Rachel Haines was a dynamic gymnast with the world at her feet (literally). Beginning gymnastics as a toddler, she soon became enthralled with the sport, advancing to levels that could have potentially lead her to the Olympics. As a teenager, though, her world began to spiral when she became a victim of Larry Nassar, the predator who has been found guilty of sexually abusing dozens of young girls. Rachel tells her tale of bravery and heroism, and details the grueling life of a career in gymnastics. Surrounded by immense pressure, physical pain, isolation, and sexual abuse, Rachel was faced with stressors that no young kid should have to go through.

While this was an interesting read and certainly had a lot of potential, Haines does not really delve into the abuse as much as the rigors of the sport. While difficult to read, I would have liked to have been made more aware of what she had gone through as a young girl in such a pressure-cooker of a sport. Interesting, but for me, this was not a must-read. (I believe there is a Netflix movie that closely parallels the book, so I may give that a chance).

A stirring look at a sport that is glamorized every four years for the Olympics. This brutal and in your face read deserve your time, attention and action.

Rachel Haines is a survivor. This is her story as an elite gymnast and the abuse her and other gymnast endure and endured (sexually).

This book chronicles her life as a gymnast from the time she first entered the gym until her last event. She discusses the toxic culture and need to be thin, perfect and continue on despite the pain the body is under in order to get that next title.

Haines focuses on the gymnastic side of things, the competitions and the meets and while interesting enough it didn't fully hold my attention, mainly because I didn't know the main difference all of them.

She also focus's on her spinal injury and what she did to push through the pain and continue on.

I feel as though something was missing and left unsaid. I felt as though I was being told her story by someone else rather then reading her story told by her.

It is impressive how the author could write this book at such a young age, so soon after significant trauma. Abused by Rachel Haines is a front-row glimpse into the world of competitive gymnastics during Larry Nassar's widespread reign of abuse as team doctor for US Gymnastics. The author's own injuries were treated using his malicious techniques and likely lead to her eventual debilitating spinal injuries that ended her career and left her with permanent nerve damage. I hope these athletes get justice and healing and I'm proud of the author for having the courage to publish her story.

I had downloaded this book quite some time ago, not realizing that it was also written by a gymnast who was abused by Larry Nassar. I recently read Rachel DenHollander's memoir on the same topic, so I was interested to see how the two compared. This story was equally as powerful and heartbreaking - but didn't have quite the same caliber of storytelling and writing as Denhollander's. It definitely focused more on the gymnastics side of things as well - which was very interesting for me to read.

I'm a huge fan of gymnastics, and always looking for a good tell-all memoir. Rachel Haines' story, particularly her brutal and intimate descriptions of both Larry Nassar's abuse and her complicated journey to admitting that she had been abused at all is powerful and important.
The rest of the memoir, for me, lacked some depth. I have the sense that perspective will help the author make better sense of her experience, but for me, it felt more like a generalized recapping of one meet after the next after the next, with little to distinguish them.

You and your fellow gymnasts are truly brave women. This has got to be one of the most appalling and sickening things for our young girls and women to have experienced at the hands of a trusted and experienced professional. This was someone who preyed on young people entrusted to his care in the most vulnerable situations. It is horrendous to imagine that he got away with this behavior at such a high level and so intrusively for so long, but then to also have so many complicit adults surrounding him and protecting him is almost more shocking.
It is sad that it has taken so long and for so many of you to need to come forward and share your stories to get USAG to finally overhaul their outdated culture.
Thank you for your bravery and willingness to put yourself out there. As a mother of a recent Level 7 gymnast, I appreciate the knowledge of learning from your experience. I loved many of the lessons and strengths that gymnastics gave to my child but she has chosen to walk away and pursue other things. Part of me will miss it for her and us, but part of me is glad that she chose this alternative path.
I wish you the best.
#Abused #NetGalley

Thank you Rachel for sharing your story with us. I appreciate the honesty in this story. Some areas of her gymnastics career were positive, others extremely negative. While I find the sexual abuse sickening, I am even more disgusted that Larry Nassar approved and encouraged her to compete with the life threatening injuries she had sustained. I am so glad that he will not continue to be allowed to hurt anyone. I wish Rachel the best of luck throughout her continuing life journey.

