Member Reviews
This was a very powerful and important read. I do not give out 5 stars all the time but I felt compelled to due to the topics that are tackled and how essential this anthology is.
In case you couldn't tell, 'You Too?' is about the #metoo movement. In that regard It may be triggering to some as the #metoo movement is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault.
I have to say, it's not easy to review 'You Too?'. There is no one out here reading this for fun or pleasure. This is deep and at times dark topic and the stories are not going to be cheerful. So I have a hard time creating the classic review template of 'here is the good and here is the bad'. Just believe me when I say that this book is a must read.
A powerful, must-read book. I'm so honored to be a contributor among these brave authors. Every boy and girl should read this and have frank discussions at home, at school, and with friends. It's a tough read, but it helps you feel less alone.
Before I begin this review, I would like to highlight a quote from the essay of Jess Capelle:
“Fuck politeness.”
When the #MeToo movement first began, it almost seemed too good to be true. It took guts and confidence for a group of survivors to come together and make people believe that assault and aggression is not something rare, but an almost daily occurrence for many men and women. These stories, ranging from authors of different backgrounds and experiences, give only a taste of the confidence and amazing willpower it took for stories of abuse to come to light and the refusal to remain silenced any longer.
You Too? was not an easy read--and it absolutely shouldn't be. It made me uncomfortable, it made me cry, and it made me think. It made me remember things I didn't really want to remember, and it made me want to give a copy of this to every young person I encounter, male and female.
There are authors in here I already knew, and authors who were new to me who I'm absolutely going to be looking for more from. There was even an author I'd watched in a viral video in 2018. (It made me cry then, and I cried again reading her story here.)
You Too? is a book of secrets, of confessions, and of truths. It's not an easy read, but it's a book that demands to be read, shared, and discussed. Bring tissues.
Rating: 4 1/2 stars / A
I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy of this book.
Me Too stories are very much a prominent social issue that needs to be addressed properly. I don’t particularly identify myself as a feminist or anything, but I do believe that gender equality is a prevalent issue that needs attention and improvement. This book was not an easy one to read: at times it was very uncomfortable to go through and I had to take it in bite-sized pieces, one story at a time. But nonetheless, I think that it is valuable for more people to read and appreciate these stories.
I think the first thing I want to say is I wish there was no need for a book like this. I wish we lived in a society that the stories contained in this anthology were tales of days gone by. Unfortunately, that is not the case. This a book that is hard to read at parts, it doesn’t pull punches but instead hits you right where it hurts. Women around the world will read these stories though and nod their heads with the sad knowledge that this is the way the world is.
But one thing I do know for certain is that we need to stand together. To protect each other. To amplify the voices of those who are so often robbed of their ability to speak. There are still many #MeToo fights to be fought – and we need to fight them together.
From Intro by Janet Gurtler
This anthology of 25 essays is a mixture of tales of sexual assault, experiences of the ongoing sexual harassment that makes up women’s lives and powerful stories of how we are ending this NOW. I wish I could talk in-depth about each story in this anthology but if I were to do that we would be here all day! I do want to highlight some of my favourites, Sugar and Spice and Not So Nice, is a great story about how we can stand up and say no, how we can stay firm and remind everyone that this is not okay behaviour. Bus Stop Witchcraft was an uplifting essay from a young person on how we can join together every woman and work together to change the world and make it a better place. The One We Don’t Talk About is a heartbreaking tale of incest and how even in this day of #MeToo we still sweep this under the rug. Finally, Burn was such a beautiful written essay speaking volumes of taking back your story and your power and rising like a phoenix.
Sadly there were a few things I found disappointing, firstly there is one essay in here by a cismale and I found this essay to be so deeply problematic in the way it was written. I do believe that we need to be talking about male sexual assault but this essay, in my opinion, comes across as extremely tone-deaf, as we hear about how he listened to boys mock girls and he never says anything and is silently complacent in this. In addition to this, I found that many of the essays were tales about when they were girls written by middle-aged women that I felt will not truly connect with teens of today. I wish there had been so more diversity as there are not really anyone that talks about identifying as LGBTQIA.
But the biggest thing would be that I think the ebook is about 10 essays too long and I personally felt more beaten down than uplifted by the end of it. Overall though it serves it’s purpose, to create solidarity and strength among us all and remind young women they are not alone. A Powerful book that hopefully inspires a powerful generation, so that we can stop asking You Too?
