When my father left, I was eight years old, the same age as Bea - the main character in this book. Unlike Bea's father, he just left. I came home from school as he was packing his car; he hugged my sister and I and got into the car and left. There was never any explanation and it wasn't until I was much older that I fully understood why. Even though Bea is a character in a book, I am slightly jealous of her [and really anyone who's parent's took the time to actually TALK to their children as to why they were splitting up] and the fact that her parent's cared enough to one, have a family meeting to tell her, and two, make a schedule possible so life didn't seem too abnormal. My sister and my lives were upended and nothing was ever the same for us - and while Bea's life was different, it wasn't different-bad. It was just different and she adapts fairly quickly. I think that is helped by her therapy sessions [another well-done to her parent's] and the fact that they all strive to keep her schedule as close to regular as possible.
Which, is good because Bea is an odd child - she has serious anger issues [which start WAY before her parent's split up], she is single-minded [if she is thinking about one thing re: writing a letter to her new sister during lunch, she will forget to actually GET her lunch beforehand], and she really doesn't think before acting. Therapy is also to help her with all of these things and over the course of the book, you can see how her sessions do help her.

I really feel this was a well-written book and I would highly recommend it to parent's to give to their kids, especially if they are going to, are in the middle of, or have been divorced. Kids will relate to Bea and all of her escapades and her ups and downs and the things that she does and regrets. I have a middle child who is a lot like Bea in my life and as I was reading this, I saw so much of her here. I am planning on getting her a copy of this and then reading and discussing it with her. I think that while it will be entertaining [because Bea and her friends are fun], it will also be helpful to see that there are kids who are similar to how she is and that its okay to be different and to get help for those things we cannot often control.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children's/Wendy Lamb Books for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

What I Loved:
I loved the mixture of all of life’s emotions in The List of Things That Will Not Change. It felt like such a real-life story because Rebecca Stead chose to avoid sugar-coating situations. Divorce is a hard topic to write about and Stead balances the story perfectly with a well-balanced mix of heartache and happiness.

How I Felt:
The main character, Bea, is experiencing life-changing events in her family. Her parents are divorced and she is living in the aftermath. Her attitude is lovely. She’s joyful and upbeat while finding herself troubled with times of anxiety and doubt. I found her to be a perfect middle-grade character that is relatable and real.

The story is focused on Bea, a young girl living in the aftermath of divorce and the changing of family dynamics. Her list of things that will not change is a reminder to herself of how much she is loved when she starts to feel anxious. Bea’s dad announces his engagement to his boyfriend, Jesse and she is elated! Even better, she’s getting a step-sister! Except that maybe, everything not going exactly like she thought it would.

To Read or Not To Read:
I would recommend The List of Things That Will Not Change for a middle-grade reader that enjoys an emotional story about life’s changes and family. I think this is an important book to have available in schools and libraries. It poignantly addresses topics for children that they should have access to.

I was provided an advanced reader's copy of this book for free. I am leaving my review voluntarily.

This is an interesting middle-grade book. Excellent for kids who experience their parent's divorce. The writing style is easy to follow, concise and compassionate.

Bea is such a lovely character and I feel like so many kids could relate to her situation. Her worries and struggles are relatable, and even though her parents tell her that there are things that will not change with their divorce, she realizes that some things are bound to be different but her parents will always love her the same.

Family unity, heartwarming characters, and real-life situations are beautifully presented throughout this book. I recommend it!

While I received a copy of this ebook in exchange for a review, all opinions remain my own.

This book was beyond adorable. I think it is aimed for an earlier reader, but it is about a little girl, going through her father's remarriage. The story jumps back to when her parents originally got divorced. They gave her a notebook with a list in the front "The List Of Things That Will Not Change." I think this is amazing. A great idea for any parents to do when dealing with children and divorce. In fact, this is a great read for parents to handle children in divorce. The way they handle this girl is amazing.

Bea shares her past in this book as she prepares for her dad's marriage to his boyfriend. Her family is still quite entwined, her mom is going to the wedding. I love how things in Bea's past come out and she has to deal with them. I love that Bea is seeing a counselor about things and that even though she doesn't understand what is going on, that the adults around her are taking her mental health seriously.

What an engaging and honest book. In this time where social emotional learning is so important, Rebecca Stead gives us a character full of complexity, curiosity, and relatability.

