Member Reviews
A touching and necessary book for those coming from an evangelical background; I commend the author on their courage and grit. These are the stories of a particular sub-culture of Americans, and are not perhaps useful to the mainline pastor unless one is counselling those who have come from a conservative background.
DNF. As an agnostic lesbian, I was curious about the subject matter. I think the book is designed for Christian queer people. As a non-Christian, I didn't feel like I was part of the target audience.
Powerful, moving and full of useful reflections and analysis on how to feel you belong after religious trauma. The author didn't hold her tongue and gave details of her personal life and experiences, speaking also about how to deal with the effects of negative reactions of every kind. Although it is impossible to have all the answers, and Amber Cantorna accepts that, this book provides help for the most common fears, questions, and doubts about being an LGBTQ Christian, but could also be of use for other, similar faiths.
This is a really helpful book with solid advice for everyone involved in this difficult process. I highly recommend.
Amber Cantorna clearly speaks from her own painful experience and she shares her hard-wrought wisdom with the rest of us.
When Amber came out as gay to her family, including her father, an executive of Focus on the Family (a conservative Christian organization), she lost almost everything. Unashamed seems like the guide she wished she had had on her own journey.
- fighting internalized homophobia
- finding an affirming faith community, - reestablishing your worth as a child of God, - navigating difficult family conversations
- healing from the pain of rejection.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. #Unashamed #NetGalley
I ended up dnfing Unashamed by Amber Cantorna, it wasn't what I expected. So, I wasn't able to get into it like I was hoping to.
Coming out isn't easy and can be especially daunting for individuals that come from a faith based background. This book in important to support those in coming out to their families and navigating the divide that often exists between the church and the LGBTQ+ community.
This was a great book which I think accomplished what it set out to do; which is provide guidance on how best to come out for Christian LGBTQ+ individuals.
Contrary to what the masses spew all over the place, I think Christianity was borne out of love and what better way to show love than to accept everyone regardless of their sexual orientation? This was a good show of that.
And really, LOVE IS LOVE IS LOOOOVE!
I'm not quite sure where to place this book on my collection of Christian LGBT+ books. It's not a Bible study, doesn't deal with the "clobber verses" and although is very autobiographical it is not a memoir. I honestly found myself frustrated. It's promoted as a book about coming out and conservative Christianity. I was beginning to count how many times the author referenced her own blog or recommended the reader to read other author's books. I couldn't understand why she couldn't include her other writing into this book. I think the author's personal journey and loving marriage are very encouraging. Her honesty about her family's reactions and her alienation from them is an uncomfortable reality for many in the community. There will be people, places and churches that will be neither welcoming nor affirming. So there is value in facing that and seeing how others come to decisions pertaining imperfect choices of quiet desperation, pretenses or separation from our family of origin. Quite honestly, that would be the person I recommend this book to - one facing these agonizing choices. The author has navigated these troubled waters and helps to clarify the options for the reader. I believe this author has found peace in being Unashamed.
. #NetGalley #Unashamed
Not sure I can agree with the author and the premises in this book, but a worthwhile read to hear another’s sllant and viewpoint on this very live issue today
I feel like this was intended to be a warm hug to Christian LGBTQ people and I definitely think it got that message across. I've never read a book like this and I very much wanted to. And it was so full of heart, I really ached and teared up on multiple pages. I especially found it empowering that the author didn't have a sparkly-easy-coming-out-story to her family. She's basically cut off completely from them and she can still talk about her love of God, the church, and encourage other gays.
basic things to know about the book:
- it first and foremost is about encouragement, it's about reaffirming you are loved and valued by God (and there's no "despite of being gay" or "love the sinner and not the sin" -- those phrases are smacked down)
- it does have plenty of suggestions and steps for how to come out safely in a christian (usually conservative) community who will most likely be unreceptive to you
- it does stress the importance of your safety first, especially for teens (i did actually think this was aimed at teens, but it's not specified to that age group)
- lots of discussion about living your authentic and true life and dismantling of inner-shame
I am disappointed that it didn't spend time on talking about those damning verses in the bible about being gay (it's mistranslated yo and she only briefly notes that). It gives resources to go find books that do go deeper into discussing the theology and the cultural/mistranslations of the bible. However I think it really should have discussed that here too? At least briefly. Honestly I wanted more depth in the book, all over. And it has to be said that it does come from a privileged angle and would be most helpful to people who have resources to be self-sufficient (if their family cuts them off) and has a community. If you're christian lgbtqia+ without a community while reading this, the book would probably leave you feeling still very lost.
I am really glad I read this! I wanted it to be deeper, but like w o w it was emotional to read quite a lot and inclusive and important.
I'm not aware of any other book like this, and I absolutely recommend it to any LGBTQ Christian. Author Amber Cantorna plays the part of big sister, faith guide, and encourager in chief- and does it very well.
A large part of this book involves making peace with God and the Bible as an LGBTQ Christian. Those who are uninterested and unaffected by religion may not find this book as helpful. The remaining part is a step by step guide through the process of coming out- how to know if you're ready, when and how to come out, how to deal with the fall-out. Peppered throughout are stories from Cantorna's own experience as well as many other LGBTQ Christians (she surveyed over 1500 for the book). Though the book is clearly targeted toward the LGBTQ community, each chapter concludes with a short section for Parents and Allies.