I wish I had the words to describe where I should begin with the review of this book. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find them. This book was powerful, awe-inspiring and difficult to read. Most of us, if not all, have heard of the #metoo movement whether we have declared ourselves a part of it or whether we've just kept up with the stories that have been shared by brave and powerful individuals. In all honesty I had a very hard time reading this book. It took me ages to get through the stories since I received the e-ARC last year. It's not because it's poorly written, but how do you enjoy stories that are revolved around the trauma inflicted on so many women and men? It was heart-breaking and triggering for me as I too have been raped and sexually assaulted. It's not something that I share often because a few times that I have shared my story people have looked at me in disbelief. It's made me shut down and refrain from using my voice. I commended each and every man and woman that took part in sharing their story in this book regardless of their circumstance or how difficult it was to share their story. I think that one of the things that stood out the most to me in reading this book was the familiarity of the names of the individuals that shared their stories. Popular authors, authors that I have enjoyed described in detail how their autonomy of their bodies was stripped from them. It made me realize how many women and men have gone through the same trauma that I have. It didn't make me feel better about my circumstances, but it made me realize that this is too prevalent. So prevalent that it makes me wonder about the experiences my own daughter will have and that as her mother I will do anything and I mean anything to protect her.
There isn't anything to discuss in terms of plot because this is a non-fiction book. I instantly knew that I was going to rate the book five stars because you can't really put a "price" on the value of the bravery of these women and men. However, I will give a few trigger warnings for this book. It does include descriptions of sexual assault, rape, incest, and domestic violence. What this book does well is reinforce the principle that sexual assault looks different in every experience, but neither is more or less traumatic than the other. There are stories in which these writers were assaulted by teachers, friends, family, and strangers, but no matter who was behind the assault they all had to deal with some form of trauma. I don't think this is a book that I will ever read again and it isn't a book that I would define as "good." However, I do believe that this book is important and it is necessary that as many people pick it up as possible.
Books and discussions on this topic are so important for a variety of reasons; but most important of all to let anyone know that they are not alone. Everyone has a story, though we might not want to admit it even to ourselves or think we don't because it's nothing compared to what others have had to go through. Maybe we didn't think much about it, even if it did leaves us uncomfortable or maybe we've repressed it after all these years.
I spent a lot of the first half of this book just continually going "Ugh!' It was to a point where I thought that would be my review, just "Ugh!" It's not an easy thing to read, which is why so many don't want to talk about it either, and that is exactly why books like this need to exist.
These 25 essays cover #MeToo from a variety of angles proving that it's not just one thing and that it can mean different things to different people who have had to experience the same thing.
The best word I can use to descrive this collection of stories, would be powerful. The stories cover a wide range of experiences and each voice is important and impactful.
I think one thing that this book does amazingly well, is that it didn't shy away from anything, and while at times this can mean that reading it can be a little uncomfortable because of the subject matter. I also think that it's the best kind of uncomfortable, because these are stories that needed to be told. Voices that needed to be heard and subjects that shouldn't be hushed up to save people from feeling uncomfortable, because nothing will ever chance, if people don't speak out.
I think this book is a great collection of essays that continue to spark a coversation that needed to be sparked.
For me, I'd say ultimatelty that this is a powerful book that should be read. It does a great job as showing the different kinds of assult and the impact that it has on people.
Thank you to Netgalley & Harlequin Teen for providing me with an e-ARC of You Too? in exchange for an honest review.
Content Warning: A book focusing on sexual assault is obviously going to have some trigger-y material. There’s rape, there’s sexual assault, there’s pedophilia, there’s abuse, there’s incestuous rape; the list goes on. However, if you think you can handle it, then I definitely recommend reading regardless of the content warning. But, I never want anyone to be uncomfortable, so if this is something you can’t handle at this time, then totally understandable! Be safe, mentally & physically, my ghouls. ♥
It’s hard to review a book based on real-life & personal essays. I will never undermine another person’s story, regardless of writing style or whatever. So, this ‘review’ is more of a why you should read it & why I deem it as important, and not necessarily based on the actual words on the pages. If that makes sense.
