I wanted to like this book. I enjoy Miller's social media presence. I agree with the premise of the book. I even agree with the premises of nearly all the chapters. But when she expanded and built on those premises, she lost me. I think the book's biggest shortcoming is its failure to address the extremely gendered way niceness is simultaneously perpetuated and denigrated in our culture.

Nice is not enough
Speaker and author Sharon Hodde Miller presents her book "Nice. Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More", published by Baker Books. The book can be divided into three parts, the first dealing with the Fruit of Niceness and its varieties (Fake, Rotten, Bland, Bitter, Hard, and Processed, the second with the challenge of cultivating a better tree (Grow Original, Grow Deep, Grow Less, and Grow Wild), and the third part which deals with Fruit That Lasts.
In a culture where being "Nice" seems to be the norm, especially for Christians, Miller's first statement "God did not call you to be nice" challenges the readers. Miller writes about herself: "I identify "niceness" as an idol in my life because I have served it tirelessly, and it has served me well in return" (p. 12). According to her Christians have to cultivate something that is deeper than niceness. At the end of the introduction Miller writes the goal of her book: "Niceness is a characteristic that most of us love to use, but it can end up using us instead. It becomes a master we fear to defy, and as a result, it eventually stands between us and obedience. What each of us needs in place of the superficial virtue of niceness is a soul rooted and abiding in Christ. We need to be transformed so fully and completely that we actually are who we present ourselves to be. We need to cultivate a fruit that, instead of tasting worse than it looks, tastes even better than we could imagine ... So let's roll up our sleeves and get to the work of pruning this habit from our lives and this idol from our hearts..." (p. 17/18).
Miller closes every chapter with a segment called "Taking Root" that offers a Bible passage which deals with the discussed topic and a segment called "Digging Deeper" with question that challenges readers to deal with the discussed topic. Notes at the end of the book help for reference and further study. I highly appreciate Miller's book for its openness and honesty. It is for those readers who want to be challenged to get away from niceness. The study guide which is available can be a help for the individual reader, but I recommend the book also for Bible study groups and book clubs.
The complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher through NetGalley free of charge. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
#Nice #TheNiceBook #NetGalley

All of my life I've heard that I should be nice but in her new book Sharon Hodde Miller tells readers that "God did not call you to be nice." She supports this statement by focusing on the analogy that Jesus used in Matthew 7 when he stated that "Every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit , nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit." In the first seven chapters of Nice: Why We Love to be Liked and How God Calls Us to More, Miller explains that the fruits of niceness can be fake, rotten, bland, bitter, hard, and processed. What does she suggest that we do? We must cultivate a better tree and the last six chapters are devoted to this concept. We can become better by finding our true purpose, rooting our soul, becoming deeper and better, and flourishing, so that the fruit we produce will be a lasting fruit!

This book is easy to read and easy to comprehend and I like that most of the chapters include the sections Taking Root (selected Bible scripture) and Digging Deeper (questions to help us increase our understanding). There are also several pages of notes with bibliographical references. I have been using it for my personal study but I believe that Nice would also be a valuable resource to use in a Women's Bible Study,

I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley and Baker Publishing but a favorable review was not required. These are my own thoughts.

From the first page, this book has really challenged me to look deeper at my actions and motives. A lot of people want to be seen as nice, but do we really know why that is so important to us? There are so many sayings and conversations where people feel as if they're owed something simply because they were nice or did the nice thing. Sharon really challenges readers to go beyond being nice to recognize when we've made niceness an idol and put it on a pedestal it never deserved to be on in the first place. A must read for anyone that is looking to be a more authentic version of themselves.

Ironically, this is not a "nice" book to read. Sharon Hodde Miller challenges the reader directly, pulling no punches to extract how individuals use nice-ness for selfish motives, avoiding relational issues and glossing over, even protecting and thus promoting, sin and wrongdoers.

Meanwhile, she draws on biblical examples and thoughtful illustrations, demonstrating Christ and His Kingdom do not operate by the world's definition of "nice." After seven chapters describing the horror of nice-ness, Miller does an equally commendable job of explaining principles for Christian growth resulting in true kindness and lasting fruit.

I highly recommend Nice for any Christian to read personally or study with a group of friends. I can only imagine how "interesting" a small group discussion would be after reading most chapters!

This book is full of truth bombs that I immediately wanted to write down. It called me out, as well as anyone else who mistakenly learned along the way that being nice is the way to be no matter what, even if it means minimizing yourself and your faith. Sharon shows us that niceness is a superficial way to approach life which provides us with secondary gains and consequences we don't realize. From my first impression of this book, I wasn't expecting it to be in the genre of "be yourself and unapologetic for God" books. It gives that kind of message, but in a completely different way. She does talk about both problems with overly relying on being nice as a person in general and over relying on it as a Christian. I think it provides a fresh perspective and a deep conviction of anyone who has learned to be nice at all costs.

Disclaimer: I was paid to write a discussion guide for this book.

My opinion would likely be considered biased, so I'm going to share one of my favorite quotes from the book—which I believe speaks for itself—instead of reviewing it.

"When we conform to a narrow mold in order to be included
or liked, we reject the plan God has for our lives and shrink
our souls in the process. There is a freedom and a purpose in
knowing who we are, acknowledging our specific abilities (and
inabilities), and using them for the kingdom of God, but we will
never experience that fullness if we paper over our God-given
design with something generic and pleasing."

