Thank you Netgalley for the e-book of Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival by Patricia Eagle in exchange for my review.

From the blurb: “In this richly depicted story, told in vignettes relative to markers of age and experience, Patricia Eagle reveals the heartbreak and destruction of her sexual abuse, from age four to thirteen, by her father. A victim of her father's anger and her mother's complacency with his abusive behavior, Eagle uses dissociation and numbing in response to the abuse, and as a way to block her own sense of self.”



Trigger Warnings for this book include sexual abuse of children.

This was a hard one to get through. I hate reading about any sort of abuse against children. It’s just heartbreaking. So I really struggled with it. Patricia Eagle writes honestly and I feel that it may have been rather therapeutic for her. It was an eye-opening account of all the abuse she endured at the hands of her father, with no help from her mother. She suppressed so many of these memories and they didn’t come to light until she was an adult. Who knows how much more she has suppressed still. Patricia Eagle has endured such a great deal in her life.

Being Mean by Patricia Eagle is a heartbreaking memoir of sexual abuse. The author has poured down the innermost feelings of her heart in narrating the readers how she survived the tortures of her father and how everyone else in the family kept thier eyes shut intentionally. It is not easy for a survivor to revisit those past traumatic memories, and penned them down on paper,but Patricia has done a commendable job in exploring the painful moments of her life to give those millions of girls a voice of protest, who are still struggling to raise their voice, who don't have anyone to share their problems. Through the mastery of her writing she has narrated each and every painful moments of her life with utmost care and attention. I think every woman should definitely read it, not only to sympathize with the author, but to learn from her mistakes and help other women to raise their voice against the injustice.

Highly recommend this work. A must read for everyone.

#BeingMean #NetGalley

This is a book written to give readers a look into Patricia Eagle's history with childhood sexual abuse and how it affected her as she made her way into adulthood and how her life was affected. I found myself sad, tearful, and joyful for her at different times in the book. Patricia's father was consistently abused her, and it was referred to as "being mean". Her mother knew about this, but did nothing to help stop it. I enjoyed hearing about her positive things throughout her life, and she is a very strong woman to have overcame this. I enjoyed her book.

I really enjoyed this book, perfect for those who read biographies and Memoirs. This book was generously provided to me through NetGalley. Highly Recommended!

Wow! What a tragic tale, what a brave brave woman! Very well written yet so hard to read. Not because you don’t want to it’s just so heartbreaking! Thanks NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review!

Thank you Netgalley and publishers for offering this book.
This book may be difficult to read for some. It was not difficult or bad in the sense it was written poorly. It was truly written well. It was difficult to read at times due to the nature of the material. I can only imagine what Patricia went through growing up. When children are forced to live a certain way, I can see how it can appear to be normal to them and that is the way things should be. Without having experience any other way, they would never know what is right or wrong. I can see that some may have triggered memories, but also may give others hope in escaping their abusers or situations similar to Patricia's . I hope that this book falls into the hands of many readers with hope that they can see that they are not alone, and with determination can fight back and get courage to stand up and begin the healing process. I recommend to all readers.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley!

Being Mean is a memoir about an incest/abuse survivor named Patricia. What she went through in her life is horrribly tragic. No one deserves that level of trauma. Especially not a child.
this book was difficult to read based on her life experience. But it was definitely a powerful memoir.

It's always a little challenging to write reviews of memoirs. How can you rip apart someone's actual life? Patricia Eagle's experience as an incest survivor is obviously heartbreaking and tough to read about. I truly admire her strength and courage for being honest enough to write about her childhood. I felt the most connected to the chapters where she focuses on what life was like for her as a child (especially as she was trying to navigate a truly terrible home life). However, it was harder for me to follow the thread of the rest of her life story. The numerous career changes, partners, and locations made it all feel a little muddled (which is, I suppose, how her actual life felt). I wish that Eagle had written more about her experience with repressed memories, which not enough people are educated about. I think this might have helped her story have more of a common thread of how the abuse affected her decisions and life choices. I'm not a huge fan of memoirs that focus a lot on nature and people's connection to it either, so I might have been the wrong audience for this. Overall, this was an interesting memoir that didn't quite go the distance for me. Unfortunately, I never really felt the overwhelming pain and confusion that was alluded to in the book.

