This book is a compilation of narratives from the people affected by school shootings: survivors, family members, and teachers/staff - so of course, it's incredibly difficult to read. There are countless heart-wrenching details and moving accounts of some of the most horrible moments in our country's history. It was an effective and insightful idea to bring all of these stories together in one book - which at times was also maddening when you think about how little our country has done to prevent these types of shootings from occurring in the future. There is simply so, so much preventable loss.

As much as I appreciated these survivors' stories, I did have some issues with the way the material was presented. Each chapter covers a different school shooting, beginning with the most recent in 2018 (when the book was published) and then going backwards until the University of Texas shooting in the 60s. This was an interesting set-up but I think I might have preferred it going in the other direction to see the progression of how these events have been handled differently as time has moved on (in the aftermath at the schools, in the media, etc.). Each chapter opens with a statement from one of the two book's editors. They set up what each chapter is going to cover, but a huge turn-off to me is that they often mentioned the exact details or quotes that were the most powerful in the upcoming narratives. So, when the reader comes across it when the survivor says it, it already has lost its meaning and poignancy. I think the book would have benefitted from a short overview at the beginning of each chapter simply explaining more about the facts of each shooting (and not getting into what the survivor accounts are going to say). I ended up having to constantly Wikipedia things because I wanted to know more facts, which often took me out of the story.

I wish every member of the NRA and any gun rights activist would have to read these pages. Maybe they would think twice about their views.

I received a copy of this in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley.

This book discusses a very tragic topic. Any parent can relate to the horrible fear of school shootings.
This book was VERY well written.

Below are a few (somewhat) brief, $.02 opinions about several books I've read or listened to recently but will not review in full. Their appearance in this recurring piece generally has little to nothing to do with merit. Many I enjoyed as much or more than those that got the full court press. I hope you'll consider one or two for your own TBR stack if they strike your fancy whether they struck mine or not.

If I Don't Make It, I Love You, Amye Archer and Loren Kleinman

Subtitled Survivors in the Aftermath of School Shootings, this book is just that--interviews with various individuals impacted by school shootings in the U.S. going back to 1966 and the University of Texas at Austin. Parents grieving the loss of a child or trying to help a surviving one, friends and fellow students who witnessed and/or survived, teachers and others who survived and/or intervened. The pieces run the gamut, as do the emotions and reactions, as is to be expected. Painful and horrific, this is a book that screams to be read as a "bear witness" work. One can only hope these words, none more so than the introduction by Fred Guttenberg, father of Jaime, are read by people who really need to hear them. My only "critical" thought is that there are so many voices there is repetition and one fears the words lose their impact. Yet how do you choose who is to be heard and who is to be silenced? It seems we have already become immune to the loss of life.

As a big true crime fan, an area I enjoy researching and reading about is school shootings. Morbid, I know, but I like to educate myself about the gun culture in America and also the psychology of people who commit this sort of crime.

This book was a phenomenal read and I think everyone needs a copy, particularly those involved with creating laws around guns. The thought of sending my child to school and them not coming home is so out there and horrific, yet parents in America face this threat every day in a very real and possible way.

This book contains some truly strong and heartbreaking stories from survivors (both students and teachers), parents, emergency services personnel and more – all who have been affected by a school shooting in some way. The accounts of how they were impacted are truly astounding and almost unbelievable – except you know it really happened. To see the strength that these people have, and their ongoing fight to get better gun control laws in their country is so admirable after what they have been through

A humbling, haunting and inspiring read that the two authors have made a fantastic job of creating, it is well worth a read.

Never have I had a book evoke so much emotion in me! For everyone who has a loved one in a school system, this one strikes the cord. We all love to think that they are all safe every time we send them off. We all wonder what would be the last thing we said, do they know we love them? This book gives us a perspective of our children. What are they thinking, what do they want us to know?
It is very hard to put into words the feelings this book puts you through. But unfortunately it is the reality that many live with.
I voluntarily reviewed a copy of this book provided by NetGalley.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

This book was heart wrenching. Survivors and family members write about what life is like after these school shootings. Some talking about that day their lives changed.

Grab a box of tissues.

In this book you will read the stories of the survivors of mass shootings and the families of the victims that are left to live without their loved ones. The voices of the people whose stories fill these pages deserved to be heard. This makes 'If I don't make it, I love you' an incredibly important book in a time when mass shootings across the states happen with an unacceptable frequency.

Hopefully these accounts will give some kind of insight in to a way to combat the desperate issue.

This book really is a must read.

I received this ARC from netgalley in exchange for a review.

I was unsure of what to expect reading this book. I was prepared to be uncomfortable, but it was done in a way that was not in your face. It is fact filled. It will make you think. It will make you cry. I had to put it down more than once. After reading this, I cannot understand how our representatives can vote down measures to stop this preventable loss of lives. I read of the survivors, the families, and police and first responders . Lives still effected by these events. These are only the school shootings. I thought about all the other shootings . No place is safe and nothing is done. Read this book. It gives a voice to those who cannot speak and those who need to be heard.

