could not put the book down.

I received an advanced copy of this book via NetGalley, this does not impact my review.

This collection of essays was super high on my to-be-read list. Two of my favorite books of 2018 could be described similarly (Heating & Cooling and Tell Me More). And on paper, this practically shouts YOU ARE THE TARGET AUDIENCE. I was born a year before the author and have checked all those boxes and, yes, can sometimes be type-A and a little anxious. Plus she works at Parnassus! It's blurbed by Ann Patchett! Although, while relatable in many ways, it didn't engage me like I hoped it would.
This is most likely boils down to a case of "it's not you, it's me" as I'm rather finicky about my nonfiction. If I'm going to read a memoir, I think it needs to be about someone already interesting I want to learn more about (Busy Philips), a fascinating subject I want to learn more about (any Bill Bryson book, Lab Girl) or really emotionally vulnerable, which I'd argue all of the examples I mentioned fit that bill. These essays, while revealing, felt like quick and fleeting anecdotes that were heavy on her personal philosophy and light on her life experiences. I mean, I feel as if I know Kelly Corrigan's entire network of friends and family and want to hug them all. I can't even remember Philpott's husband's name. Perhaps I should have taken the 'essays' in lieu of 'memoir' in the title to heart.
I got the impression that the main thrust of the book is that we all have our struggles and we are still valid in feeling our pain, even though it may seem less than others people's pain. This message seemed to repeat in a variety of humorous ways, especially her metaphors: from DVF dresses to buckets of crabs or chocolate chip cookies are utilized in unlikely ways. Though very true, I often thought that she was stating the obvious. I think that's why this collection will resonate for those looking for a laugh. Good humor usually employs empathy, the old "funny because it's true" and we all laugh because we can relate. Witty, for sure, but I didn't feel moved or enlightened. The description also states 'you don't have to set of on a transcontinental hike' to feel satisfied with your life. Yet, essentially, she does run away and has the privilege to do so. Philpott absolutely calls out her privilege, at least, dedicating an entire chapter to the subject. But I am not sure she gets the extent of it, if she doesn't consider being able to flee her life (even if it's for a short time because of a house sitting gig) an enormous privilege that ends up affording her great opportunities.
If you're a fan of humorously written essays about the everyday struggles of a white, middle aged mom balancing career and family, this would certainly fit the bill. I'd say it's a good read alike to Anna Quindlen's Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake. Definitely well written, just not to my taste.
Many thanks to Atria Books and NetGalley for the complimentary advance digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

Have you ever read a book and thought...HOW did this person see directly into my soul? Did I actually write this book and not even know it? Reading I Miss You When I Blink was that sort of experience.

Philpott is open about the struggles and triumphs she has experienced in her life. I appreciated that she maintained perspective about her privileged and blessed life situation while acknowledging that even in lives that look easy and lucky from the outside, there can still be challenges, crises, and emotional distress. "Even when we know how much worse it could be, everyday pains are still pains" She speaks clearly about how years of putting pressure on herself to be perfect, to achieve, and to chase success, led her to a place in her life where she had everything she thought she wanted but was horribly depressed and uncertain of anything, to the point where she considered leaving her loving family. While I have never experienced that level of breakdown, as a fellow Type A perfectionist, I understand all too well how the pressure can be crippling, and I appreciated her candid approach.

This makes it sound like a book about depression - while she does not hold anything back regarding her struggles, this book is deeply funny. I laughed out loud continuously as she irreverently covered her life with a husband, children, changing careers, and most especially the inner world of a Type A perfectionist - "It’s awfully existential and weird to feel that if you get the punctuation wrong in a tweet, the world is a purposeless void."

I think this book is a great read for everyone but especially: women in their 30s who are juggling family and career, and people who identify as Type A, enneagram 1, call it what you will - we're (in Mary Laura's words) "addicted to getting things right".

