It only took about five pages for me to be hooked on this novel. The introduction of both characters instantly made me curious about them; and that increased steadily.

There's been a beating. There's been a stabbing. Nate and Cam have ended up across from each other in a deposition because of the violence that has erupted in their lives. Through the course of his deposition, Nate slowly unravels the events leading up to the violence.

Nate and Cam seem very different, but they connected quickly when they first met. Their friendship begins with a night of talking about everything: religion, families, relationships and science. They fall asleep lying on the trampoline staring up the stars and it seems like Nate feels free and unfettered for the first time in his life.

This isn't an ordinary book, it's not an ordinary tale. Nate is struggling with his "parents"… his father and his Aunt who swooped in when his Mom died. She's controlling, relentless and abusive and his father is absent at best. So, Nate's friendships are important, perhaps the only thing that keep him tethered.

But he's not struggling solely with his home life, he's struggling with his feelings for Cam. During an ill-fated New Year's Eve party, Nate and Cam share a sexual experience that short-circuits Nate's brain. He pushes Cam away because he's incapable of dealing with the emotion the encounter brings up. Nate has all the arguments for why it's wrong to feel anything for Cam…religion, he's straight, it's wrong, it's nothing.

Things begin to fall apart for Nate and then escalate, spiralling closer and closer to the final act of violence that will change everything between them forever. This story is a pretzel-twist of pleasure, exploration and fear of things that are too big to comprehend.

This is one of the most unique books I've read in a very long time. These characters are written so remarkably that I couldn't help feeling like I knew them… as though I'd been allowed a window to their minds.

The prose is sparing and yet beautiful. There are some lovely moments captured from the early days of friendship and the intensity of growing emotion. This story made me angry, and it made me cry and I would read it again in a heartbeat. There are twists, things that hurt because you just don't see them coming. And it's real… it's very real. This is young people being amazing and flawed and fucked up and perfect.

This book may not be for the faint of heart, but it should be read. This book should have the hell read out of it. I can't think of a better word to use but to continue to say how "real" this story is.

There aren't enough stars in the night sky to rate this book properly.

Disclaimer: I received an eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Deposing Nathan begins in conference room of a state’s attorney office. Nate had been involved in a fist-fight that led to his former best friend Cam stabbing him in the gut with a shard of ceramic.

Just how they got to that point is the question. While the book takes place over the course of just a few days, the back story takes up the course of nearly a year. The design of this book is unique; it goes back and forth between remembering that we are hearing Nate tell this story inside of the state’s attorney office and figuring out what exactly happened between him and Cam.

Nate and Cam met on the first day of Nate’s junior year (and Cam’s sophomore year) of high school. Cam is new to town, and Nate’s in an AP Bio class without any friends. Cam immediately befriends Nate, and the two begin a very complicated friendship.

We also learn a bit more about Nate’s home life. His mom died when he was around 7, and he is being raised by his dad who is gone frequently and his aunt (his mom’s sister) who seems to be a bit emotionally abusive. Cam’s home life is also complicated; his younger sister died when she was around 5, and his family is still dealing with that.

As time passes, Nate and Cam begin to change each other, but is all that change actually good?

Besides straight up amazing story-telling and excellence use of a non-linear plot device (think Sadie by Courtney Summers, with the podcast replaced for a conference room in the state’s attorney’s office), I love its nuanced discussion on sexuality especially with the Church.

Both Cam and Nate go to a Catholic school, but Nate is more of devout follower. As time goes on, Cam realizes that his sexuality isn’t as straight forward as he thought it was, and Nate begins to deal with with similar things. While there have been a few other novels (think Dress Codes for Small Towns by Courtney Stevens and Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruits by Jaye Robin Brown) dealing with the issues of sexuality and Christian beliefs in YA, this is something that’s not commonly explored in YA, and this is the first time that I saw the internal conflict between someone who so desperately believed in his faith and what the Church teaches versus what he feels. It’s something I am glad to see in YA because it’s needed.

This was an absolutely wonderful book, full of complexities and hope.

