Thank you @netgalley and @sourcebooks for my advance readers copy. #partner

I really enjoyed reading about Nefertiti’s childhood. She states from the beginning that she was taking in by her grandparents and dives into why that occurred. She often called it “black adoption,” meaning there wasn’t any official adoption but basically the child(ren) moves into a relatives home for some time. It’s something I am familiar with and have witnessed with other relatives. She is a very engaging writer; however, I did feel that at times it was wordy in some areas but not enough in other areas. I wanted to hear more of her day to day struggles to adjusting to adoption and the many social workers. To me that felt glazed over and more like a chronological story.

I do appreciate her providing details about the process itself. If you want to learn more about the adoption system through the eyes of of a black woman, then this is the book for you! I give it 3.5 stars.

This book releases tomorrow 9/24 .

You can also find my review on www.instagram.com/kristinasbookishlife

I read quite a few parenting books when I was pregnant with my first child back in 2013, but quickly found that most of them followed a strict pattern, centering the middle class white American woman. I ended up resorting to searching for more relatable (to me) motherhood blogs, and also writing my own stories, because I couldn’t see myself in a lot of the content I was reading, and/or it made me feel as if I were failing motherhood in some way. I can’t even imagine how much harder it must have been for Nefertiti Austin when she started her motherhood journey a few years before I started mine. I can however imagine the constant frustration she must have felt in trying to find information that would be helpful to her own situation and coming up blank, even though you know full well that motherhood experiences exist in all shapes and forms.

I’m so happy that Nefertiti Austin wrote her own story, for herself, and for all of us. First of all because motherhood is a unique path that has many intersections, and too many of them are erased (especially stories of Black motherhood). Secondly because we rarely read about Black women and adoption in the US (or elsewhere for that matter), and it is important for everyone to be able to find information that they identify with, but it is also important to be able to read information that helps us all to be better humans (and parents) in general. How can I learn to be a better parent if I only read stories that I relate to? In order to grow, and to help our children grow, we must be willing to learn about all types of experiences.

Motherhood So White is beautifully written, and balances Nefertiti’s personal experiences growing up, and her journey as a single black woman through the Californian foster care system in order to adopt a little boy, with the stark realities of what it is like to navigate systems that are dominated by white supremacy. I love how honest she is about her journey into motherhood, how she juggles so many hats, and how she uses her own experience as a way to help others on their own journeys. I learnt so much from this book, especially about the importance of creating your own village, both for parent and child, and hope that it makes it onto all of the top 10 lists this year. These are the parenting stories that should be highlighted, the ones that we shouldn’t have to search for, the ones that are so much more true to life and reality than the ones that are too readily available.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advance copy, and thanks to Nefertiti Austin for her beautiful, and necessary, memoir.

I’ve worked with many kids in the foster care system and I have been floating the idea of foster to adopt for a while. My fiancé is black and I am going to have brown skin kids. These are things that both excite and terrify me because I know I’m nowhere near prepared for either of these things!

I enjoyed reading about her journey as a mother. I appreciated her perspective. She is a great writer and it was easy to quickly read through the short chapters. Love that she wrote the book that she wished she had. I’m happy that now I have a resource to give to families that I will be working with.

I remember what it was like being pregnant with my son, flipping through the pages of What To Expect When You’re Expecting and preparing my house for a newborn. I was overwhelmed and excited. Motherhood hadn’t been a dream of mine, but with my husband I wanted an edition to my family. I didn’t gravitate towards books about motherhood having helped raise my two nephews and being around younger children throughout my life. It’s now after being a mother for eleven years, after knowing what it’s like to raise a Black child that I’ve gravitated towards stories of other Black mothers. This is a memoir outside of my realm. I don’t know what it’s like to adopt a child and what that experience entails. But the more Austin wrote about raising her Black son, who is only a year older than my own child, I felt a kinship. Nothing about being a mother is easy and raising a Black child adds a certain amount of stress that you wouldn’t understand unless you talked to their parents.

