A true YA novel. James and Kat have been best friends since kindergarten. We are taken through their senior year of high school through two timelines. Both are struggling to discover who they really are. The ups and downs and stresses of their daily lives-biologically, social and psychologically. The struggle for identity is hard. Even the best of friends are going to have fights, but not every argument means the end of a friendship. All relationships take work but is everyone willing to do the work?

There are so few books that focus on friend breakups it should be a crime. They are one of the most terrible and painful events of life, and everyone has gone through at least one. Sometimes they’re not dramatic, sometimes it’s just reaching out less and less until you barely talk at all. Spalding has created a breakup that has dramatic moments, but is largely a story about two friends growing apart.

We get two separate POVs in this book, James who starts at the end of the year and works her way back, and Kat starts at the beginning of the year and moves forward. Both the girls clearly have their own voice, something that’s tricky with multiple POVs. I was initially really excited to have the story told backwards and forwards…but in practice it was confusing. I was never sure what events had happened in which timeline and where I was. It was hard to feel the loss of the friendship when it was strong in one timeline.

I think it was a unique thing to try, but the execution could have been a little better…although I’m not certain how I would have fixed it. In the end it just made the story harder to read. I would have preferred each girl alternating months going forward.

There are a lot of other great things going on in this book though! There are parents who are complex and dealing with their own life issues. They feel like real people, and the familial love is there. Young adult fiction so rarely showcases real feeling parents so I treasured that aspect of this book, especially when they’re dealing with things like divorce and death of a spouse etc. etc.

The romance was also not overbearing and extremely well written. There was an LGBT+ couple as well. The couples felt complex, they loved fiercely but still had a lot of issues that many younger couples face. Not everything was perfect and wonderful. They struggle with how to fit romance into their lives and with other issues that affect it – and that’s okay! They can still love each other!

The ending was sort of open, which I appreciated and didn’t. Sometimes I want to be sad for the sake of being sad. Still, it’s worth noting that sometimes friendships don’t crash entirely they just…turn into something different. Maybe you won’t always be as close as you are now but you don’t have to leave each other’s lives entirely.

I think We Used to Be Friends is a fantastic contemporary that focuses on female friendship more than romance, making it a rarity. It’s definitely worth a look if you want something fresh and fun, even if it’s a bit of a mess timeline wise.

It's been a few hours since I've finished this book and I really can't find strong feelings for it one way or another. I really love the premise of the story, the queer representation, the characters, the relationships, and the realistic feels of everything. Despite all of this I just wasn't really able to get into the book. I found myself accidentally skimming parts of it, the timeline was pretty confusing because I kept forgetting what month it was, and parts of the book just felt so drawn out with too little happening.

I wanted to love this book but I just don't. I would definitely recommend it for the positives I mentioned above, but I think my high expectations ended up making this book a bit of a letdown for me.

I just didn't like the narrative approach taken here. While I think writing one character from the end, and the other from the beginning, was a novel concept, I also felt it was unnecessary. I will say that I enjoyed the resolution of the novel, and what it leaves the reader to fill in on her own.

Oh, my heart. This book traces the slow dissolution of a friendship over a year, with dual narratives from each girl's perspective. Taking place throughout their senior year of high school, Kat's half moves forward in time while James's half moves backward (it took me some time to get used to this, but it worked beautifully). As the reader, you see the small cracks in the foundation as they lead to the end. It is painful and, as a warning, you will likely cry! Be ready!

Kat and James are complicated, compelling characters who, like all teenage girls, are trying to find their place in the world. And it's difficult (for them, and for all of us) to come to the realization that sometimes friendships take real work, and sometimes love isn't enough. This book felt excruciatingly real, and it validates the sadness and grief that comes with a changed friendship. I'm so glad it exists.

This book broke me, in kind of a good way. Having had many painful friend-breakups over the years, the story felt so raw, and so real.. I loved the way it was told in alternating perspectives, with one character telling the story "backwards" and the other telling it forwards -- it lent a sort of topsy-turvy-ness to the story that underscored just how disorienting and illogical growing apart from a best friend can feel.

