A coming of age story about Nevaeh.
She is biracial. Her mom is black, her dad is white. They are also different religions, her mom is a baptist and her father is Jewish. Neither parent practiced their religion after they got married. But now they are divorced and Nevaeh is trying to define herself.

She is going to a very upscale private school. She passes as white.
When she’s with her mom, she’s in Harlem with her mom’s family. She never knew anyone from her mom’s family except her grandmother.
When she’s at school, she is one of the only biracial students and doesn’t feel like she fits in.
When she’s with her mom, she doesn’t feel black enough.

Neither of her parents offers her any support at all.
She goes to church with her mom’s Baptist family. As a reaction to this, her dad decides she should have a bat mitzvah.
It felt kind of manipulative of him. Like he was only doing it so she wasn’t a Baptist like her mom’s family.

Her mom is a mess about the divorce. She’s basically unable to get out of bed.
Her dad already has a new girlfriend.

While she’s struggling to find herself and define herself, she feels like she’s doing it alone.

I actually liked this even more once I read the author’s note. This was actually based on her life.

I thought it was really interesting. Thought provoking and well written.

I got to read an early copy from NetGalley. Thanks!

We are introduced to a 16 year old girl name Neveah who is biracial, Jewish and African American. Her parents are divorced and forced to moved to Harlem from her suburb home in NYC. She moves in with her extended family only to have her cousins dislike her because they think she privileged and looks more white than black with perfect hair ( I can remember kids not liking me in school because (in their words) I have "white people hair". Which really did bother me. I guess as an African American your hair is only to look a certain way). Her father also wants her to have a belated Bar Mitzvah and start attending Temple. To educate her and be more connected with their heritage, and because of all this she now struggles with her identity.

One Day Neveah travels up to her attic and finds her mothers diary and discovers reasons as to why her parents got divorced and more about her mother's struggles in her marriage.

I really enjoyed this coming of age debut novel. I loved character development, it was beautifully written and feel like many can relate to this story. I would so recommend this book.

Thank you so much for my copy.

Thank you @prhinternational for the free e-book!
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This ARC was provided for review, but in no way affects the following impartial and unbiased review:
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Firstly, I would like to add a note that, as a mixed-race kid myself, this book meant the world to me. It is so very important, don't miss it!
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4,5*
Pros: Beautiful description and writing style. Mixed-race lead and PoC characters. Invaluable take into colorism and the hardships of fitting in when your skin color sets you apart. Wholesome and heart-healing moments. Talks about divorce, grief and healing, different religions and cultures. Beautiful and empowering snippets of poetry. Important notes focused in equal rights and police brutality.
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Cons: The self-centered and mean nature of the lead character almost defeated what she was fighting for.

I was interested in this book, because I have a biracial child. As I read this book, it prompted me to recall a few uncomfortable moments I had experienced myself. For instance, when my daughter was younger, strangers asked me if I went to China to adopt her, and when she was older, she was mistaken for my romantic partner, but it was never assumed that she was my daughter. I can only imagine situations like these being a lot harder on a child, and I was really keen to learn about Diaz's experiences.

The demise of her parents' marriage was accompanied by an upheaval in Nevaeh's life. Following the split, she lived with her mother's estranged family, and her new circumstances forced Nevaeh to question who she was and where she belonged.

She had grown up in the suburbs and attended an upper crust prep school, where she was one of the few people of color, but because she was white-passing, she felt like an outsider when she moved to Harlem. Not only was Nevaeh biracial, but she was also pulled in two directions religiously. Her grandfather was the paster of a Baptist church, while her father was Jewish. She seemed to have one foot in several different worlds and didn't feel as though she belonged to any.

Nevaeh's struggle with all these identities were explored deftly by Diaz, and her yearning for someone to claim her as their own just broke my heart. I was pleased that her mother's family were there to support Nevaeh as she navigated this difficult path, and though she encountered a lot of disappointments and harsh realities, she grew and blossomed along the way.

This book tackled many issues such as colorism, racism, mental health, and bullying, but it was Nevaeh and her family who stole my heart.

Nevaeh's mother's family were all so well drawn and served as catalysts and guides for her personal journey. The family scenes ranged from tense to celebratory to humorous, and it was with them supporting her, that Nevaeh made such huge leaps and bounds towards figuring out her complex identity.

Overall: A beautiful and thought-provoking look at one young woman's search to understand who she was, what she believed, and where she belonged.

“It’s hard to hear people imply that you can’t be who you know you are because your reality doesn’t jive with how they’ve been taught to see the world.”