I learned so much while reading this book and I am so glad that Austin was willing and able to put in to words her experience with adopting a child as a single Black woman. It’s an experience I don’t see in the mainstream anywhere. Austin, within the pages of this memoir, discusses her upbringing and how for various reasons her grandparents stepped in and unofficially adopted her and her younger brother. She expresses the loss she felt not having her parents in the home and the struggle to connect to her mother. She discusses the moment that she wanted to do adopt a child. And one of the most important things that she discusses is the reaction by her community to adopt a child not of her own family relation or kin. We don’t discuss enough how the political language used to describe Black mothers as “welfare queens” and their children as “crack babies” still lingers and affects the way people view adopting Black children and results in so many Black children being left in foster care. It’s been years since I’ve watched “Losing Isaiah” and though I appreciate the performance of Halle Berry, Samuel L. Jackson and Jessica Lange, I’ll never be able to watch it again. It promotes too many negative stereotypes about Black women and uplifts white saviorism in a way that I can’t and won’t tolerate. Austin does her best to dispel those myths and discuss what it was really like to adopt. These notions have got to be dismantled if we want these children to have good homes. Learning from Austin how to navigate this system and successfully foster/adopt Black children will help so many people in similar situations.

The honest truth is that motherhood has centered white women for far too long and it’s beyond time for that to change. Books like this will force that change to happen. We live in a time when Black women are lifting their voices and telling their stories. Austin’s addition to those voices helps promote further change. It’s important to read outside of your experience and the experiences only being promoted in the mainstream. I’ll happily recommend this book. Austin is a great writer who in these pages was able to express succinctly her life and journey to motherhood.

When Nefertiti Austin decided to adopt a Black boy through the California foster care system, she could not find representation in books or film of her journey as a Black single mother. She set out to change that with this memoir that chronicles her heartbreaks, struggles, and triumphs of motherhood. Touching on universal parenting topics, such as choosing a name, finding a community, and answering tough questions, Austin presents a much-needed view of being a Black single mother that crushes stereotypes and tackles racism head-on.

This is a very detailed account of a journey through adoption. It begins with all of the thought that goes into even making this life-changing decision. Especially tough for Nefertiti, a black single woman adopting within the foster care system. In addition to her own doubts and fears, she learns of the opinions of family and friends as to her ability to raise a son on her own. As she ventures into motherhood with her baby boy, she faces the challenges of raising a black child in today's racially conflicted environment. I liked how intentional her decisions and actions were to be the best mom she could possibly be. As with all of us parents, she did not have all of the answers, but her son would be loved and that is half of the battle. The story is told in a narrative style and I found I did not get pulled in emotionally even thought this can be a very emotionally charged topic.

When Nefertiti Austin set out to adopt, she searched for resources for single Black moms of adopted children. She wasn't surprised by the dearth of materials. But she was surprised when she couldn't even find race-neutral resources. Based on the total lack of narratives like hers, she sat down to write the memoir/resource the world was missing. Motherhood So White is such an important book, and it will be crucial to many mothers and children that don't see their experience reflected in media. Austin struck a great balance of her own experience, research, and examination of how society treats single Black mothers of adopted kids. Her story is engaging, eye-opening, and definitely worth a read.

Wasn’t it Toni Morrison who said, “if you can’t find the book you want to read, it’s your responsibility to write it. Well that is exactly what Nefertiti Austin has done. Wanting to be a mother, Nefertiti found scant resources and texts available centered around Black women adopting Black children.

So this book details her journey to motherhood through adoption and discovery that white women are normalized and universalized around motherhood. It is a bit of surprise that Nefertiti was so taken aback by this. It’s no secret that white people occupy the default position in this society, so for her to be surprised and shocked that this also extends to motherhood is disconcerting.

“Despite the long history of relationships between Black mammies, nannies, housekeepers, and caregivers for white children, our consistent erasure in parenting literature confirmed that mother in America would always be read as white.”