I knew You Too? wouldn’t be an easy read. I had an inkling that I would cringe & I knew that some of the stories within would make my stomach turn. Sexual assault is a topic that is so, unfortunately, relevant in our world, and it needs to be something that we discuss more. It shouldn’t be taboo to talk about it.
Men and women should be able to stand up & be like, “hey this happened to me –” without fear of not being believed & without fear of being judged for whatever reason. The #MeToo movement was such an eye-opening moment for so many people. It was a time where those who’ve been sexually assaulted realized that they weren’t alone & that their story did matter; regardless of how ‘minimal’ they considered it compared to others.
You Too? is a collection of essays from a group of authors sharing their #MeToo stories. I find it to be such an important read, as they share what happened, how damaging it was to them & some of the responses they received from people they loved & trusted. It really opens your eyes to see the emotions & thoughts that people hide when it comes to sexual assault.
So, yes. As uncomfortable as this book may be, I definitely recommend You Too? I recommend it for those who’ve been sexually assaulted. I recommend it to those who have not. I recommend it to your daughters & to your sons. It’s time that we finally start talking about sexual assault.
You Too? is a very powerful collection of essays relating to the Me Too movement. Young readers will benefit from reading this. I cannot stress how important this collection is. Different women came together and shared their stories of rape, physical or verbal assault, and more me too stories that will help others find the strength to stand up for themselves. I only wish there was a book like this when I was a teenager. Highly recommended to all young women. You are not alone.
**This book does contain triggering themes involving rape/incest/sexual harassment/abuse**
You Too? is a collection of essays by various authors who are speaking up and speaking out about the sexual harassment and abuse they suffered. From childhood to the teenage years, and even into adulthood, these women (and men) don't hold back in retelling some of the most awful, nightmarish experiences they had to endure. These recollections will definitely elicit some serious emotions. There were times I was seething with rage. Other times I wanted to cry. A couple of times I felt physically ill. And one or two of the essays even triggered some of my own painful memories.
Regardless of sex/gender/race/ethnicity/age/etc, no one should have to go through sexual harassment or abuse. The authors who shared their stories in this book are some of the bravest people, and I commend them for finding the courage to speak out.
The #MeToo movement is so important in today's society, and after reading this book, I've come to realize it's never too late to come forward and let your own voice be heard.
You Too? is a powerful read, and I hope everyone (men and women; teens and adults) will take the time to read it and perhaps feel empowered to either share their own stories or help others who might still be too afraid to do so.
5 stars!
Because I have my own #MeToo story, I was definitely interested in reading this book and being able to recommend it to others. While I didn't completely finish the book, it's not because it wasn't worthwhile to read. It's because after a while the stories started to depress me a bit. Yes, I definitely connected with and felt so much about the stories and authors was true for me as well. And I do think it is an important book to have and for others to read. But for me I couldn't keep going because in the end, I just was getting more and more depressed. However I still will try to purchase it for my school library, because I think it is helpful to read and know that other people have dealt with situations that still today we don't always feel we can talk about or actually confront those who have done these things to us. There was even something in one of the stories that was very much that thought, that she wondered if she had only spoken up sooner or even done more if she could have saved others who might have had to go through what she did. There was also in one story something that really stuck out to me because it is something I have struggled with as well. There was a guy I who was a part of a group of friends I had from my part time job about 10 or so years ago. He said something that really stuck out to me, about how a girl only thinks a guy flirting is creepy when she is not attracted to him. In the one story that made me think of this comment, the author talked about how her boss, a boy that was like 19 when she was still 16 or 17, who was her boyfriend, did treat her special at work because she flirted back with him and let him touch her. Gave her extra time off, better jobs to do, etc. She quit when they broke up because it was too hard to see him every day. Her next job she found and was told shortly after that she'd only been hired because of her large chest. She was also told by those same fellow female coworkers if she would just flirt back and play along with the much older male manager's flirting and advances, she would again get lots of special privileges like easy tasks, more weekend days off, and the like. But with this much older man, it was creepier to her and unwanted. And in the end, when she did not give in, she ended up losing her job, and the other women who did use those tactics to their advantage were not happy with her putting up the resistance and causing problems.