There isn’t a person of color that can say they don’t understand this sentiment. Color Me In is such a necessary read for anyone that is interested in what it feels like to travel in spaces unsure of where you belong and/or fit in. Too white for some folks and too brown for others, it’s a story that many can relate to.

“I want to make a person feel so loved that they aren’t afraid to share everything, even the ugly, dirty parts of life that no one wants to admit.”

The good mark of fiction is one that forces you take a step back and reflect on your own life. Diaz might be a debut author but she has mastered what so many veterans have failed to do. Color Me In hits on all cylinders. It contains race issues, class issues, religious differences, family dynamics, and love. But, the most important facet of Color Me In is the journey that one must take to say, “this is me and you will accept me for who I am!”

I don’t do this too often but this is a book that I definitely recommend for others to read!

Semi-autobiographical account from debut author Natasha Diaz follows the life of Nevaeh as she is dealing with the extreme fallout from the divorce of her parents and the difficulties of trying to find her identity as a biracial teen. She is too white living with her family in Harlem, but then too black for her private school and her Jewish roots. After all these years of quietly blending in with the crowd, Neveah is speaking up and using her voice for good.

A lot of times with main characters you can see their faults and recognize when they've handed a situation poorly, but this girl was continually being walked over by everyone in her life. I felt so angry for her! I wanted to scream into this book. Everyone thought they knew what was best for Neveah, without even consulting her about it first. The author did a fantastic job with character progression—not only with Neveah, but also with other minor characters like her cousins and crush, but especially her mother.

 My one issue with this book is pretty big ,but not big enough for me to not have liked the book as is: part of me wishes this was split into two books. There was so much back and forth between the two sides of the family, without them interacting, that I think the two storylines were strong enough to standalone. It would allow readers to go deeper into  both sides of Neveah’s life. It doesn't even have to be about the same girl, I just can see two books: one detailing a biracial girl discovering things about her mother and her mother's side of the family AND another book about a biracial girl getting in touch with her Jewish family and having a belated bat mitzvah. 

I really, really enjoyed this book and thought Neveah was a wonderful protagonist that I was constantly rooting for.

ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is one of those super timely books that deals with such important themes, but I'm worried that it tried to deal with too many at the same time.

Don't get me wrong, this book hit a deep part of me. I, too, can relate to having a garbage father who cheats nonstop. I can relate to not really having a space to fit in (despite being an average cis white girl in a rural area). Plus it's all so well-written!

Neveah deals with so much crap at her private school, it's ridiculous. I was amazed so much went unchallenged. Her cousin Jordan challenges Neveah's lack of challenging, basically calling her complacent since she's white-passing.

Neveah's own father is so shockingly racist. He always seems to conveniently forget that his own daughter is black. But he still pretty much forces her to go through with a belated bat mitzvah.

The only characters I truly enjoyed were Jesus, Neveah's boyfriend, and Rabbi Sarah. Despite that, I still really enjoyed the story. It fits perfectly within our current political climate, but everything still turns out okay. Plus I loved that we get to read Neveah's own poems, as they provide more insight to her feelings.

A well-written story that fits so well in our current climate, I give Color Me In 4 out of 5 sour Jelly Bellies.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Nevaeh is caught between two worlds, literally. Her parents have recently separated, causing her to have to split her time between her mother’s family in her grandfather’s brownstone in Harlem and her childhood home with her father in White Plains. Not only is she shuttling between the two homes, but suddenly she’s caught in the middle of a war she didn’t even realize existed. While her cousins and aunt are exposing her to her Black heritage and her mother has completely checked out of parenting and life itself, suddenly her father takes an interest in making sure she knows she’s Jewish as well. This doesn’t come from his desire to share his heritage with her, but rather prevent her from becoming a “black girl” since it’s clear he’s never seen her as one thanks to her fair-skinned complexion. To combat the influence of her Black Baptist family, he insists that she begin taking Hebrew lessons and prepare for her Bat Mitzvah, which is coming about 3 years too late since she’s turning 16 in a few months. As if this weren’t enough, her cousin Jordan is constantly reminding her that she doesn’t exactly belong in the Black community, at least from Nevaeh’s point of view, and it only gets worse when Neveah attracts the attention of Jordan’s crush Jesus. All of these events begin to swirl around Neveah in a way that suffocates her and the only way she can find solace is in the poetry she writes and her mother’s journal, which she discovers in her grandfather’s attic.