She details her journey here to adopting a black boy. She is to be commended for that and often writes in such a way that says, ‘I should be celebrated’, though I’m not sure if that’s intentional. In any event, there is now, by her hand a text that will help walk others through the adoption process, while providing support and answers to a myriad of questions.

“While Black adoption was common in my community, I was an outlier for wanting to adopt a child I did not know. I was also an outlier among whites for defying stereotypes around single, Black motherhood, but none of this was in writing.” Well now thanks to Nefertiti Austin there is something in writing and hopefully this will lead to others making the choice of adoption and providing a loving home to children, who are all deserving of such an opportunity. Thank you to Netgalley and Sourcebooks for an advanced DRC. Book drops Sept. 24, 2019

As a single Black Woman, Nefertiti decided to become a mother through adoption. What follows is this story of learning, of growing, and of bonding with her family, old and new. This book is a heartfelt look into the realities of adoption, black adoption, and raising black sons in a world that automatically expects them to be a certain way.

I learned a lot from this book and it opened my eyes to some of the realities that I had never thought of before reading this book.

Oh, how I loved this book! I don't even know where to start! I try to educate myself about the different ways that people experience life. I am an immigrant whose first language is not English. I am a single mother of two boys (not by choice). I am a public school employee which allows me just enough to support my family, There was a time in my life when I was a recipient of WIC and my child was on Title 19 insurance. I have never not have my own transportation or a place to live. So, that's the lens I view the world through. But none of my own experiences help me understand the lives of people of color for I am white. No matter how many struggles I had to go through, I was never judged on the color of my skin and until not very long ago was completely oblivious to all sorts of hidden racism, assumptions and micro-aggressions happening all over. (Not to be confused with ignoring blatant racism that seems to have grown exponentially) This is why a book like Motherhood So White is so important, It gave me a window - a very necessary window into the world of black motherhood and, in this case, specifically single black female adopting a child that was not related to her. The book opened my eyes to so many things. I am grateful I was privileged to read an ARC of this book. I would highly recommend this book to males and females of all ages, races, cultures and walks of life.

Informative, relevant important resource! This is so needed. It points out the flaws and injustices in our current systems while also guiding people and referring them to sources of help.

A look at what it means to be a foster and adoptive mother in American, a Black foster and adoptive mother. The way you are perceived in your community, in your family and by society as a whole.

Bringing the under-representation of single black mother wishing to adopt to the forefront and challenging the stereotype of single black mothers, Austin's memoir changes the narrative for future generations of adopters and their children.

This is a book on black motherhood that I didn't know I needed! I loved how the author described her parenting journey with reflection on how she was parented. Then she gives us a glimpse into the severely flawed foster care system in the US. As a mother myself, this book also reminded how important a village is when it comes to raising a child.

This book is for anyone interested in raising black children. While most books cater to white mothers, this focuses on the black mom experience. However, a mom of any race who has decided to love on a black child can surely benefit.

Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting by Nefertiti Austin divulges into what it means to be a single, black mother of adopted black children in a country that views motherhood through the perspective of white women.

“I was awakened to the fact that in America, there are two motherhoods: One white and the other, black.”

We hear of celebrities adopting Black children all the time, but what you don’t really hear about is the everyday Black women that stomps on stereotypes and succeeds at being a single parent by choice. Austin discuss the taboo in the black community on adopting children while single, the Black perspective in adoption literature, religion, race and the foster system. This was such an informative read. Austin did an amazing job in her research and with a little over 300 pages I was able to complete this in a day, it will captivate you. Thanks to Sourcebooks for me a copy in exchange for an honest review. 5 out of 5 stars

This book could not have come at a better time. I have a friend going through the foster care/adoption process and I realized there was so little I knew about how it worked. Rather than constantly badgering her to explain it to me, I'm glad there is a book that can help do it for her - while also telling a compelling memoir of motherhood that is rarely available on shelves. Nefertiti is a singe, black woman who decided to adopt a black boy through foster care, something that is taboo in the black community and that there are few resources for. As she explains in the first chapter, she is a product of "black adoption" - in which her grandparents cared for her and her brother when their parents were unable to.

