Vanessa gets the opportunity of a lifetime when she wins a scholarship to the prep school Browick at 15 years old. Sheltered and estranged from her best (and only) friend, Vanessa is ripe for the picking. So when her new English teacher shows interest in her writing and indeed, in her, the flattery is enough to enable an abusive, intense relationship with ramifications that will follow her for the rest of her life.

Difficult to read and graphic in parts, the novel will stay with the reader for a long time.

I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Dark and emotionally raw novel about a vulnerable young girl who is groomed and seduced by a teacher. Vanessa is deluded into believing that she is special and depends the man to her own peril for over a dozen years.

The novel is relatable and heartbreaking.

This book was so powerful and really allowed the reader to follow Vanessa through her journey! The authors work is phenomenal and I think it s powerful and timely piece of literature that should be shared,

At 15, Vanessa had an affair with her teacher, who was in his 40s. Now in her 30s, she’s reckoning with her history as the #MeToo movement rages around her, and as other former students come forward to accuse this teacher. This novel offers a very nuanced psychological portrait of someone looking back at her story and revising it, as so many of us have been doing in the past couple of years. Readers who liked Hanya Yanagihara 's A Little Life and Gabriel Tallent's My Absolute Darling will like this one.

Stephen King has a teaser on the cover, calling the book “A well-constructed package of dynamite.” I would agree, but don’t let the fact that King is praising it lead you to think it’s a thriller. It’s not. So what’s it about? Think of it as a <Lolita> for the “Me-Too”era. The narrative shifts in time from 2000, when Vanessa, having grown up in a small, sleepy town not far from Acadia, gains admission to an elite New England prep school - and 2017, when she is on her own, living in Portland (ME), and trying to come to terms with what she experienced, her role in it, how it’s affecting her present, and the choices she faces in trying to find resolution, gain closure, and move forward.

Unsettling, tragic, and thought-provoking.

This is such as beautifully written book! It's a hard read because of its subject matter but I think its a necessary read. Reading Vanessa's story was devastating. Russell's convincingly writes about how a young girl can be groomed to the will of a predator. Yet she also shows how hard it can be to accept that a predator targeted you. Vanessa struggles with her feelings. She initially feels powerful because she feels that she has power over Strane, her teacher. She feels that she can make him wild with passion for her. It makes her feel mature and loved, two things she desperately wants to be. It gives her an initial sense of agency and euphoria. Only slowly does she learn that Strane had targeted her from the very beginning. Watching the fallout from this realization was painful to read. I truly empathized with Vanessa, even as I found some of her behavior troubling.

Russell is a wonderful writer with amazing insight. I look forward to more of her works in the future!

A gripping journey inside the mind of a woman, Vanessa, who is trying to come to terms with the sexual and emotional abuse she experienced at the hands of her predatory teacher, with whom she believes she is still in love with.

Vanessa is in early 30s and working as a concierge at an upscale hotel in Portland, ME when Taylor, a younger victim of Jacob Strane, an English teacher at the same boarding school Vanessa briefly attended, goes public with her accusations of sexual misconduct. Told in chapters set in the past and present, the reader comes to understand that Vanessa’s trauma is much more severe than she is able to accept.

It would be so easy to brush off this as a #MeToo Lolita, but it isn’t the sensationalized scandal but rather its aftermath that makes this novel unforgettable. Vanessa’s entire life, and how she views herself and other people, is warped by her experiences. This is a not a feel good novel, but it is an important story that needs to be told. Highly recommended, but note there are graphic depictions of teen sex abuse.

This is a debut that you’re going to want to read. I have so many thoughts about this book that it’s difficult to organize them.
Let me start by saying that I subscribe to the position that a 15 yo girl is not capable of giving consent. It has less to do with her body than her mind which is not yet fully mature and her experience which is limited. Undeniably for an adult male to take advantage of that is wrong, a crime.

Having said all that, this narrative presents a more nuanced picture of what that scenario might look like in real life….how a “sick” relationship is “sick” because of the people in it regardless of their ages….how a young girl desperate for attention might willingly attract a certain type of man.

This book reminded me of something that happened in my high school. A teacher got divorced and started secretly dating one of his students, a senior. Living in a small community, it was impossible to keep that secret for long. There was a huge age difference and he had children nearly her age. After she graduated they got married and went on to have a family. What I recall most is that while the community was slightly scandalized, everyone sort of normalized it after they got married. Today it would be considered child abuse and the teacher would be terminated. Just an example of how views have changed over time.