3.5 stars. didn't hate, didn't love. I think people closer to the age group could feel more connected to the story!
Likes:
- this is YA that truly feels like YA.
- female/female relationship & bisexual rep
- the story is important to this age group - losing friends can feel like an intense break up and isn't something that is really talked about.
- all the characters felt very realistic to me!

In the middle?:
- both James and Kat were super frustrating to me - they both played a part in their friendship kind of falling apart but neither really wanted to own up to it. all of their issues could have been solved if they just communicated better BUT isn't that just a part of being young, a little selfish, and not having relationships completely figured out yet? I think this was a pretty good representation of friendships and how they can fall apart when you're young & dumb.

Dislikes:
- the non-linear narrative (James' chapters are told from end > beginning while Kat's are from beginning to end). it pretty confusing at first and to me, didn't add anything to the story.
- this felt a little too long for what it was.
- the ending was way too ambiguous for my liking.

Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it to be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now, I had a headache, when I finished this book, due to all the crying I did. Romantic breakups are painful, but we rarely acknowledge how traumatic a friend breakup can be. My tears are evidence, that Spalding did a fantastic job depicting the collapse of a storied friendship.

Spalding told this story from both Kat and James' point of view, but she did so, from opposite sides of the timeline. James' story begins at the end, with her leaving town for college, and Kat's starts from the beginning of the school year. I found the dual timeline to be quite successful and meaningful for me. James' narrative had more insight, since she could reflect on the past, while Kat's had more unknown's. Since there was overlap, I also experiences many things in multiple ways, and we all know, perspective is everything. It was interesting the way their life situations were flipped, too. Kat's year started with heartbreak, and ended with everything coming up roses, while it was the opposite for James.

James' point of the view definitely elicited more tears from me. Her life sort of imploded, and everything she believed in seemed like a lie. There were some positive things that came out of what happened, and Spalding left me hopeful for other things, but James lost a lot, and it broke my heart watching her slow retreat and self-imposed isolation.

Kat's side of the story made me smile a whole lot. Her family was still in the process of healing following her mother's death, and they were slowly regrouping. Not only was Kat's home life improving, but she fell in love and discovered a lot about herself, included that she was bisexual. The friend breakup seemed to leave more of a mark on Kat, as well, and she tried to make some changes in order to be a better person.

This was a story that resonated with me, because I have experienced those painful friend breakups, and I believe many others will be able to relate to Kat and James' story as well.

Overall: A sensitive and emotional tale of loss, love, healing, and self discovery.

This book has an interesting form, in that it is told through dual perspectives - one moving forward chronologically from the start of senior year, and the other moving backwards from the end. I have to be honest, while I admire the attempt to do something tricky, it didn't really work for me. I just found it confusing, and was often sitting there thinking "wait, has this thing happened yet in this timeline, or not?"

I think telling the story of a friend "breakup" as it were, is really important - it's a real thing that happens all the time but you don't see too many stories about it. It's pretty normal for people to grow apart, especially when they've known each other for such a long time. However, I think for me it would have made slightly more sense as a college/university-age story, as in my experience that's when values and experiences can start to diverge more and cause rifts in relationships because you're not necessarily sharing the same day-to-day.

This certainly wasn't a terrible book by any standards, but it didn't really do a whole lot for me unfortunately. I found the characters overall to be pretty unlikeable, and some of the more action-based parts to be sort of rushed and ill-explained.

**Thank you to ABRAMS Kids (Amulet Books), Netgalley, and Amy Spalding for a copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review**

We Used To Be Friends follows BFF's Kat and James through their senior year of high school, right up to when they leave for college. The twist is that Kat's version is told from beginning to end, and James' version is from end to beginning - and it's the story of a best friend break-up. Kat and James slowly grew apart over time during their senior year as they got ready to embark on new adventures. Both had a lot of big, personal events happen this year and it was just too hard to stay close.

