An interesting read that will bring out several different emotions in people. I found myself very uncomfortable but could put it down,

Was not what I was expecting at all. I had a tough time with the subject matter. DNF at about 60%. That aside, it will most likely be a popular title for thriller fans and I look forward to discussing it with them.

The topic of inappropriate student and teacher relationships is difficult to read and for a debut book, the author to draw the reader in just like that and not want to the put the book down, is a great feat. The book covers a wide range of emotions that I would or could imagine the character feels having never been in such a situation. At times, I disliked Vanessa and wanted to shake her awake and I disliked her teacher and wanted him to get caught. What an ending! The book is definitely a roller coaster ride of emotions, you want to jump off the moving train, can't watch the ending, but can't make herself stop reading the train wreck. I feel the book is timely given today's culture and the need to bring the reality of this issue to light. I would definitely read anything else by this author. My library did purchase it and I do recommend it to other readers.

Absolutely the best debut I have read in years! Beautiful writing,
Devastating and horrifying. I loved it.

As much as I loved this book, I struggled to like the narrator as a person. I thought this was an interesting, but flawed take on #MeToo.

A complex, timely novel which reflects the MeToo movement and adds an element of an age gap. A teacher takes advantage of a young student. It is morally ambiguous to the point where the reader questions the relationship alongside the narrator. Set in a familiar, this book is different enough to stand out. Recommended.

Hoo boy was this one interesting.Honestly I'm not sure if I mean that in a good way or a bad way. I know there was a lot of buzz on this one (it was even mentioned a few times when I was at PLA in Nashville) so I had to pick it up and read it, if only to see what all the hype was about. Aaaaannnnddd... I kinda wish I hadn't.

This is the story of Vanessa. As a teen, she has a relationship with her MUCH older teacher. Fast forward a few years and he is being accused of assaulting another student of his. This of course affects her in ways she didn't expect. My Dark Vanessa is NOT an easy read. It can be difficult to understand why she would continue a relationship that seems so gross, there's definitely some sex scenes I could have done without having in my brain, but I think this is an important topic that doesn't get discussed enough.

I have a few points I'd like to bring up, so let me get on my soapbox for a second. I knew there was some controversy with this book, so I looked into it to see what it was.Apparently, the author took some inspiration from another writer, who is a woman of color, in order to help her write the book, which is in part based on the author's own life. It seemed as though people were saying that because she was white she wasn't entitled to her own trauma. I understand that we need more representation and other voices in literature, and in no way am I minimizing what happened to the other author, but for a victim to be able to come forward and write through her own trauma, because of encouragement she got from reading someone else's story (which she CREDITS, I might add) is an incredibly difficult thing to do. I can remember watching an episode of Switched at Birth that reminded me very much of my own assault. To the point where they could have taken it straight from my brain. Does that mean I think they copied me? No, rather, I think it's a shame that so many women have had the same experience that it's a common enough theme for people to write about.

My second point of frustration with this book is that one of the other victims and the reporter seemed to shame Vanessa for not wanting to come forward with her own story originally. It's frustrating that people do this. I get that doing so would help the case against him, and prevent other girls from being assaulted, but it is NOT the responsibility of someone struggling with their own emotions to keep a grown man from assaulting other girls and she shouldn't be made to feel that it is. It's hard enough to deal with, women should be allowed to process things in their own time on their own terms. *end rant*

Clearly, I had some feelings about this book.

Innocence shattered as a young teen's relationship with her forty-two year old teacher crosses lines. At some points this is a very tough read as the manipulative English teacher inflicts trauma on Vanessa over the course of several years and, as a result, alters her life from that point forward. Well-written and honest, Russell's debut novel gives voice to a sexual abuse survivor and gives readers an in-depth look from a unique perspective.

I very much appreciate the publisher and NetGalley allowing me to download an ARC of My Dark Vanessa.

