I guess I didn’t need to read this one. Might not really be the target audience even though I don’t have kids.

"There's no good word in the English language for a woman who hasn't had children. Every term invokes what we're not, not who we are."

This was an interesting read about what life is like for women who either can't, won't, or do not want children. There are a plethora of reasons why a woman might be childless yet when it comes to society, it seems the only right answer is for women to either be thinking about having children, trying to have children, or they already have children. There is no easy answer as to why a woman doesn't have children but society has trained women to be ashamed of their answer no matter what it might be. I appreciated that this book took the focus off of women with children and instead focused on women and what life is/can be for childless women. There were several sections I found interesting including the sections on different health concerns for women who have had children and those who haven't, the legacy childless women leave behind, and just how much more money childless women make over the course of their careers.

There were definitely parts of this book that dragged but unfortunately, I think that is the case for most nonfiction I read. I found parts of this book better than others and while I'm glad I read it, I also don't know that I would go out of my way to recommend this book to others. It didn't provide me with enough new information that made me want to share this book.

TW: infertility discussed

**Thank you to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the advanced reader's copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Excellent book for the childfree set and what it means to not be a breeder in today's society.

Easy, fast read with some interesting stats and stories about childfree women, both by choice and by circumstance. The bits on friendship and housing were a lighter read than later parts on cancer and end-of-life card and decision-making. The last section of the book contained what I waited for the entire book: Practical advice on how to handle the titular question.

I've been trying to write a comprehensive review for this book for months. And I just can't seem to really get my feelings and emotions on the page. On one hand I'm sooo thankful to Kate Kaufmann for writing this book and doing as much research as she did. Interviewing women, getting statistics, compiling thoughts, etc. On the other side I'm disappointed that so many women have experienced what I have over the years; judgement and rudeness over their choice (or inability) to have children. So instead here is a review that is more high level.

The first half of Do You Have Kids? is a wonderful read about all these women from different walks of life. I found many were saying things I've said or had sentiments I've thought. It was nice to connect with them.

The second half was a bit disappointing. It focused almost exclusively on end of life care and estate wealth. I understand that I am 100% responsible for my own end of life care; but to me that's not because I don't have children, but because everyone should be responsible for their own end of life care. I'm disappointed to learn that the norm is still to burden children with their elderly parents. I don't like this mentality as it puts too much pressure on the children and not enough on the adult who should have been anticipating their own needs as they age.
I did however determine that a large amount of my estate (if anything is left but books, lol) will be donated to my local library. I was struck by the thought during reading this last half of the book that most children today are benefiting from public and/or charitable donations made by those without children. Ironic in a way; but also proof that childless people still contribute a lot to society and the future of the human race.

I would recommend this to anyone that is childless by choice or not. I'd also recommend buying this for a struggling family member or friend that doesn't get why someone would select not to have children. It will (hopefully) help them understand that it's not about being selfish. It's about being realistic, pursuing personal happiness and not allowing being female to dictate how we must live our lives. Overall this is an excellent read; but it was emotionally draining for me on many levels.

<i>Please note: I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. This is an honest and unbiased review. </i>

This book did not speak to me. But it's very interesting subject and honestly ppl need to talk about this type of stuff more. Just because most ppl make you feel guilty if you decided to not have children.

Let me start this review by giving thanks to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the advanced digital copy of "Do You Have Kids?", in exchange for my honest opinion.
Author Kate Kaufmann has created a work that will give great comfort to many. In our society it has become traditional to ask, " When are you all going to have kids?" Many do not even stop to think about the fact that some people have not been given or even may not desire to be parents. It is a sensitive subject that has been made so light.
This book is an eye opener as so many subjects under the umbrella of non-parentals. It can be used to teach a course to sensitivity and awareness of this huge subject,especially people who have the desire to be parents and are infertile. The stories and interviews are heartwrenching and enlightening.
I would certainly recommend this book to any group or individual who would care to look through the lenses of others who are without children.

People assume that, because I teach children day in and day out, I want kids. This is an assumption that I’ve been battling for the last seven years. It was so refreshing to read this book, as a childless by choice woman, I really related to what the author was saying.