So I think you should go into this with an open mind…it doesn’t pull any punches about the devastation this can cause in the lives of the people involved and it will give you a lot to think about that isn’t black or white. Isn’t that what the best fiction does?

Although this was a very difficult book to read because of the dark subject matter, it was the type of book you couldn’t stop reading. The author does a great job writing a coming of age story with sexual abuse at the hands of a much older teacher. The book goes back and forth in time depicting the after effects on the teenager as she matures into adulthood. The author excels at delving into the minds of the abuser and the abused. The manipulation of the abuser on his prey as they try to determine if it’s the love they are craving or sexual abuse is portrayed throughout. #MyDarkVanessa #KateElizabethRussell #NetGalley

Wow. That was a weird ride that reminded me a lot of Lolita in some ways. While well-written and compelling, I definitely had some trouble reading some of it. It was a great and terrible story rolled into one. I certainly felt a bit gross, but commend the author on writing such a realistic novel! Thank you for letting me read it early. I will definitely buy it for the library as there will be readership here.

Thought provoking book. The subject of the relationship between the two main characters is haunting. At times it was difficult to read due to the nature of the relationship. However, the book is written brilliantly. I couldn't wait to see where the book went with their story. I love the perspective it is written from at different times of the main character's life. I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys intense difficult subject novels.

A darkly powerful novel dealing with the issues surrounding a 15 year old girl and her relationship with her 40-something English teacher at a prep school in Maine. Vanessa, as an older woman looking back, will still tell you what they had was not wrong, was not rape, was nothing more than two people who were in love. The book moves back and forth between the 15-year-old Vanessa, exploring her feelings for the first person who understood her, who saw her for the mature, wise, and beautiful woman she had always hoped to become, and Vanessa as an adult, struggling in therapy to define what this formative relationship cost her, what it means to her going forward, and whether she can or should expose this older man for who and what he is/was. Clearly, Vanessa was underage and what Strane (the teacher) did to and with her was wrong, and there is room for outrage and shock, but there are layers which pull the reader down into the darkness of what made it all possible, and this layers are what make this so compulsively readable despite the taboo of the subject matter. Vanessa’s struggle to make sense of her feelings then, and as an adult is painful to witness. The ways in which victims are pressured to tell their story even when they would rather not, and the question about what constitutes complicity and when it becomes absolutely necessary to bring it all into the open are all part of the bigger story, but the raw struggle to heal old and very deep wounds is what this story is really about.

A 15 year old girl receives attention from her English Teacher at her boarding school. At 15, hormones are coming into play and Vanessa believes she wants the attention the teacher is giving her, and goes so far as to claim she is responsible for his advances. As the advances are happening, the reader will learn what she is thinking and really feeling. Warning: You will be nauseated reading this, but not because it is overly graphic. A 42 year old man is able to convince a 15 year old girl she wants his advances and even lets her protect him. She can see signs that he is abusing others, but she says nothing because she believes she is special and he loves her.
It is painful. It is excruciatingly realistic. Those who have had similar experiences with older men will find it very relatable. In the era of #Metoo, it is needed.

This really is an exceptional book and provides an interesting perspective on trauma, consent, complicity, victimhood, and so much more. Vanessa is a complex character and while unlikable at times you can't help but think that that's a result of such a troubled adolescence. As many will mention, this book comes with several trigger warnings, but it is also an incredibly important novel in today's climate. I applaud Kate Elizabeth Russell for handling a sensitive topic with equal parts candor and sensitivity. This novel would be an excellent selection for book clubs as it provides so many opportunities for thoughtful and thought provoking discussion. A must add to collections, most definitely.

Every once in a while I come across a gem of a book. One of those stories that is so well-told, I feel like I have been given the gift of hours upon hours of captivating, beautiful writing. My Dark Vanessa by debut author Kate Elizabeth Russell is one of those novels. It should be said upfront that while Russell's writing is exquisite, the characters deliciously deep and dark, the plot compelling, this is not at all a pretty story. Rather, My Dark Vanessa deftly deals with a very insidious topic - the sexual abuse of a child at the hands of a trusted teacher. This is one of those stories that will make you cringe at the content, but continue to turn the pages because the author examines all sides of a taboo topic so absolutely well.

Vanessa Wye is a fifteen year old boarding school student when she lands in Mr. Jacob Strane's English class at the turn of the millennium. Mr. Strane, forty-two, quickly takes an interest in Vanessa's poetry, the way she examines the world around her with depth, and how she doesn't seem off-put by his illicit advances toward her. He preys upon Vanessa's need to feel worshiped and loved, and pretty soon, the two are entangled in each other's lives and a forbidden affair.