Another big topic that came across and really stuck with me was about how we are taught as women not to be rude or make a big deal out of things. I currently work with a man who is about 20 years older than me, and he has always done things or said things that kind of are creepy in a sexually forward manner at times. But because it isn't anything major, no touching or any threats because he's not in a role of power to me, and other than those occasional comments he's really a pretty nice guy, I don't do anything. Even though other girls, younger than me, making him at least 40 years older than them, have expressed similar feelings about it. I should say something, I should, right? But is it worth it? That's the way our society works. And I hate it. But am I still a part of the problem not saying anything myself? So those are the things that made me not finish the book for myself. Although I did read through a few of the stories of authors that I have read before and wanted to support them as well.
I do highly recommend it. Just know that it will be a hard read for a lot of it, but worth it, and these stories deserve to be heard.
Disclaimer: I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Netgalley, YA Bound Book Tours and Inkyard Press for this free copy. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.
I don’t think you realize how much this anthology seriously hurt my heart. Especially since this novel is compiled of all essays from different authors and they told their real life experiences dealing with sexual abuse, sexual harassment, discrimination, racism. Just terrible things that as we were growing up, we didn’t realize that this was actually as bad and unspeakable as we thought until we grew up.
I feel like the one that I could relate to the most on various levels was the essay by Brownlee, because of the racism that she endured being a Black girl growing up. It’s interesting because in California, the racism wasn’t really as prevalent as when she lived in New Orleans, and it’s “funny” because that’s what I felt when I moved from Hawaii to Virginia. Just a very different group of people and while I also didn’t have to endure the sexual assault that she did during a school dance of all places, I could only imagine the shame she felt finding that out. Her story was just really one that I read and couldn’t help but see me in her.
I also really felt like Gurtler’s decision to make THAT essay the FIRST essay to read. Five years old, and being asked if she was lying. Being told that if she were to tell others, then they would blame her for what happened. My god. That part really just broke my heart, as did this entire novel because of the content and the fact that all of these stories took place in real life.
As stated in the very beginning of this novel, before the essays even start, the trigger warnings are clear and please take care of yourself before you start to read this novel. And I’m telling you now, the first essay will be a hard one to get through mostly because of her age when she was molested. Yes, she was molested. Just please be careful when you start to read these essays.
It’s also so hard to even really rate this novel because how can you put a rating on people’s experiences? I wouldn’t even want to have a negative feeling towards anything because I mean, who am I to really say anything about it, I guess? It’s hard. I had feelings throughout this whole novel for sure, and while this rating isn’t based on anything but my feelings on the novel and nothing else – no grammar issues, no pacing issues, nothing remotely constructive at all – I just had to really make sure that I was in the right mindset for this novel. Thank goodness I was.
Like Roxane Gay's "Not That Bad" for teens, this collection of essays reflects on the harassment, assault, and brushes with rape culture that these authors had when young (kids or teens) - and the lifelong effects those experiences had. The stories were incredibly heart-wrenching and powerful, but many of the essays ended with platitudes and cliches that diluted that power (although, I know this was written for teens, who maybe aren't savvy enough yet to get the messages without direct statements like that).
Content warnings: Rape, sexual assault, paedophilia, racism, homophobia, slut shaming, incest, fat shaming, men being disgusting, child-on-child sexual assault, sexual harassment, cults, and there are probably more that I am forgetting at this present moment. Safe to say, this book needs all of the content and trigger warnings.
Summarising my thoughts and feelings for You Too? has been a long process. I finished this book within a few days’ time in December of 2019 once I was given my ebook version, and it is one of the most harrowing books I have ever read.
It is non-fiction, so all of the essays within this book are true.
A fair amount of these essays left me hurt, angry, upset beyond reason, clenching my fists until the palms of my hands ached from my nails pressing into my flesh.
And the worst part is – these stories are all true.
Worse still? These stories happen every single day.
The essay collection starts off with one of the hardest ones – paedophilia. I was shaking so hard with rage by the time I finished that one (she was five! There is no way that she should have been disbelieved!) I had to walk away.
I honestly thought that I would have to politely email the YA Bound Book Tours group and tell them that I couldn’t continue on. This was too hard. Too emotionally wrecking. Just too much.
I gave it a day and I came back. The second essay was easier to read. Not to say that the content was any easier – none of the content or the essays in this anthology are easy, but I felt a little better mentally prepared to go into it.
