Member Reviews
This book is a follow up to Jacob's New Dress that addresses gender non-conformity. It's a great picture book to start the conversation about gender expression with young children. Gender is not represented as a binary within the book, but a spectrum.
Hoffman writes another winner, this one addresses gendered bathroom in schools. I love how the teacher handled the situation!
*thank you to Netgalley, Sarah and Ian Hoffman and Magination Press for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review*
4 stars.
A great book for all children to read. This would do well in schools to help children understand that not everyone is the same or within the traditional fit for one gender or another. I liked the illustrations and the colours were nice and colourful which is great for attracting little ones eyes.
4.5★
"Two boys were at the sinks.
They stared at Jacob standing in the doorway.
Jacob knew what that look meant.
He turned and ran out."
This is a companion book to Jacob's New Dress by the same authors, parents of Sam. This is the first part of their authors' note.
"When our son Sam was in kindergarten, he had waist-length blond hair and a gentle smile. His favorite outfit was a pink dress. Everyone who met him assumed he was a girl, and he didn’t mind.
Sam’s interests were a mix of traditional 'girl' things like ballet, make-believe, and art, mixed with traditional 'boy' things like knights, castles, and dinosaurs. Clinically, children like Sam are called gender-nonconforming; we liked to call him a pink boy — the male equivalent of a tomboy."
Why is it okay for a girl to be a tomboy but wrong for a boy to be a pink boy? I'd prefer a better term, but any alternatives seem to be pejorative. Nancy-boy, sissy-boy, and such.
Sam was lucky not only with parents but with an understanding teacher. That's fine, as far as it goes, and this book is the same. A sympathetic teacher and a bit of humour save the day when Jacob and Sophie are teased or bullied for using the 'wrong' bathrooms.
My Goodreads and Amazon reviews include a picture of Jacob (green dress) and Sophie (checked shirt) looking at bathroom door signs.
Both children are scared out of the bathrooms so don't use them. Later, as the teacher notices them getting antsy, she finds out what happened. Good woman that she is, she gives the class the task of figuring out what to do.
My Goodreads and Amazon reviews include a picture of Ms. Reeves and her sketches of boys and girls.
The kids know instantly which is which, who's who, because the boy has pants and a tee-shirt and the girl has a dress and long hair. Too easy!
OK, everybody stand by the picture that looks like you. Then the kids realise that some of the boys have long hair, some of the girls are wearing pants, and. . . you get the idea.
My Goodreads and Amazon reviews include a picture of Ms. Reeves and a colourful bunch of kids (and don't you love her own outfit?)
The kids decide to make their own bathroom signs instead of boy/girl signs. YAY for Ms. Reeves! Anyone who doesn't fit whatever the locally acceptable style/fashion/preconceived notion of normal is will always have trouble, but the more gender-neutral and ability-neutral bathrooms we have around the world, the better.
The old long-drop on the farm didn't care whose bottom used it!
It's a delightful little book, and while Jacob and Sophie will still have trouble using bathrooms with older kids or in public places, this is a start.
For the nay-sayers and doubters who say "back in my day. . . ", I will add that back in my day, we rarely saw anything much out of the norm in any way. Kids with Down Syndrome were hidden away, people with mental challenges were pretty much locked up, and kids in wheelchairs went to "special schools". As for gender issues, even straight gays, if I can put it that way, stayed well and truly in the closet, hidden right in the back.
I'm all for diversity, which is a just as well, since there's so much of it! :)
Thanks to NetGalley and the American Psychological Association for the review copy of this book. I imagine the first one is equally good.
This is a simple picture book about two children, Sophie and Jacob, who aren't able to use the school bathrooms because they fear for their safety because of being gender non-conforming. Their teacher helps the kids in their class see that the pictures on the doors (girl with long hair and a dress, boy with short hair and shorts) don't match up with many of the kids, not just Jacob and Sophie. Some of the boys have long hair, some of the girls are wearing pants or shorts, etc. The kids make signs that say to just let people pee and to use the bathroom that feels right for them. The author explains in the end pages that her son was in a similar situation as a child because he had long hair and sometimes wore dresses, and was once punched in the boys' bathroom for using the urinal. She also points out that at home we tend to just have a bathroom, not one for one gender or another. Seriously, why do people get angry at the notion that kids who don't look or act the way society tells them to should not be terrified to use a restroom?
This is a gentle book that can show kids one of the concerns of gender non-conforming kids, and they're likely to easily understand and accept it. Children seem to be much better at getting this stuff than some of us grown ups.
I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for the purpose of review.
As we see an increase of younger children being encouraged to seek out who they are based on more than anatomy, bathroom situations become more prevalent. Jacob's Room to Choose was a perfect book to begin the conversation about how we decide where to "go" and how to act about it. I think this is a good book to share with even the youngest of learners.
Jacob's room to choose tackles the ongoing cultural discussion of gendered bathrooms. The authors explore how gendered differences are established in cultural and how that impacts our young children. Even though the concept might be advanced for very young readers, the authors handle the material in an age appropriate and sensitive way.
I am glad to see more books about gender acceptance entering mainstream children's literature, although I would like to see less message driven books surrounding this topic and more books about kids being kids no matter how or if they identify with any certain gender or stereotype.
The vulnerability of the authors' own struggles will bring insights and encouragement to other parents facing the same issues as well as classroom teachers and communities. A worthwhile book to read and would be a great addition to a parenting section at the library or parent resources in a school setting.
