This is a powerful book. I recognized traits and behaviors in myself and others that I never would have attributed to depression before, yet it makes perfect sense. I hope this work will not only bring relief to those struggling with depression, but also bring more understanding to mental health as a whole. There is an unfair stigma around depression that prevents many from getting the help they need, and that needs to change. Margaret Rutherford does an excellent job of explaining issues in layperson terms and without judgment. If you have ever known a perfectionist or been one yourself, you need to read this book.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for the digital ARC.

Perfectly Hidden Depression provides and in depth and easy to understand look into perfectionism and how it goes hand in hand with depression. Personal stories and exercises are provided throughout the book in an effort to provide context and tools. The author is shedding light on a very important aspect of depression that is incredibly relevant to today’s society.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

Perfectly Hidden Depression is a fantastic and informative book. This is a must read for the year. I learned a lot in this book and will buy it for some people I know when it comes out.

Goes through five stages of healing, understanding and living. There are reflections sections - throughout the book and are exercises, then someone's story/ information. progress through the information presented. Does give some information on a few disorders. There are 3 pages of references and 2 pages of resources for readers which can help the reader to go further. Good starting point to anxiety and depression.

You always meet your deadlines regardless of how you're feeling, you push forward through difficult circumstances and hide behind a facade in order to keep an appearance of having it all together. All because you don't want to be perceived as incompetent or weak, yet inside you're constantly battling with yourself, your feelings, and your self-worth. You've tried to line yourself up with the standard definitions of depression yet you never fully fit it due to your heightened sense of responsibility, your inability to recognise or share your feelings, and the high sense of control you constantly try to implement in your life. No one knows the real you because you never let them in. You're not comfortable with the reality of you so you pretend it doesn't exist.  If this sounds all too familiar to you, then you need this book.

After some harrowing experiences with patients, the author of this book noticed a pattern and began to put together the shape of this unique type of depression that often goes unnoticed and undiagnosed. Coined by the author, Perfectly Hidden Depression (PHD) can be the result of a variety of factors such as upbringing, ingrained beliefs, and personality traits. The author states that there isn't anything in the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual (DSM) on this type of depression but that this is an acknowledgement and an observation from her own professional experiences (which she details and provides resources for). The author believes PHD is a subset of depression that many practitioners miss because it doesn't present the way the DSM has listed. The author gives this list of defining features that make up someone with PHD:

Are highly perfectionistic and have a constant, critical,
and shaming inner voice.

Demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of
responsibility.

Detach from painful emotions by staying in your head
and actively shutting them off.

Worry and need to control yourself and your
environment.

Intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment to feel
valuable.

Focus on the well-being of others but don't allow them
into your inner world.

Discount personal hurt or sorrow and struggle with
self-compassion.

May have an accompanying mental health issue, such
as an eating disorder, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or addiction.

Believe strongly in counting your blessings as the foundation of well-being.

May enjoy success within a professional structure but
struggle with emotional intimacy in relationships.

Think of some of the shocking celebrity suicides that have happened recently in years, Anthony Bourdain, for example. Everyone thought he has this dream life and that he seemed like a generally happy and satisfied person. What if Anthony was the epitome of PHD? In that, he felt his personal value was only in his accomplishments, driven by how grateful he thought he should feel, and then feeling burdened and overwhelmed by the mask of achievement and perfection that he felt he had to wear. He also had addiction problems. If we knew more about people that presented with this perfectly masked depression we could provide them with better treatment and save them and those around them an immense amount of suffering.

"Anthony Bourdain was apparently not physically ill, not financially destitute, not concerned about getting his next meal, and not lacking in fame. In fact, he remarked he had “the greatest job in the world.”" - Toronto Sun, July 7, 2018

It's hard not to get personal in reviewing this book as I picked it up from Netgalley out of my own personal interest. After reading The Gifts of Imperfection eight years ago I worked through my own PHD, which at the time was just learning to be vulnerable again. I started talking and writing about my issues and the condition, dermatillomania, that still plagues me, something that would have been unthinkable before. I made steep headway with Brené Brown's book but it wasn't enough. This book feels like the acknowledgement and the validation I need to press forward in my own personal growth and happiness in terms of the regressions I have made at this point in my life.