Honestly, this book hit me in my feelings. I needed to take a day to gather my thoughts before writing this review. It was really good, don't get me wrong, but brought up some past issues within my own life that I wasn't necessarily expecting. But, I actually love when books seem real enough to affect you - whether positive or negative - which I think is a huge pro to WUTBF. While there was boy/girlfriend drama within the book, it was really focused on the friend relationship between Kat and James, which is rarely the main focus of a YA book, no matter the genre. I appreciated the author's ability to keep romantic relationships out of the forefront.

The reverse timelines was confusing as times. I started off strong with being able to keep it straight, but then got confused in the middle. By the end I was back on track, but I felt like I needed to write stuff down to keep dates in order. This may be due to reading it ebook style, I'm not sure how the print book will look. I do think the reverse timelines helped tell the story because you could see how events overlapped and were perceived differently between two drastically different viewpoints.

There was no happy ending. I think this was what killed me the most. I wanted a happy ending, some epilogue to remind me that these breakups can be a happy ending. I didn't get that, but it almost made the read more poignant because it's REAL. Not everything has a happy ending and that is okay. Sometimes relationships just fail over time and are replaced by others. It doesn't take away from the importance of the relationship.

Well done, Amy Spalding. Thank you for telling a story that will evoke powerful emotions in anyone who grew apart from a close friend during this time of life - when people grow up, change, and move away.

Friendships are massively important, in many ways even more so than family or relationships with significant others. Your childhood friends are the family you choose, and are usually around for a lot longer than any partners, but sometimes these key relationships can go sour too, Which is why I think it's great that Spalding has chosen to explore this in this book. As someone who's lost friends along the way (some fairly recently), I know that it can be very painful when someone you shared everything with and have a shared history with is lost from your life, whether through a big argument or just through the natural progression of time. So I really engaged with the subject matter of this book, and I think Kat and James are very well drawn and allow you to engage with the characters well.

The style of the book is reminiscent of films and plays like Blue Valentine and Merrily We Roll Along (which is also about the breakup of friendship). By having two timelines, one backwards and one forwards, Spalding allowed the story to play out from two different angles. However, this did sometimes make it difficult to remember what had happened already for one of the characters and what hadn't, which perhaps diminished the emotional intensity somewhat. All in all, though, I think this book is great.

3.5 stars

The title is certainly very on the nose.

From a technical aspect, this story was well-written, with diverse characters, and I enjoyed the way it moved backwards and forwards in time simultaneously.

That being said, I just didn't really feel it. I had a difficult time connecting with James and Kat's anger and resentment towards the slow disintegration of their friendship. Maybe I'm just too far from the intended audience, but it seemed like they were both just awful at communicating. I honestly was the most frustrated with James, because she came across like she expected Kat to be able to read her mind, and then got mad even when Kat was constantly trying to reach out and giving her space to talk. Was Kat really caught up in her new relationship? Absolutely. But James just didn't even try.

Okay this was absolutely beautiful and what a time in my personal life to read this...truly helped me reflect on my personal relationships and how I truly felt about the changes in my life. This book is a wonderful read and oh so emotionally involved.

I was intrigued by the title; I mean, We Used to Be Friends is very on the nose, but it’s exactly what this book is about, and I loved it for that. I feel like people forget that books portray people within a moment, and that sometimes, romances and friendships aren’t forever. We Used to Be Friends depicts the deterioration of a female friendship, not for any bad reasons but just because people grow away from each other sometimes.

The dual timelines were really developed. You pretty much know a general outline of what went down, but you only know from one girl, at different times. Kat’s plot line goes forward, as she realizes she’s bisexual (ownvoices!!) and dates a girl. Meanwhile, James’s narrative is told backwards; you know the end result of her pulling away but you only get to see pieces of it in Kat’s chapters.

