Psychologically thrilling debut novel by Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa is essentially a play by play account of an affair between Vanessa, a teenage student and her English teacher, told from the perspective of Vanessa. Russell’s writing is captivating. Carefully depicting the explicit thoughts of a teenager amid a traumatic experience and how the undeveloped brain responds to such trauma. You get a vivid picture of how a predator uses manipulation tactics to groom a young woman into thinking that she is experiencing true love and devotion. It really is a deep dive into the psychology of a teenage girl’s brain and how irrational it is. As a woman myself, I could identify with Vanessa at times and imagine how a young, intelligent woman like herself can end up in an unfortunate situation, and how the people you are supposed to trust can fail you.

There are a lot of references to Nabokov’s Lolita. In fact, you can describe this book as a sort of modern retelling from the point of view of Lo herself. I recommend this book to lovers of fiction, psychological thrillers, as well as to people interested in true crime, non-fic psychology, or to those of us following the #metoo movement.

Disturbing, captivating, dark, relevant, thought-provoking - all words I'd use to describe this book. This book is definitely well written and held my attention, but I would say it's not for everyone. Not sure how I felt about the ending, but I don't know how I would have ended it.

A dark and difficult book to read but I think that this would be a great book for discussion. Kate Elizabeth Russell does a fantastic job of putting the reader into the mind of Vanessa and her struggle to come to terms with what happened to her as a teenager.

3.5 stars, rounded up. This was such a difficult read.

As the summary suggests, at fifteen years old Vanessa enters into a sexual relationship with her English teacher. The rest of the book outlines the multi-year relationship while flashing forward to her teacher dealing with multiple allegations of sexual assault of girls. Vanessa's initial (and sustaining) romanticized acceptance of her teacher's actions is heartbreaking, as is the culmination of her analysis of her relationship. It was a little annoying how much Russell wanted to hit the reader over the head with the Lolita comparisons, though; Vanessa's constant references to it got old quickly.

Overall, I can't, in good conscience, recommend it to anyone because it's a horrific exploration of abuse (and it is abuse, even if Vanessa or Kate Elizabeth Russell say otherwise) and how abusers manipulate their victims.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a DRC of this title for review purposes. All opinions are my own.

OOOF. This was a hard book to read. Not because it was bad, but because it was actually so, so good and the topics it tackled were brutal to look at head-on. Told in two timelines, one when Vanessa is a student at a private boarding school, and one in current time, where she is a 30-something dealing with the fall out of what happened to her old professor. After arriving at her new school, Jacob Strane, her English teacher, takes an interest in her and their relationship progresses rapidly. Now, looking back on it, Vanessa is determined to keep up the illusion that the whole thing was a relationship and not something abusive. It's nothing like what the other girls who are accusing him of, the power plays that left them weak and ashamed. Because Vanessa was in control, even if nobody else believes her. Strane always asks her before doing anything and she remembers giving consent. And that can't be abuse. Or rape. Or anything of the sort, especially since she went back to him after turning 18. Because it if was abuse, or rape, or pedophilia, then what did she commit the last 7 years of her life to?

Highly recommend. This is a dark, gritty read.

Russell did a really great job with this very tough subject - in high school Vanessa begins having an affair with her English teacher, and then the story goes back and forth between the past and 2017 when more allegations against the teacher surface. When women start to come forward about the abuse they faced from this teacher, Vanessa has to face what happened and her own feelings about her relationship with him. This is a difficult read, but very compelling and well done.

This book made me curse, shout, clap and punch my fist in the air -- dark, disturbing (only because it is so easy to identify with) and completely absorbing (in the same way drowning would be). You don't want to put it down, and once you do, you absolutely cannot stop thinking about it, I'm still thinking about it!

Russell has created a riveting story and deep dive into a complex and beautifully crafted main character. Well-written and compelling examination of the potential long term and widespread effects of sexual abuse.

