I think it was the title of this book that drew me to it.
We live in a world that increasingly encourages us to reveal our true self to families, work colleagues, and wear our heart on our sleeves. The unfortunate consequence for many people of all this personal authenticity is that we give other people the ammunition to attack us.

There are people who subscribe to the view that words don’t hurt, but the reality is that the pain they cause is more difficult to see than the cuts and bruises of physical injuries. The big difference is that physical injuries heal much quicker than the emotional variety.

Whilst the world is supposed to be more accepting of difference, the names we call other people and the uncomfortable labels we attribute to them always seem to focus on the negative aspects of their difference and limit both our expectations of them and the opportunities that we give them access to.

Reading Uncomfortable Labels did prompt some uncomfortable memories that demonstrate how close we are, despite our own live and let live attitudes, to someone who is less accepting.

When a work colleague from Eastern Europe who told me that they could not understand anyone who was not heterosexual. I found myself telling them that they did not have to understand how other people live their lives, but that it is important to allow people the freedom to live their lives.

In Uncomfortable Labels, Laura Kate Dale explores consequences for her not of the labels that result from name calling, but the official names, and labels that she is given as a gay autistic trans woman, and how they impact her life.

In many ways this is a simple tale of everyday life, which provides an insight into a life that is quite different to my own.

At times you feel the injustice of the human condition and how other humans create those limitations, and then there are others where it is the human spirit that comes to the fore.

The end result for this reader at least is an increased understanding of not just what these uncomfortable labels mean for one woman but what they mean to me and just how much I still have to learn.

I don’t read much non-fiction these days, but I’m glad I made an exception for this book. If you want an in-depth, unflinching look at the many ways bearing a minority labels intersect and create unique challenges, read this book.
I love the cover art. Such a simple, yet eloquent metaphor with an aesthetically pleasing execution; it really is a great example of the simple, skilful storytelling to come. Uncomfortable Labels is filled with statistics, data and clear explanations of the occurrence rates and results of being LGBTQ+ or autistic, usually backed up with anecdotes from the author’s own life. Laura Kate Dale covers so many issues that I could fill the rest of this review just listing the topics covered. She looks at the largely unmentioned, statistically significant overlap of autism and transgender identities, and the various explanations that have been put forward to explain this. She considers the need for greater variance in autism-friendly events and spaces, and autistic and transgender representation. She looks at the way society is slowly becoming more accepting, and sheds light on the many ways we are still falling short.
At one point, and in one line, Laura Kate Dale summarises the experience of being a misunderstood minority (or in her case, several minorities, each working to compound and complicate the challenges such differences cause), and the message society repeatedly and unconsciously sends, even when trying to be inclusive: “—have superpowers or be invisible”
That being said, the book is not an attempt to seek pity or magnify the difficulties the author has faced in her time. Laura Kate Dale acknowledges her privileges and speaks only on the issues she has the authority and personal experience to speak about. At times experiences were described as being a risk due to the author’s status as a transgender and/or autistic woman that seemed to apply to women in general, though I think the increased risk posed due to the marginalisation of such groups of women is all that was being conveyed.
Despite covering some truly dark topics, Uncomfortable Labels is not a gloomy, depressing read. Laura's life story thus far is actually an inspiring tale of the ways you can (with sufficient support, effort and motivation) achieve the life you've always wanted. While she's certainly dealt with far more grief and discrimination than anyone should have to, the author doesn't dwell on the negatives, choosing to focus instead on the ways she has overcome her low points, and how other people in similar situations can do the same.
There were some areas that seemed repetitive—with each chapter ending in a summary that at times seemed very similar to the earlier explanation of the issue at hand, but this seemed more like a reiteration than a true failure in editing. The only thing I didn’t like about this book was the almost positive way in which the book covered Laura’s ecstasy (MDMA) usage. The author acknowledges that it isn’t healthy or good to rely on such substances, that usage is illegal and that it can have long-term harmful effects; but she also attributes several positive effects on her life to the drug usage, which I felt was a little irresponsible. That being said, the book is an honest recounting in the author’s own words of her life story. If she believes MDMA had a positive influence on her experiences with the world, saying otherwise would dilute the honesty that makes Uncomfortable Labels so compelling, but I was uncomfortable with the message that section of the book seemed to send.
All in all, this book is a masterpiece that tells an uplifting tale of victory in the face of hardships, and the battle it often takes to be uncompromisingly true to yourself. Uncomfortable Labels is a must-read for anyone on the autism spectrum, any member of the LGBTAIQ+ community, anyone who knows someone in either group, or anyone who wants greater insight into the myriad of ways minority labels (especially working in conjunction) effect those who bear them.

