Love Her or Lose Her is the second book in Tessa Bailey’s Hot & Hammered series. A love story about a marriage on the rocks and about growing into who you were always meant to be, this novel is fun, sweet, intense and heartwarming. It stands very well on its own; Georgie and Travis from Fix Her Up, book one in the series, make frequent appearances here but you don’t need to have read their story to appreciate this one.

When a man flirts with her at work, faithfully married Rosie Vega makes a startling discovery – no one has made her feel admired in a long time. In fact, when she stops to think about it, no one has even made her feel seen in years. Her husband Dominic barely grunts at her when she gets home from work, much less talks to her. He never waits to eat dinner with her or invites her to watch TV with him. Even the physical side of the relationship is messed up. They have sex on a schedule – hot and passionate sex every Tuesday night, completely devoid of affection like it’s a booty call with a stranger. This is Tuesday night but that minor flirtation with a stranger has made Rosie determined that she won’t be doing anything but packing a suitcase and walking out the door once she gets home.

That’s exactly what she does: She tells a startled Dominic that she’s done, packs a bag and goes to her friend Bethany’s. But Dominic isn’t ready to give up on their marriage, so he starts dropping by her new abode to drop off the coat she forgot, or to warm her car up in the morning, and talking to her at the gym where they both work out and urging her to come home. In fact, he talks to her more at the gym in a few short minutes than he has in several years previously. Rosie does want to go back – but back to what they were when they were first together, not what they are now. She’s not sure they can change, but the desperation in Dominic’s voice has her agreeing to give him one more chance to make things right. She concedes they need marriage counseling and then deliberately chooses a therapist who is the opposite of what Dominic would want. She’s fairly confident that when Dominic gets a look at the weed smoking hippie with pillows rather than chairs in his office, he’ll walk out and that will tell her exactly what she needs to know; that Dominic isn’t willing to do whatever it takes to get them back on track.

Dominic surprises her. He not only sits through the initial session, he does the follow up homework. Having been told to write a letter expressing his feelings, he pens a note telling her how he felt taking her to the high school Homecoming dance their senior year – and how sorry he is that he doesn’t make her feel cherished every day. It’s a good start, but will love notes and therapy sessions on fluffy cushions really be enough to put this marriage back together?

I love how this relationship is depicted. Rosie and Dominic are not unkind to each other, nor are they emotionally indifferent. They love each other. The problem is that they have been taking each other for granted, making zero effort to connect in any way. Rosie works evenings in retail, while Dominic works during the day in construction. They do everything separately and don’t even greet each other when they cross paths. It’s not until they start counseling that they realize how thoroughly they’ve been neglecting each other.

The fact that both have been neglectful rather than cruel made it easy for me to root for Rosie and Dominic both as individuals and as a couple. The two of them have been together since their early teens and know each other very well. That familiarity, along with the fact that they’ve been together over a decade, had led them to a situation where they see each other as fixtures rather than living, breathing people with hopes, dreams and feelings. I loved how Rosie realized she needed more from life and began to pursue it. I adore a heroine who takes charge of her own destiny. Dominic’s a hard-working, quiet, considerate man whose main goal in life is to make Rosie happy. His problem was that he thought he could do that by copying his parent’s marriage but it turned out that wasn’t what was best for his own relationship. Once the counselor shows him why what he’s doing is wrong, he begins to make the changes he needs to make to fix his marriage. The fact that both Rosie and Dominic cherish each other enough to really work through the situation was wonderful and I really appreciated that the bulk of the story was about learning to be a team, building a genuine rapport and connecting. Too often romances try to sell instalust as love. That doesn’t happen here; we get an in-depth look at what each character is feeling and thinking and then get to see them interacting and building emotional intimacy. That gave me all the feels.

This story was building towards DIK status but it ran into some snags at the end. What had been a fairly serious – but still fun and enjoyable – love story develops a case of what I call ‘the sillies’ towards the end. Rather than just providing us with a reunited Rosie and Dominic, the author pulls out all the stops and has every possible dream come true for the couple. In some novels this would have been a good ending but since this story was all about working on your relationship and working for your dreams, having everything go magically right in the last few chapters felt a bit – much. I would have preferred a more realistic ending that was in keeping with the story the author had been telling all along.

That is a minor flaw, though, and doesn’t happen until near the end of Love Her or Lose Her. And frankly, if the author was going to make any mistake, that is the perfect one to make in a genre known for happy endings. I think fans of the author will be very pleased with this book and readers who love stories about an emotionally intimate relationship should rush out and buy it. They will find a lot to love here.

Rosie and Dominic were high school sweethearts who got married before he went to serve our country in Afghanistan. He came home different and Rosie has not been happy in their marriage, she doesn’t feel seen and heard, their relationship is just physical and not emotional. Dominic is a blue collar guy from a working class family and his dad showed love by providing for his family and that is all Dominic knows, he is taken aback when Rosie leaves. Dominic is loves Rosie deeply and agrees to couples therapy with a very untraditional therapist.