I am a tried and true Rebecca Stead fan, and her latest novel did not disappoint. I especially loved the way she handled therapy and mental health throughout the novel. Storyline wise, it could have easily come across as a standard contemporary middle grade novel. However, I really loved the main character...Bea sticks with you.

Rebecca Stead has written yet another middle grade story full of love, warmth, and emotion. The List of Things That Will Not Change is a story about learning how to love, learning how to forgive yourself, and how to make room in your heart for the things that matter.

The story shows Bea going to therapy and learning coping mechanisms to manage her anxiety (her "worrying") and the heaviness she carries in her heart. She is learning how to be part of a blended family, but also how the best kind of love transforms friends into family. It's also about Bea learning to recognize that sometimes our actions are a mask for what we're actually feeling, and that we have to be honest with ourselves about what we feel in order to shrink the gap between what we think and how we live.

Written with all the charm and personality of an epistolary novel (without actually being one), this story made me feel joyous and nostalgic for childhood and all its messiness. Coming of age is hardly ever simple or straightforward, and Stead seems to capture the true essence of that complexity in all her work. Very glad I got the chance to read this one early!

From my blog:
https://librarianleaps.blogspot.com/2020/04/i-heart-rebecca-stead.html

I'm excited to share that 2020 is the year of another Rebecca Stead book. THAT is a reason to celebrate.

And tomorrow is her book birthday. Late last night, last minute me decided to throw a virtual party Tuesday afternoon. Sour gummy bears, 7Up cake and ice cream sandwiches will be served.

Fingers crossed at least one person shows up. Otherwise, the free book giveaway will be mine and I'd prefer to share the book love. No, I don't have a copy of the book. Yes, I read it via NetGalley (a belated thank you, NetGalley) and yes, my new plan is that I will use my gas, entertainment, coffee (fill in the blank incidentals money I am not spending) to start giving away books at my parties.

This book I finished on a plane (seems so long ago) TO Spain (was that really just February break?). Not the first time I cried on a plane and I hope it won't be the last.

Regular readers of my blog will know that I love New York and Stead's books are always love letters to my native city. We need that more than ever right now.

This is the story of Bea, her divorced parents, her Dad's new relationship and upcoming wedding to Jesse, Jesse's daughter in California, Sonia, and Bea's therapist, Miriam all wrapped up beautifully in only the way Rebecca Stead can put a bow on it.

Today, many of us are anxious. In normal circumstances, do we all give ourselves permission to worry? Not always. In the chapter, "Drop Everything and Worry" Miriam teaches Bea how to worry. A lesson many of us could use.

"Life is like a trip. A very long one. And what matters most is the people you travel with...With the right people, you carry your boat and it doesn't feel that heavy."
Stead has such a way with words. She is a Newbery winner after all. But these words. Right now. The journey we are taking, inside with our loved ones and Zooming, FaceTiming, Skyping, etc with the ones outside, my hope is that it's keeping your boat just little lighter.

"...Some songs were slow and some were fast, and every time one ended I closed my eyes and thought, one more. Please one more."
Me. Every time I read a new Rebecca Stead book. So for the sake of all of us, another one comes out in the world tomorrow. Happy Book Birthday, The List of the Things that Will Not Change.

Oh, and if you can find a box of ice cream sandwiches in the store, grab them, put them in the freezer and take them out at the end (with your box of Kleenex only arms distance away). You'll be glad you heeded my advice. The only thing you'll be sorry about is that the book is over.

In unison now, "Please one more."

This is a book for middle schoolers, but adults can get something out of it, too. Rebecca Stead does a great job of creating believable and realistic characters, especially the kids. And she presents the adults and their lives in a way that kids can understand. I'd like to read more of her books and share them with the kids in my life.

Another lovely middle-grade book by Rebecca Stead.

Bea is an anxious kid whose parents divorced because her dad is gay, and he's found his mate in Jesse. Bea tells her story about the divorce and the upcoming wedding, between which we get short glimpses of her life at school, with her best friend, with her cousins (with whom she doesn't always get along), with her mother, with Sonia, Jesse's daughter, who Bea hopes will become a sister.