So the world is in a bit of a mess. In the year of 2019, Britain are still trying to figure out Brexit. We have a very dodgy prime minister who is known for having poor morals and scruples and basically being a blithering buffoon.

However, I am eternally grateful that I live in the UK. There are many reasons for this - one of them being the lack of gun crime. I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen but in the UK you cannot got to a supermarket and pick up a gun.

In America, due to the second amendment – the right to bear arms – a rule that is outdated and in my opinion should be changed – the availability of guns and ammunition must have had a direct impact on the increase of mass shootings.

I read If I Don’t Make It, I Love You and was so saddened and disgusted that even after all the death of innocent school children that this rule hasn’t been changed. It is appalling.

If I Don’t Make It, I Love You gives real life accounts from the more memorable school shootings. These accounts come from survivors, paramedics, parents and siblings of those who lost their lives. It shows how the after effects of events like this are still so pertinent and that whilst in some cases pain eases with time it is never truly gone.

If I Don’t Make It, I Love You is a must read.

If I Don’t Make It, I Love You – Survivors in the Aftermath of School Shootings by Amye Archer and Loren Kleinman is available now.

For more information regarding Amye Archer (@AmyeArcher) please visit www.amyearcher.com.

For more information regarding Loren Kleinman (@LorenKleinman) please visit her Twitter page.

For more information regarding Skyhorse Publishing(@skyhorsepub) please visit www.skyhorsepublishing.com.

If I Don’t Make It, I Love You is a collection of 60 narratives covering a period of over fifty years written by survivors of school shootings.

Who are the survivors of school shootings?

It’s not just those who are left with physical scars or injuries from the path a bullet took through their bodies, but also those who were huddled behind desks or in storeroom’s for hours wondering when the shooter would burst in, it is those who ran, wondering if they were running away from, or into danger, it is the families who waited, sometimes for hours, to learn if their loved one was safe, injured or dead.

At Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, 17 were killed, and 17 sustained physical injuries, but there were over 3000 students in that school, and over 120 staff, each of whom have parents, siblings, and/or partners, around 6000+ people. That means there were, as a rough estimate, ten thousand people directly affected by the Parkland school shooting, each one a survivor.

Fifty three years after the shooting at the University of Texas, which left fifteen dead, and 31 injured, John still struggles with survivors guilt, and the the effects of PTSD.

“I feel like I could’ve done more. I could’ve helped more people. I feel I was a coward. That day is always with me in my mind. Every day. But I know now that I did the best I could, but there is always a worm of doubt.”

Twenty years after 12 students were murdered, and 24 were physically injured, in the shooting at Columbine high school, Jami fights a panic attack as his kindergartener practices the schools ‘lockdown’ drill.

“My heart still pounds every time I use an elevator, I startle at every loud noise, and the state of heightened vigilance my body lives under leaves me on edge and exhausted, yet unable to rest. Over the years there’ve been hundreds of shootings in schools across the country. I brace myself for the onslaught of flashbacks and vivid nightmares in the weeks and months following each one.”

Seven years after 20 five and six year olds, and 6 staff, were murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary, Susie Ehren’s daughter, now 12 years old, still says goodnight to the picture of her and her best friend from kindergarten, whose death she witnessed.

“Today my daughter, who witnessed the unspeakable, who lives with that memory every day of her life, and who fights the triggers and knows how to calm her body when it begins to tense up out of fear, struggles with the daily balance to be a ‘normal’ 12 year old.”

A year after the 2018 ‘Parkland’ school shooting, two teenagers could no longer live with their feelings of survivors guilt and died by suicide.

In a year, in seven years, in twenty years, in fifty three years, the survivors of school shootings will still be affected by the tragic events they experienced.

In a year, in seven years, in twenty years, in fifty three years if something doesn’t change there will be hundreds of thousands more survivors of school shootings, you may be one of them.

Thoughts and Prayers are useless

Arming teachers is ridiculous

Gun control is a good start

Improving family support services is important

Improving mental health services is crucial

Confronting, harrowing, heartbreaking, If I Don’t Make It, I Love You is essential reading.

Get a box of Kleenex handy, you will need it while reading this book.
First, let me tell you that I absolutely HATE that this book was written.
There should be NO gun violence in this great nation...yet here we are.
Now that is out of the way....

This book was tragic in so many ways. From the parents, students, siblings, doctors, etc....everyone had a story about gun violence. So many people were affected by gun violence. A ripple affect that crosses generations.
It was hard to read, but an important read.

I liked how the book was laid out. But there was times when I had to put the book down and take a break. I wanted to make sure that I gave each story its rightful attention.
Its a hard book but one that needed to be done.

The only negative, the authors did not get any personal stories from police officers/school resource officers.

This book was heartbreaking as I knew it would be as I read through the accounts of survivors of such tragedy. The detail and the way the author organized the info kept my attention and left me wanting to read more.

This was such a heart wrenching read. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. It was complied with such compassion and kept me brimming over from start to finish. The accounts in this book span fifty years of school shooting and consist of memories, accounts and statements from witnesses, friends and families of victims of school shootings. Can every pro gun politician in the United States of America please read this account? Maybe then laws will be changed because at present they lead to nothing but innocent lives being lost.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Interesting to hear the views of the survivors and families of victims. Overall, this was a good book.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC of this novel. Many thanks to those that have contributed to this novel in any way.