Hodde Miller is not pulling any punches. Nice calls out the tendency for the Church to value niceness over actual character, to seek to look good than Christ-like.
Through each chapter, she calls out a different bad-fruit of niceness that our culture has chosen to value. She calls the church back to the way of Jesus.
Nice is a quick, well-executed spiritual exploration that flies in the face of the Girl-Wash-Your-Face mentality, calling us away from looking good only.

This was a great overview of the difference between being "nice" and being "kind" and what that entails. I found it to be a bit basic, but good for fundamental reading.

Another thoughtful book by Sharon, forcing the reader to examine why we do what we do, for Jesus or ourselves. She also helps us to look at what we are producing in our lives and some of the deeper reasons why.

I'm excited to be celebrating the release of Sharon Hodde Miller's latest book, Nice: Why We Love to be Liked and How God Calls Us to More. This has been such a powerful read for me. I’m a chronic “nice girl,” and I’ve been slowly pouring over it and scripture to relearn that being a nice Christian doesn’t mean letting others take advantage of you. I’m still nice, but I’m also learning to take care of myself as well.

This book was so good! I have read others by the author that I loved and this one did not disappoint!

I love Sharon Hodde Miller - her writing, speaking and the way she leads and inspires women to lead. Her newest book, "Nice", is no exception. Niceness has permeated our culture at large - and the church too. We look down on those who take a stand or speak out as "persistent", "rebellious", or "nasty." Her book about the bad fruit niceness actually produces and the way we can go beyond being "nice" to something deeper and greater is amazing. It is well-written, theologically sound, scripturally deep and challenging. I absolutely loved it!

We should all be nice. But what does it mean to be nice. What is nice? How do we be nice and follow our faith or be true to ourselves. I love this book and have purchased this book as gifts for family and friends. This would be a wonderful book for ladies small group bible study or book club!

The concept of this book was a good once but the content didn't really resonate with me. It wasn't what I expected.

What a topic to tackle head-on. As the book description says, "We live in a culture that prizes niceness as one of its highest virtues. Niceness keeps the peace, wins friends, gains influence, and serves our reputations well, but it also takes the teeth out of our witness and the power out of our faith. When we choose to be nice instead of faithful, we bear fruits that are bland, bitter, empty, and rotten to the core."

Sharon Hodde Miller turns the tables on a word used frequently, a word that just might have become an idol in today's world. Should we aim to be nice? What is our ultimate goal? What are we truly seeking and what matters most? Through "Nice," Miller challengers readers to examine the fruit their lives are producing, uproot idols and ultimately cultivate better fruit that is not focused on people pleasing but centered on Christ.

This book confronts the long-held belief that 1) all Christians must be nice and 2) if we aren’t nice, then we aren’t being ‘good Christians’. I love that the author argues this by countering that Jesus wasn’t nice - he was kind, but he definitely wasn’t nice. He said the hard things and did things that He knew would earn him disproval. All because He knew that being ‘nice’ wouldn’t draw people to God, but the truth would. This book was beautifully written and challenged the reader to be the kind of Christian that God designed us to be. We all need to hear this message, again and again.

Niceness is something many of us have had instilled into us since an early age. We're taught to be pleasant and polite, not to offend others, to play by the rules. And it's all too easy to equate niceness with being a "good Christian."
In this challenging book, Sharon Hodde Miller attempts to dispel that myth, encouraging us that:
"God did not call you to be nice."
In the first half of the book, she examines the fruit of niceness and identifies some of the traps we can all too easily fall into such as using niceness to win us acceptance and praise, or allowing it to inhibit our courage and lead us to be inauthentic.
In the second half of the book, she goes on to explore how we can tackle this idol of niceness and cultivate a tree that bears better fruit.
It is a thought-provoking read with some relatable real-life stories and some memorable illustrations that bring the points to life. I don't think I've highlighted quite so much in a book since I read Sharon Hodde Miller's last book "Free Of Me," and there are several parts I plan to return to in order to reflect some more.

“God never called us to be nice,” Miller writes. (Loc 2345/2640) What? But after reading her book, I think I get it. Yes, we are called to exhibit kindness, gentleness, and the other fruit of the Spirit. Being nice is not in that list.

Being nice means we want to be liked and appreciated. We don't speak the truth and we avoid hard conversations. It can become an idol and it can stand between us and obedience. It is “false formation that has replaced conformity to Christ.” (Loc 2391/2640)

Miller shows us the bad fruit of niceness. We can look so great, so Christian, for example, but hide what is really going on underneath. It is a false virtue. It is being religious. It is pleasing people rather than God.

Miller takes the second half of her book to help us uproot the tree of niceness and replace it with one growing toward true Christlikeness. To help readers incorporate the material included, Miller provides a Scripture at the end of each chapter as well as questions for personal reflection or group study.

I am a bit stunned by this book since my parents demanded niceness as I was growing up. Miller's book has given me a whole new way to look at being “nice,” especially my motives for doing so. This is a good book for Christians who want to grow in Christlikeness and avoid the trap of being nice.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review. The quotes above are from an unedited copy of the book and may have changed in the final edition.

I was not familiar with the author’s works prior to being chosen to be a part of the launch team so I feel I can give an honest review. This is not the kind of book I thought it would be, Being a “nice” Christian and person is often not how we should be at all. Being nice doesn’t ruffle any feathers or gives anyone that believes different than you a reason to not like you. Being nice is not an effective way to live out your faith in real life. The author has some tremendous points and uses gardening analogies that supports those thoughts. I highlighted quite a few of the passages as I will often refer back to. It was a refreshing and thought provoking read . It certainly has struck a chord with me; I will aim to be kind but will try to refrain from “being nice” which is the easy way to try just to please people and be accepted.