Big 5 stars. This book was powerful, disturbing, enthralling— equal parts hard to read and unputdownable. Vanessa is probably one of the most complex characters I’ve ever read. The author captures her complicated feelings about her relationship with Strane in a way that helps the reader understand and feel what she’s going through when it all comes to the surface in 2017 during the height of the #MeToo movement. The back and forth between past and present adds more layers to the story. Highly recommend for anyone who has read Lolita, as that is a huge part of the story throughout the entire book.

Thank you to NetGalley & HarperCollins (William Morrow) for sending me an advanced copy of this book.

Today (2/1/20), in the wake of a controversy over the originality and origins of this haunting book, Kate Elizabeth Russell issued a press release stating that she had been working on My Dark Vanessa since her teenage years and that Vanessa’s story is based on her own experiences. While this is yet another indication of underlying issues in the publishing industry, it in no way diminishes the importance of this book. In telling the story of a young teenaged girl who is sexually abused by her considerably older boarding school English professor, My Dark Vanessa raises important issues about the nature of sexual abuse of an underaged person, the power relationship between teacher and student, older experienced man and inexperienced near-child, and the ways in which a person rationalizes or is manipulated to rationalize what should be a horrible situation. Russell’s prose pulls no punches and leaves the reader with much to consider after reading the novel’s last words. My Dark Vanessa will appeal to readers who welcome challenging reads and who wish to explore perhaps unpopular aspects of the #meetoo movement.

This book was dark with a capital D, designed to make the reader feel uncomfortable. Can't say I enjoyed reading it, and some of the suspense was lessened by one of the characters' story lines ending in the middle of the book, but the writing was beautiful. A meditation on guilt and how to grapple with your own story in the #metoo era.

WOW. My Dark Vanessa is a story I will carry with me forever. I have yet to read a book that is anything like this one.


It follows the story of 15 year old Vanessa who is returning for her second year at a prestigious boarding school and falls in love (if we can call it that) with her English teacher, Strane, who is well into his 40s. The story jumps between two timelines: 2017, present day, Strane is being accused of sexually assaulting multiple underage girls at the school over the years and 2001, when their relationship first began and how it progresses.

I feel like the author represented a victim of this kind of abuse and toxic relationship with vulnerability and transparency. Many times Vanessa expresses that she was not abused, events were consensual, even that she may have initiated the contact first. But, as time goes on, she reflects and grows enough to see past her 15 year old lens and identify how this one relationship has truly drawn her life path thus far.


I can't stop thinking about this book. As an educator working with children of this age, it baffles me how an event like this could happen, even if I know it does and has before. At Vanessa's initial age, she has yet to even really understand what life is and how it is fully hers--Strane takes away many choices from her without explicitly stating so.


As a lonely 15 year old, what do you do when an older man is interested in you? What about when he asks before touching you? Making sure you're comfortable 80% of the time? How do you process that when your brain hasn't fully developed and you can't see a life outside of the teenage one you have now?


An applauding 5/5 stars.

Every time this book switched from one time to another, I thought the time I was reading about was my favorite. That's a testament to the strong writing and voice of this novel. Vanessa is groomed, yes, but she also made a lot of choices and even though I didn't like her choices or approve of her choices I understood her as a person/character and why she was making those choices, and that's a hard thing for an author to do!

I think this novel might get grouped as a #metoo novel and while it certainly is, it's also a novel about a girl/woman who wants to be different, special and a man who makes her feel that way (even though undermining her ability to determine for herself what makes her special) and that's a story the predates this time and will succeed this time.

I want to write a list pairing this with Tampa by Alissa Nutting and Boy Toy by Barry Lyga but I also don't want to write that for work!

I felt completely hallow once I finished My Dark Vanessa. This novel was dark, disturbing, and much heavier than I could have even expected. The story alternates between different periods of Vanessa Wye's life; one being her as a 15 year old as she begins her inappropriate relationship with her English teacher Jacob Strane, and the other taking place 15 years later. Vanessa is forced to reexamine her relationship with Strane after another one of his students publishes an article exposing Strane as an abuser.

I was captivated by this raw and haunting story. There were moments I could not stop reading because I needed to know what was going to happen to Vanessa. I had braced myself for the dark topic of this book but I was not expecting it to be so raw! The author did not shy away from the gruesome details and I appreciated that. I really enjoyed the book in general and definitely see myself rereading it in the future.

