Unfortunately, I did not like this one as much as I anticipated. The characters felt a little too one-dimensional, and I found myself skimming some of this one.

I enjoyed this book. The protagonist Richard is a struggling writer and a gay man trying to find a companion. When he finds companionship with an unlikely person - a classmate named Anne, he must figure out what he really wants. A date that went poorly with Blake resurfaces and he’s left with more confusion.

The writing is smart and funny and it was out of my genre comfort but I greatly enjoyed it. It was an interesting look into a world very different than mine, but it reminded me of being younger and in a similar situation. I’d recommend this book to a friend!

DNF at 25%

Others will love it, but this book and I were not a good match.

I could not xonnect with the characyers, and the relationships gelt weird

I had to DNF this book after a few hours trying to get past the first 20%. The story seemed nice, but the characters felt bland, and I couldn't keep myself interested enough in what was happening to them. I might not be the target audience, though, as the writing wasn't bad at all - just not entertaining for me.

Going Dutch is a lovely story of friendship, love, and modern times. It's insightful, and shows an interesting take on the gay man/ female friend dynamic. I look forward to reading more by this author.

I struggled a bit with this one, but that is because you get to see the disappointing sides of human nature.

Going Dutch by James Gregor, tells the story of Richard, a gay, struggling PhD student in New York City. It certainly shows a different side of the “gay best friend” that heterosexual women love to have in their lives. While Richard struggles both professionally and in his personal relationships, he leans on his friend Anne. Anne has struggles of her own, but is financially secure through the assistance of her parents. Together they form a symbiotic relationship, both filling in the holes for companionship and security. Of course, as it happens, Richard does meet someone, and he has to decide between fulfilling his desires for a relationship with a man, and his desire to be financially and academically secure with Anne.

*Many thanks to the publisher for providing my review copy via NetGalley.

Unfortunately Going Dutch was not the book for me. This book surrounds the twenty-something dating crowd. This takes you on a tour of online dating, which I personally detest. The reference "going dutch" seemed to be the centerpiece, but wow this was completely absurd at times. I feel old writing this review, but this is simply something I just don't care about at least not to this extent.


The story centers around a scholar Richard who is struggling with writing, who gets help from Anne to reignite his vision. The relationship becomes somewhat co-dependent and very misleading. Richard is gay and Anne is not and she loves or is obsessed with Richard. Richard dates online and meets Blake and they start a relationship. It leads to a very uncomfortable scene with all three.


I hate to write negative reviews, but this book was complete nonsense to me. I am sure there is a place for this book in the world, but not with this 40-something woman.


Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for an Advanced Reader's Copy of this book for an honest review.

For probably the first time in my life, I did not finish a book. I was so interested by the premise and was dying to read a few more LGBTQ stories about grown adults, since I primarily read YA, but this fell flat for me. I actually fell asleep at around 15% and didn't feel compelled to pick it back up. I could tell very early that I wasn't going to like the Richard/Anne dynamic, as he constantly complained about her but felt there was no harm in using her to further his academic goals. The vast majority of my dislike came from the writing style, as every thought in Richard's head has this air of pretentiousness that made me roll my eyes a few times. I was first introduced to that style when I read Sweetbitter and I... hated that book. I'm sure this book will find its audience, but I'm not it. Star rating is for the portion of the book I read.

I really wanted to like this and the premise of it sounded so great, but it was just a struggle for me. The story centers around Richard, a gay graduate student living living and trying to date in NYC. Unfortunately, to me, he just embodied everything about the millennial generation that I have a really hard time relating to and due to that, he felt very unlikable to me. I could not stand that way he complained about his friend Anne, but then continued to use her for his own benefit. It was very hard for me to get through. Thank you to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the ARC.

Going Dutch is the most accurate book I've read about what it's actually like to be in grad school.

It tells the story of Richard, a scholar of the humanities, as he struggles to finish his thesis. He deals with all of the real things that often get left out of fiction about students: the meagre pay, the ever-looming pressure to complete competent work, and—most importantly—the disgusting need to compare ourselves to our peers, who always seem better off, more capable, and well-adjusted. This dissatisfaction with himself is what leads Richard on his spiral in Going Dutch.