Towards the end of library time, Mrs. Reeves asks the class if anyone needs to go to the bathroom before they head back to class. Jacob and Sophie raise their hands. The next page shows Jacob, wearing a dress, standing in front of a door with a pictograph of a person wearing pants. Sophie, wearing pants, is standing in front of a pictograph of a person wearing a dress.
They stopped outside of the bathroom doors.
“Do you think it’s okay?” asked Sophie.
“I don’t know” said Jacob.
Dear readers, it was not okay. Jacob saw two boys washing their hands and knew from their looks that he would not be welcome. Sophie was chased out of the bathroom, told to use the boy’s bathroom.
On returning to the library, Sophie still has to pee and Jacob explains what happened. Mrs. Reeves accompanies them to the bathrooms and then stands watch while they do the things all human bodies demand be done. Rather than becoming an enforcer of the binary, Mrs. Reeves uses the experience as a teaching moment for all the children about being respectful of people no matter how they present.
Jacob’s Room to Choose is a lovely, positive story with engaging and friendly illustrations. The image of Jacob and Sophie standing in front of the gender specific bathroom doors has stayed with me. The pose of the gender-nonconforming children matches the pose of the binary gender pictographs, but they are specifically excluded. Jacob, presenting feminine, and Sophie, presenting masculine, look up, up, up at the symbols that tell them they don’t belong and that not belonging is reinforced by the children inside the bathroom.
Mrs. Reeves teaches a good lesson – bee kind, bee respectful, and bathrooms are for every bunny.
I received this as an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book is part of the series that is sponsored by the American Psychological Association. It was written by the parents of a gender non-conforming child who have first hand experience with the topic being addressed here.
The book tells the story of Jacob and Sophie along with their many classmates and wise teacher/librarian. It presents the dilemma that the two friends face when they need to use the restroom at school. With the help of a sensitive adult, the students move away from stereotypes and do a poster project for gender neutral facilities.
This book can provide a way for educators to introduce a topic that may seem difficult but can be addressed with sensitivity. Parents of children and children who feel different at times will most likely find that the book resonates for them.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book in return for an honest review.
I like how this book addresses 'bathroom' issues from multiple voices, Jacob and Sophie. It does not feel like a forced issue like many other books try to do. The teacher is great and helps them solve the issue, by allowing them to come up with solutions.
I get the message they are trying to portray but it was done very awkwardly. The book ended very anti-climatic. A helpful book for people in similar situations.
One shouldn't shame children because they don't fit into the box you think they should. Children need to feel comfortable in their bodies, and if you make it hard for them to feel comfortable doing a simple thing as peeing, then the child is going to try not to pee at school.
In fact, that is what Jacob says, that he rarely uses the bathroom at school.
So the teacher feels this is a "teaching moment" and has the kids think about how they can make the bathrooms all inclusive, and they come up with signs, and slogans.
<img src="https://g2comm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/jacombs-room-to-choose.png" alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-5294" />
It is a cute picture book about accepting kids that don't fit the norm.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
very child should feel loved, be able to express themselves and see an encouraging environment. Jacob's Room to Choose is a lovely children's book. It is bright, short and shows the exact lessons we want for all the children in our lives. Sarah and Ian Hoffman created some clear characters, support and encouragement in story with the happy conclusions we want in our stories. In a world where kids are often faced with adult problems, this book gives solutions at a child's level. I encourage it for anyone with small children in their lives.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley!
adorable kids book.
we loved the illustrations.
the story was unique & easy to read!
Another great book by this author. The other Jacob book was a big hit and this one will be too. We put out diversity lists and we will make sure to include this one on there
This is actually the second book about Jacob, the first being Jacob's New Dress (which I haven't read). Jacob's Room to Choose, however, stands on its own as a sweet story of gender-nonconforming kids and their fight to pee in peace.
When Jacob (who wears a dress) and his friend Sophie (who wears pants) try to go to the bathroom, they're immediately chased out by kids who think they don't belong there (even though Jacob has tried to use the boys' bathroom and Sophie the girls'; they can't win!). When they tell their teacher what happened, she starts a gentle discussion about gender stereotypes with the class. Can a girl wear pants and still be a girl? Of course! What about a boy with long hair? Is he still a boy? The kids catch on to the idea pretty quickly, and then they come up with all sorts of new signs for the bathrooms ("I have to pee, so let me be!", "Use the bathroom that is comfy 4 u", and, my favourites, "Bathroom with a urinal" and "Bathroom without a urinal"). At the end, with the support of their teacher, classmates, and principal, Jacob and Sophie are finally able to use the bathrooms in peace.
The authors' note at the end, talking about their son, is just heartbreaking, and shows why books like this are needed. (It doesn't matter if he's wearing a dress; a little boy should not have to dodge punches while using the urinal.) The sooner children learn that gender expression isn't some binary thing set in stone, the better... and this book starts off that conversation quite nicely.
This is a great book to teach children and adults about acceptance. “New” concepts can be hard to accept but ignorance is not an excuse.
This book takes a difficult (for some) subject and makes it way simple to understand. Be kind and treat everyone with acceptance and equality.
“Adult issues” are not only ours. These issues affect children and I think it’s fantastic to have a book about children’s dealing with these issues better than many adults.