I love that this story features a quirky misfit type MC as if there is anything MG readers need it's to see that they are not the only weirdos. :) Bea handles the changes in her life even though they are pretty complicated. This really sounds like a 10-year-old and is aimed at young readers. It hits the mark and sticks with you long after you are finished reading. Love is Love.

I absolutely adored this book.

The writing is warm and funny, and the characters are relatable and REAL. The voice of this book is spot on for middle-grade readers, and the author tackles some tough subjects head on. She really understands anxiety and guilt and the anger that can come with it.

Bea is an endearing, layered character. She loves Star Trek; she suffers eczema; she is an anxious child, and this causes her to act out sometimes in ways that adults misconstrue. Her parents are understanding, and she sees a therapist to talk about her feelings. I LOVE this - it's not often you get to see a character in therapy. Her therapist Miriam is kind, and we get to see their relationship develop. The talk about her anxiety is straight up, and I appreciate the tools she is given to deal with it, be it the green notebook with her list of things that will not change, or how she approaches the things that worry her.

I also thought her parents' divorce was handled well, as was her dad's coming out and subsequent remarriage. It was handled tastefully and matter of factly, as was the issue of homophobia that is brought in (gently). Her dad's remarriage also introduces a half-sister, and the complex emotions for both of them around this situation are handled clearly and gently.

This is a book that takes on a lot of emotions and relationships and situations. Bea is pretty wise for her age, but she's also still portrayed as the child she is in a way that other middle-school readers can relate.

It's just a lovely book, perfect for a time when emotions and fears and anxieties are likely high in its target audience. She's a delightful character, flawed but endearing.

My new go to genre' is Middle Grade so I was excited to be approved for this book. I have read one other book by this author and enjoyed it so I was hopeful for this book. It did not disappoint. It was a quick read, the storyline moved quickly, the characters were fun, likable and most importantly true to life. I really like how this author writes MG insofar that there are no unnecessary words, it is written in the voice of the main character and she says it like it is. All of the characters were likable and true to who I perceived their characters to be and there was many life lessons learned in this storyline.

I have two more of this author's backlist on hold at the library and can't wait until the holds are available.

This is an incredible book about families of all kinds and worries and wonders. I can’t wait to share it with students!

Twelve-year-old Bea looks back over the last 4 years, recounting her parents divorce, her father's engagement to another man, and getting to know her new stepsister.

Bea is 8-years-old when parents tell her that they would be getting a divorce, not because they don't love each other, but because her father is gay. And, they reassured her, although she would now have two homes and two rooms, some things would never change. In fact, they were so sure of that that they gave her a notebook in which they has listed all the Things That Will Not Change and green pen (Bea's favorite color) for additional entries.

Bea is 10-years-old when her dad, a chef and restauranteur, announces that he is going to marry Jesse, who works with him. Bea, who adores Jesse, is especially excited when she discovers that he has a daughter, Sonia, who is the same age and lives in California.

But Sonia's first visit to New York doesn't turn out as Bea had hoped. Sonia misses her family in California and doesn't seem very interested in anything Bea proposes, including the upcoming wedding. But Bea perseveres, writing letters and emails to Sonia, even when there is silence on the other end. Meanwhile, plans for the upcoming wedding go forward, and when Bea discovers the Jesse has a brother, she is sure he would want to be invited to the wedding, despite being told that the brothers are not on speaking terms. She decides to send him an invitation anyway, telling no one, and thinking it will be a wonderful surprise.

Throughout all these changes, Bea struggles to navigate her life around big and small challenges and upheavals, like being a poor speller in school, outbreaks of eczema, learning to trust her therapist, incidences of homophobia, a guilty conscience, and the seeming rejection by Sonia, the sister she wants to have so badly. One way of coping with all this is to add to the List of Things That Will Not Change. Knowing there are people and things that are concrete and unchanging and that she can hold on proves to be the security blanket Bea carries wherever she goes.

I began this blog back in September 2012 with a review of Liar & Spy by Rebecca Stead, about which I wrote "...the story started to worm its way into my thoughts and the more that happened the more I began to really appreciate the incredibly clever way the story is woven together, each part adding to the whole picture, and the wonderful subtleties of Stead's writing." And that is the beauty of Stead's plotting and character development. She gives us characters that are easily relatable and puts them in seemingly unconnected situations and then you finish the book and, voilá, there is the whole picture, clear as could be.

And Bea is certainly relatable, simple because she is a flawed character in the way middle schoolers are flawed. She's impulsive, angry, sometimes unthinking and inappropriately physical, but always well-meaning, and she has a secret that causes major guilt feelings. She reveals her story slowly and in anecdotes that at times seem completely unconnected. In fact, she begins her narrative with one about her dad and his brother listening to the corn growing, an account that seems to have nothing to do with anything, but at the end of Bea's tale, has everything to do with everything. Each part of her narrative adds to the whole picture.