I loved having both perspectives, especially because it emphasizes that the girls don’t “break up” (so to speak) for any one reason. James increasingly grows annoyed with Kat, not because of her sexuality, but because she’s always focused on herself and doesn’t see how her lack of support affects James. Kat is honestly oblivious to all of this; some people are just absorbed with their own lives, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. She’s just broken up with her boyfriend, a high-profile break-up if there ever was one, and she realizes she’s attracted to her new friend.

From the other side, James is dealing with her own break-up and her parents’ divorce, both of which Kat didn’t even know about. She doesn’t help with how bad the friendship gets because she internalizes all her feelings and keeps her irritation to herself, which honestly I relate to. This felt so real to me. When you’re close to someone, it’s not like you want to be annoyed with them, and you’re definitely not going to tell them.

This book had one of the best portrayals of outgrowing a friendship. Not for bad reasons, although not for good: it’s just something that happens. Even if you’ve been best friends with someone, in the end, you’re living as separate people, so it’s only natural for you to grow apart. It’s just so interesting and so relatable to me, having been a teenage girl with ex-best friends. There’s this whole person who you know a million little things about but you don’t even talk to anymore; it’s really such a sad occurrence. But again! A natural one! Pick We Used to Be Friends up whether you’ve felt this way or not!

There is nothing sadder than a heartbreak caused by losing a friend. This story was told in the past and present, a timeline that hits all the nostalgic feels.

I was anxious to read this ARC because I had enjoyed The Summer of Jordi Perez so much. In fact, a friend purchased the ARC for me through a charity auction but then it never arrived (even after she was assured that the auction would contact the author remind her to send the book) so that led to much disappointment for both of us. Reading the book was another disappointment. I had a hard time grasping the two timelines at first but eventually caught on. The biggest issue was that I didn't understand why I should care about either girl. Kat was clueless about how she was alienating her best friend as she filtered everything through her new relationship. James' excuses for not telling her best friend the LIFE-CHANGING events happening to her were weak and really unbelievable considering they are supposed to be best friends. It's no wonder both of them are sad about the other. And I totally expected a final chapter where we were given some hope with them making the first overtures to reconciliation.

Thank you NetGalley!

I think there are way to many books about there about relationship (love) breakups. I mean its always the same story boy meets girl and they fall in love. Boy breaks up with girl and she becomes a hot mess. Blah blah blah.

Finally, here is a story about something very important that happens all too often. Friendship breakups. Which I think hurt more than love breakups. What I loved most about this book is that it is told from both sides of Kat and James (a girl with a boys name) so you get a good look at their relationship and what happened to it.. I loved both of their characters and didn't believe it was a one sided loss. Sometimes people grow apart and its awful when it happens to people that close.

I'm saving this for my 13 year old to read...

Heartbreaking, this novel delves into a common break up that teenagers face, the best friend break up. Told in dual timelines, the reader is given a glimpse into the lives of the characters as they try to survive their senior year.

I really wanted to like this book, and to me it fell a little bit flat. The writing was good I just couldn't connect to the characters as much as I wanted to!

I received an advanced copy of this book through NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for the opportunity to read this book early. I very much enjoyed this book, although it can seem confusing at times with the reverse chronology. We Used to Be Friends is about 2 BFF's James (a girl) and Kat who've been besties since kindergarten. As they enter senior year of HS, we start off with Kat, but not before we zoom past to *after* their senior year and to James' perspective. I highly recommend re-reading the first chapter when you finish this book, it will make more sense.

Anyway, we go back and forth until we switch places in timeline of their friendship, which is tested with real life stuff going on with James' family issues and Kat's discovery of her interest in her new friend Quinn (a girl). One thing I was a little skeptical about was a character 17 yr old not knowing what heteronormative means. However, I'll let that pass as James had a lot on her plate, but it's interesting how she copes by getting into volunteering. It is a beautiful, sad, funny at times story, and I was only a little annoyed at the "duh"'s Kat likes to verbalize, which is a nervous tic. As someone who let years go by before forgiving my best friend and rekindling a friendship with her, I could relate to the plot of the book. Excellent read.