The author of this book is shedding light on an area of depression that requires some serious attention. Her writing is personable, concise, insightful, informative, resourceful and clinical. I have already recommended this book to at least three people I know and I anxiously await its publication as I look forward to adding this to my permanent bookshelf.  At this time, I have not done the reflections recommended in the book as I was excited and anxious to get through all the content because of how alarmingly relevant I found it. I am now looking forward to re-reading the book and diligently doing the reflections which I believe will be immensely valuable. I've already started recommending this book which is due to be published on November 1, 2019. I highly recommended this book to anyone who feels they fit this description, and if you do, chances are you're reluctant to reach out for help, so start with this book, no one has to know. T

I read this book to gain insight on others who may be dealing with depression... but didn’t realize that I found a book that would personally affect me. PHD makes so much sense in hindsight, but at first I was just so confused. If you are a perfectionist, or a really hard worker, you might find yourself in this book and it’ll really make you think and ponder about your psyche. I’m also not a journaling person, but the activities were insightful. I would suggest this to other adults who may have this type of personality.

As a mostly-recovered, recovering-perfectionist, I read this out of curiosity and to see there were any new tips I could use (or just learn something new, in general). This is really good stuff. The author describes a set of recovery stages, and also includes lots of stories and wisdom from others; Great tips and techniques as well. There are also suggestions for dealing with triggers (and things that set you off) and how to handle a number of situations -- which is great.

She also heavily encourages readers to journal (ugh!), which I didn't do -- but I'm sure it's well-worth the effort. Make no mistake that if you're struggling, this book will help if you put in the effort while reading it; so it's obviously going to take some time to read and utilize. Highly recommended.

I really appreciate the complimentary copy for review!!

I read through this book in one setting! The information in this book is invaluable. This book is a must read for everyone- whether you are someone who experiences depression, know a loved one who does or someone just trying to understand depression better. There are so many things that the author brings to light for us all to be aware of- stigma around depression, self-awareness, self-compassion, gratitude, feeling our feelings, perfectionism, recognizing old patterns and the steps to take to really commit to ourselves to make lasting changes in our lives. The author teaches you what Perfectly Hidden Depression is, how to overcome stigma, what healthy coping looks like versus depression and perfectly hidden depression, the Five Stages of Healing and how to make a commitment to yourself to do the hard work. Throughout the book there are Reflection exercises to complete- I didn’t complete them yet but plan to when I re-read the book. The reflections will make you dig deep, will make things uncomfortable but not to worry the author provides suggestions and coping skills to help you through them.

Thank you to Netgalley and New Harbinger Publications, Inc for an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

Perfectly Hidden Depression is a very important book in today's times. One that may help many families and their loved ones who are struggling with this "invisible" disease. I see this all the time of people looking perfectly happy on the outside, and suffering an extreme amount of agony on the inside. I appreciate how the books points out that many of those suffering feel guilty because they apparently have great lives and so much going for them. Having a good life or having opportunities or being fortunate does not make someone less likely to suffer from mental illness. This book addresses every single doubt a "perfectionist" might have about their mental illness and seeking help.
Depression is a debilitating disease and I believe everyone needs to read this book. I also feel more empathetic to those who are suffering and feel too ashamed to seek help. I think this book can really help such people and encourage them to take the next step on the road to recovery.

Maybe the author could add some free lines or spaces at the end of each chapter or part as a "reflection" where the reader can write some notes about what they have learned.

I really resonated with this book. I seem to always have some level of chronic anxiety and depression and much of it all stems from my perfectionism. I am in a frenzy if someone wants to come over last minute and the house isn't perfect or if I haven't lost the baby weight after leaving the hospital after giving birth 48 hours late.r In my head I sometimes realize that things like these may be a bit silly, but somehow in the moment they never seem that way and it really takes a toll on my emotional health and my ability to be there for my family.

This book really helps to make the reader aware of issues like these and to also realize it is normal but doesn't have to be how you live your life. You can get the help you need and make the commitments to consciously do what you need to be happier (not just on the outside, but on the inside!) Learning to accept your imperfect self can be challenging and is something I know I am working on, but this book can really help give that motivation and outline those steps in order to make the appropriate changes necessary.