I've tried to read this one a few times and there's something that just doesn't work for me. I definitely think this would be a great read for a lot of people, however, at this time I'm going to set it aside.

This turned out to be an unexpected pleasure for me. I rarely read books that discuss characters who are struggling with their Christian belief, and I'm not really sure why I requested it, but it was wonderful.

When youth pastor Mark Haines' sister killed herself to settle the existence of God for herself, Mark had a breakdown and turned to alcohol, eventually living on the street. That was 15 years ago. Now he's sober, lives in a small house in a California beach town, works as a watchman, and spends his free time surfing. He and his ex are in touch in a friendly brother-and-sister way, but his daughter, who witnessed his own suicide attempt as a young child, now has a child of her own and wants nothing to do with him. One day he allows himself to be conned out of a free breakfast by a young woman who then asks if she can stay at his place for a night or two. Neither trusts the other, but they make it through and then she disappears, reappearing a year later among the beach crowd before disappearing again. Mark becomes obsessed with finding her and making sure she's OK, seeing her safety as one way to bring himself a little redemption. What he stumbles into brings back all the memories of his sister, his pastoral years, and, inevitably, his own struggle with belief. As he follows clues through the drug trade and through the megachurch community, he begins to make sense of his own history and his own role in a megachurch-in-the-making.

Mark's voice rings very true, and he does not back down from examining the most difficult questions about his past. There is quite a bit of suspense in the plot, but the focus is on Mark's inner life. Highly recommended.

The style of The Churchgoer wasn't quite what I expected- I had it in my head that this would be more plot-driven mystery, but this is more literary fiction style noir. It's a dark story, and it seems unlikely at many points that the main character will make it out alive or not behind bars, making this a bit of a nail-biter. I struggled to understand why the character of Cindy meant so much to main character Mark (misdirected feelings regarding his estranged daughter? Maybe?) that he went to the lengths that he did, but in general I feel like I maybe just missed the mark on this book in general.

A moving work with True Detective vibes. Hung on every word and will definitely be recommending to library patrons!