As readers can tell from the cover, which looks somewhat like a horror novel, this story from Urban Fantasy author, Kim Harrison, is not part of the Hollows series. It is part psychological thriller and part paranormal…maybe. This complex tale centers on Meg, an artist struggling with some psychological issues that have their roots in a tragic incident three years before involving her boyfriend, Austin and the loss of her mother. Panic attacks are her daily companions. She is desperate to get her life back so when her therapist offers a new, experimental drug, Meg is all in. At the same time that she starts the medication, two people enter Meg’s attenuated life offering a way to make major changes and possibly become whole again.

Meg latches on to the enigmatic Haley and her handsome “roommate” who are everything she wants to be: confident, charismatic, and with lives full of color. Though an artist and university instructor, Meg has been living a monochrome life in a brown cave of an apartment with most of her freedom from dark emotions squelched. She is very tired of being a captive to her depression and anxieties.

Readers will puzzle over what is real and what is an illusion right along with Meg. Is it the drug, or some supernatural forces at work? Is she a reliable or unreliable narrator? Austin worries that Meg is changing at a light sped while she enthusiastically embraces her new found liberties and abilities brought on by a combination of the drug and her two new friends. I suspect fans who lean more towards the paranormal genre will see it that way while those prefer psychological mindbenders will see it the opposite: everything is a construct in Meg’s head. This book will leave you to draw your own conclusions. It is definitely a brain teaser of a tale that raises as many questions as it answers.

Meg is placed on a trial experimental psychiatric medication, whose aim is to allow her to experience emotions that she was previously numb to in effort to effectively deal with them. The side effects to this medication are plentiful and may be permanent. As a mental health professional, I was frustrated that such a medication was given on an outpatient basis when clearly, it would be more safely monitored in an inpatient setting. It was frightening to think that a patient was allowed to spiral out of control in a situation in which she was a danger to herself and others. It was horrifying to think that professionals and pharmaceutical companies would endanger participants in the trial and put the public at risk. Readers are teased with a supernatural element and may wonder if an alternate reality exists or is it mental illness. Actually, an alternate reality may be better than the one Meg faces. This book was polarizing and thought provoking! I read a free ARC of this book on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Meg wants to overcome her crippling anxiety and depression which took hold after her mother's death and her boyfriend, Austin, is supportive of her. Her therapist starts her on a trial drug what is supposed to cement new patterns in her brain. Or so she says

The pills help her and within days she has met a new friend, been stalked by a crazy man telling her that her friend isn't real and that the pills will put her in danger. Along with a shady FBI guy who keeps popping up trying to find said crazy man.

Her boyfriend is also telling her something is wrong with the pills and the doctor and her, but she is too determined to take the art world by storm and be accepted by her new friends. 

The friends were so creepy I knew they weren't real. This is Kim Harrison so the fey were bound to be caught up in this.

I'm not sure if it was meant to be just a shorter story or there is more to come, but the ending was abrupt and did not leave me satisfied.

Netgalley/March 31st 2019 by Subterranean Press

I received an ARC of this book to read through NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.

This review isn't going to be long. I'm not a huge fan of a review rehashing the entire plot and spoiling it for everyone.

I was surprised at the story. There were many unexpected twists. I was riveted. I hope this is the start of a series, if so I'll be happy.

I loved it! This author is one of my favorites. The story is tense and you can feel a wrongness simmering beneath the surface but can't figure out what it is. It was well past halfway when things were revealed and then everything made sense. I should have realized sooner but I didn't expect it at all. It was fantastic! I ordered a hardcover and I can't wait to hold it in my hands.