“I know already how much I miss things that happened in the past- how they’re right there behind my eyelids but also gone forever. “

This quote and so many others in @marylauraphilpott ‘s new memoir really spoke to me. As a mom to one son already in college and the next (and last) son heading there in the fall, I often wish I could go back in time, just for a day and revisit them when they were young children. Those moments are right there in my memory, but as Mary said...gone forever.
I don’t want to give the impression this was at all a sad book, in fact, it was just the opposite. I laughed at so many of Mary’s accurate observations and I related to just about everything in this book! I finally had to give up highlighting quotes on my kindle since there was so much I wanted to remember and will just wait until the book is released so I can buy my own copy:)
Written in a conversational style, this funny, insightful, and poignant memoir reads like an evening of wine and honest conversation with your closest friend! I loved it!

My opinion of the individual essays in this collection varied widely. I found some to be condescending, but others were very relatable to me. At times it seemed to me like Philpott was humble-bragging, but other times came across as very sincere. I enjoyed her writing style, for the most part, and I think she did a great job of writing short essays that each stand on their own but also come together nicely to make a cohesive memoir.

I loved this book and read it during one weekend (which is a feat with a 3 year old). Lots of Philpott’s ideas felt like they came right out of my own head. I really appreciated having the chance to read it early. I will be telling all my friends to pick it up. :)

Believe the hype on this one -- it's incredible. Well-written, relatable, insightful, and funny. A highly recommended read for women of all ages.

This book of essays by Mary Laura Philpott is humorous, heartfelt, and a little snarky (which I loved!). She covers different points of her life as an adult and I laughed out loud more than once reading this book (the banana pudding story/picture was my favorite). As a former type-A personality (motherhood has turned me into a type-B+) and a mother of young kids, I could relate to her on many levels and she comes across as someone I would want to know and be friends with in real life.

This was a fun collection of biographical essays. I always find writing by book lovers to be interesting because, well... books are awesome? There was a lot that made me laugh and that I could 100% relate to, like a deep inability to receive directions in the forms of "north, south", etc., or the disdain for couples who have shared e-mails (I mean really). Using an early Spelling Bee as a marker for her high achieving personality, she shares the lessons she's learned from growing up wanting to please, and the pros and cons of this. Her struggle through depression had an interesting perspective as she has an overall safe life, with a healthy family and good job. I think it's important to recognize that depression isn't always the result of something tragic happening and was grateful that she touched on that in her own life.

I think this book would appeal to women who mostly have their lives together and need someone to relate to. My only issue with it is that it had a little bit of the "type-A, ra-ra, go-get-'em" feeling that Girl Wash Your Face had, which made me DNF that book. Overall, a quick and fun read!

Thank-you to Atria Books and Netgalley for this free copy in exchange for an honest review!

There are some really strong essays here including the title, which I love. Children, insecurities, deprecating insights into the Author's world. A tribute to Nora Ephron was memorable as we're other literary references. I will definitely be on the lookout for more from Philpott.

Copy provided by the Publisher and NetGalley

While I tend to gravitate toward thrillers, gothic fiction, and mysteries, something about Mary Laura's Philpott's I Miss You When I Blink drew me in, and I have zero regrets. Maybe it was the striking cover with its tiny eyelashes. Maybe it was the intriguing title, the origin of which the author explains in one of the collected essays. Maybe it was the sense that these little bites of wisdom and wit were just what I needed. I tore through this book in less than 24 hours, sneaking pages during train rides and work lunches, but I wholly expect that I'll return to the text later to really savor the stories Philpott shares. Each essay strikes the perfect balance between personal tale and universal truth, a tough line to walk when sharing the nitty gritty details of your real life. While I would call many of the essays heartfelt, or thoughtful, Philpott skillfully avoids being sentimental or sappy. In a similar vein, the offering of genuine advice and experience never comes across as didactic; instead, the reader feels as if she is having coffee with a good friend. This is a collection of essays that is universally readable and relatable, no matter which stage of the life the reader is currently moving through.

I Miss You When I Blink spoke to a spiritual level within me. At times, it was like Mary was looking into my soul and saying “As a type-A person who likes control, I know you need to hear this.” And within the essay titled “A Letter to the Type a Person in Distress”, that is literally what she was doing. I felt seen by this book, I laughed during this book, and I gained permission I didn’t know I needed from this book.

Several essays are about Mary’s life with children, and while I do not have children, I still found the essays humorous and knew that if I did/do have children, this is likely exactly how I will be as a parent. I could have read twenty more essays by her, and I hope that in the future she publishes another set of essays, because I would definitely read it.