Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced reader copy of How to Make Friends with the Dark. It's a poignant young adult novel that rings true in the grief and loss of control our main character feels after the sudden death of her mother. As an adult reading Tiger's ordeal, I was infuriated at her experience with the foster system. Kudos to Kathleen Glasgow for getting readers to talk about the system and how to fix it for our children.

Beautifully written with so much heart. I could have read this book for much longer than it was. Really great!

I enjoyed this book plot wise, but the writing just didn't do anything for me. Tiger and her mother's dynamic really confused me too. I really wanted to love this book so badly, and I was sorely disappointed. This was my first Kathleen Glasgow novel, and I will give her other works a try, but this one just wasn't for me. I can see how other would enjoy it though.

This book was so good. It was so very heartbreaking but a wonderful story about falling apart and then learning to pick up the pieces one by one.

Happy Friday,

I literally just finished reading How to Make Friends With the Dark today and I loved it so much. I can literally not even describe how much I love it and how much certain parts meant everything to me. Recently, I have had some major things happen in my life and some major changes and I feel like in a way this book has helped me so much to have a place to go during these changes that is sympathetic and gets some of what I am experiencing.

SPOILERS AHEAD

This is a book about grieving and everyone grieves in different ways. In this book Tiger, a girl in high school suddenly loses her mother and when the last thing she said to her mother is something awful Tiger is absolutely lost. Growing up it has always just been Tiger and her mother so she is suddenly thrust into foster care and the taken from everything she knows. During her time in the system, she goes to two drastically different homes before learning she has some blood relatives that can take care of her. Which brings about all new fears for Tiger because Tiger has never even known her father’s name or any other family so the idea of meeting family and then having to live with them is a bit overwhelming. Tiger not only learns about these blood relatives but she learns that this mystery person is a half-sister who is coming from Hawaii to take care of her. She also learns who her father is and where he is. With all these changes Tiger is still grieving and still lost. She is wearing the dress her and her mother fought about the last time they spoke constantly and struggling to deal with this new life. However, everything comes to a breaking point for Tiger when she starts to make some life choices that her mother would not be okay with.

I absolutely loved this book. Like I said earlier I felt like it was the perfect safe and sympathetic place I needed right now with all the things I am experiencing. I fully intend to read this book again and I gave it five stars on Goodreads.

It has always been Tiger and her mother against the world. They have always been the constant in each other’s lives.Tiger has never met her Father and is ok with that. Tigers mom passes away suddenly and without warning. From there Tiger is thrown into a world that she never wanted or expected.

This book gutted me. The emotions and actions of Tiger remind me of the emotions and issues I had after my Dad died. I think I cried through the majority of the book. Even as this book emotionally drained me I couldn’t put it down. I would love to know what happens to the characters after the end of the book. Phenomenal!

This book starts out, from the very first page pulling your heartstrings, and it doesn't stop. This is my first Kathleen Glasgow book, I do however have another one of hers sitting on my bookshelf just dying to be read. This was such an emotional and raw read, I can't believe it took me so long to read it.

While it's heavy in subject matter, it was an incredibly fast read, and I really just loved it. I will advise you to have some tissues handy.

Glasgow delves deep into grief after Tiger Tollier loses her mother, June, which propels her into the foster care system. Tiger has to grapple with a very different sort of life while losing the one person on whom she has always depended. You heart will break again and again.

A rare book that grabs you from the very first page. I have recommended this for readers who enjoy a gritty read full of all the feels.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK by Kathleen Glasgow (Girl in Pieces) is a truly memorable coming of age story. As the author notes, it "is, above all, a book about grief. This is a book about learning how to go on, about finding your way in the dark."

Glasgow shares the story of Tiger Toliver, a 16-year-old high schooler who lives with her single Mom. Like many mothers and daughters, they are good friends, but they also have the power to hurt each other. Tiger wants a more "normal" teenage life, with boys and dances, but her Mom struggles with that coming independence. They have a heated argument and shortly afterwards Tiger learns that her Mom has unexpectedly died. Truly bereft and suddenly a ward of the state, Tiger is moved into the foster care system. She is shifted between homes and ultimately is assigned a guardian, Shayna, but more problems and complications occur.

I highly recommend HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DARK and so do many authors (including Jennifer Niven, Julie Buxbaum, and Karen M. McManus) currently writing for young adults. I am looking forward to booktalking and sharing this very powerful novel; it will allow readers to empathize with and to better appreciate the many emotions that Tiger and her friends and classmates experience. Glasgow purposefully weaves in a portrait of the upheavals of life in a system that covers "almost half a million kids in foster care in the United States alone. Almost 2.5 million children are now homeless in the U.S. and one in twenty-eight kids has an incarcerated parent.... These kids are all around you: in your class, on your team, in your neighborhood, your camp, sitting quietly among the stacks in your library. Do you know them?"

While I can't speak personally to the realism of the novel, the depth of grief and loss Tiger feels certainly felt very real. Her experiences and those of the other children she meets are heart-wrenching, but the writing makes her experience meaningful and beautiful. I loved the setting and the characters around her.