Powerful, brutally honest, brave, authentic.
Dale has written an extremely important book that should be:
a) compulsory reading to everyone who would like to bring a little more humanity and compassion into the world; and
b) treated with the respect that its author deserves.

Thank you so much to Laura and NetGalley for sharing this book with us.

I'd like to start with the agknowlegment that because this book is a memoir, it is automatically #OwnVoices. The book overall is good. I like how Laura makes connections between being autistic and being trans. Her audience is most likely less informed(?). IDK how to word it so that it's not ableist, but basically, she wrote it with informing and teaching people both about autism and about what it means to be trans. Also, I totally understand that language and labels are a personal choice, and I know I shouldn't be, but Laura's use of person first language ("person with autism" vs "autistic person") sort of annoyed me. Side note for people in school reading this: always use identity first language unless an actual disabled person (or a #ActuallyAutistic person) tells you otherwise. She also uses "ASD" and "autism spectrum disorder" which also feels weird because autism isn't really a disorder, it's a neurodivergence. Also, towards the beginning, she discusses "male" and "female" presenting autism, which LITERALLY DOES NOT EXIST.

Laura tackles a variety of issues while also teaching the reader. Many of the issues are listed in the Trigger Warning section as they are common triggers, but the gist of those can be assumed. She also talks about common stereotypes and representation issues. I'm really glad that she actually talks about how some people will NEVER pass. She talks about the lack of accessibility in queer spaces (which hurts both disabled people and teens). Laura's discussion on stimming is really important. It made me feel seen. Her mention of happy flapping made me so happy because it's so discouraged by society.

It's interesting to learn about the medical system in the UK. I know about the US system, and a bit about Canada and Australia, but I had no idea how the NHS (National Health System) works in the UK.

Although slow and intense in the beginning, the ending made up for it. I LOVED the section on roller derby because its something I sort of want to try. I could basically hear how much Laura loves it and I'm so happy for her. Despite the rocky start, the book worked it's way up to a 4 star rating. I really need to start reading more trans memoirs. Comment below if you have recommendations.

“Still, nobody tells me anymore that my eyelashes should belong to somebody else. I like that I’m now allowed to enjoy my eyelashes”

In this book, Laura explores the labels she has been assigned by birth, by others and those she chose herself. It’s a powerful, soul-baring book by a trans autistic woman who has struggled with a lack of belonging (of “fitting in”) for as long as she can remember. It’s deep, it’s moving, and actually I learned a lot from reading this book. I’m sure that hers is a story I will reflect on for some time to come.

However... For me, the book fell down in its structure. It started in a typical university essay way, interestingly enough. I kind of geekily like that style of writing so I was hooked. She explains her structure and how she will tell us her story chronologically from birth to current day. However, the story jumps. A lot. One minute we’re in the past, then in present day, then back in the past again, and then there are facts, and then back to the past again. At times this made it hard to follow and I would have preferred the straightforward chronology. This did improve as the book went on but it was still quite jumpy throughout.