He is surrounded by people that seem to have it all together, while he struggles to put together the paper he needs to submit in order to gain the funds to stay afloat in NYC. His best friend seems to have it all figured out, has a steady boyfriend and plans to move to the west coast. His colleague and friend with benefits, Anne, comes from money and seems to navigate academia with ease. Even his peripheral friends are easing into careers, families, and stability—things Richard isn't even sure that he wants, yet. When his stream of casual online dating disappointments finally leads him to Blake, a committed man with a career and hopes for a family of his own, Richard must grapple with his own insecurities and desires to decide what he really needs in life.

It is this sense of uncertainty that drives most of Richard's decisions and that causes him to be both an unlikable character and a relatable character. There are moments it seems that he deliberately self-sabotages, moments where he is harsh and petty, and moments where he does the objectively wrong thing. But people do those things. I do those things. So, yes, Richard is frustrating, but he is also very real.

The writing in this novel is satisfying and funny. Richard's voice is true to what I would expect from a NYC grad student, humorous and pretentious if even as a shield to deflect from any perceivable shortcomings. At times he is cynical but others empathetic and open. The other characters around him are also flawed, but human and tied to their own morals and dreams. Going Dutch presents a complete and breathing world around Richard in NYC, and it is a treat to read.

.Richard is a single gay man living in New York City in graduate school for Medieval Italian Literature. Suffering from writer’s block and on the verge of being unable to meet the requirements to continue his studies, Richard turns to his classmate, Anne, for help. Not only is Anne hardworking and intelligent, but she also has a lot of money, enough to take Richard on extravagant dates. Their relationship is more than a friendship, but neither seem to have the same idea about it. When a lawyer named Blake starts to have a relationship with Richard himself, the situations becomes more complicated.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to make of this novel going in. It sounded like an updated take on the love triangle, maybe this was a scathing critique of modern dating, it could be a Pygmalion/She’s All That story with a brilliant transformation in the middle. It was none of these. If I were to hand this novel to you, I would warn you that you won’t like any of the characters. They’re all kind of selfish, petty, lost, and really just unlikeable, especially Richard. You’re not supposed to like them, and that’s the point, but the book holds back from going far enough where it’s fun to unlike them. Instead it’s kind of just boring at times, like the boring characters. However, the book is really well written and is compelling despite the boring characters. There are also some brilliantly crafted scenes that made me laugh out loud, a rarity for a book. I didn’t love this book but I didn’t hate it. I find the new ennui of the next generation. It reminded me a lot of Sally Rooney in many ways.

Richard is fundamentally a sad sack of a human, but I did feel for him a little while I wanted to slap him. I thought the relationships at the center of the book were interesting and not often explored in novels. If you like Normal People by Sally Rooney, I think you should give this a shot.

I did not finish Going Dutch. I enjoyed Richard as a character and I enjoyed the writing style but other than that, everything fell flat and felt extremely dull and I couldn't manage to keep going. I'd be interested in reading more of Gregor's writing because I really did like his style but this book didn't do it for me.

This book was interesting and totally not interesting at the same time.

The interesting part was reading about dating in the gay community, the not interesting part were the characters; I did not connect with a single one of them.

Truly wanted to like this book, but not connecting with any of the characters made it quite bland.

The writing, though, was good.

Thank you for the copy of the book to review. I want to start out by saying that I LOVE the cover. I read this book while traveling mostly in rural America. I do not think this book is for everyone. I think this book definitely has a niche audience. But, if you live an a major metropolitan area you know these people or know of these people. James Gregor sets up the characters nicely, and I appreciate the story, but for the first time since I left New York, it made me happy not to live in the City. Reading this book was like going to brunch with "that friend' everyone has: You've rescheduled a couple of times, you make sure it's bottomless, and you avoid the second location. You know you will listen more than talk, but when it's done you be relieved to hop in your uber and head home.