Being Mean is a coming of age memoir if there ever was one. It was well-written and interesting. A unique documentation of sexual abuse in which the victim maintains a non-hostile relationship with the perpetrator.

This is a beautifully written and insightful look at Patricia Eagle's childhood sexual abuse and all the ways it affects her life as she becomes an adult. There are many places (mostly in the beginning of the book) that are tough to read, and I'd have to take a deep breath before continuing. (The beautiful prose definitely helped me get through it.) The author's father consistently abused her, and they called it "being mean". Her mom knew about "being mean" but did nothing to stop it. Patricia Eagle describes her confusion surrounding the abuse with such clarity that I hope this book becomes a beacon of light for other girls and women who have been sexually abused and for the rest of us who are on the lookout and protecting our children.

I appreciated that the author told the story in little vignettes about the different times in her life. Her colorful young adulthood in the 60s and 70s was really interesting to read about, even if I did want to reach in the book and tell her to stop making bad choices! As the book progressed, I always wanted to keep reading and find out what happened and if she found a way to heal. At the end Patricia Eagle deals with her aging parents and it got a bit long, but overall this was an excellent book.

I received a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Being Mean is a book by Patricia Eagle describing her dysfunctional childhood and sexual abuse by her father. This was not an easy nor enjoyable book to read. I hope the author finds peace through her writings.

Disclosure: I received this book free from NetGalley for review, but all opinions are my own.


Wow, what a read. From beginning to end, it was a real page turner.

The story is all too familiar, WARNING: there were some triggers, but I had to finish it. I needed to know what happened next. It's honestly a must read. It's not often that you come across a raw tale-tale book.

My favorite part of the book was Her Eulogy for her dad. Even after all she experienced, she still managed to speak good things about him, and that all he had taught her.

For me reading what Patricia Eagle wrote was simply closure, and I commend what she has done by being brave and sharing her story with us (readers).

This book was a challenging read on a difficult topic. That said I'm so glad the author had the courage to share her journey in such an open, honest and vulnerable way. When Patricia was a little girl she was sexually abused by her father and you can see the effects of that throughout her life as she shares stories from her various ages of her life. Patricia shows us that it is possible to heal, that recovery is not a straight line and she shares things that worked for her in the hopes of helping others as well. She helped shine a light on a difficult topic that most do not want to hear about but we all need to. The more it's talked about the more we can understand, the more those who were sexually abused can have hope that recovery is possible, the more people can heal. Thank you for sharing your story! Thank you to Netgalley and She Writes Press for an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

Did not enjoy the book
I had an ARC book
I didn’t really need to read anything else
I just didn’t like it

Oh wow!
That book was amazing! Sad, real, a book about surviving...
It was hard and difficult to read! it took me by surprise!
So real, so deep, so meaninful, so full of emotions!
I could relate to the start, how nobody cared, how nobody noticed... I was in tears!!!

WOW, just amazing! It really moved me!!!

Well written! The kind of book that stays with you for a long time!!!!

Patricia, you are BRAVE! Thank you for sharing your story! You are not alone, you are not forgotten! You matter, we care!

Thank you to NetGalley and She Writes Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I feel that writing this book was very therapeutic for the author and helped in her healing process. She writes with honesty and openness about her experiences.

What has been lived will never be erased, and possibly never be completely understood.

