This book is for you if… you wish to get some input on how to handle your relationships with partners, family, friends, co-workers or superiors. I truly believe we can all take a page or two out of this book to get the renovation started.

⤐ Overall.
This guide book hit me right where I needed it. I cannot count on both my hands the times it felt as if Scott were talking directly to me, empathetically pointing out my behavioural errors. I swear, he wrote this book because he knew I was out there. I know I'm very protective of my emotional health, mainly because I used to be the accepting overly soft girl once and realized I literally wasn't getting anywhere with it. People I trusted walked all over me in middle school and one day I decided that I had enough. I'd say my toolbox for handling relationships improved quite a bit since then but there are some softer tools of accepting and bridge-building missing. It's funny how often I've caught myself doing exactly what Scott tries to help his readers overcome since I've started this book a week ago.

Scott is brilliantly straightforward in conveying his message to his readers. Well structured and comprehensible, he manages to illustrate his lessons with real-life examples from both his private life and that of those he helps with the renovation process. The loving and understanding way in which he talks about his wife made me fall in love with her a lot bit. I was impressed with how honest and generous Scott was in using his own problems to support his arguments. He concludes his book with an extensive case that helps to underline how essential it is to remain persistent in keeping up your well-reasoned boundaries and to stick to building a bridge as well.

It may seem like Scott is merely stating the obvious in a quite repetitive manner but messages like his are not something you internalise after hearing them just once. You have to be confronted with them over and over again and then try to practice the accepting/protecting principles, failing a couple of times until you slowly get the hang of it.

⤐ What’s happening.
‘Although we cannot change other people, we are not powerless. We have full control over how we respond when they disappoint us.’

Basically, people are either overly protective of themselves and are often incapable of building bridges to support the growth of a healthy relationship or they are so accepting they are unable to set clear boundaries even when they need them, resulting in suffering from toxic power relations. Both are problematic to everyone involved in the relationship in question and prove to be astoundingly hard to overcome.

⤐ Here's what to expect.
A message for the reader

I: THE PROBLEM OF LIFE
⇢ Problem
⇢ Solution
⇢ Aceepting: When bridge building is the ideal strategy
⇢ Protecting: When boundary setting is the ideal strategy
II: FINDING CLARITY
⇢ Don't make things worse
⇢ What do i really want?
⇢ Reality: What's really going on?
III: PROTECTING: HOW TO SET A BOUNDARY
⇢ Before the conversation
⇢ During the conversation
⇢ After the conversation
IV: FROM START TO FINISH>
⇢ Case study: Brady and Tony
⇢ Conclusion

Acknowledgments
Notes
About the author
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Writing quality + easy of reading = 5*

pace = 5*

plot development = 4*

enjoyability = 5*

insightfulness = 4*