I wanted to love this book but something about it just fell flat for me. While there were particular essays that I enjoyed, overall I did not find the book as a whole to be satisfying.

I'm currently clearing out all of the books that were published in 2019-20 from my title feedback view!

I found this book so hard, but so important, to read. While I usually gravitate toward books that will take me to faraway places, this one took me straight back to myself: to my childhood, to my memories, and to my mother. While I wouldn't necessarily recommend this collection to just anyone, I found each writer's piece to be an essential part of this complex whole.

If this topic resonates with you, pick up this book. It was a quick read and has the challenge associated with collections of essays from different people. Some will grab you and other won't.

Four words: I devoured this book. I thought the essays were beautifully crafted, raw, full of emotion, and even heart wrenching. There was one essay in particular that I could relate to so much that I thought it was written about my life. Not only is this essay collection creative, it is also original as I have not come across a collection of essays like this before. Also, I am not really that fond of essays, but this book completely opened up an entire new genre of reading for me. I will recommend this to everyone!

A fascinating view on relationships and childhood. Interesting perspective of several authors estranged from their parents. As someone who has lost their own mother, it's fascinating to read about how others' relationships evolve or devolve into adulthood. The prose provided by several established writers allows for a difference in style and pace to appeal to all readers.

I enjoyed this book very much and talked and read it with the intention of discussing on Book Riot’s All the Books podcast for the release week, but Liberty did it instead. Regardless, we did include it and the link is below.

This book is a powerhouse of universal truths wrapped in unique and engaging stories. I enjoyed each author, without exception, and felt like I could highlight or underline the entire book.

This thought provoking anthology will break your heart with its honesty and relatability. It is a collection. of essays that will stay with you long past this relatively quick read.

Your mother is your first home and this book helps bring you back to her, for better or worse.

This is a powerful and moving collection, bringing together a rich array of voices. Beginning with Filgate's stunning title essay, the anthology explores one of the most fundamental and universal relationships: that of daughter and child. There's joy and despair, humor and heartbreak, secrets and revelations, as well as unanswered questions.

This collection of essays is human, vulnerable, and at times cathartic. It is uneven at times, but highlights unique literary voices and encourages self reflection and forgiveness.

It is not really what I thought it would be - and with so many voices, there were obviously some essays that stand out as higher quality, that resonated more with me and made a more lasting impression. I was pleasantly surprised to see the diversity - in gender, ethnicity, economic background, life trauma experiences, etc. - that was included in the collection. There were not many essays that hit on the central theme of the first titular essay, and instead ended up being stories of flawed, often misunderstood women whose lives have confused or alienated their children.

I'm grateful for the vulnerability displayed by the authors included in this collection. It made me want to be more vulnerable, too. I'd love to sit in a circle with all of them, each of us holding hands. Our mothers are unknowable, whether they are friends or strangers. We're unknowable to them, as well. There's no fixing it, not really, but we can start talking about it.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC I was given of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.


This one had me at hello. Partially due to the hype surrounding it (it has been hyped as one of the books you can't miss this year), but also because there are very few relationships as fraught as the relationship between mother and child. As Michele Filgate writes in her beautiful, gut wrenching opening essay: "Our mothers are our first homes, and that's why we're always trying to return to them." Sure, some of the homes in this essay are dilapidated, drafty places that offer little comfort, but if that's not fodder for the essay, what is?


Like any anthology, there are some essays in this collection that standout a bit more than others and, for me, the brightest star in this collection was "Thesmophoria," an essay written by Melissa Febos about a daughter who continuously pulls away from her hippie mother, despite her mom's unconditional love and support. This essay stood out to because the content was compelling, but the author didn't rely on her salacious background; instead, she used a rich form of mythology weaving to create something poignant and new. Now, I will admit, I'm a big fan of the braided essay in general and mythology, as well, so this one was an easy to sell to me, but any time you have an essay that mentions the author's heroin addiction without the author relying on gritty details to make her case, I'm impressed.


Another standout for me was the second essay, "My Mother's (Gate)Keeper." I liked it because it felt so familiar without being familiar at all. I have never had a set of married parents, so I can't relate to the writer's parents dynamic of enmeshment at all, but somehow it felt so relatable to me as a reader. It was authentic and fun. Even though Cathi Hanauer was talking about serious issues (the way her father's controlling nature has damaged her ability to have a personal relationship with her mom), you can feel her affection for her father and her own ability to poke fun at her family. It feels warm rather than dramatic and was very readable.


In terms of the weak essays, there weren't really in. Sure, there were a few that weren't as compelling to me, personally, but none of them were bad essays. They were really interesting and they highlighted a variety of voices and issues. I think this is an important collection and I would recommend it to anyone.

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