This has to be one of the most heartbreaking books I've ever read. I'm thankful that I have not been directly affected by gun violence but it has hit close to home. There was a shooting a couple years back when a guy was distraught over a breakup and shot multiple people on a bridge. One never thinks that something like this could happen when you live but it has sadly become more widespread. I really connected with the phrase in the book "Gun violence prevention advocates don't want to take away guns. We just don't want your guns to take our lives or the lives of our children." I think this is a really important statement and a great way of looking at it.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the chance to read this book!

I have to say that as an Australian, this book is a real eye opener. Of course it is confronting; these are the stories of those who survived a school shooting, their parents and siblings, their friends. It boggles that a book could cover SO many of these stories, because guns are just not in our culture as much. I have literally seen on gun in real life, on a farmer's property that he used to shoot rabbits.

Each story is a deeply personal narrative and there is going to be plenty of triggers here for people affected by gun violence. But these people all want to tell their story, and they want their story to mean something, change something. They add their voice to many in America at the moment, adding this book to a very modern movement.

This is well written and edited. A confronting topic but needed. Of course five stars, but how do you rate a book like this?

If you ever wanted to know how mass shootings can affect someone, read this book. Told from various people that in some form or fashion, a mass shooting became a part of their life. Told honestly and with compassion. We tend to focus on the victims and their families, but this book will make you understand there are so many others that are affected. Thanks to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for the arc of this book in return for my honest review. Receiving the book in this manner had no bearing on my review.

My morbid interest in school shootings began back when I was in elementary school. I was around eleven years old when I was kicked out of my 4th-grade classroom for talking about Columbine. I do not know why the tragic event fascinated me so much. As I got older, I began reading every book and watching every movie or documentary on the subject I could find. This would lead to me actually developing plans of writing a book myself. However, what most people do not understand is how truly overwhelming these events are (both in how horrible they are and quantity). Everyone has heard of Columbine, Parkland, and Virginia Tech, but the majority of these events only get noticed locally. If it doesn’t have something that makes it stand out or a high kill count, it just isn’t worth talking about in mainstream media.

School shootings did not start in the ’90s. It doesn’t happen because someone enjoys violent games or listens to Marilyn Manson. The shooters are not always the victims of bullying or suffering from depression. Americans have spent so much time trying to come up with a formula or something to put all the blame on. If we could just figure it out and create a quick (preferably cheap) fix, we could all just move on with our lives. Yet, after all this time, after so many deaths, no answers have been found. In the end, I think that on-going question of “why” is what fueled most of my own personal interest. I was convinced, like many others, that I could find out why this keeps happening. I was determined to be the one to discover the magical formula that led to someone performing these horrific acts.

Then Sandy Hook happened. Newtown destroyed me. For months after, I had nightmares of tiny, bloody bodies stacked in classrooms. This is when I stopped caring about “why” and just became furious it was even happening at all. Surely, this would be the tragedy that forced change...but then nothing happened. I stopped all research and stopped following any additional incidents. It was just too much for me and my mental health could no longer handle it. I do occasionally still read books on the topic, but only if it offers something new, which is why I chose to read the 500+ page If I Don’t Make It, I Love You.

This book, edited by Amye Archer and Loren Kleinman features essays from individuals affected by school shootings. Survivors share the long-lasting effects they are now dealing with, families detail their struggles and anger after losing loved ones, and even Doctors share their point of view. Working chronologically from Santa Fe High School back to the Tower shooting at the University of Texas in the ’60s, it includes information not only about the popular tragedies, but several of the lesser known ones as well. It is an incredibly difficult, yet necessary read. There is so much pain in the pages of this book, which is to be expected, but I also found a growing bit of hope developing mainly around the survivors of Parkland. It is sad, but I think many have passed on the torch of trying to change things to these kids. One only hopes they are able to do better than those before them.

I really liked how the book was put together. Each chapter represents a different tragedy, and at the beginning of each, we hear a bit from one of the editors. The names of the shooters are rarely mentioned, and it in no way glorifies anything they did. I also really appreciated the mentions of incidents prior to the University of Texas Tower Shooting (which many consider to be the first mass killing at a school). Archer and Kleinman did their research (and shared the toil it took on them). The only issue I did have with this book was how many of the “essays” were excerpts from other books. It doesn’t take away anything...I am just too tempted now to read all of these books, and as mentioned earlier, I do not think that would be good for me. As heavy as the subject matter is, I think this should be required reading for many in our society (especially politicians).

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: 4.5/5

Should be mandatory reading, it's not enough to send thoughts and prayers. More needs to be done but for those of us not personally involved we can just change the chanel, Wear their shoes, feel the pain don't close off to the truth. Guns hurt, one may be shot but the ricochet bounces around and hurts families, schools, communities. Not a bipartisan argument but a human one. Please read

Wow, this is a heart wrenching book that the whole world should read. Our poor kids are growing up in a world when they have to worry about taking tests and getting shot at school. Even if you are not a parent you should read this book.