First off, I think it’s important for me to say that I absolutely loved this book. It wasn’t perfect and it certainly isn’t my story or experience, but it’s clear that the author put her own story, heart, and soul into this. You have to have a level of respect for someone willing to be that vulnerable in their work.

Second, I want to say that it’s clear along the way that Nevaeh is an unreliable narrator. Her experience is certainly hers and so the way she sees her mother, her cousins, her best friend and her new life in Harlem, is clearly biased. She’s never been confronted with her blackness or her privilege before by other black people or people of color and it puts her on the defense. She’s willing to swap places with those around her in an attempt to be accepted and have what she thinks is an easier life, but doesn’t exactly understand that her darker skinned family members or her best friend, who is also biracial (Chinese and white) have their own trials and tribulations because of the color of their skin as well. It’s not just her and it’s a lesson that she has trouble learning.

While it’s clear that Nevaeh is seeing her mom and black family members in a bit of a skewed light because of her experiences and insecurities, I think that for the first time in her life, she’s actually seeing her father very clearly. She’s realizing what a selfish and destructive man he actually is. I have to say that the scenes with her father were some of the most frustrating ones because he was just completely trash. Every self serving, ignorant white man who thinks he’s a savior can be seen in Nevaeh’s father. That’s clear through her mother’s journal and Nevaeh’s on experiences with him as the book progresses.

The other extremely frustrating piece of this book was the racism that Nevaeh faced at school, but let’s be honest, that was done on purpose. There’s one particular white girl at her school who says the most revolting things and I swear I just wanted someone to do serious bodily harm to her just to shut her up. Please watch out for that and protect yourself because when I say phrases like “nappy headed” and “thug” and “ghetto” are thrown around by the white characters in this book, I’m not kidding. It’s all done to show that despite the fact that Nevaeh is technically “passing”, anyone who knows her actual heritage makes it clear that it’s unacceptable and that even people who are “passing” experience racism from their white peers.

I won’t give away too much more about the book, though I will say that her mother’s journal depicts sexual assault so be careful of that if it’s triggering for you.

All in all, I think that Nevaeh’s story was a great one. She was frustrating, sometimes selfish and at times just plain ignorant, but as we move through this transition in her life with her, she begins to learn not only what it means to be Jewish, but a black woman in America as well. I think one of my favorite things about this book is that though there’s romance in it, it doesn’t overpower the rest of the story, but serves as just another new discovery and aspect in Nevaeh’s life.

Please be sure to go pick up Color Me In by Natasha Diaz when it’s released on August 20th and let me know what you think!

This is a debut definitely worth reading. This book tackles race and other topics facing our society today. While there's not really a 'plot' each of the characters has their own thing going and aren't depending on the MC. The pacing is also a bit slow, but worth the wait. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and would definitely like to read the authors next book.

Thank you, NetGalley for the opportunity to read/review this book in exchange for an honest review.

DNF 43% - I was super into this book when I started it, but after the story really got going, I found myself disliking just about every character. I thought the premise of having Neveah find her mother's journal was interesting, but the journal entries didn't sound at all like journal entries. Perhaps the author should've had a split perspective book instead of trying to use journal entries, because that's how it read. In the end, I set the book down and had no desire to pick it up again.

You know when you read those contemporaries that you don't expect to relate to on a heart aching level, but they just surprise you in so many ways? That was Color Me In for me.

I requested this book from Netgalley for 1. that beautiful cover and 2. because I think it is important to keep my reading diverse and read ownvoices stories from many different kinds of people. Color Me In follows a mixed race Jewish-African American girl in high school who's parents have just separated. The book is about her journey finding where she fits in in all the different aspects of her life, coming to terms with her parents not being exactly who she thought they were, friendship, and first love.

I was hooked on this story from the very beginning. I've never experienced a lot of the things Nevaeh experiences in this book, but I immediately related to her problems with her parents. I don't think I have ever read a book about someone who's parents are currently going through a divorce and it just continued to pull at my heart strings in a very validating way. We love getting validation from books. That was, of course, not the only thing I adored about this book.

I cannot believe this was a debut. The writing was just absolutely exquisite. It had such a good pace and I loved the way the chapters were set up. There was always something happening in the plot. Sometimes it felt like there was so much at once, but I thought it was done very well and that is very realistic for the mind of a high school girl. My only issue with this book is I felt the main antagonists were a bit too one note and could have been fleshed out a little more. Sometimes these high school girls just felt like super villains and I think some more development from those characters would have been amazing to the plot.

Overall, I just really loved this book and I highly recommend it.

3.5 stars.

The messages in this book are powerful; I have so much respect for the courage it takes to not only write about such personal experiences, but to put them out into the world.