Going Dutch is James Gregor's first novel; therefore, I am generous with my rating of three stars. I fell in love with the premise of this book from the synopsis, but unfortunately for me, it fell short. Some will say that this book was well written and I will agree to a certain extent. My problem with Mr. Gregor's writing was that at times it seemed forced. I felt that he was trying to use every unusual word he could from his vast vocabulary. However, it became stilted and tedious, and I found myself skimming to get past the third person haranguing.

The story in and of itself is a good one; gay millennials trying to survive the modern online dating scene to find "the one." The problem for me was; there was not one main character I liked. Richard, our protagonist, is a thirty-something gay man pursuing his doctorate in medieval Italian literature, who has a severe case of writer's block. I found him to be shallow, self-centered, whiney, and insipid character with no redeeming qualities. 

Anne is a straight, affluent, wickedly astute doctoral student in medieval literature. Anne pursues Richard, knowing that he is gay, and does not return her feelings. Richard is in love with Patrick, a long-time friend, and fellow doctoral student, who does not return his romantic feelings. As readers, we are constantly subjected to Richard's ramblings on how perfect Patrick is and how he is undeserving of Patrick's friendship. Throughout the book, Richard puts up with anything and everything to keep their friendship intact. As Richard becomes more and more lost, he leads Anne on and begins a romantic-like relationship with her. Richard also slyly enlists Anne's "help" with not only his writer's block but also to subsidize his pathetic financial situation. Is Richard genuinely confused about his sexuality, is he using Anne or both? You will have to make that decision. If all of that's not bad enough, he meets Blake, a successful lawyer, and starts a romantic relationship with him too. Richard is continually finding fault with both of his relationships. It seems that nothing can make this man happy. What these two seemingly intelligent people saw in Richard I have no idea. 


There were a few parts of the book that I did appreciate. I enjoyed the intellectual, amusing, and suggestive banter between Patrick and Richard's friends. That only happened when I could get past Richard’s whimpering about his life and how he felt they were all judging him. Also, I liked Anne's two roommates; they were perfect and hysterical. My favorite part of the book was when the Blake, Anne, and Richard accidentally ended up going to lunch together, just priceless! In the end, I believe that only one person in this trio found what they desired.


***I kindly received this galley by way of NetGalley/publisher/author. I was not contacted, asked, or required to leave a review. I received no compensation, financial or otherwise. I have voluntarily read this book, and this review is my honest opinion .***

2.5 stars.

There's often a tremendous amount of anxiety around being single. No one wants to be alone, especially when it seems as if all of their friends are coupling (or even throupling). But when date after date seems to go nowhere, how do we handle our feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, and fear that we're destined to spend the rest of our lives by ourselves?

This is just one of the crises plaguing Richard, the protagonist of James Gregor's debut novel, Going Dutch.

In addition to unrequited love for his flaky best friend, and a string of bad dates from dating apps, Richard is dealing with significant writer's block on his graduate thesis, which he must continue to make progress on or he'll lose his fellowship, which covers his tuition and living expenses. Certainly the fear of losing his funding and having to drop out of school should motivate him, but he can't seem to move forward.

When Anne, one of his classmates, offers to "help" Richard overcome his writer's block by writing his papers, it proves both a solution and a dilemma. All Anne really seems to want is his companionship, and her lifestyle is far more opulent than Richard's, so it seems like a fairly easy decision. His conscience nags him from time to time that he's actually committing academic dishonesty, but Anne doesn't seem particularly interested in his contributions, and she doesn't seem to mind doing the work.

The lifeline she throws him becomes a bit more complicated, however, as her desire for his company grows. She knows he is gay, but she's not interested at all in that aspect of his life. She wants more and more of his time, and doesn't like when she's not his singular focus. Richard can't exactly pinpoint how he feels about her—he's not romantically interested in her, but there's something about her he finds appealing.

"Anne's energy was jarring but invigorating, an inconclusive mix of maturity and immaturity. She was like a child let loose in the restraint and focus of an adult. But she was also like a mother who hands you a heavy towel and squeezes you after you've wrapped it around your shoulders, telling you to dry your hair because you lose heat through your head. At odd moments he found himself enchanted."