There were so many – too many – essays in which the women who wrote them said that they felt like their stories weren’t needed, or weren’t necessary because they didn’t have it as bad as someone else. And that makes my heart hurt. Because even one sexual assault is too many. Every single assault is preventable if the perpetrator just keeps his disgusting hands to himself.
On a slightly sour note – I appreciated the one cis male perspective in this collection, but it was extremely tone deaf. I found myself completely angry at him for not only engaging in slut shaming and the dehumanisation of women, but actively participating in it, too. Being gay does not give you an excuse or an ‘out’ to treat women badly because you’re not ready to admit you’re gay, or come out. He is just as bad as the other perpetrators in this anthology.
Yes the sexual assault of men also needs to be talked about, but in a collection that is made up of everyone else being women, and them being so brave to share their stories, this one left a very sour taste in my mouth.
Rating this anthology is hard. I don’t generally like to rate non-fiction because this is someone’s life, these are essays about multiple people’s lives, and it feels wrong somehow to give that a rating.
My only other gripe is that this book is so very American. It speaks of things that only other Americans would know and/or recognise, but this collection could have been a lot worldlier if it tried.
Unfortunately, that one essay (and a few other ‘yikes’ moments in some other essays) made this a 4 star book for me.
I do want to warn anyone and everyone who picks up this book – it is heavy. It is meant to be heavy. It is shocking, and hurtful, and made me cry.
Please take heed of the resources in the back of the book.
Powerful anthology about others experiences with the Me too movement and how it doesn't just effect one person. Written as 25 different essays they are heartbreaking, inspiring, and moving. Difficult to read at times but well worth reading.
"You Too?" is a collection of 25 essays, mostly by published authors, with an introduction by editor Janet Gurtler, who also includes her own story. “In 2018, #MeToo stories began exploding across my social media feed, bringing back memories of the harassment I experienced as a young woman coming of age in the late seventies and early eighties.” As such, she “set out to collect stories from a diverse group of writers who were willing to share their personal encounters.”
Most of the authors tell their stories for the first time in these pages, often feeling that what they experienced wasn’t “bad enough” to be included in this anthology. It’s tough reading about the verbal and physical abuse experienced by these girls (and one boy) via the words and actions of boys and men, not only because of their sex but for their color, nationality, sexual orientation, even body size. They were made to feel like they had done something wrong and were left feeling both fear and shame. They reflect on these incidents and regret not having acted at the time and reporting the behavior of their abusers. This is the message they wish to convey to the young readers who may currently be experiencing the same sort of abuse:
“I should have been using my voice and standing up to harassment. […] Call out harassers. Speak for those who are too afraid, and let others speak for you when you can’t. There can be consequences for harassers and predators of all types - and there should be.”
On a positive note, these women all came out stronger because of what they endured. And, guess what? Me too.
Should be compulsory reading for all teens - both girls and boys - and their parents.
Warnings: coarse language, sexual references, rape, incest, LGBTQA themes.
This book is really, really rough read and I'm struggling to write a review for it. I think this book is extremely important for young girls to read. There are shared experiences among the stories that I found myself identifying with, and other stories where I found renewed strength within. Very difficult, but I am happy this book will be out in the world.
My one complaint about the novel is its format. I understand what the editor was going for with the hashtags in between every word, but it really threw me off, especially in the beginning.
Trigger Warnings: As a book about the #meToo movement, this deals with themes from catcalling or verbal abuse to rape and incest and everything in between. So, please take care and decide if you are in the right headspace to handle this book.
I’ve read quite a few books in past couple months that dealt with sexual harassment in the workplace and the rise of the #meToo movement. So, when I saw the announcement of this book in which many YA authors are sharing their own stories and letting young women know that they aren’t alone, I was very excited to read this book. And I really am honored to be a part of this blog tour.
This is a painful and difficult read, partly because of the experiences of the authors and how they are still common after all these years, partly also because they brought up many of my own memories which I may have tried to forget. It’s also a very diverse collection of experiences and each author talks about their own way of dealing with their trauma, and that’s definitely an important message for young women that there is no single right way to react or respond.