There are plenty of the sorts of issues that crop up in families. Some painful things happen, but Stead writes about them with such a light, humorous and humane touch that it stays firmly this side of the dreaded Problem Novels that librarians used to load with awards in the seventies and eighties, and which my students pretty much universally loathed.

If I were not retired I would definitely have this one on my classroom shelves, both for kids going through the remaking of families, and those curious about those things. It's such a good-hearted book, with vivid characters, and clear-as-water prose.

"The List of Things That Will Not Change" did not live up to what I’ve come to expect from this author. The book features Bea, a 10-year-old child suffering from anxiety over some of her own questionable actions, actions that keep coming back to haunt her. Bea finds support dealing with her anxiety through a therapist, two best friends, and her babysitter, as well as her mother, her father, and her father’s fiancé. Other themes in this novel include blended families, homophobia, friendship, and forgiveness. It’s a heartwarming story that should appeal to middle school-aged children. Maybe I'm too old for the intended age group, but it just didn’t catch and hold my attention.

There is a lot I both love and grimaced at here, but I think that's why it's so perfect for kids, and why Rebecca Stead circulates so well in my school. Stead handles families of multiple shapes and sizes with her usual deft hand - and all the joy and difficulties associated with them. She nails Bea as a child, both with her depth of understanding, and utter lack thereof.

That said, I did have trouble sticking with this as an adult - but I know exactly which students I am going to recommend/hand this to (though I couple I am disappointed I won't be able to give to in person), and I'm anticipating them racing through.

When Bea was 8, her parents announced that they were getting divorced. They gave her a special notebook in which to write a list of things that would not change. When her father finds love again, will the changes it ushers in help Bea for the better?

The book is written from Bea's perspective, both in the present and the past. The back and forth in time did not bother me, though it did keep the main character at arm's length. Bea's struggles aside, the character just does not come to life for me. All of the elements of a good story are there, but the author misses out on an opportunity to give Bea the depth she needs to become real. Her family dynamic may resonate with some readers, especially as blended families are more the norm than ever.

Wendy Lamb Books and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of The List of Things That Will Not Change. I also won a physical copy of the book via a giveaway by the publisher. I was under no obligation to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

A very sweet middle grade book about dealing with changes in life, I would recommend this for parents and children coping with anxiety and / or anger, especially at this difficult time in the world. Bea learns her parents are divorcing and that her father is getting married to a man. I loved that this information was given without any judgement or surprise, although some of Bea's friends react in a way that she has to cope with. I also loved the normalization of seeing a therapist.

Rebecca Stead gives narrator and main character Bea a distinct voice as she narrates her life, past and present from age 8 to 13. Bea is not your typical character in a middle grade novel. When her parents divorced when she was eight, she was anxious about all the changes coming. Her parents gave her a journal called "The List of Things that Will Not Change." They began the list by declaring their unchanging love for her. Two years after the divorce, Bea's dad wants to remarry Jesse. Jesse has a daughter Bea's age in California. Bea has always wanted a sister and has high hopes for the new relationship.

Bea's emotions ring true throughout the book. Her anxiety and hopes seesaw, as is often the case with the age group. Bea's relationship with her therapist adds another layer as she helps Bea recognize the truths, prepare for and navigate the many changes that keep Bea from feeling sure footed.

I highly recommend this book. I laughed and cried. I was hopeful and angry. Many young people will identify with Bea, find comfort, and come to realize that they don't need to be perfect to be loved.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to read this arc in exchange for an honest review. This book will definitely be part of my middle school library's collection.

Bea is a Star Trek loving, eczema prone, worrier who struggles with spelling. Her parents got divorced when she was 8 and gave her a notebook with a list of things that wouldn’t change in her life. Much of the book occurs with her at age 12 looking back to the time just before her father got remarried. Bea is 10 at this point and in the 5th grade. Her father has been with his boyfriend Jesse for two years and they are a fantastic and loving pair. But Bea worries about her mother and while her immediate family has been so supportive of her dad and Jesse, there are issues of homophobia that creep up. There’s also a new stepsister named Sonia who struggles to adjust though Bea has always wanted a sister.

