A third of the way through and I haven't found out what dementia teaches us about love. Nothing I don't already know so far and I've found the writing a bit dry. Not for me, sorry. .

Free book offered covering dementia and love - who knows what the future holds?? Thought this could be a useful guide one day...

My mother has dementia so I had high expectations for this book - it did not disappoint.
Nicci Gerrard deals with this difficult subject sensitively and I could identify with many of the experiences of the dementia sufferers, their carers and families.
It is a moving yet supportive narrative of the impact dementia has on everyone involved.

Thank you to Netgalley for an advance copy of this book.

‘Because they have gone from us, they can come back to us and be all the selves they have ever been’, writes Nicci Gerrard towards the end of her exploration of dementia, prompted by her own experience in caring for her father. For anyone who has experienced a parent, partner or close friend becoming slowly effaced by this cruel disease, her calm acceptance of death not only makes sense but is of some comfort. But why would we long for the death of one much-loved? Only because they are living in some frightening, murky twilight where terrifying figures dwell and confusion reigns.
‘But that’s not my experience of how people live with dementia,’ any reader might respond. And Gerrard acknowledges this. Her thorough research, alongside the many interviews and opinions quoted, remind us that everyone’s experience of living with dementia is different. This is neither a comforting nor an easy read. For the one person who accepts the disease, there are many more who rage against it or feel utterly impotent in its clutches.
Gerrard also reminds the reader of the carer’s role, not always recognised for its importance by the medical services or the state. ‘John’s Campaign’, named after her father, has been set up with the aim to provide those hospitalised with dementia better care after she saw just how quickly he declined in an institutional setting. To improve something out of a family’s grief is commendable and Gerrard has done this not just through the setting up of the campaign but also through the writing of this book. An excellent balance of the academic and the personal, I am sure that it will be of huge help to others caring for those with dementia. There is no ‘one size fits all’ guide and there is no one thing that will bring comfort. In this situation knowledge is not power; however, it is better than the silence that has accompanied this dreaded prognosis in the past.
My thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House UK for a copy of this novel in exchange for a fair review.

This is really beautiful. It's part memoire, part self-help book. There's a careful balancing of anecdote and fact. It's lovely to read all the stories of people going through the experience of caring for someone with dementia, and the figures backing p the points lent the book legitimacy. I found it a very helpful guide to get me through a tricky time. Sensitive and beautiful.

I have read previous books by Nicci Gerrard and her partner using the name of Nicci French.
Nicci is a campaigner for Dementia. This is a book about Dementia and how it affects the individual and family. Dementia is so frightening a concept to think of going through it individually or to care for a loved one with it.
Nicci writes of her father’s life and how dementia affects him physically and emotionally and how the care system fit in around his care. Nicci shares stories of others in the same situation. Ways of coping for the individual as well as the family are offered.
This was a lovely read and may be a support for those wishing to have knowledge on the subject or going through Dementia
I would recommend.

Sensitively written exploration of a cruel disease that affects so many of us. Nicci Gerrard looks at the impact of dementia from the points of view of all the family and carers touched by it. A thoughtful, empathetic read.

Thanks Netgalley and the Author. I can relate to this book as my Mum has dementia and has not know me or anyone for over a year and is not basically a vegetable but nevertheless I love her as she is. This book put things back in perspective for me.

Nicci Gerrard’s elegant prose explores dementia and its impact on individuals - those with dementia, and the carers and families that support them.

A carefully researched and well-considered examination of the topic, and a real tribute to Nicci’s father John – after whom ‘John’s Campaign’ now endeavours to provide those with dementia in hospital settings additional support and increased access to their loved ones.

An important read.

This is a beautiful and poignant book dwelling on Dementia and the peripheral effects it has on everyone connected with the sufferer.
Particularly relevant to me, with a family member who has vascular dementia, I found so much of it was so down to earth, so pertinent.
In fact there were times when I had to stop reading and come back later, the emotions were so deeply observed, especially the chapter dealing with the Carers role.
Such a thoughtful and empathetic book. thank you for a review copy.

Nicci Gerard’s book feels like part thesis and part very human tribute to her wonderful father and others whom she has interviewed and who have lived with a loved one’s dementia.
I did find the more academic parts of the book interesting - for example on the nature of memory and trauma - but I was much more interested in and moved by the personal reflections.
Having lost my father very recently, I was also very inspired by Nicci’s campaign to improve the treatment of carers - and in turn those they care for - in hospital. Her descriptions of how people are and should be treated at the end of life were so tender and really resonated with me.
An important book that I very much enjoyed.

Although this is a difficult subject it is an essential read if we are ever able to move forward successfully with a sympathetic system of care and understanding of this awful disease.

I have first hand experience of caring for a parent with dementia and the way Nicci Gerrard describes things were very familiar. I understand the grief leading from the initial diagnosis, the disbelief, the feelings of loss and helplessness and a desperate need to be able to do something to make things better somehow.

I found this book easy to read, it was kind, the words flowed and resonated because the author has been there and has the skill to voice it eloquently. What encouraged me was the love shared in each experience, the desolation of loss but strength of character to care not only as a loved one but also as an initial stranger in a residential home or hospital.

I was able to read an advanced copy of this book thanks to Netgalley and the publishers in exchange for an unbiased review and would recommend it to anyone who has any kind of connection to this devastating, debilitating and dehumanizing illness. It showed me things I have to come while confirming others which I have experienced already making me feel less alone than before I read it.

A very moving and thoughtful insight into the world of dementia sufferers and their carers and families. Too often we hear the message that a dementia sufferer loses their entire personality, so that the person we once loved is no longer there. This book certainly doesn't downplay the hideous effects of dementia, and the devastating loss it inflicts on all affected, but it gives a very humanitarian message that there is still the possibility of love both to and from the person afflicted. This is a beautiful and hopeful book, and it should be recommended reading for anyone affected by dementia, and anyone involved in dementia care.