I received a free ARC of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Very well written, compulsive read. I read this within a day and will be recommending it to patrons who want a grittier more realistic Whisper Network, Speak, or Lolita

Powerful, moving story about a vunerable student at an East Coast boarding school. Vanessa's complicated relationship with her English teacher extends far beyond her school days and shapes her life choices. Vanessa views herself as special, unique, and loved. She believes she is a willing participant in a difficult relationship but readers will have a different interpretation.

I was unsure about this book at first due to the subject matter. After some glowing reviews from colleagues I decided to give it a try. They were right - it is absolutely excellent, and approaches the subject of grooming and child abuse with nuance and empathy. The protagonist does not believe herself to have been abused but, as the story goes on, the reader clearly sees how her experience has influenced and damaged every aspect of her life. The story is told in such an engrossing and sensitive way that you completely understand Vanessa's thought process. It's unforgettable. The debut of a very talented author.

I had the complete and utter fortune of reading Kate Elizabeth Russell's *My Dark Elizabeth* months before its publication, and I feel confident in saying that this is going to be one of the most significant novels of 2020.

This books spend its time predominantly in 2000/2001, following 15-year-old Vanessa as she is groomed and manipulated by her much older teacher, and also in 2017 in the midst of the #metoo movement as at least five girls come forward against the man Vanessa considers to be the love of her life. Unsettling, hard to stomach, horrifying, and blood boiling, this is the best depiction of an abusive relationship and surviving the emotional and physical effects of abuse that I have ever seen. As a survivor of intimate partner violence and sexual abuse, Kate Elizabeth Russell has hit every nail on the head with this in ways that I have truly never seen expressed in writing before. Russell's writing is both beautiful and haunting, and it kept me coming back to finish in less than 24 hours even though the content literally made me nauseous.

While Vanessa's story is different from mine in the sense that she does not see herself as a victim of abuse, I know that this message will ring true with so many people. This is a necessary and vastly important narrative that I think will only become more needed as it ages. Like a line Vanessa says in the book, this novel feels a bit like home. Too many of us understand what that's means. I'm going to pre-order a physical copy and I'm going to revisit it when I need to. The content is horrifying but the writing and authorship is literal perfection. If you are in a safe enough place to read this, I cannot recommend it enough.

An interesting, yet heartbreaking, examination of a young victim of a serial abuser. Recommended for fans of Eileen or What Was She Thinking.

My Dark Vanessa was a powerful book about a dark subject that I wasn't sure I wanted to read. As disturbing as it was I think it's going to be one of those must-reads that people shouldn't shy away from.

A modern Lolita for today's world. A dark and twisted tale of a professor's manipulative relationship with a young student. I didn't want to read this book, but I couldn't put it down.

Loner student Vanessa is lured into a toxic relationship with her English teacher at a private New England high school that lasts years. The story alternates between present day when Vanessa is in her late twenties and when she was in high school. The present day narrative weaves in topical references to the #metoo movement as other former students speak out and Vanessa is forced to make the decision of speaking out against her former teacher. Flawed, sometimes disturbing characters combined with a compelling and introspective style (the story is told exclusively from Vanessa's point of view) make for a believable, unforgettable, heartbreaking story.

What a creepy and twisted tale. A completely successful modern take on LOLITA with a noir bent. It’s an absorbing and terrific debut.

A gripping and intense debut. MY DARK VANESSA packs a punch. Russell's writing is superb and carefully crafted, both in terms of individual words and in how the plot is strung together. The reader immediately sympathizes with the main character and is carried along her journey as she is taken advantage of and abused by an older teacher at her school. The emotions are complex and handled beautifully. This novel may not be the best fit for highly sensitive readers, but it's incredibly well done.

Wow! This book was dark. It may be a difficult read for some as it deals with sexual and emotional abuse of a young girl at the hands of a much older man (and a man in an authoritative position) . I love how the author explored the many complicated emotions that Vanessa experienced as a teen (when the abuse occurred) and emotional aftermath she experienced as an adult. Wow, wow, wow. I had to put this down a few times but it is so well written that it sucks you back in. Highly recommend but do so with caution due to the sensitive content.

This disturbing, all-too-true story of “abuse that looked like love” is an adult book, but should be required reading for every teen girl. So much more than a retelling of Lolita.