It took me a while to read it completely because I could only handle it in small doses, but nevertheless, it’s a very important book and I would love to give this to any young woman I know. But I also think it’s important for adult readers like me to read because we all have had these experiences and it’s good to know we are not alone.
I’m not going to rate any of the individual stories, just share my thoughts on each of them below:
It’s our Secret by Patty Blount
As a survivor of child molestation, the author asks a very timely question - when her parents asked her to keep it a secret about what happened to her, were they sparing her the ordeal of being dismissed, or were they just sparing themselves?
Wishing on Silver Dollars by Jennifer Brown
This was painful to read because it’s so relatable and common. The author delves into all the ways girls are sexualized since puberty (which is worse for the curvy girls) and how we are so used to verbal comments and leering and groping that by the time we are ready to start our careers, we just consider this harassment part of our lives. But what hit me most was the author talking about how we feel shame for being harassed when it’s the other person’s fault. This is definitely a lesson that every young woman needs to be told - it’s not your fault.
This is How it Ends by Tiffany Brownlee
As a young black girl with a sheltered upbringing, the author experienced both racial and sexual harassment and I really felt for her because she too concluded at that young age that it must be her fault. But as an educator currently, she emphasizes that such harassing conduct arises from ignorance or lack of empathy, and it’s necessary to teach kids to respect themselves and others, and exercise self-control.
Sugar, Spice and Not so Nice by Jess Capelle
The author’s harassment experiences and the way they are dismissed by the adults through the years are all too familiar, and she stresses that despite being taught from childhood that we girls should keep quiet and not make waves and just be nice, we really shouldn’t do that. We have a voice and we should use it to stand up for ourselves and not let anyone get away with harassing us.
Bus Stop Witchcraft by Kenna Clifford
As a young bisexual woman, the author talks about being a bit luckier to be able to grow up in the generation where #meToo movement is prominent and atleast some women are able to speak about their experiences. And she also talks about the need to speak our stories and make our voices heard.
Young but Not Powerless by Eva Darrows
The author talks about her experiences with harassment in school from teachers and how much worse it is than if the perpetrators were boys her own age, because these teachers had power over the students. And her mentioning that many girls knew about it and just warned younger girls to be safe, rather than reporting the issues just underlines the harsh reality that sometimes it’s easier to keep ourselves safe than try to get a harasser punished.
It Was Me Too by Dana L. Davis
As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, the author talks about how she internalized the shame that it was all her fault, and how it completely changed her as a person well into adulthood, how she learnt to just be aloof and hide and never put herself in a vulnerable position. This is another reality for so many women and it was heartbreaking to read about.
Anything but Ordinary by Ronni Davis
The author talks about the shame in wondering what she might have done and how her not acting her “color” had contributed to her being assaulted, and later on feeling anger and shame for all the instances when she didn’t speak up. There is also the feeling that she can’t use #meToo because what happened to her wasn’t too bad. But ultimately it’s about the fact that every single instance matters and we are not alone.
Not that Kind of Girl by Natasha Deen
The author talks about boundaries and emotional violence in her teenage years, and how traumatic it can feel when the whole school judges you for something you haven’t done. But she is also very graceful in her message that sometimes restraint is important, we should speak up for ourselves but never say anything in anger that we wouldn’t say in normal situations.
How do I look ? By Nicolas DiDomizio
As a young gay man in the closet, the author talks about how his shame about his body and weight made him accept the things that were done to him even when he knew they were wrong. And he makes a great point that self worth doesn’t and shouldn’t depend on how you look and I think it’s something we can all keep in mind.
Gray Lines by Namina Forna
As an African immigrant and also a child survivor of war, the author talks about not understanding the concept of personal space and just not making a fuss when a teacher violated it because she didn’t want to be a problem. But I’m glad that she was quick to recognize grooming and make herself safe after that, so I completely agree with her message that make a fuss and say no whenever anyone disrespects your personal boundaries, and do whatever you need to keep yourself safe.
No, Not Me! By Jenna Glass
This was definitely an eye opening read because the author talks about how we normalize so many harassing behaviors like flashing or groping or unwanted touching, never realizing that these are also forms of sexual assault. She talks about the importance of talking about these issues and not letting anyone get away with these kinds of actions without consequences.