I think this would be an interesting read for all the women that have called others selfish for giving up their reproductive rights. This would be a great book for people that believe all married couples should have kids. This would also be a great read for in-laws who believe their sole purpose in life is to become grandparents. It’s time we start leaving these decisions up to the women that will be affected, and I’m so happy that Loren and more are feeling the freedom of saying “No, this is not the path for me.” Kids are great if that’s YOUR thing. Thank you to this author for writing this book. It is much needed.

Thank you to She Writes Press for an advance copy. All thoughts are my own. (What a powerful statement, so perfect for this review!)

I was fascinated by the concept of this book. Being a childfree by choice woman, the title of this book spoke to me. It was full of really interesting concepts - for instance, a woman who earns higher-level degrees is also less likely to have children. The connection between religious-less-ness and a lack of children was quite absorbing as well. I found myself nodding along, saying, "yep, that's right" and "yep, that's me" quite a bit. This was a really great read, and I think would be eye-opening for anyone to read whether they had children or not!

Being childfree by choice is not very common in the conservative Midwest where I live. Saying "I don't want kids" is almost akin to saying "I hate them, I hate them all." But that doesn't have to be true. I'm a member of several Facebook groups and have read several books about women who actually really like kids but don't want their own for one reason or another. I wish there wasn't such a stigma surrounding not having kids.

This book covers many topics - from being a "stepgrandmother" to aging and finding care for yourself late in life. It's an interesting read, and I'm glad books like this are out there. Thank you, Netgalley, for this arc.

I wanted to read this book because I have no children and it can be frustrating in our world that is so based on a “normal” family that includes kids. It was nice to read about other people’s experiences living without children and how they have shaped their lives and found purpose as well as how they deal with their friends that do have children. The book was very informative and shared a lot of research done on the topic as well as various stories of childless women and why they chose to not have children. I enjoyed that the author shared her own experiences as well. This book helps to normalize life without children in a world that is so heavily focused on expecting everyone to have children. I really enjoyed the parts about managing friendships with those who have children, learning how to grow old alone and how to deal with nosy people asking why you don’t have children. The part about cancer was interesting and frightening but good to learn more about. I believe anyone who is childless can enjoy this book and it could be helpful for those who do have children as well to learn more about our perspective and challenges.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC copy.

While yes I do have kids this book isn't just for women without kids. It is about how women communicate with each other with or without having children. The author uses a approach that might offend some while others will cheer her very open expression on why someone choose a childless life or those who are not able to have children.

The author uses stories from women all over and from every aspect of life. The stories are heart breaking to inspiring.

Do you have kids is also full of stats and different studies which readers can take with a grain of salt or investigate more.



Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher She Writes Press advance copy of Kate Kaufmann Do You Have Kids

Being childfree myself, I was very interested when I saw this book come up on NetGalley. It didn't just address my experience with losing friends when they had kids, and reacting defensively when people ask me if I have kids ("no, but I have lots of nieces and nephews" in trying to get across that just because I don't have kids, I DO like them), but had loads of other viewpoints including those from childless viewpoints. I'm so glad I live in a place where I'm not stigmatized, though I now know that I have a higher chance for some cancers. Thanks for that knowledge :/ Good book, though, and has a great part at the end that gives thoughtful advice on how people with kids could to talk to childless/childfree women and vice versa.

This was such a relatable book. Even though I felt like the target audience seems to be for older women without kids, I could really understand and relate to most of the life stories featured in this book. It also made me feel less ashamed of my (current) desire to being childfree (I might change my mind about having kids in the future though).

“Do you have kids?”
I’ve been asked this question a handful of times since I graduated from University and joined the workforce a few years ago. My first (internal) reaction would always be: “How old do you think I am?! I’m not old enough and financially stable enough to start a family!” But I get it. Two of my coworkers just came back from mat leave and four other coworkers have kids ranging between the ages of 3 and 7. Office talk always revolves around kids, their extracurricular activities, their achievements, their toys, their everything. Which can get kind of awkward for a non-mom such as myself because I know absolutely nothing about babies and kids.

