I don't generally read "mommy blogs" so I wasn't familiar with Heather at all. I accepted the advance copy because so many people in my family suffer from depression and I thought that reading her profoundly personal story might give me a clearer picture of what life is like at the bottom of the depression pit. It's not great, even if you have family support and money. Heather is pretty funny about the entire situation in a believable way.
I think it is so important to be open and honest about mental health issues and not sweep them under the rug. This book will go a long way towards that end.

It's rare to find a book that describes depression so accurately. Heather B. Armstrong hits on depression in such a painfully accurate way that it's breathtaking. I do have to say that I went into the book not having any idea who she was or how apparently she's The Mommy Blogger, so I'm unfamiliar with her blog or her previous writing. I looked at reviews of her previous books, and just from what I can tell, The Valedictorian... looks like it's fresh, new material that isn't taken mostly from her blog in addition to being a book that's less about mommy things and more about human things.

Another comment I frequently saw in reviews was that Armstrong spends a lot of time trying to be funny, and while the subject matter for this book is pretty serious, there were humorous moments, but there were also moments that yes, definitely felt like the author trying to be funny, which is kind of eh for me. Maybe if I were more familiar with her writing via her blog or her previous books, it wouldn't stick out to me so much, but it's certainly something I noticed more than a couple times.

Overall, this is a great, deeply personal book. I wish that some additional stories had been given some more depth. (What's the story with her father? There seems to be a much more complex story there than what we were given. Maybe that's for another book, which I would 100% be interested in reading.) . That being said, it's still one of the most authentic books that details what it's like to be depressed and just as importantly, what it's like to get better.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live by Heather B. Armstrong

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Holy cow. This book.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead is Heather Armstrong's story of recovery and it's powerful. She's long been known as a "mommy blogger" over at Dooce and has shared her life with readers for years. However, following her divorce and bitter custody, Armstrong actively worked to keep her crippling depression secret from everyone but her mother. With nothing working and no other options, she decides to try an experimental treatment meant to reset her brain by nearly killing it.

The book is well written though conversational -- think of it as an extended blog post. Armstrong is both poignant and hilarious and I found myself laughing out loud and openly sobbing over the course of the book. It's a quick read and I finished it in just a few hours. The writing is very detailed and some readers might not understand why Armstrong writes about the sound of shoes on the floor or the overpowering feeling of exhaustion. It's almost something one has to have lived to understand.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead hit closer to home than I anticipated. While I don't suffer from clinical depression, I do suffer from chronic illness and I've been having more flare-ups since December 2018. I know what it's like to look down the tunnel and there's no light. I know what it's like to wonder "Is this all there is?" I know what it feels like to want to be dead. I know all these things and my heart goes out to everyone who fights this battle Every. Damn. Day.

This is a fantastic book for family members who don't understand but want to learn more about the struggle faced by those with mental or chronic illness. Bottom line -- this is a good book. It's an important book. It's a must read from me.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Maybe you've experienced it for just 1 day, maybe years. This one hit close to home as depression has been on old "friend" of mine for the majority of my life. She expresses the hopelessness, and how debilitating depression can be in ways that I could never express. She nailed it. I found myself highlighting quote after quote throughout the entire book, because, she get it. This was refreshing because she expressed how I've personally felt (but been unable to express adequately), and I was reminded that I am not alone in this battle.
*thank you NETGALLEY for this advance copy

DNF at 17%

I loved the look of the cover and the subject was interesting to me as I have a rare chronic disease , so I’m interested in hearing others experience managing their own rare health issues. Perhaps if I’d been familiar with her blog I would have been able to follow her stream of consciousness writing a little better. Instead I’m left wondering why she’s telling us about her chronic UTI problems when it’s a non-issue. These little “details” just got in the way of the good stuff, like being a part of a really intense new study on treating depression while raising children. In regards to the study, a lot just didn’t ring true for me and my experiences with medical issues. A doctor has never guaranteed me success for a well-studied, FDA approved treatment, so hearing her doctor say he knows it’ll work when she’s patient 3 was just confusing. I’ve never had family be allowed in an operating or recovery area, but her parents could come and watch them do the treatment and then sit as she came out of anesthesia. I stopped after chapter 3 because I struggled with the veracity of the trial experience and I could not handle reading the random parts that offered no insight to her life or the story.