A book about a difficult subject that was hard to read at times. The author did a fine job of developing characters so that they weren't wholly good or bad.

Vanessa and her teacher Mr. Strade began a sexual relationship when she is 15. For most it is a black and white case of sexual abuse of a minor, but Vanessa does not consider this relationship to have been abusive because he said he loved her and she was a willing participant. She does not consider herself traumatized by the relationship and is still in touch with him. The story weaves back and forth between her time as a student and her current adult life. When more accusations come out about the teacher, Vanessa continues to deny that he did anything wrong. This book tackles a serious subject through the eyes of the victim as she tries to come to terms with whether she truly was the victim of a sexual predator. I feel the author does an outstanding job of putting the reader in Vanessa's head and allowing us to understand her choices. This book may be a difficult read for some people due to the subject matter, but I think it would lead to good discussions for book clubs. I liked this book and I highly recommend it. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this book.

Ito took me quite a while to finish this book, because it was so disturbing. Russell did a very good job of showing the main character, Vanessa, as a victim of child abuse who did not see herself as one. As a teen, Vanessa attends a boarding school where she is groomed by a teacher to become his willing lover. The author flips back and forth in time from the time of the initial contact at age fifteen to the character's early 30s where she is still unwilling to see herself as anything but a willing participant. It was really difficult to read, However, that difficulty underlines the power of the narrative. Vanessa is in such denial that she was abused that she continues to interact and defend the teacher even after proof that she was not his lone victim. It's heartbreaking as a reader to see how damaged she is - poor self esteem, drug/alcohol flags, lowered career and personal life expectations, while still confidently telling herself and others who reach out to her (an additional victim and a reporter) that she was a willing participant in their love affair, not a victim. Interesting perspective as this victim repeatedly declares that #metoo is not her story, while leaving a bleeding trail of downgraded expectations behind her.

This is the type of book where, after you finish reading it, you might want to just sit for a while and "process." Even after reading and reviewing it, I'm still sitting here thinking about this story and these characters. This is a hard book to give "stars" to.

Despite its "icky" subject matter, this book is addicting and readable. You don't have to read Lolita before reading this one. The pacing moved along rapidly for me. Plus ... there were a couple of dogs.

An important book to familiarize yourself with during the #MeToo movement. I'll be looking out for "Excavation" next ... Google comparisons between that one and MDV.

Thank you, Netgalley, for this arc.

I could not put this book down... It was disturbingly beautiful; Vanessa is a complex character and you can see her mind being massaged by Strane. This is the story of first love and the ways the mind may or may not be manipulated in to believing that. Job well done, Ms. Russell. Excellent resources (i.e. literature, music, movies, etc.) utilized!

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell is a devastating emotional page turner, Vanessa is just 15 years-old when she first attends a boarding school in the north east and garners the uncomfortable attention of her much older English teacher. The narrative, going back and forth in time, draws readers in as we desperately root for Vanessa throughout this unforgettable novel. I highly recommend this incredibly important book.

This book is excellent, although it definitely requires a trigger warning for those who have been abused or harassed. Vanessa Wye tells the story during three phases of her life: as a high school student at a prestigious boarding school in Maine; as a student at a liberal arts college; and as an adult at a disappointing job in a hotel. Vanessa spins the tale of her relationship with her high school literature teacher, Jacob Strane, and how it develops over time. Spin is the correct word, as Vanessa herself is conflicted at different times about the context of their relationship and exactly what happened and what it means about her. When other students come forward, especially in her adulthood and and during the Me Too movement, Vanessa's feelings become even more conflicted. One chapter that relates a session with her therapist is particularly compelling and well-written.

The author makes it clear in a statement at the beginning of this review copy that this book is NOT based on any actual events, that it is entirely a work of fiction. However, this book reads like a compelling true story. Heartbreaking and sad, yet with hope for healing.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell is a contradiction: superbly written and yet so hard to read. It is also a book about contradictions - a self-aware young woman who resorts to willful blindness to cope with her trauma; a weak, cowardly aggressor, an outraged society that resorts to victim-blaming. Russell has written a complicated book that revels in the gray areas.

Vanessa's journey is so painfully, gut-wrenchingly real. Strane's manipulations begin subtly and become more overt as Vanessa is "groomed" to his attentions. It is all so believable, which makes the story even more horrifying.