I am sorry that my review will not be a favorable one. I found the book one that I wanted to be done with because it was just irritating. Vanessa herself is a character so devoid of likability that she isn't someone I could make myself care about. I've read plenty of novels with unlikable protagonists, but the characters themselves were interesting enough to make up for it. My Dark Vanessa seems to be an extended episode of navel-gazing and it was exhausting to read. Is it really possible that in this woman's life she never met one male--other than her father who seemed okay in her eyes because he never seemed to require anything of her--who was decent? I understand that this is a novel centered on victimization, but it really seemed to be more a swipe at all teachers/instructors, all men, parents, adolescence, and aging itself.

While it would be easy to say that Strane ruined Vanessa's life, the story really doesn't paint that picture. And maybe that was the point, but a belabored one at best. Vanessa was obsessive and fixated on people she had relationships with before Strane. Her focus on Jenny was creepy. And Jenny's (and the other students') treatment of Vanessa during the expulsion from school era was pretty difficult to believe. Not unbelievable that they were cruel; that's entirely believable. But I doubt that any school at that point in history would have allowed the witch-trialish scene of Vanessa being forced by the school to stand in front of a group of kids and tell them she lied. Lawsuits were not unheard of in the early 2000s.

As an adult, Vanessa basically stalked Strane and sought to continue the relationship. Stockholm Syndrome maybe, I'm not sure. But at some point, adults must become responsible for their actions. I am not defending his relationship with an underage female and I am certainly not saying he didn't abuse his power over her as an adult and her teacher. He absolutely did. And there was an opportunity for the book to explore that, but it was squandered in favor of giving a bit too much page time to Strane's being old. Is the crime that he abused power or is the crime that of being old?

Perhaps most disturbing of all is that Vanessa's account reads like that of a jilted lover. Again, perhaps the point was that she was so emotionally damaged and so deep in denial that she was simply not functional, but if the reader is supposed to understand that she was abused even if she herself is in denial, the attempt fell flat.

Strane's suicide is convenient. It completely does away with any possibility that an adult Vanessa will confront her past. This is weak; Vanessa is allowed to remain a victim forever here, which seems to be the intent of the book. Women are victims. Men are monsters. Parents are incompetent. Schools are institutional evil. Mean girls are cool. These are tired tropes.

My Dark Vanessa could have addressed so many societal ills. It did not.

Struggled to finish this as I rather knew what the outcome would be. Definitely a title for book club discussion but not a title I would personally recommend. The subject matter was disturbing how easily teenagers are manipulated.

My book club was so mad about this book. They hated the book because of its content. Not me. I really liked it. It was hard to read at times, but it was real. I was into finding out HOW this type of thing happens. I had questions, if it were a male student would you think differently? Vanessa is a 15 year old 9th grader that gets groomed, manipulated, and ultimately raped by her 45 year old teacher. Why? How? What was she thinking? It was very complicated. They continued the affair long after she was 18. I started to understand how she could think this was ok, she loved him. She pursued him, so she thought in her 15 year old mind. This was enraging, but very interesting. Lolita anyone?

Unnerving and unique, this is a book I won’t forget for a long time. The writing in this book was wonderful and I look forward to many more from this author.

In the #metoo era, when past allegations of school teachers and college professors are finally making it to the surface, Kate Elizabeth' Russell's My Dark Vanessa is like a pulse lever for the times.
Vanessa, a boarding school student who has become estranged from her best friend, begins a disturbing affair with one of her teachers who is 20 years older than her. In dubious sex scenes in which consent is clearly violated, Russell depicts with incredible accuracy what so many young women have struggled their whole lives after being sexually abused, and the ramifications that this has in their adult lives.
Certainly not an easy subject to tackle, but Russell, through Vanessa, does so in a way where we are left feeling hopeful and relieved that after living through a nightmare, things can change for the better.