I really enjoyed reading about choosing to be a mother and retaining an identity as an individual - Nefertiti continues to maintain a career and pursue interests, while juggling the complicated array of meetings, paperwork, and process that comes with foster care/adoption. This has been largely missing for me in memoirs of women that choose to have biological children - and the emphasis here is compassionate, thoughtful approach to having and raising children of color. There are several unique things about the storytelling, including interviews with other black adoptive mothers at the end of the book, which highlights the diverse experiences missing from the white, dominant narrative.

Without spoiling the ending, I can see the reasons for why Austin decided to end the way she did, but I also found it to be abrupt and make the story feel more final than it is (as a true story!). There are several parts in which she goes into detail about navigating conversations about race and gender with her adoptive children that were really good examples of how they take place every day in homes for kids of color - and a good reminder that white privilege is defined by not having to have these conversations or think about race growing up. I would have loved to have even more tales of the challenges of everyday child rearing, although I think the vignettes selected were great. This sparked an interest for me in adoption (which has been on my mind for years), and for finding more memoirs of women that have gone through this process.

Thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

I absolutely loved this - it's thoughtful, funny, and so very important.
I read this as a British white woman with no children of my own (and no real plans to) but there's still so much here - most importantly, it's an opportunity to examine my own privilege, and that's something many of us need to do more frequently.

Wow! This was such an outstanding and thought provoking memoir. Nefertiti Austin’s incredible story of choosing to adopt as a single Black woman was not only beautifully written but a truly impactful treatise on raising Black boys and girls in America and the cultural biases that are placed upon single motherhood. It is probably going to be the book that I can’t stop recommending people read. Much like Angela Garbes "Like a Mother" last year, I love the unique female voices that we are hearing recently.

Thank you so much to Netgalley for the ARC in trade for an honest review.

While I am not a mother and have zero interest in becoming one, I throughly enjoyed this book. When the author, who is black decided to adopt a black baby on her own people were shocked and she realized that a lot about American motherhood is seen through a white lens.

The book is an interesting look at how we view motherhood, race and stereotypes. Lots of good information but also very readable.

I don't typically read memoirs, but I've been trying to branch out and read more books by and about women, especially women that have and are living lives that are different than mine. Nefertiti Austin's book fits that bill and then some.

"Black mothers lived in a different America from white mothers." This entire book is a study in love. She found so few written examples of single black women adopting black children that they were not directly related to within the foster system that she decided to write her own book, and it's enlightening, heartbreaking at times, educational, humorous, and ultimately a story about motherhood. She covers everything from trying to explain to her family why she wanted to adopt a black baby boy to intersectional feminism, from how there are little to no representation of people of color in children's books when it comes to explaining adoption to children and how almost all of Hollywood's representation of single motherhood is represented by white women. She closes her book with a message of inclusivity and love, about how no matter how you choose to adopt, you need to make sure that you're honoring your child's origins, and she's absolutely right. This was a wonderful read and I completely recommend it for anyone wanting to broaden their reading horizons, regardless of whether you're interested in adoption or not. It's an important read.

Masterful storytelling of a groundbreaking topic!!! Hallelujah for something fresh and endearing in publishing that should have made the Mother’s Day gift list. Ms. Austin writes with such clarity and depth on the parenting niche of adoption that one clamors to imagine scores of on-the-fence adoptive parents being moved to do so now! She hits the nail on the proverbial head of any number of salient issues/desires both a single woman and a Black woman would encounter in attaining parenthood in the public sector. Equally, she aptly portrays the joys, the rewards, and the rudimentary discipline that becomes packaged as true love. If the question was “can you come to love your chosen child as you would a biological one while wrangling motherhood without a partner?” Ms. Austin’s journey walks that talk forwards, backwards and double time! Timely written between the culture and climate of the opposite administrations of Obama and the 45th, she leaves no question left unturned as to the brand of consciousness required to raise Black children in this “This is America” era. A superb affirmation of Black Motherhood being so Black✊🏽.