Fast forward to the year 2017. Vanessa, who at thirty-two is still reeling from the effects of what happened to her as an impressionable teenager, is obsessed with the latest scandal to hit social media - girls are coming forward accusing Mr. Strane of sexual abuse. As Vanessa watches her former lover's life spin out of control, she is pressured by those who know her secret to come forward with her own truth. But how can she turn against the man she adored and admired for all of those years? You see, to Vanessa, she willingly entered a mutual, loving relationship with her teacher. It wasn't rape. It wasn't abuse. It was love.

My Dark Vanessa is likely to be the most convoluted novel you read this year, but that is what makes it so phenomenal. Kate Elizabeth Russell is a master at exposing the psyche of the abused, and showing how through manipulation abusers maintain control over their victims. Vanessa is one of the most interesting and insightful characters I have encountered within the pages of a novel, and Russell writes her so well. Unlike so many other novels that explore this topic, Russell tells a believable story. She slowly builds the layers of Vanessa and Mr. Strane's relationship, making it not so far-fetched to surmise that a student may willingly become involved with her teacher, when in actuality, it is the teacher who has all of the control and power. Furthermore, Russell examines with precision how predators use their victims' own words and actions against them to create a false reality and hold their victims' to their secrets, continuing the abuse and trauma long into adulthood.

My Dark Vanessa is hands-down the best novel I have read in a long time. I found myself drowning in the pages of this book, no more able to save myself from the clutches of this tragic tale than Vanessa was able to save herself from the hands of her beloved Mr. Strane. Lovers of literary fiction should not miss this stand-out debut, which is sure to be one of the most buzzed-about books of 2020.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins for a digital ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

WOW. I truly cannot put eloquently into the right words as to how well this was written.

I loved how Kate Elizabeth Russell quietly, subtly built up Vanessa's character. I felt her writing came from a place of genuine knowledge, heart, and intent. You can tell that she researched, paid attention to, and understood the nuances and dynamics of the relationship between Vanessa and Strane. She paints a very detailed, but not drowned out picture of everything from the setting to the emotions you feel dragged along with. When Vanessa was sick, I was sick. When she was elated, I was too. And when she was in pain in her therapist's office crying, I cried too.

Everyone, especially every young girl and woman, should read this novel. It highlights the underbelly and unseen side to the headlines we read, it seems almost daily, in our news about these cases. As Stephen King blurbed it, "My Dark Vanessa" is truly "a well-constructed package of dynamite".

Everyone is talking about this book-- and rightfully so. It is a tough book to read, but accurately describes the mindset of someone who was groomed/abused for many years. The main character can be infuriating at time, but as the book progresses, you find out the reasons why -- and it is very raw, disturbing, and heartbreaking.

One of my benchmarks for a remarkable book is that I feel at least several emotions while reading it and think about the story well after I close the book. The key to reading this incredibly disturbing book is either read it in one sitting and go through a few minutes of screaming or take it in small doses to fully digest it with the same number of screaming sessions. The story is one of seduction and power between a young girl at a boarding school and her much older teacher. Vanessa is both the seduced and made to feel at times, the seducer. His power and subtle mind control mess with her head well after the physical relationship has cooled. It makes you want to punch him, shake her and hug her in equal measure. This powerful debut shines a light on the need to educate young women and men about manipulation, sexual predators and the power to say no. Disturbing and haunting, Vanessa's story is both as gentle as a first kiss and as devastating as mental and physical rape. Anyone with pre-teens should read this and have that talk. My thanks to the publisher for the advance copy.

Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read the early release of My Dark Vanessa, by Kate Elizabeth Russell. In exchange I will provide my honest opinions in review.

So hard to put into words how emotionally charged this story will leave you. It is certainly a novel that makes one think and tests your moralistic boundaries.
A truly amazing, modern day version of the classic Lolita, that brings those same moralistic issues and questionable behaviors, emotions of love and abuse, and the fines lines that distinguish right from wrong.
I thoroughly enjoyed this thought provoking perspective from such a young girl and her relationship with a man 20yrs her senior.
By far one of the best reads I have encountered this year. I am anxious to see what this debut author has in mind for her future writing endeavours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book will give you insight on some very controversial topics about consensual relationships and age gaps. A must read! There is always two sides to the story and that we should not be hasty to judge people or trust what people say is completely true.