All in all, a story worth hearing regardless of how it’s written.
⭐️⭐️⭐️/5


Thank you to @netgalley #jessicakingsleypublishers and for giving me access to this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book is for anyone struggling with their identity with gender rules placed at birth by society. Young people who are most vulnerable to commit suicide because of feeling isolated this book will help you through those times. Clinicians who need a first person perspective of being transgender and having autism this book is a great read. This book is for parents who are trying to understand their autistic children the struggles they may face to be better prepared to assist them when your children are being bullied or feeling isolated.
I found myself thinking about my own life and my own struggles being part of the LGBT community. I would of liked to have read a book like this to help me feel like I was not alone when I was younger and coming out. Gender rules and roles are forced upon us at birth it limits us in growth and potential. We are taught early on that girls act a certain way and boys another. Boys are better at certain things then girls and vice versa. It kills potential and makes young children feel inadequate when they do not conform to roles as laid out by society. The harms placed on individuals wanting to be who they feel they need to be.
Laura shared her story it was sad at times but it was also filled with a lot of inspiration and strength to fight for change and the opportunity to be the best Laura can be. I truly appreciate your candid honesty of your worst times of your life. The social worker in me felt sad by the struggles and bullying you suffered. I agree the world would be so much better if we removed binary roles and allow people to express themselves without being labeled a monster. I have always felt that labels do more harm then good because once you are label right or wrong it sticks with you. I agree with the hopes of the future for positive change for more acceptance.
Thank you Laura for opening my eyes to the connection between autism and LGBT issues. More studies need to be done to help develop programs to ensure that children who need the assistance get it in a safe and accepting environment. We need to also understand better the connection between the two to ensure that treatments are available and to assist clinicians with the right tools to assist clients more effectively.
Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read this book for free for an honest review.

Clear, direct, and with an uncommon precision of language, Laura Kate Dale writes about her experience as a transgender autistic woman. She takes us from childhood through puberty and into adulthood, carefully explaining how it felt to wear both labels. Her willingness to share her struggles helped me deepen my understanding of friends and family members, and her citing of research will allow me to be a stronger advocate.

This book should be required reading for anyone who feels that they can't relate to people on the autism spectrum or to people who are transgender. Laura Dale's writing cuts to the core of the human experience and makes it easy for the reader to relate.

“Every day, I had to choose between acknowledging the deep discomfort I was feeling, or hiding it and suffering alone. For years, I choose suffering.”

But first and foremost it will be a beacon of hope to other transgender people and the people who love them. It is a story of self-acceptance and a call for us to fight harder for universal acceptance for all. Laura's frank descriptions of the challenges she faces are balanced with the joy and success she has found. Written with detailed descriptions of the past tempered with the adult reflection, Uncomfortable Labels is a testimony of strength and courage.

She writes, “I honestly think the world needs more trans people who are open about their transitions. Who don’t try to pass. Who insist that beautiful can mean a lot of different things. The same goes for autism and how it is seen in the world.” I wholeheartedly agree.

Thanks, Net Galley for providing a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this book, so much so that I read it in a couple of hours in one sitting!

The book is an account of Laura's life as a lesbian, trans woman with autism that is broken down in to three sections. I have never read anything that discusses the intersectionality of these three together and found it both incredibly interesting and informative.

Laura's writing style is wonderful, you feel as though you are having a lovely long open and honest conversation with a friend and I think that style lent itself perfectly to the subject matter.

Two things I will note:
1 - There were a parts that get repeated a few times, as this is an ARC I assume these will be edited before the final release (and could be because I read it very quickly and in one sitting).
2 - Trigger warnings for both suicide and addition/substance abuse - didn't impair my reading experience but worth knowing before reading.

I'm glad I read this and look forward to reading more regarding this topic and anything Laura writes in the future!

Heartening, informative memoir about being both autistic and trans. Some trigger warnings for suicidal ideation, but highly recommend for anyone looking to be a better ally.

This is an interesting story. I wish no one had to go through the bullying. But I would like to read more by this author.

I found Uncomfortable Labels difficult to follow in parts, but I don’t think that is surprising giving I’m a neurotypical cis woman!
I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to read about Laura’s experiences as an autistic trans woman, though.

Thank you for your honesty. I was so captivated by the author's candid honesty about the personal experience of the trials and tribulations that they went through. I was able to get a birds eye view of not only from the autistic perspective but from the transgender view as well.
You can't even imagine how tough it could be putting the two of those things together and attempting to survive in this messed up world. But how about in a different country? Does that make it any easier for someone?
Are the parents and society more acceptable?
This book is a must read... I am so glad that I did.
Thank you NetGalley.

Really interesting. I learned a lot reading this book. Recommend highly for anyone in a tough situation such as this. Great read.

Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got this book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.