This memoir was fascinating. I read Armstrong’s earlier memoir years ago, and enjoyed it even though I’m not a reader of her blog. When I saw she wrote a new one, I picked it up without reading what it was about.
Basically, the author suffered from a severe, unrelenting bout of depression that was so alarming that she qualified for a study in which she was put into a form of temporary brain death (her description) that lasted a few minutes before being revived and sent on her way the same day. The process was then repeated three times a week for a month. And it cured her depression.
As a medical professional, this entire concept set off all sorts of alarm bells. How on earth did such a study make it past ethical review? Being put under anesthesia for a voluntary procedure carries risks, but to induce temporary brain death using deadly drugs for a casual, out-patient procedure? Essentially killing a patient ten times? Sure, why not.
I’m glad Armstrong found relief from her symptoms. I would caution any reader suffering from similar symptoms to take her experience with a grain of salt and consult with a trained provider using evidence-based treatment methods.

You might know Heather B. Armstrong from her blog, Dooce. But did you know that she suffered from terrible depression? The kind that makes you dream about dying. It was so bad that Heather signed up for a form of treatment that basically rendered her dead in order to bring her back to life. In her memoir, The Valedictorian of Being Dead, she shares this incredible (and quite frankly, scary to me) journey.

For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It’s scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. But in 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn’t shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. So, for the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial involving a chemically induced coma approximating brain death.

Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous eighteen months of suicidal depression she endured and the month-long experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full fifteen minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn’t easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn’t experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since.

Heather describes depression well, she’s an excellent writer. Fans of her blog, who have followed along with her journey, will definitely appreciate this book and relate to Heather. For me, I finished the book wondering if I would be willing to go through what she did with this experimental trial to help my depression. Would you?

Lots to think about with this book! Due out April 23.

Wow. I was mesmerized and couldn't put this book down. It was also a bit difficult to read such a revealing look at major depression.

I think what most amazed me the most was how (SPOILER ALERT), from the vantage point of being recovered, Heather Armstrong was able to re-inhabit her depressed self. In finest story-telling fashion, she shows us rather than tells us, what her experience was. She also unfolds her experience like a plot. I should have guessed that the experimental treatments worked, but I still had to race to find out.

Conveying such a heavy topic with lightness and humor is a magic trick - how did she do it? She also manages to be loving toward everyone in her family, even though it is clear that her father's temper, her parents' divorce, leaving the Mormon faith, and her own failed marriage all played parts in her psychological difficulties.

Perhaps readers familiar with Armstrong's blog won't be so surprised she pulled off this memoir with such aplomb. Her aim is to share the experience of major depression in the hopes of helping others to recognize the illness and seek treatment. I believe she will accomplish that goal. I think it is noteworthy to show an experimental treatment from the inside. I have not read anything else quite like it, but to be fair, I have only heard about clinical trials from news reports.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead takes the reader right into the world of someone who is severely, clinically depressed. It is the radical and very unusual journey of how one woman climbed out of her depression. When I finished reading, I felt happy for Heather's success, but I also feel oddly unsettled. I wonder why her mother is so seemingly close to her father after being divorced for decades, especially given that the father clearly had anger issues. It has me thinking about how differently individuals react to criticism and negative environments. Why can some people shake off negative situations and others just can't? There is still a lot to learn about depression.

4.5 stars.

This is a powerful book. Despite a few jokes here and there, it's not a funny book. It's not your typical dooce stories. It's an honest and raw book on the profound toll depression can take on your life and the lengths to which one might be willing to go to release themselves from the grip of it.

Back when my kids were in their toddler years, I used to read dooce and while I didn't relate to many of her stories, her blog was compulsively readable. It was honest (maybe honest is not the right word since everyone writing online is presenting a version of themselves) and funny and it gave me something to do during those endless nights with little babies. I stopped reading it over the years and have maybe checked in on her site twice in the last ten years.

Nonetheless, when I saw this ARC, I knew I wanted to read it. I have my own stories with depression and knowing how raw she can be, I wanted to read what she wrote. I knew it would be well written in her compulsively readable style.

This book was probably one of the rawest descriptions of depression I've ever read. The feelings and thoughts were articulated with such honesty that it hurt to read them. It was hard to get through much of this book, especially if you can connect with any of the feelings/thoughts. I found myself connecting with her mother and feeling such an overwhelming sadness of watching your kid go through all that and also such awe at her showing up for her daughter again and again.

It's so easy to believe that the pieces of ourselves we share online (or even offline for that matter) are who we are. But they are far from it. The truth is always far from what we see. It's layers and layers of complicated truths. And of course even with this book we won't ever know the full story but I am still grateful Heather chose to write this story, chose to articulate what depression can feel like. We need more stories of the not-so-pretty but honest parts of life so all of us can feel less alone in our mess. So all of us can be more compassionate towards each other.

thanks to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.