*Book Received in Exchange for Honest Opinion/Review*

This book was just as dark and heavy as I anticipated. I knew going in after reading the synopsis that this book was going to weigh heavily upon my heart, and sometimes the world needs books like this. Sometimes we need to be emotionally gutted and that is exactly what this novel will do.

I really enjoyed how beautiful How to Make Friends with the Dark was. Haunting, poignant, and an accurate portrayal of how there isn’t a guide for grief. Sometimes the darkness swallows us whole, and we just have to give in and wallow before finding any semblance of light. And boy did Tiger wallow, I was drowning in her pain and anguish, there were several moments when I wondered if it would ever get better? Will her pain ever lighten? And watching the harsh reality of her life play out was both heartbreaking and moving.

There were just several things that I thought took away from the story, starting with the names. Tiger and Cake, while adorable, they are childish. I would have loved to see more mature nicknames as this book is centered around teenagers. Secondly, Tiger has a fleeting romance that happens but goes up in flames after her mother passes. I thought this took away from her grief and while I understand that lashing out does occur when you are going through grief, I don’t think this was the right way to approach it. I just didn’t care for the anger and outburst, it was an unnecessary distraction from the main story line.

In the end, there was a semblance of hope. And though it took a couple months, the pain does ease, it doesn’t go away but Kathleen Glasgow accurately portrays the struggles and constant reminders of the loved ones we lost. A must read for any teen struggling with grief and the loss of a loved one.

At first I figured I knew exactly where this book was headed. Sudden, unexpected grief and a life you don't know how to live. Some of the plot elements are exactly what you would expect. But in many ways Glasgow pushes her plot much further than other writers. Tiger, as the novel's title implies, embraces darkness. Her life is entirely out of control and she's fully disconnected from everything she's ever known. As such, she makes drastic decisions with long term consequences. In that way, this is a realistic plot. It's also uncomfortable and difficult to engage with. So I would exercise caution before recommending to the average reader.

How to Make Friends with the Dark wasn't what I was expecting. It's actually pretty heavy from the start, and it only gets worse as the story progresses. Tiger's mom dies, so obviously it isn't going to be about sunshine and rainbows, but the entire thing felt a little off. The way people reacted to certain scenarios, and how they spoke... it just didn't ring true. At times the story and conversations felt rushed, and other times I felt like Tiger was over-explaining her feelings and rambling.

It also threw me when the author kept changing Tiger's point of view. One chapter she's saying, "and you drag yourself, sick as you feel, but elated," and the next it's, "ready to strike me down if I don't cook drugs for her." I can see how this might work for the story, but it almost feels like Tiger is two people, and it was more confusing than convincing.

Tiger is also incredibly repetitive with her descriptions of things. I'm not sure if it was intentional, or if the author didn't realize her character had previously made similar comparisons.

"And Kai, who looks dreamy and sweet, plucking his bass, his brow furrowed, like one of my books might say."

"His brow is knitted, as they might say in one of the books we read last fall in Lit class."

And then there were times when I didn't understand the main character at all, "Suddenly the smear of acne across his jawline wasn’t something I was embarrassed for, for him, but something I found tender, and wanted to touch." Would anyone really think that?

Side note: Tiger and her mother are barely scraping by, there's no food in the house, but they both have cell phones. Details like this irk me, because food is a priority, texting is not. I understand having a phone for emergencies, but Tiger's mom was calling and texting her despite knowing her daughter was in school. Also, phone bills are expensive, and that money could have kept Tiger from going to school hungry, and desperately trying to scrape Life Savers from the bottom of her backpack.

In the end, How to Make Friends with the Dark just wasn't a good fit for me. I've read other raving reviews, so don't simply take my word for it. If you think it sounds interesting, try it for yourself. I didn't get very far into the book, but I did glimpse Tiger's first negative experience with foster care, so be warned. Children are often mistreated even when they are under the "protection" of the state, and I have a feeling this book is going to touch on some of the more unpleasant aspects of being in the system.

Tiger Toliver and her mother live together in a little house doing the best they can with what they have. Her mom is overly protective, which drives Tiger crazy sometimes, but they are best friends. When Tiger asks her mom if she can go to the school dance, her mom, unexpectedly, says yes and buys Tiger a dress. It's the most hideous thing Tiger has ever seen. They get into a huge fight, and she tells her to just leave her alone. It turns out those are the last words Tiger ever says to her mom. Hours later, she finds out her mom had a stroke and died. She now has to face life without her, and she ends up in the foster system until a long lost half sister that she never knew about shows up. Through it all, she wears the horrible dress, day in and out. I liked this book and the representation of the emotions that Tiger went through, but found some aspects a bit far fetched like wearing the dress every day and some of the sister’s behaviors. She was lost without her mother, and the author certainly made you feel that bond and all that Tiger was going through.