I adored this book so much. It had some of the most real and relatable characters all around, lots of fun little details and personality quirks and memories. The adults in Bea’s life are so warm and well intentioned. Bea herself reads like a very real kid though perhaps is a bit overly emotionally intelligent for her age. That said, there are some stunning descriptions of emotions here. They’re presented as lessons from her work with her therapist and it’s just so nice to see therapy presented this way too. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen therapy in any book, for any age, presented so accurately with real lessons and meaningful discussions imparted. It was a really special aspect of this book and any kid would be so lucky to have a therapist like Miriam. I also appreciated how the book depicted Bea’s initial skepticism with therapy and her not wanting to go or talk and then the growth of that relationship to the point where Bea considers Miriam her friend.

Then there’s the very tasteful and realistic way both divorce (a loving one where both parents truly care about Bea and one another) and having a gay parent is presented. Even with such a loving family, being a kid is hard and it’s other kids who have some of the meanest things to say. Bea is also harboring a secret and struggles with anger and anxiety. And the way and pace at which these issues are revealed and discussed is excellent.

This was a perfect pandemic read, for kids and adults alike. There’s so much warmth here but handled so well. Bea and her family’s life isn’t perfect but there’s a lot of well intentioned people around her. And the beautiful way in which difficult emotions are discussed and explored through therapy and in general, is perfect for this weird and stressful time in the world, and also for kids in blended or divorced families. I adored this story. It was like cuddling up with a glass of hot cocoa on a cold winter’s day- warming, cozy, so worth the read.

The List of Things That Will Not Change is a list of things that Bea can depend on now that her parents are getting divorced. Two years later, she still has the book, but she doesn't add to it often. Not until her father is getting married again. Bea is a child always trying to be happy. She seems to see no reason not to be. When she isn't, she does not handle her emotions well.

This book is original. My students would love this on their shelf. Bea is a little naive but she is very serious about keeping order, using routines, and keeping peace in her family. She sometimes doesn't see that others are suffering and has trouble understanding the feelings of others-her mother, her almost-sister Sonia, even her therapist. So much so that she doesn't see why her dad marrying a man would bother anyone. She has to navigate when kids at school and even family members are not accepting.

The story is touching without being cheesy. It will require children to make inferences and use higher level thinking, but is also a fun story to read and you really care about the characters and their happiness.

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

From Rebecca Stead, author of the Newbery Award winning When You Reach Me, comes a story to remind us that families come in all shapes and sizes. When Bea's parents divorce, they give her a notebook where she will keep a list of things that will not change. The first of which are reminders that each parent loves her and they still love each other.

When Bea's father announces that he is getting re-married, she adds many reassurances to her list. However, thinking about things that will not change also forces her to face all the things that will. Some of them good, like her finally -- finally -- getting a (step-)sister; some not so good, like an incident that occurs during a class presentation. As her family grows and changes in beautiful ways, Bea also learns the difficult lesson that not everyone has room in their hearts for families that look different.

Bea's voice is that of a younger character, upper elementary rather than middle school. And though the reason for Bea's parents' divorce hits a little too close to home for this reviewer to be completely objective, it would make a solid addition to diverse elementary and middle school collections.

RECOMMENDED for all middle schools and for elementary schools looking to expand LGBTQ representation on its shelves.

#TheListOfThingsThatWillNotChange #NetGalley

One thing that has not changed is Rebecca Stead's insight into children's minds, hearts, and worries. This is a middle-grade must-read! Rebecca Stead has written a novel that captures the essence of middle-grade worry and unpacks anxiety, divorce, homophobia, and family.

Bea's father is getting remarried to another man and while Bea is overexcited about gaining a sister, her new soon-to-be relation isn't sharing the excitement. With wedding plans underway and stories emerging of a homophobic uncle, Bea is learning that relationships aren't as straightforward as she thought.

Rebecca Stead weaves us in and out of Bea's past through stories that illuminate her anxiety and we get to know a young woman who with the support of her family is learning how to cope with her anxiety and navigate the intricacies of growing up.

Rebecca Stead is so deft at writing about emotions—and creating suspense around them, those simmering tensions among characters. I so appreciated the depictions of anger (in a kid), forgiveness (of others, of yourself), divorce (loving parents), friendship (Angus, what a good guy!), and even eczema (I hadn't seen this in a book before). Most of all, I appreciated the love, comfort, and stability in Bea's world from those closest to her. She's a character who "reads" adults and friends with such acuity and draws us into everyday fifth grade, with all its little heartbreaks (and joys). Thank you for the chance to read it!