I really enjoyed the premise, catching Nevaeh in a pivotal period of her life. And I really, really wanted to sympathize with her, because she finds herself in some pretty tough circumstances. Being a teenager — trying to figure out how to be a good friend and family member and person; figuring out what you want to do in life and where you fit into the world; etc. — is hard enough without the social/societal isolation and privilege-based guilt Nevaeh struggles with.

But for the vast majority of the book, she's incredibly judgmental of other people and focuses on how their problems/wants inconvenience her; she actively and repeatedly chooses to do things that are inconsiderate and/or selfish.

This is a narrative about personal growth, so this depiction is understandable and definitely believable, but it was so frustrating to read.

I also wasn't really a fan of Nevaeh's writing. (The preface calls it poetry, but I don't know if it's intended to be; if it is, it's a very free-verse style without rhyme schemes or, as far as I could tell, any kind of meter.) I appreciate these passages' contribution to the themes of identity and of speaking out, but to be quite honest I skimmed them.

All that said, the #ownvoices rep and social themes of this book come through clearly, and there are some wonderful bonding moments. Nevaeh's personal journey is profound — and I don't think anyone could come away from this book without learning a thing or two.

Color Me In is an exploration of identity and family through the eyes of a teen biracial girl who passes as white. Nevaeh is a biracial Jewish teen who is living with her mom's side of the family for the first time after her parents separate. Her black cousins point out that Nevaeh benefits from white privilege and can't relate to the daily racism they face. Nevaeh is trying to figure out how she fits into her mother's Jamaican family after spending more time with her father's white and Jewish family. Unlike her cousins, Nevaeh attends a private school and has had far more opportunities, and she's starting to recognize that.

This book tackles internalized racism, identity, and family politics. Nevaeh often feels stuck between the two identities her parents want her to have. Nevaeh struggles to release herself from the strict "black or white" labels that society wants to place on her. I loved that this book confronts the binary system and allows for the main character to express her identity in the way that she wants to.

This is also an exceptional title for teens who are dealing with parents that are currently separating. Nevaeh has to witness the entire messy uncoupling and she has a lot of emotions along the way. The author explores the expansion of family that can happen during a divorce.

thank you to netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

3.5 stars

I don’t know where to start honestly. This book was... a lot to say the least.

It was a story packed full of harsh realities and brutal truths about life, especially about the lives of people of color.

The story follows Navaeh, a half Jewish and half black young woman who we follow in her journey of finding her voice and trying to learn what to do with it. She expresses her thoughts and emotions through writing and when she starts to express herself, her entire demeanor changes. And so does the story.

What was difficult for me was the characters; mostly the fact that I could not connect with them At. All. Most of them were literally the worst and reading about them gave me physical hives. Navaeh’s dad? Trash. Abby? Trash. Ashleigh? Trash. And half of the time, Navaeh was trash too. But I do like how realistic it was that when she finally stood up for herself, it was almost too much. As if finding her voice unbalanced her and she changed from a quiet, reserved girl to a selfish, attention seeking, and almost narcissistic person.

I loved the writing of this novel, as I am a sucker for different writing styles weaves into the story (in this case, free verse writing and poems) to add more to the novel as a whole. I felt every punch and kick of emotion behind every word of Natasha Diaz’s and I loved it. I think this by far was my favorite aspect of the story.

There is a lot of heaviness to this story though to the point where it was almost suffocating. But I kind of expected that seeing as this is a kind of autobiographical tale. Still, I felt emotionally exhausted after reading this.

Overall, a wonderful story and I would definitely recommend it to people! Especially, if you find yourself in Navaeh’s shoes of being lost in your own identity.

trigger warnings: intense bullying, racism, sexual harassment, racist assault

This is an OWNVOICES book, everyone!!!

I flew right through COLOR ME IN. I even forgot to eat at one point and I wondered why I felt so weak. This is a story mixed-race girl learning where she fits in. We navigate through two different cultures as our protagonist as she wanders through heartbreak and joy. This book pulled me into Naveah's world. We really see how she grows. This book is definitely going to change its readers. A great debut of 2019!!

It took me a little while to get into this book, but once I did I really enjoyed it. I felt that some pieces of the novel were disconnected - the relationship between Neveah and Jesus could have been a little more fleshed out before the last few chapters, and I would have liked to know more about Rabbi Sarah - but I really got sucked into the story at the end. Neveah was at times a frustrating protagonist, but it did feel like a good encapsulation of a teenager. Overall, I would recommend this book. It's thoughtful and will make you think about how you fit in in your world.