Heather B. Armstrong's latest memoir chronicles her journey through an experimental treatment for severe depression. Throughout the story, she shares anecdotes about her life with her two daughters and her relationship with her Mormon family.

In her storytelling, Armstrong manages to convey the seriousness of her depression and anxiety while inserting her own style of humor so that a very heavy topic becomes much easier to digest.

I enjoyed this story without having previously followed Armstrong's blogs, I related as a mother and found her descriptions of the struggle through this treatment to be an engaging and ultimately hopeful story.

Heather Armstrong's The Valedictorian of Being Dead is a captivating memoir about mental health and medical breakthroughs. It's also an introspective look at a woman's relationship with her family. Suffering from treatment-resistant depression, Armstrong undergoes an experimental treatment in which she is placed in a chemically-induced come to "reset" her brain. The basics of the story are known from the start, but Armstrong's writing is what makes the book unputdownable.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Gallery Books, and Heather B. Armstrong for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. The publication date for this memoir is April 23, 2019.

I got approved for this book yesterday afternoon, downloaded it, and then read it in one sitting over the course of a few hours. It's a fast read down to Armstrong's conversational writing style as well as to the repetitiveness of the treatment she experienced. It's a good book. As a long-time reader of dooce.com, it's hard not to feel a small connection to Armstrong, and who among us would not be overjoyed to watch a person go from wishing they were dead to being able to hear music again? I enjoyed every appearance by Leta & Marlo, as well as all of the shade Armstrong threw at her ex-husband, who sounds like a bit of a tool.

This was an excellent book. It’s a very honest and engrossing story about depression and the experimental treatment the author went through. She includes motherhood, marriage/divorce, and her childhood.

There’s a real problem with talking about mental health in our country. This very real stigma keeps people from expressing how they’re feeling when they experience mental health issues, but even worse, it can keep them from seeking much-needed treatment.

For that reason, we need more books like Heather Armstrong’s “The Valedictorian of Being Dead.”

As a long-time follower of Dooce.com, I had been looking forward to this book (with thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for an Advanced Reader Copy.)

It’s an interesting walk through of the experimental treatment Armstrong went through to treat depression. And it’s full of humor, grit, and insight, just as you’d expect from this author. And it’ll be interesting to see if this ECT treatment turns out to be a viable option for more individuals seeking treatment for severe depression.

This is the first-person account of Heather's struggle with treatment-resistant depression and the rather outlandish treatment that she is the 3rd person to try. Rather like re-booting a computer, the treatment is to aenesthetize the patient back to death, without actually allowing the patient to die, in an attemp to quiet the voices, feelings and sensations of intractable depression. Painfully honest, Heather allows the reader into her life at the risk of her ex-husband finding out about the extent of her depression and taking her children away.

An important book to help people understand the utter helplessness and hopelessness of depression and the extent that Heather was willing to endure to get better.

This is a much needed book on depression. I was an avid reader of Heather's website, dooce, and have read a few of other books. However, not until The Valedictorian of Being Dead, did I fully appreciate and comprehend depression. I thought the weaving of the stories of Heather's life and family was well done as she took the reader through dying 10 times. I'd recommend this book to anyone who is going through depression, a divorce, or even someone who is just struggling and doesn't know how to ask for help. There's so many lessons here! I loved it.

I’ve read many stories of people battling mental illness, but have never read a book with as much honesty and vulnerability as “The Valedictorian of Being Dead.” As a woman that struggles with depression & anxiety, there were so many moments that I could relate to. I am encouraged by Heather’s bravery to fight for her life. I highly recommend this book; I don’t think it’s just for people who have a mental illness, but for anyone who wants to understand and have compassion for those who do.

I can’t remember where I first heard of Dooce but I followed her on insta for a long time and read her blog. I think she was one of the first I heard who of who monetized their presence on the web and I found it fascinating. What I admire is as our society descended into an almost Stepford Wife perfection she always kept it real. My heart hurt for her grappling with all she shares in these pages and I appreciate her bravery in helping advance medical progress with treating severe depression. I’m so glad she found a way with help out of the dark. Bravo Heather!

Anyone who has experienced depression will quickly connect with the author. It appears she had an intractable situation and fights constantly to stay above the siren song of suicide.

Its easy to have so much compassion for her, and how desperately she wants to get better. I am amazed at her mother and her constanstancy for her daughter.
It is interesting that this disease flows so strongly among families, and it is comforting to see that it is in fact a disease and not a choice.

There are moments when this is hard to read and moments rich with hope and joy.