Things get more complicated when Blake, a lawyer with whom Richard had one frustrating date, suddenly reappears and is very interested in him. Richard is excited about the prospect of a relationship he has longed for, but how can he balance his desire to be with Blake with his obligation to spend time with Anne, given the academic hold she has over him?

Going Dutch definitely raises some interesting questions and provides timely social commentary on dating in the gay community. I just really didn't enjoy this book because I found every single one of the characters completely off-putting. While Gregor provides some insight into Richard's psyche, he is so manipulative and unappealing that I didn't much care what happened to him, and I felt the same way about Anne, Blake, Patrick, even Anne's periodic roommates.

I liked the way Gregor writes, but this book just didn't work for me, perhaps because I've known people whose behaviors and actions resemble those of some of the characters.

NetGalley and Simon & Schuster provided me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!

This book publishes August 20, 2019.

Going Dutch tells the story of a dysfunctional love triangle set in the modern world of online dating, fluid sexuality, and academia. Richard is a too-smart-for-his-own-good graduate student who is struggling with his finances and writer's block. Enter Anne, a depressed well-to-do woman who has as much insecurity as she does money. Richard basically uses Anne to finance his lifestyle. Then he becomes romantically involved with Blake, an actor/attorney, even while he continues to allow Anne to believe their relationship is going somewhere.

So, I've read the other reviews of this book, and I find it very interesting that people harbor so much dislike for this novel. Everyone seems to dislike the three main characters, especially the protagonist, Richard. I agree--Richard is not particularly likable. If I were to encounter someone like this in real life, I would run in the other direction. However, he makes a rather fascinating character study. He's selfish and pretentious, but I don't feel the author was trying to ignore those negative qualities; rather, he was trying to expose the ugly reality of a certain segment of the millennial culture, much as Lena Dunham did in the HBO show Girls.

The writing in this book is top-notch. Even if you don't like the characters, you can't deny that the prose is gorgeous. It's been a long time since I've had to stop for a moment to take in the lovely imagery of a book. The author is obviously talented. His writing reminded me of Lionel Shriver, another somewhat controversial writer who is often accused of writing about horrible people. But I love Lionel Shriver's writing, so maybe that's why I responded so favorably to this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and Simon & Schuster in exchange for my honest review.

This book was a HUGE disappointment. I couldn't even come remotely close to finishing the book because of how much I hated the main character. He was so whiny and annoying that eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. I made it less than 20% through the book before I just had to give up and move on to something else. I hardly ever rate books 1 star, but sadly this was one of them. Don't waste your time on this book. Trust me.

*I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks for the free book.*

Richard is a bisexual 20-something grad student lagging behind on deadlines for his doctorate at uni. Living in New York, feeling lonely, and struggling with writer's block, he is befriended his brilliant fellow scholar Anne. She helps him with his papers, takes him to expensive restaurants and they become sort of lovers. Sort of, because Richard is an absolut idiot and incredibly unlikeable. He is like Hamlet, unable to make a decision, but so much more whiney about everything. Anne is also a controlling, manipulative and insufferably annoying character, buying attention and sex in exchange for her help.

When he meets Blake the lawyer via a dating app, he starts to lead two lives, *SPOILER* culminating in Richard promising to both Blake and Anne that they'd move in together. Madness and chaos is about to unfold and Richard will still think he's the victim and the good guy in all of this. It's terrible and oddly satisfying to see how a character walks into his doom with his eyes wide open...

Yet many of Richard's problems rang true for me, especially in connection to post-grad life at university, lack of motivation and financial pressures. The novel was also well written and I read it fairly quickly...the story unfolded and you keep watching even though you know an accident is about to happen. It also made me nervous and unhappy in many instances because I was far too emotionally involved and got angry about Richard...

3 Stars because Richard is an insufferable asshole and he doesn't deserve that ending.

I received this as an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

While Gregor's writing is very eloquent and honestly very engaging, the protagonist of this book ruined it for me. Richard was very unlikeable and strung along Anne for his own selfish means. I found it very hard to get past this and disliked the book immensely because of this character.