Well, its dark, that's for sure. I started out okay with it, I hate to use the word "enjoy" for a story on this topic. It then felt like it was dragging on. I get that there was the jump in time to get to more present day, so it was needed, but...this just wasn't for me. I think the perspective is important, and the trauma this can cause to young girls that lasts longer than the incident is important so 5 stars for that part.

Quite an extraordinary read. Timely and necessary, but not always easy to read. The characters were relatable and rich and deeply flawed. #stayathome

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell will wring your heart out and leave you crying in the corner of a room for the main character Vanessa. At a very early age, she begins a relationship with her teacher at boarding school. This relationship will have many ramifications as she grows up and goes to college before entering the workforce. What's interesting is seeing the role of this relationship play out through her eyes even as you, the reader, sit back and know what direction it's headed in. Lots of grimacing and feeling uncomfortable while reading this book but in a way that makes you feel totally invested in Vanessa. Read and enjoy!

Sitting here after just finishing the book and trying to think of the best way to express my thoughts. My Dark Vaness was so raw, so real, infuriating, heart-breaking, and eye-opening. I truly am amazed at how spectacular this book was put together. It is very uncomfortable, but the book would have failed if it wasn't uncomfortable; this should not be an easy subject. It it had been a comfortable read it would have failed. Many times I wanted to stop reading because I was uncomfortable, but I needed to see Vanessa's story through. I needed to be with her as long as I could. And in the end, I am left with hope.

Written from the perspective of a girl who was abused and groomed to see nothing wrong with what happened to her. My heart broke for Vanessa because it is easy to sit on the sidelines and say what she should have done, what you would do, etc. But the extent of her abuse was such that she truly felt she was the monster, and not her teacher, who took advantage of her. And at that, my heart aches for all of the people experienceing anything like this. And thank you Kate Elizabeth Russell for helping me to fully see and understand gaslighting and just how dangerous it can be. For Vanessa, a decade later and she is still a victim.

I am thankful that the story was not tied up neatly with bows, instead it was left open. Vanessa is not finished, so her story should not be either. All the layers, the semblances, the repetition; the let downs by people in authority positions.

I know a 5 star is a bit odd for this type of story, but honestly the book was damn near perfect in my eyes. A part of me wants to go back and devour it for other clues and other ways of reading it. I want to read everything Strane pushed on Vanessa to fully understand what he did to her. I want to be armed with that knowledge. I know the story kind of dragged on a bit, but like I said in the beginning, I don't think the story could have been told any other way. Readers needed to see how Strane fucked up Vanessa's life; we needed to see the long lasting effect it had on her.

My Dark Vanessa is extremely, extremely uncomfortable. I usually finish books in 2-3 days, this took me 2-3 weeks. The book follows Vanessa as she looks back on her relationship with a teacher in her boarding school. Russell does an amazing job at presenting the internal conflict of someone who may not be ready or even want to confront or condemn their abuser. It was just really hard to read.

This was a tough one, which I was prepared for considering it’s description, but it literally put me in a bad mood reading it. The writing is great, and I think the author does a good job of showing the perspective of a young girl who has experienced sexual trauma but is unable to come to terms with it even in her adult life. What made this so tough were the many explicit scenes of rape, not to mention the fact that the man was a pedophile which added a whole additional layer of horribleness. I had to start skimming about halfway through because I couldn’t stomach a lot of the scenes, but I wanted to see how Vanessa’s story progressed.

Basically, I think this book has value, but it doesn’t shy away at all from the incredibly difficult subject matter. I’d only pick it up when you’re feeling up to tackling a really heavy read, and of scenes of sexual assault are triggering for you, I’d pass on this.

Such a heavy book - I couldn’t stop reading but yet, I had to stop often and take a break because of how disturbing the subject matter was. Even though it was a consensual relationship between Vanessa and her much older teacher, ultimately, she’s only 15! It was a complicated bond between the two as Vanessa admitted to being an “enabler” so it wasn’t a simple “the older man taking advantage” type scenario. A very interesting and unsettling read!