While the subject matter of the book can at times behard to read it is an important book to read and I highly recommend it

Haines provides some of the positives and negatives of competitive gymnastics in a book that was difficult to put down or forget. She not only described an unhealthy competitive culture and her abuse at the hands of Larry Nassar, but also showed how they connected. The ending is surprisingly peaceful and hopeful, and I hope those feelings of peace and hope endure for the author.

This is a book that is tough to review as it is a very personal true story of trauma. All I can say is that this story moved me and while I wouldn't call the reading experience fun, it was impactful.

Thank you to NetGalley, Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, and Rachel Haines for an ARC ebook copy to review. As always, an honest review from me.

My rating is 4.5 stars, but since there aren't half stars I always round up.

Like:
- She was able to speak her truth and current perspective of John Geddert. She enjoyed having him as a coach. Many other people have spoken out against his abusive coaching techniques, which I absolutely believe. But the problems of the sport of gymnastics are not one sided, so its good that everyone can tell their story.
- Hearing her perspective of the story (her’s only), not just what we were getting from the media
- I can see this being the first of many books written, by different authors, about the same subject. Finally the world is getting a more complete view of gymnastics - the good and the bad.

Love:
- She’s using her voice to tell her story and speak out against the abuse and toxic culture of the sport.
- Discusses the abuse without being unnecessarily overly graphic, IMO
- Discusses the abusive culture of gymnastics as a whole, because it’s not just one person’s bad actions

Dislike:
- The culture of abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual) that’s been allowed throughout the sport of gymnastics, because of the people in charge not putting athlete safety and well being first

Wish that:
- It was a bit longer. The content is great and the perfect length, but I would have liked to hear more about the sport as a whole and the culture of abuse across multiple gyms. Maybe that’s for another book and I would absolutely read that too.

Overall, a very necessary book about the current culture within the sport of gymnastics. A great read about a difficult topic. I think everyone needs to read Rachel’s story, especially anyone currently or ever involved in the sport.

This is an important story, but I often found my attention wandering while I was reading. I'll probably still order this book for my library because I know readers would be interested in Rachel's story.

Rachel's story was extraordinary. Her ability to overcome so much stunned me. I followed the Nasser case closely and was in awe of the survivors strength. I only wish this book had given attention to the speech Rachel gave during Nasser's sentencing. Her speech gave me chills, made me cry, and helped me see what an amazing women she became.

This story will grab you and not let you go until you reach the last word. It may even stay with you, with the atrocities and pressure that author Rachel Haines sustained buried deep in the back of your mind.
It is easy to think of gymnasts the same way we consider ballerinas: ethereal, feminine, able to perform superhuman feats of leaping and twisting that doesn’t seem possible. However, the two fields possess a few more similarities that are not so desirable. Both contain instances of eating disorders, perfectionism, toxic cultures….and abuse. In 2018 the prestigious New York City Ballet fired two male dancers after harassment charges had been brought against them. The history of abuse, both physical and sexual, is storied in the ballet world. Men (whether dancers or choreographers) hold all the power, and women are treated like second class citizens.
It seems that men hold all the power in gymnastics as well. Last year the horrific story about Larry Nassar’s hundreds of victims surfaced, which empowered other victims to come forward and share their story of the abusive culture they experienced. Coaches such as John Geddert and Bela Karolyi used their temper to mentally and physically abuse gymnasts under the guise of “encouragement” or to “toughen them up for competition”. The athletes were surrounded by a cloak of silence, looking inward and wondering if they were misreading Nassar’s “treatments”, which included taking pills and/or enduring digital manipulation (internal and external). As time went on, the gymnasts became inured to what was happening to them and accepted it as part of their lot in life. After all, they had chosen to be gymnasts, and to deny or expose this part would result in them being shunned or removed from the environment they knew and loved. As Haines notes, being a gymnast was her reason for living. No matter how painful or stressful it was, she was first and foremost, an elite athlete who performed gymnastics for a living. She knew of no other world, nor did she want to.
As Haines became more competitive, she sustained a horrific injury to her back (it was broken in multiple places) and had to work through pain on a daily basis. Nassar made sure to give her many “treatments” while telling her that while her back was injured, she was still cleared to perform her routines. As time went on, her legs grew numb. Her pre-competition ritual consisted of slathering immense amounts of Icy Hot on her legs, then punching them or cutting them so she would be able to detect a modicum of sensation. As I read further into the book, I was speechless at how she was able to keep performing (check out her videos on YouTube). Once, her legs betrayed her during a competition. She bravely took a moment, then got back on the beam to complete her routine. If that is not courage, strength, pluck, bravery, and badassery, then I don’t know what is. Yet, through all of this, she was filled with self-doubt and impostor syndrome. Haines felt like she could never be equal to others and would often compare herself to other gymnasts. This left her wanting to be better, to be worthy, to be deserving.
Women are usually their own worst critics. The pressure Haines put on herself was unbelievable, as her fierce spirit held her in good stead throughout multiple years of practice, excruciating pain, and sexual abuse. Despite all her achievements, Haines still believed she was not good enough. This book will take you through her entire gymnastics journey, the highs and lows, the pain and the victories. It will also give you new respect for Haines and the other gymnasts who had to suffer through Nassar’s years of abuse. Haines bares her soul, her doubts, and her faith in this book, and I am sure it was not an easy task. Looking inward, then speaking out is one of the most intimidating things a woman can do; and Haines showed us her strength and wisdom, even as she confronted Nassar at his trial.
If this story does not move you or fill you with pride at how these women were able to overcome adversity, you had better check your pulse.