And then there’s my mom... This is going to sound really weird but my mom has been hinting (no, scratch that) PESTERING me about wanting grandkids since my elementary school days. Her eagerness for grandchildren has basically scared me into childlessness. Now, she’ll lament to whoever will listen that she will probably never have grandkids (probably in an attempt to guilt trip me into producing a grandbaby for her).

Anyways, although the personal stories in this book are nowhere near as ridiculous as mine, I appreciated reading empowering stories about women who couldn’t have kids, women who missed the opportunity to have kids, women who sacrificed having children in order to pursue a career that they wanted, women who helped raise other people’s kids, and women who simply didn’t want to have kids.

This book also offered a very interesting discussion on the social taboo of being childless or childfree and asked questions I never knew to ask. Now that I think about it, I actually have a handful of aunts and uncles who are without children - whether it is by choice or circumstance, I don’t know. It’s not something my family ever talks about. It’s something I never really thought about as being taboo but I suppose, subconsciously, we would classify it as a topic that’s too personal to discuss in an everyday conversation. It also begs the question - what constitutes a family? If you are married but have no kids, are you still a “family”?

Finally, this book offers some useful tips on how to be a single childless woman - planning a will, prevent loneliness, etc.

Overall, I found this book to be well researched with a nice blend of facts, statistics and personal stories.

Suggestions for the next book: “Are You Married? Life When the Answer is No.”

This book is so important. As someone who can't/won't have kids, it was amazing to hear the different ways in which women live/have lived through the many circumstances that come their way.

This was an excellent read. I enjoyed the different perspectives of the women and how the author intertwines her own story within the text. The most eye opening part was the discussion about how childfree and childless women are more susceptible to cancer, this was something I didn't know before. She gives excellent advice on how to make sure you look after yourself to detect it early. I would definetly recommend this book to women who have children and those without, to open a discussion which is generally frowned upon in society. As a woman who has chosen to be childfree, it was great to hear stories similar to my own situation.

This book is very informative and explorers the different reasons women don’t have children and what life is like for them. I enjoyed this book and I think it should be read by those who do and do not have kids.

As someone who is childless not by choice I was hoping this book would be uplifting and positive, but it left me feeling super depressed and down. I actually started just skimming some sections because I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack reading it. I know many of the issues the book brings up are important and it probably just wasn't the right time for me to be reading it, but I really did think it would be helping me come to terms with my situation rather than causing me to panic.

First for the positive. I loved hearing various women's stories and thought the book did a good job of finding a wide variety of women who are all childless for different reasons. I also appreciated a lot of the statistics about women today and how many are not having children. But overall, I felt like way too much of the book was spent on talking about child-free people's living situations and what they'll do when they get older if they don't have children. I started to feel a profound sense of loneliness and panic about a quarter of the way through. I'm only in my mid-30s and happily married, but now I'm totally scared of being a burden on people and dying alone. Like I said, yes these are important things to consider and I probably should start planning now, but I just felt like so much of the book was taken up with this. I also felt like a lot more time was spent on women who choose not to have children rather than women who want to, but can't. Perhaps some day I'll be able to relate more, but for now, it's hard to feel a connection with these women who are choosing to remain childless and a lot of the women in the book came off as cold and unlikeable (I have several friends in real life who don't want kids who don't come off this way at all, so this surprised me).

I also found it interesting (and scary) that so many of the women in the book who don't have children end up divorced in later years. I would have loved to see stats on that and potential reasoning for this.

Overall, I'd just make sure to read reviews before jumping into this book. If you're not in a totally happy place with your decision or "destiny" of not having children, this book probably is not going to make you feel any better about it.

I wanted to read this book because like the woman in this book I also have no children and wanted to see what other woman had to say about their reasons why they don’t have children,I found it very informative and a definite read for those like us that don’t have kids for one reason or another ......I believe it’d even be interesting to those that do have children........

I have been asked this question many times and was interested in hearing what others say... Of course there are many reasons and its really nobody business.... Its sort of like asking someone why they have blonde hair... all about choice and good for people who feel compelled to go down the path

As someone who is childfree, it was interesting for me to read the stories of a lot of different women and their life paths. The author really put a lot of work into creating this book.

It was also good to read about the different living situations, especially for older people. Eye opening and I’m glad I found this book.

I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.