Bea's slow narration also gives readers the opportunity to get to know the people who are part of her world, all of whom are supportive and loving, but also flawed, and to see how her family's dynamics work. By the end, we see that all is not without disappointments, and there are plenty of ups and downs. But throughout it all, there is family, forgiveness, personal growth, and, of course, the list of things that will not change.

The List of Things That Will Not Change is at times poignant, funny, angsty but always real. It's a book that shouldn't be missed by tween readers, and one that should probably be read by their parents. I can't recommend it highly enough.

This book is recommended for readers age 9+
This book was an eARC gratefully received from NetGalley

I was so happy to receive a copy of The List of Things That Will Not Change from Netgalley and Rebecca Stead never disappoints. If I could give half stars, I would rate this 4.5 stars...hovering close to 5 stars. It's a near perfect read. At a different less distracting time, I would have devoured this book in a few days, but I took my time with it. Stead's writing speaks to her target audience, middle school age kids. There's a feeling of innocence amongst the beautiful chapters. She also, I think, expertly captures what it feels like to struggle with anxiety at a young age. If my older son was in middle school, I would love for him to read this book, but he's still too young to understand and absorb it. I really liked the passages between 12 year old Bea and her therapist, Miriam. She really knew how to talk to a middle school child struggling with anxiety and the changes in her life as her parents divorced and her father married another man. I also loved the closing passages with the wedding. I always love a NYC setting in books, and Stead once again captures the energy and passion of the city. So much raw emotion throughout the entire book.

I absolutely loved this story about young Bea and her changing family situation. Bea is in fifth grade and her parents have divorced (which she is still fully adjusting to) and her father is going to remarry. This is a huge shift for her. She will now have two dads, and a new step sister (she always wanted a sister) who lives in CA. That’s a lot of change and Bea, with her anxiety and her eczema, is keeping her list to give her some sense of steadiness. Add in some issues at school and you’ve got a touching and realistic novel.

I adore Rececca Stead’s writing and often recommend it for my students. She treated the topics in this book so sensitively yet honestly that I can imagine that many readers will be touched by Bea’s story, like I was.

Thank you, Net Galley and Wendy Lamb Books, for my copy!

This book does a wonderful job of presenting an imperfect child who works with her family and therapist to deal with the challenges of life. It is important for books to shoe kids how their challenges are not so unique after all. I would recommend this book to late elementary through early high school students. I received this book as an advance copy from NetGalley..

Rebecca Stead is one of my favorite authors. Her books always feel so magical and they take hard things seriously but they don't ever cross the line into being preachy. In this book, for example, Bea has anxiety issues and she definitely internalizes a lot of things, doing it in a way that may not become clear until much later. It's only a problem because it makes her so upset. I mention that because she's never treated like she's weird or broken, which is a good thing for kids to see.

My other favorite part is the way that this book covers feelings. One of the most confusing things about being human is the way that events can bring up a lot of different feelings. (For example---and I'm using a personal one so I don't spoil anything from the book---I turned 40 in a pandemic. I had a really good day and I had presents and cupcakes and I spoke to many of the people I love via Facetime and Zoom, but I also was sad because I was by myself. It was a really good birthday and a really sad birthday. Both of those things are equally true.)

Rebecca Stead reminds me of Judy Blume in the way that she writes about these topics that kids can definitely relate to but that which may make people uncomfortable. I'm glad these books are in the world.

Highly recommended.

As always Stead gives middle school readers lots to think about. When not only your body is changing, but the social structure around you is in flux, It's good to have a list of things that will not change. Even adults could use this list advice. Coping with change is so hard.

Rebecca Stead gives her protagonist, Bea, a strong voice and such personality. Bea as a narrator invokes Lilo (of Lilo & Stitch), a genuine kid with huge questions and plenty of mistakes left to make, with a family that doesn’t let its odd composition take away the love they share. Bea talks about the first two years after her parents divorce, leading to her father’s new marriage. Her story is not my story, but I recognize myself in it; the specific truths resonate easily, and I think this book will encourage its middle-grade audience as well as the adults who still remember how messy it is to be a kid.

I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Rebecca Stead hooked me years ago when I read “When You Reach Me.” She’s definitely a fantastic children’s author. While there were parts of this book I enjoyed, I felt like it tried to cover too much. Divorce, a gay parent, anxiety: it was a lot to pack in. I really liked Bea’s character and her sincerity. I think a lot of kids could relate to her. What I enjoyed most was the way Bea worked through her anxiety and how her talking weekly with a counselor was shown in a positive light.