This book was interesting enough, except that it dragged way too much.

Too many details we did not need and some of it felt like filler. This has to be a pass for rme.

This book is all about Rachel's story of how she became a top gymnast and how her trainer
abused her. I found this book very sad to read not only because of what happened to Rachel but also
because it took away her love of the sport of gymnastics. Which was a love and a talent that she developed
at a very young age and it also made her fearful for her daughter. The book started out from when Rachel
first started gymnastics and I really liked how she talked about her successes and her hard times even when
she wanted to quit a few times. Then she met Lary, the teams doctor, and that is when things went bad for
Rachel. Larry started to take Rachel's injury and used this as a crutch to abuse and violate her for a long
time. This book was very interesting because I don't know that much about gymnastics so it was nice to
see it from a competitive point of view instead of just a gym class setting. I found this book to be a pretty
quick read but I think that was mostly because of how lovely the story was written. Really good book and
really sad at the same time I'm glad that Rachel found the courage to speak up about what happened to her.

Note: I'm using the GoodReads star rankings (2 equals "okay") and this review is based on a free ARC I received from NetGalley.

I've always imagined writing to an extent like baking: there are times when you just know your work is technically done but not quite ready. In the case of "Abused," this is a book more like wine--I have a feeling it would have been stronger with a bit more time to develop.

What's good: This is elite gymnast Rachel Haines' effort to understand the abuse she suffered at the ends of despicable piece of shit Larry Nassar (let us always refer to him as such) within a broader context of what the title correctly labels "a toxic gymnastics culture." In particular, she details her willingness to continue to compete despite a horrific back injury and the efforts she made to disguise the unspeakable pain she endured.

What's iffier: This is where I think more time would have benefited the author, and I'd love to see her have another look at this manuscript in a decade or two. Currently, it is clear from reading the book that she has more than a little self-anger at herself for her choices, and and an ambivalence toward the sport she hasn't entirely worked through yet.

What I'd like to see more of:
1.) The book is obviously built around the hook of Larry "Piece of Shit" Nassar. That's probably an editor's choice and it is an understandable one, given we still remember his evil. In the bigger picture, though, the real story is the mountain of abuse Rachel endured from the sport as a whole, to the point that she very easily could have partially paralyzed herself. Being subjected to Nassar (Piece of Shit)'s grotesque abuse was a result of this same system which held her mentally prisoner from reporting the agony of her back, or even considering the wisdom of Nassar (Piece of Shit) as her doctor (especially when faced with an array of specialists who disputed his assessment of her back).
2.) Her family is loving and supportive throughout the book. To what extent did her parents participate in this insanity? (Jennifer Sey's autobiography does contemplate her parents' role in looking away from the obvious.)
3.) The book moves very quickly and there are moments where I don't think it really dives deeply enough into the topic it covers; we're more listing what Rachel endured vs. stopping and putting this into a context that ALL gymnasts are somehow dealing with (aka that toxic culture). This is where the book could expand and grow.

Overall, this is a courageous book--the author admits it was difficult for her to discuss the abuse she endured, so to do so within public is quite courageous. It is also revealing, as it feels it was easier for her to endure near-paralyzing pain than discuss the abuse of Nassar the Piece of Shit. I hope in the end it was also a therapeutic book, for both Rachel Haines and those who have walked the same path she has.