Before Starbucks or Cell Phones by Janet Gurtler
The author’s experience was tough to read about, but I was also glad that she had atleast one teacher who listened. But the common theme of shame still comes through, with young girls always wondering if they did something that made the boys or men behave so badly. And I think that’s why the author’s message is important that we shouldn’t keep these things to ourselves, we should talk to and support each other, so that we may one day get to a world where a girl can say it has never happened to me.
The One we don’t Talk about by Teri Hall
This was absolutely horrific to read about and I don’t have words to describe the strength it must have taken for the author as a young girl to finally tell someone about all the abuse that was happening in her house. As the author says, believe in yourself and never let your abuser convince you that you don’t matter because you do.
A Long Overdue Confession by Ellen Hopkins
This is mostly the author introspecting her decisions when she was eighteen to have an affair with a married man and how she was taken advantage of due to her naïveté. She also wants to share the story to prevent if possible other younger girls from succumbing to older men’s attention and flattery, particularly those girls who already have body image issues.
Bathsheba by Mackenzi Lee
Through the Bible story of David and Bathsheba, the author tries to make the point that despite what we’ve been told since childhood, we are not responsible for making men comfortable or for their violent actions; none of our dressing or talking or anything is a reason for men to violate us and we should always remember that.
Burn by Saundra Mitchell
The author lists instances after instances where she was violated but couldn’t do anything because she felt trapped but her realization after she turned seventeen is something we can all hope for - to start believing in ourselves and finding our voice and never stopping ourselves from expressing our anger.
Just Smile by Ali Novak
The author’s story highlights the fact that even if we haven’t been physically assaulted, words flung against us can cause equal emotional trauma, and that’s why we should use our own words to tell our stories and never minimize what we’ve been through.
Boys Will be Boys By Eve Porinchak
Another experience where the boys’ actions are blamed on the girl’s clothes, but I was very glad to know the author had a supportive family and learnt to stand up for herself at a very young age. We all definitely need that conviction.
There is Strength in our Voices by Cheryl Rainfield
I can’t even begin to understand the strength it must have taken for the author to run away and survive her whole childhood where she was part of a cult and her own family raped and tortured her, but I tip my hat off to her for finding the resilience and the queer community that helped her. And that’s why she insists that it’s important to listen and talk to other survivors, so that we may help others while also helping ourselves and not feeling we’re alone in our ordeal.
Pretty Enough by Beth Revis
This is a story of the author’s realization that how wrong it was of her to internalize the feelings that only beautiful girls got harassed and because she wasn’t, it meant she wasn’t worth it. She talks about how harmful this divide is and basing self worth on looks is, and asks us all to understand that there is only one side - all of us women who have to stick up for each other and not let anyone else make us feel powerless with their words or actions.
My Oklahoma History by Andrea L. Rogers
As a Cherokee citizen from Oklahoma, the author uses her tribe’s history as a parallel to how indigenous women are treated - both have a right to their sovereignty but it’s always threatened. And she makes a wonderful point that women don’t need to forgive anyone for the purpose of moving on - forgiveness can be a consideration if someone is making amends but it means nothing if the violator has no regrets.
Class Valedictorian by Lulabel Seitz
As a young Asian woman who was assaulted by a rich white classmate in high school, the author talks about the ways in which she was silenced and disbelieved by those in power because they didn’t want to discomfort the perpetrator. When she says that money and holding onto old white power structures matter more, I don’t see anything wrong about it because that’s still the world we live in. But I admire her for speaking up even when she was forced not to, and trying to keep doing it for other people even at such a young age.
No Right Way to be Wronged by Mischa Thrace
This is a different take on all the above experiences but it’s not wrong in anyway. The author talks about how no one is owed our secrets or the details of what happened to us, and it’s totally our choice. It’s ok to not want to be a spokesperson for the cause or tweet about our issues. After her own assault, the author found it easier to deal with it by expressing her anger through learning Muay Thai and just like her, everyone has the right to find their own way of dealing with the trauma, even if it is silence.
Notes on Girlhood by Amy Zhang
The author talks about all the overwhelming feelings that one is bombarded with after a sexual assault happens, because we aren’t sure how to process the trauma; and navigating it becomes a big part of our life. She talks about being fortunate enough to have a friend group as well as a therapist who helped her untangle all her feelings and feel like herself again a little bit, and that it’s enough for now.