This is a cool take on the first person narrative, going back and forth in time to explain the situation. The situation is that her gay father is marrying his boyfriend, or at least the is the pretense for the whole story, but it is so much more than that.

A good exploration, with the help of her therapist, about what is really going on.

Well written, and enjoyable story. Good sympathy from the main character to her new "sister," as well.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.

This was a really, really sweet read. The emphasis on family was so real, and I truly loved watching the characters learn to grow alongside one another. I highly recommend this book.

The List of Things that Will Not Change is a novel you will hear about! It was absolutely done beautifully. The character development was real and raw. Bea is a young girl who is struggling with her parent's divorce, her dad's coming out, and her own personal body struggles. Bea was so well-developed that I felt she could be a real person on the street. The beauty of this story is the relationship between Bea and her parents. They clearly are a loving family despite the fact that they are no longer in the same house. It is a great reflection on how families can look different but still be strong and loving. This book was an absolute triumph!

Bea experienced a major life disruption four years ago when her parents divorced. Now she divides her time equally between the apartments of her supportive mother and understanding father. To ease her anxiety, they presented her with a green notebook to record "The List of Things That Will Not Change." They started the list with:
Mom loves you more than anything, always.
Dad loves you more than anything, always.
They encourage Bea to look for things that remain constant, things that she can depend on. School, relationships with peers, and the distinctive parenting styles of her mother and father are predictable.
​The irony is that her life is about to change in several surprising ways.
Without revealing an important plot point, it is safe to say that the most significant change that occurs is the change in Bea herself.
At age twelve, Bea’s life is about to experience another seismic shift. Dad has announced that he and his partner Jesse are getting married. The secure little nuclear threesome of Dad, Jesse, and Bea will expand to include Sonia, Jesse’s daughter who lives with her mother in California. Bea is thrilled at the prospect of having a sister and fantasizes about life with a sibling. When Sonia comes for a visit, things are not as Bea envisioned. Not at all.
Bea has her share of challenges. She suffers from eczema which requires application of a medicated lotion. She frequently opts for quick but temporary relief by running her hands under scalding hot tap water, leaving her skin sore and dry. She often exhibits a lack of impulse control, rashly responding when angry. On more than one occasion her impetuous outbursts have alienated her from those close to her. Mom has arranged for her to regularly meet with a therapist to help Bea learn to deal with her anger and frustration.
Stead lovingly paints her central character as flawed. Bea makes mistakes, some trivial, others resulting in serious consequences. Her anger, recklessness, and misreading of a situation bring pain to herself and to others in her immediate circle. She’s a girl who loves to dance, looks forward to the future, and eventually takes the massive step to acknowledge her past mistakes and courageously work to make things right. Readers will fall in love with Bea, not by overlooking her faults, but by accepting this imperfect girl. Readers will discover, like her family and friends, that they love her. All of her. Her strengths and her weakness. A story of love that persists in the face of change.
While The List of Things that Will Not Change narrative is a whole cloth, each chapter stands alone, a polished gem in a sparkling diadem of a novel. I read, stopping to savor each individual chapter. Each is a well-crafted tiny literary jewel that offers a glimpse into a precise moment in Bea's life. Chapters fit together into a smooth and polished middle-grade story. This is Stead at her best.

I really loved this story! I like how the author normalized divorce and made it amicable and healthy, and how she normalized therapy. It’s a great story about big emotions in a little kid and how she navigates them. Bea’s inner dialogue is relatable and while the writing seems a little childish in some ways, it would be an easy read for a middle grade reader.

This book lacks the depth of Stead's previous work. It's less complex, less engrossing. It explores emotions on a sort of surface level. I will say that Bea is a fairly accurate portrayal of a kid. She feels things very strongly and doesn't always have appropriate repsponses to those emotions. And I like that there's no shame associated with her visits to her therapist. It's simply a fact of her life.

The List of Things That Will Not Change was such a great book. I loved it so much. Rebecca Stead is a master at middle-grade storytelling.

This book deals with real life issues that many kids are facing, anxiety, divorce, navigating friendships, and learning that love of family is everything. This is such a great book for kids to read.

The List of Things That Will Not Change
by Rebecca Stead

I found this a remarkable young adult reader. It has many connections for young readers looking a divorce, how to talk about your feelings, how to express your concerns, great advice and example of adaptations to change. The young girl has a lot to deal with not only her family changing but seeing how the reasons for the changes are not always bad. The book looks at so many parts of the process, not only best practices, but also looking at how you can accept others as they are. In the end I think readers will understand that there are many ways to become a family and find acceptance.