If the #ownvoices literary movement needs a mascot to provide proof that these books are not only necessary but some of the best books readers will get their desperate hands on, I nominate this one for the running. With that authentic look at race found in the works of Angie Thomas and the poetic and powerful prose of Elizabeth Acevado, Color Me In is a novel that will capture readers hearts and minds instantly. As a child of a multicultural home myself (Puerto Rican and Jewish, which was pretty close to the main character's Jamaican and Jewish roots) I loved the opportunity to read a narrative that echoed a lot of the thoughts cycling through my own mind during high school.

I hope to see Natasha Diaz's name on many more YA novels to come.

Color me In was an important and well written book about a teenager who is biracial from both black and Jewish background, who “passes” as white. She has to deal with all the racial stereotyping that is done throughout her life but then her parents decide to divorce as well which adds another dimension to her turmoil.
I appreciated the various points of view that the author incorporated into the narrative to help enhance the story.

I would recommend this book.

#ColorMeIn NetGelley

COLOR ME IN review notes thing:

I was initially interested in Color me In for the Jewish rep and the themes of “where do I belong” and “am I enough to claim this” because those are things I’ve experienced, especially as I’ve tried to be closer to my own Jewish identity coming from a dual-faith household and having my Jewishness come from my dad (Jewish identity is usually traced matrilineally).

From the very first scene, this book is full of emotional gut punches and powerful, important observations. Nevaeh has trouble connecting to her Black identity because she has lighter skin, and growing up her mom kind of lost contact with most of her family when she married Nevaeh’s dad, so growing up in a predominantly white community and going to a predominately white school, she doesn’t feel comfortable claiming her Blackness in several ways. This isn’t a topic I feel is my place to speak on, as a white person, but I do wanna say the emotional labor her cousin and aunt gives to her to make her more aware of how being lighter skinned makes some things easier than it is for them really stands out to me. Nevaeh talks about never claiming Black as part of her identity until Hanukkah dinner with her dad and his new girlfriend when Ashleigh makes derisive and dismissive comments about a BLM rally blocking traffic, and Nevaeh reveals she’ll be preforming a poem at a rally against police brutality because she’s one of those Black kids.

Nevaeh’s parents are separated, apparently as a result of her father cheating, and her mother is depressed which makes it difficult for her to be there and parent her daughter. Her father suddenly decides that, instead of a sweet sixteen, Nevaeh should have a belated bat mitzvah in the hopes it’ll bring her closer to her Jewish identity, especially living with her Baptist minister grandfather.

Nevaeh finds her mother’s old journal and begins reading the entries in an attempt to better understand her, and that added layer to the storytelling really adds nuance to Corinne and the ghost of her we see currently. I really like and appreciate that when Corinne starts going to therapy, she tells Nevaeh it, though the way it came out wasn’t the best because Corinne wasn’t necessarily in control of the conversation. When Corinne is able to control the conversation, she explains she had planned to tell Nevaeh about the therapy after a few sessions and that it is helping her, and that kind of candidness is wonderful to see.

Sometimes I had trouble parsing the pacing of events, though that could be due to reading an advance copy.

In a lot of ways this is a story of Nevaeh making a mess and learning she isn’t the center of the universe and her problems aren’t the only ones. She has a tendency towards selfishness, but no more than is normal because at 15-16 it’s sometimes hard to remember your experiences aren’t the only ones happening.

I adore the friendship between Nevaeh and Stevie. There are some major bumps and big fights between them over the course of this book, but their friendship is so strong. I especially love a line where Nevaeh describes their love as being outside the confines of romance, but also being deeper than friendship. They have such a good bond, I’m so glad they find their way back to each other.

This book is very much a look at multiracial and multicultural upbringing and the ways it’s hard to define self but also recognize privilege when dealing with internal and external conflicts. Nevaeh is trying to define herself, and along the way she hurts and hurts those she cares about, but this is ultimately a story of her personal growth. Nevaeh learns better to listen and to give up space so others can speak and have their voices uplifted, which is hard at times when she is finally learning how to use her own voice.

This book was utterly phenomenal on so many levels and I can not recommend it enough.

A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me in exchange for an honest review.
DNF at 41%. The writing was typical and bland, and the characters seemed 2D. Every character had their struggles, but everything was told rather than shown. It's like everything I read was a collection of thoughts and moments, but it didn't form a complete story. I still can't really gather a plot after completing nearly half the book. I eventually couldn't take it anymore and had to put this one down.