I absolutely LOVED this book. It's hard finding books with good representation of bisexual boys, and this one is really special. The mystery around why Nate and Cam go from best friends to enemies is engaging and I only realized where it was going right before the author revealed it himself. It was realistic in its ending, and I would definitely put this on a YA Pride display.

Thank you netgalley for my review copy of this book. Cameron is the new kid in school. He approaches Nate and asks him to be friends. From the start the 2 are inseparable. At a party on New Years Eve their friendship takes a turn into a new territory that Nate just isn’t ready to accept even though he shares Cameron’s feelings. And to complicate matters further there is Nate’s girlfriend to consider. How can he have these feelings if he is in love with her?

Between Nate not being able to accept his feelings and his aunt being a controlling lunatic, Nate and Cam’s relationship quickly becomes toxic. Now Nate is being deposed for a fight between the 2 boys that led to Nate being stabbed in the stomach. Everyone wants Nate to tell the story that will send Cameron to prison. But the story isn’t as simple or straightforward as it seems. Now Nate has to decide whether to own up to the events that led up to that night or let his best friend go to prison for something he may not be responsible for. How do you make a choice between your best friend that you love and your family who has always been there for you?

This book was a beautifully written and fantastic debut. It tackles so many important topics that kids and even adults face. We have a large number of people that come into my store asking for young adult books focusing on LGBT characters so I will definitely be recommending this title!

This book is a plot driven character study of what happens when love turns sour. It not the romantic love but the love parent for a child. These are stories that need to be told.

Disclaimer: I received this ARC courtesy of Page Street Kids through NetGalley. I am grateful for the opportunity to review an ARC for my readers, but this will not influence my final rating. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and based solely on the book. 

I don't know how to wrap my head around this book.

I wrote and re-wrote this review, but nothing sounded authentic. I felt like I was trying to make sense of a book that to me, was a wholly emotional journey. From the moment I started reading, I became a captive listener on Nate's journey, a young man who—from the moment Cam comes into his life—no longer knows what to think, but everything he feels is so strong and raw. 

What CAN I tell you about Deposing Nathan?

I was emotional from start to finish. Smedley brought me from laughing aloud to crying to full-blown frustration and anger then back around. I feel like it's an understatement to say that by the end of this book, I was thoroughly exhausted, but my mind was still going a mile a minute. 

Truly, the 400-pages of Deposing Nathan left me emotionally wrecked, but oh wow was that ending satisfying in the worst way. 

This book focused on themes of sexuality, religion, parent-child relationships, and friendships. Each one of these themes is explored so fully and realistically from a teenager's point of view. Nate is unapologetic about what he thinks, which can make him frustratingly annoying at times. There were several times in the book I objected strongly to his view points, but I could see at the same time how he was trying to learn. 

SEXUALITY: (disclaimer. i am not lgbtq+ and while i have an opinion on the representation in this book, i encourage you to seek the thoughts of lgbtq+ reviewers.) Deposing Nathan did a great job of bisexual rep. One character in the book rejects the idea of bisexual ("you think I'm half gay, half straight?") but is educated throughout the book. It's never a Sit Down and Learn About Bisexuals situation, but more a self-exploration which was more authentic to the character (and to how people learn in general). One of my favourite lines is when a character Googles a test to see if he is bisexual, and the only question is "I consider myself to be bisexual."

RELIGION: I did not know religion was going to be part of this book. I'm so glad it was though. Smedley added this whole conversation about God and sexuality that really made me think. (In my opinion, this aspect of the book is interesting for religious and non-religious readers alike.)

PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS: Okay but this was really well done? I ached inside reading the paragraphs between Nate and his Aunt Lori. There's a lot of emotional abuse and psychological abuse at first, which is the worst because people tend to brush it off like, "Everyone acts like this," and "it's normal." It's not! It's really not! 

CW: homophobic slurs, abuse, sexual activity

I wish I could pour my emotions out on screen and call it a review. Smedley so well handles the morally grey dynamics of a toxic relationship. An author to watch out for. 4.5 crowns. 

Blog Review [April 25]: https://bookprincessreviews.wordpress.com/
Goodreads Review [April 25]: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2697128767