Being Mean was a term as violent as a loaded gun in Patricia’s household. Her memories of her childhood and the sexual abuse she was subjected to by her father, enabled by her cold mother isn’t easy to stomach. It’s a society built on silence, the weapon isn’t used solely by abusers but entire families because to confront the horror of what is happening is to admit a sort of defeat and vileness in one’s own home. To the victim, particularly when it starts at a tender age, there is a traffic jam in the brain because how does a child understand what is happening to them when there is a chaos of confusion and conflicting feelings? Our bodies feel good, so is that bad if what is happening is something you both hate and enjoy? How do you measure normal with nothing to compare it to, until you’re old enough to witness what an easy, natural, harmless affection is between father and child?

How often, through stories of abuse survivors, do we hear that when the victim tried to tell their other parent or a trusted family member they were ‘smacked across the face’ or deemed a liar, a bad girl/boy? Worse, jealousy- a mother jealous of the affections given to her child, affections that violate every cell of the little girl’s being. How do you grow up and not act out or struggle with impulses? It isn’t unusual for a woman’s body to turn against her, with the reproductive organs. It seems we bury our emotions there, a silent graveyard of transgressions. You may dissociate psychologically but the body knows, and it will revolt.

If this were a movie of the week, Patricia would out her father and there would be a trial, he’d be shunned at some point, her mother would rally behind her. This is real life, and real life is crooked. She is a sick woman, she remembers wrong, she is making it up right? No way did her Daddy do that! The reckoning never truly comes, Patricia will struggle with the abuse memories and her love for both her parents her entire life. There isn’t a magic word or moment that suddenly heals all, because like she said “what has been lived will never be erased”, it rises to the surface within her relationships with herself, her body and others. How can you ever truly understand such abuse? Children blame themselves when a parent harms them, be it mentally or physically. In Patricia’s case, her father was abusive towards her mother, each parent had their own scars in life but does that excuse or explain enabling sexual abuse? Is his violence towards her mother a reason to ignore her little girl was being exploited?

In this violent home, it was easier to just keep the peace. Mommy knew and did nothing. There was “one last time” at the age of 13, Patricia had to block it out in order to build a life. College was her way out, the only escape. Sexual promiscuity, abortions, abusive relationships, a young marriage that feels like falling off a cliff, drugs to numb her mind and body, these are just more escapes labeled adventure. We journey alongside pivotal moments in her 65 years of life, and even find her caring for the very parents who sexually and emotionally abused her. Does her mother ever apologize for her own guilt or acknowledge the truth? What do you think? It takes a lot of strength and courage, and more forgiveness than I know I have in my heart to be the person Patricia is.

A raw, painful read. It is so difficult to be a witness to the early pages (memories) of the sexual acts, and not feel rage building within’ for every child who has ever suffered or is being abused right as you read this. I wish prayers were enough, they’re not, it takes action and those who love the child enough to protect and speak up. I can’t even count on both hands how many child abuse survivors I have met in my life, not even including those around me who know of children who have been abused by family members, strangers, partners of parents. Sometimes it feels like the real epidemic of our times. This is one victim’s story in a sea of many.

Available Now from She Writes Press

(Published June 11, 2019)

This book must have been extremely difficult, but therapeutic for the author to write. I cannot imagine suffering the abuse that she endured. This was written in a very raw fashion, so is a bit difficult to read at times since I knew it was a true account of the author's life. However, I feel that it is important to read so that awareness is raised about how abuse victims suffer long after the abuse ends.

This is a book that has obviously been therapeutic for the author to write, part of her healing. As such it's not a book to like, to enjoy. It is raw, hurting, very difficult at times to read, yet compelling. Unfortunately it is also easy to see how abuse can be seen as normal, how one moment can lead to a lifetime of problems - a string of disastrous relationships, a desire to be loved but not to know how to love, low self-esteem & conflicting thoughts/decisions.
By reading this book, you are standing in solidarity with Patricia & all of the others who suffered from abuse at the hands of those who should have protected them. I am sorry that she had to suffer this way & that her life was so affected by her childhood, but I am pleased that Patricia found healing eventually, albeit very late in her life, and wish her all the best for the future.

Disclosure: I received this book free from NetGalley for review, but all opinions are my own.