How to Make Friends with the Dark recounts, in unminced words, the process of grieving. I've read (and reviewed) a lot of books about death, but none of them got to me the way this one did. I am fortunate. I have little experience with death-grief. Being inside Tiger's head turned me inside-out, emotionally. I am still reeling.

The summary states the catalyst for the events of the book, but essentially, Tiger had no other family except for her mother. She winds up in foster care, where she meets many kids with a variety of stories, as well as adults--helpful and unhelpful. I appreciated Glasgow's consideration of how in the system, there are both good and bad experiences. Some made a genuine effort to help Tiger, and others didn't. I know it's not officially part of the book, but Glasgow's author's note at the end was particularly thoughtful.

I digress. What I liked most was how imperfect Tiger's grief was. First-person perspective contributed so much to this, because in combination with Glasgow's writing, Tiger was SO REAL. Her emotions were tangible, and I cried no less than four times. We didn't know her mom (June) for very long, but Tiger's love for her was evident, and thus her sorrow and confusion and anger and sadness were all the more weighted.

We spend so much time inside Tiger's head, but also get to experience her relationships with multiple secondary characters, all of whom I liked. One in particular I can't say anything about, but her mere existence shocked me. In the end, despite multiple mishaps, I'm glad her story of recovery was included in the novel. I think Tiger's relationship with her helped establish Tiger's story as unique, and not just the generic story of a girl whose mother passed away.

​Overall, Tiger's powerful story earns 5/5 stars from me. I was blown away by this book, and I 100% recommend it.

Review



I first want to thank both Delacorte press and Netgalley for gifting me a copy of the book for an honest review.

*Disclaimer: Self-harm, contemplation of suicide, and drug and alcohol violence.*

In this book we follow Grace Tolliver "Tiger" through a heart felt journey where she loses her mother and bestfriend June. June is everything she has always had in her life. No brother, father, grand-parents of cousins that she knows of. So when she loses her mother she feels like she lost her whole life with her. Her mother was also always really strict with her and in her final moments, they had a big argument. Which tore Tiger apart. We follow Tiger as she meets new people who become a great influence in her life. We also get a preview of what it will be like to be a foster child.



I really enjoyed this book from the beginning, it was a little slow paced and a bit heavy even if it wasn't as dark as I expected it to be. It was 416 pages which I feel could have been condensed a bit maybe to 300 pages or so. I wanted this book to make me cry and make me want to carve my heart out and it didn't do that. I felt bored and annoyed at times. I wish the author would have included more heart-felt scenes in the book. I wish Tiger would have gone through more of a relapse and then gotten back up on her feet. But that's just my opinion on the matter of what she was going through. I definitely do recommend the book, especially for readers who are just beginning to pick up books based on grief and self-harm.





3 ⋆⋆⋆

Eye opening look into life as a foster child. I wish this was the focus because there are not a lot of YA books about foster kids/teens.

It was difficult to connect to Tiger and her relationship with her mother because she was only on the page for one chapter so when she died it wasn't as impactful as it could have been. Because we only saw Tiger's mom for one chapter, I was hoping to get to know her in flashbacks or memories but that didn't happen.

There was too much focus on the sister and her problems which seem to come out of nowhere and was wrapped up too quickly.

I did enjoy the platonic friendship between Tiger and Thaddeus. Far too often YA tries too hard to make a romance so I appreciated the friendship.

Overall, I felt like I've heard Tiger's voice before and I didn't get any new insights into dealing with grief.

What does it mean to make friends with the dark? To be so lost in your grief that you can’t find any foreseeable way out? To come to terms with the death of a loved one, and find peace within yourself? Kathleen Glasgow, renowned author Girl in Pieces, explores the black hole of grief in her new novel, How to Make Friends with the Dark, in which a teenage girl unexpectedly loses her mother, and learns just how dark of a place grief can be.

Tiger Tolliver just wants the things that all teenage girls want - to hang out with her best friend, shop for her own clothes, and go to the school dance with her crush. While Tiger’s mom can be a little absent-minded and quirky, there’s no doubting that she loves Tiger with her entire heart ... maybe a little too much. Tiger is finding her mom’s overprotectiveness to be a bit suffocating, so one day she blows her off, and that’s when the unthinkable happens. Her mom dies.

How to Make Friends with the Dark is one of those novels that will hit right at home for anyone who has suffered a terrible loss. Glasgow perfectly captures the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, sorrow, hopelessness, confusion, and guilt that follows the death of a loved one within her story of Tiger, a young girl who loses the most important figure in her life - her mother.

Not only is Glasgow’s writing in this book beautiful; so is her story of Tiger who moves through the grief process before our eyes in the novel. From unbearable loss, to foster homes, to self-destructive behaviors, to finding yourself again, Glasgow realistically portrays grief in a relatable, compassionate way.

Thank you to NetGalley and Delacorte Press for a digital ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

I really wanted to read and enjoy this book but I had so much trouble getting through it. It was so dark and depressing from the very beginning. I will say that some of the writing was really beautiful prose. However I just wasn’t prepared for how sad this one turned out to be,