Definitely recommend.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which I am always happy to give. :) #Unashamed #NetGalley
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a helpful and beautiful book. I requested this book because I am attending a church that is LGBTQIA+ and women affirming and wanted to read more resources. Would highly recommend this to individuals coming out, parents of kids who are coming out, and allies.
This book is an excellent resource for people within the LGBTQ+ Christian community and their families. For some people being within the LGBTQ+ community coming out meant having to be separate from their faith but the author frames their coming out in terms of their Christian identity where people can seek to have a relationship with G-d and develop or maintain their links to the faith community. Not all families are accepting of their children that may be LGBTQ+ and for some people that means that they have to first accept their truths first but this can be difficult if they know that they might not find support from their families or within their church homes. There are many resources for individuals as well as families to help them understand that they are not wrong for being who they are, affirms that they can have a religious life, and there are resources for families to help them come to terms with their loved ones truth and be supportive of them. This is a very affirming, positive, helpful resource for everyone who may need to come out or look for resources to help someone on their coming out journey.
I have long waited for a book that will share the experiences of LGBT persons of Christian faith. These stories were not personable enough for me. It felt more like scientific analysis than overcoming guilt and shame stories of truimph. It will help some who are seeking to know that God loves them just as they are. Thanks to the authors and contributors for their analysis.
This book was what I needed to help me better understand how I can help my friends in my circle that is of the LGBTQ community. It was very helpful in understanding how sometimes they can feel. It helped with understanding how sometimes simple gestures to help make sure they are okay.
I wanted more for the parent or allies, just a little bit more.
I enjoyed this book and I’m going to recommend it to others. I really want to introduce more to my Bible Study class so that we can be a safe place.
I received this book from Netgalley and the publishers. I want to thank them both for allowing me to read this book.
I want to preface this by saying I went into this as an ally and friend to several very dear to me LGBTQ friends that are more like family to me. I really found this helpful to see more about struggles, confrontations, and overall discrimination that they face daily. At the end of each chapter, she includes a section for family and allies to LGBTQ people that are going through the topics discussed in the chapter. I found this very helpful. I only had one issue while reading it, and that was late in the book where she took scripture and put it into her own words. That is just a personal preference thing. I wasn't expecting the last chapter to be as hard-hitting and personal for me, but it was my favorite chapter in the book. The book as a whole will be one that I continue to recommend to others, whether in the community or family and allies of others.
(I will add the link to my blog post featuring this title when it is published at the end of April)
I was raised Christian and came out as bi in 2007. So I don’t need this book now. But wow could I have used it at 20. Amber’s father worked for Focus on the Family a conservative Christian group that my family followed. I think she does an eloquent job of explaining that God made you just as you are and how to deal with coming out to people who might not be welcoming. I also liked her encouragement to adjust faith from black and white thinking to embracing the unknown, as well as how authenticity brings true community.
Each chapter ends with tips for families and allies along the theme. I thought this could be very useful for certain families and wished the presence of them was more apparent from the title. Amber does a good job of giving a variety of examples and conversations. I was pleased to see that she gave examples of scenarios for younger and older coming out, and did not ignore the B or the T or Q in her writing. Some readers might be disappointed that the A isn't covered. However, I do think from my own time in conservative Christianity that probably that is less needed. The church has natural room for those who are "not called to marriage," perhaps even more so than in the broader culture. So I understand why it was left out. However, it would have been more inclusive to still mention it, perhaps in the introduction along with the encouragement toward authenticity.
Overall, this is a book that I am sure will be helpful to many. I'm proud of Amber for having the courage to live authentically and write a guide for others.
4* Emotional, educational, eye-opening and a book that anyone wanting to understand how LGBT people can be true to themselves, within Christianity.
This is a balanced, sincere, emotional and eye-opening read. It feels really heartfelt, not only from the author's POV, but from the RL examples of others who've been rejected by their families (as she and her wife have) and yet have found acceptance, solace and strength in the church (sometimes, but not always, those are new churches) and in Christianity. I particularly liked an example of a young man who came out to his parents, and his father told him he'd have to see the priest to get him fixed, and his mother told him he was dead to her, and yet the priest told him that God had made him, that there was nothing wrong with him, and that in fact his father should be the one seeking the priest's counsel (crappy mother was perhaps beyond hope?). However, there are many sadder examples of parents who never come round, of families forever broken, but the church, and their faith, have proved to be their support.
It's a book that I had to read in stages, as the RL examples hit hard, but there's also a lot to take in. You get advice, examples from the author herself, allies get information to help, parents/carers get advice - it's a book that's both a guide and a self-help tool, but none of it is done in a preachy way, none of it cusses anyone or any thing or any religion. It's a book that's true to what Christianity is meant to be about: acceptance, love, inclusion, support. I'd recommend this as general reading, tbh, not specifically for the LGBT community.
ARC courtesy of Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley, for my reading pleasure.
interesting read with unique and interesting writing. this book really made me think and question things but kept me into the story.
This is a very much needed book that's difficult to properly review without completely baring oneself. It's positive and hopeful and helpful and I can't recommend this enough to any lgbtq person who is going through difficult time and is struggling to hold onto their faith. It's also a great guide for family and friends, and allies in general who would love to help and be supportive but maybe don't know how.