Here's one more contradiction: I didn't want to keep reading but couldn't put it down. Five bruised-heart stars.

This book took me longer than I anticipated to read. A deeply disturbing novel about a 15 year old girl who believes she's in a consensual relationship (sort of) with her 42 year old English teacher. The book goes back and forth in time, telling the reader Vanessa's story from her 15 year old self and her present day 32 year old self. She struggles with coming to terms with exactly what her relationship with her teach was, but she carries this relationship over into adulthood--analyzing where it was problematic, what was true, what was rumor, etc. in wake of the #MeToo movement. Her emotions, actions, and thoughts towards her teacher are compromised even further when other victims come forward years after she was a student at the school.

There is going to be tons of buzz surrounding this book--both good and bad. I think this book highlights the difficulty in processing trauma, defending ones abuser, and coming to terms with understanding manipulation. What I liked about it, is that it tells the story of abuse from a different perspective of victimhood--not everyone wants to share their story.

Honestly, this book was difficult to read. I found myself starting and stopping often because the nature/ content of the book is dark. Readers should be warned that the graphic content in the book is detailed and specific. That being said, I wish the chapters were a bit shorter and more contained--I needed a good stopping point to process what I just read.

Vanessa is a complex character, although I had some difficulty understanding her motivation in protecting her abuser. This ambiguity in acknowledging the reality of her past and present is, at times, frustrating for readers. After all the hype, maybe my expectations were too high.

Told in alternating timelines, My Dark Vanessa is a disturbing and poignant story about Vanessa, a fifteen-year-old student, and her relationship with her English teacher, Mr. Strane. Readers are first transported back to Vanessa’s initial interactions with Strane in the year 2000, where boundaries are strategically crossed and feelings are carefully manipulated. Flash forward seventeen years later, Mr. Stane is now the subject of several allegations of sexual misconduct from a number of his previous students. He contacts Vanessa, who tells him that she will remain silent about their relationship, but she finds that she is struggling with her feelings and her silence. Looking back at her adolescence, it appears that Vanessa begins to see the true nature of their relationship, but also reflects back on the thrill and attention that she felt as a teenager.

At first I thought that My Dark Vanessa would read almost like a Young Adult novel, but I was absolutely wrong. Russell’s writing was so clean and fluid that it added so much depth and poignancy to the story; with the simplest of phrases, Russell is able to convey the nightmare, the trauma, and the confusion of grooming and abuse. While undoubtedly difficult to read, I truly believe this novel is an important conversation starter.

As someone who works with future teachers, this was both a teaching and learning experience. Of course, I want all my future teachers to learn from the book, but more importantly to understand how young people (both male and female) are manipulated by predators.

Vanessa is a woman who has never made peace with, or grown past the time in her life when she was the victim of a teacher who was a pedophile. The saddest thing is how she holds her 15 year old self as the responsible perpetrator for all the damage that was done.

The book is beautifully written and endlessly engaging. The reader becomes a witness to the grooming process, the manipulation, the trade of secrecy for perceived love that predators use to entrap their victims. The depth of the feelings and insights make the reader feel that this is a memoir rather than fiction. Quite an accomplishment.

As a teacher for many years, I have seen this process in real life. I have watched young children lured by predatory adults who bribe them with promises of love or money. The witness is often ignored by authorities. It was not until recently that there were actual reporting channels to bring these criminals to justice.

I will add this to my seminar reading list since all educators must read this.

I thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this extraordinary novel.

Vanessa is struggling to find her place at the boarding school she begged to go to. That is until she meets Mr. Strane. Her English teacher who is consistently impressed by her and showers her with his attentions. Eventually it leads further than compliments and at 15, she is in a full blown secret relationship with a 40+ year old man.

That’s the basic background for this book, but it is so much more than that. This book was infuriatingly well done. I wanted to scream while Strane manipulated and abused her. I wanted to cry when she continued to insist she wasn’t abused and that it was a mutual loving relationship. This book points out what is truly happening when a man in power uses that power to abuse someone beneath him, whether they realize at the time that they are being manipulated or not. It’s an important read that I highly recommend everyone check out.

I pulled an all-nighter to read this book. It's unbelievably good. A horrifyingly real and complex study of the psychology of "grooming" and abuse. I'm in awe.