Why I Loved This Book: My husband is a lot like Dominic. He loves me, but he doesn’t always know how to show it. Tessa Bailey did an amazing job writing Dominic’s character, she really got inside the head of a guy who was raised to believe that you show your love by providing and that is all you need to do. There is one part where Rosie realizes that it takes two to tango and that she had a part in how their marriage fell apart; I FELT what Rosie was feeling, nerves and anxiety and I realized that sometimes I am full of complaints for my husband, but I too, have some flaws. That night my girls were out and I asked my husband what I do that I annoys him and he told me - I am organized with my time, but I don’t always organize things like our china cabinet or storage closets the way he would like. I didn’t take it personally, I took it constructively and if he’d like to reorganize the china cabinet and storage closets, he can have at it!

So I will admit that when I read Fix Her Up last year about Travis and Georgie, a former baseball player and a clown, I laughed out loud quite a bit, even though I found the story a little childish and at times random with the whole Just Us League start up etc. That said, I enjoyed it as a romantic comedy enough that I was very excited about the next book in the series featuring Rosie and Dominic, especially since they were both characters of colour AND two they were both already married and this was going to be a second chance at love, marriage rehab-type book. It was everything I thought I would love and what do you know, I DID really like it!

I think this was less laugh out loud funny than Fix Her Up but it was also a lot less silly and a lot more of a mature love story. The premise is that ever since Dominic returned from war in Afghanistan, he’s become a strong, silent type and he and the once love of his life, Rosie, barely even communicate beyond once a week sex. Rosie has been feeling neglected emotionally for years and unappreciated and she’s incredibly unhappy. She decides she can’t take it anymore and chooses to leave the marriage. This is a story about the work that is needed to keep a marriage going and to make a marriage work. I loved that in a romance-land world where we read books in which entire relationships and happily ever after are built on sexual compatibility, this book showed that good sex is not enough for a HEA and love is not enough either- there needs to be effort to communicate and understand each other as well. And I found that both very unique and interesting and incredibly sexy about this book. The sexual tension in this is at a million degrees.

Some of the downsides, I would say, are that obviously Dominic has some unresolved trauma issues about his time in Afghanistan that aren’t fully dealt with here. Also, it’s easy to look at Dominic and Rosie and judge and feel like they didn’t have significant marital problems, but the author does an excellent job outlining Rosie’s hopelessness in her marriage at the beginning in a way that I think will be very relatable to anyone who’s ever felt “is this marriage even worth continuing.” Of course, also, some may find that their marital problems were solved a little to easily, although I would counter this with the fact that from observation, lack of communication is often a major factor in situations where neither party just sucks as a human being. I really liked the use of the 5 Love Languages methodology- it is definitely true that we all have different ways we understand love and how it’s communicated and that exploration within these 2 characters made this feel like a stronger love story.

I also enjoyed the continued exploration of female friendships and female support groups through the Just Us League. I felt like it felt less silly and more like a group I wanted to be a part of in this book. Does this book have the most feminist and empowering message to women, no. But I think it’s message is real and relatable. Sometimes you just want to feel supported by and encouraged by the most important person in your life- whatever that looks like to you, and love and work are always worth the effort to get that. I really liked this one. It had a lot of depth for being so fluffy and I’m super excited for the next book in this series. I’m also hopeful that Stephen and Kristin get a book too because I definitely see opportunity for that as well. I’m loving this series and am super great fun to Avon and Harper Collins through NetGalley for an advanced look at this. Highly recommend if you like romance novels about married couples or are interested in an uplifting book about healing a broken marriage.

4 1/2 Second Chance Stars!

I was excited to read Love Her or Lose Her and get Rosie and Dominic's story. We got a taste of their chemistry in Fix Her Up and I was more than ready to see them tackle their marital issues. I couldn't have been cheering harder for a couple to succeed! They battled through a good portion of the story though. Their communication skills were definitely lacking. Especially in Dominic's case. He didn't use words, he used actions and often they were thoughtful gestures but were done without recognition.

Watching these two battle against the odds to work through their problems and find their way back to each other made for a touching story. In addition, I really enjoyed the interactions with their friends. They had a great support system of people watching out for them,

I really liked that this book was a different take on romance. Instead of portraying what it's like to meet and fall in love, it dealt with what it's like to try to fall back in love. It was heartbreaking at times to watch them stumble through the process. However, when they had success, nothing could have been more spectacular.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this companion novel to Fix Her Up. Rosie and Dominic are married, but they have been going through the motions ever since he got back from Afghanistan. Rosie is fed up and tired of being unhappy, so she makes the decision to leave her husband. He wants her back and to her immense surprise, he agrees to go to marriage counseling to see if they can save their marriage. I thought Rosie and Dominic had amazing chemistry. That was not the problem. I did think Dominic was a likable, but frustrating, character. It was so frustrating to see him do nice things for his wife in secret and to think that she didn't need anything but his paycheck. I loved how stubborn Rosie was and how willing she was to put her own happiness first, for once. It was nice seeing her finally go after her dream of owning a restaurant. I thought this author did a great job of showing these two people slowly let down their guards to each other and try to work on their marriage. Marriage is tough and these people were willing to put in the work to fix it. I also liked that Rosie started to acknowledge what role she played in the breakdown of their marriage. Yes, Dominic was cold and distant after coming back from Afghanistan, but Rosie played her part as well.

So what didn't I like about this one? Well, it was a bit annoying that Rosie got turned on about EVERYTHING Dominic said and did. I thought the author went overboard with that. For example, Dominic wrote Rosie a letter to explain how he felt about her. This was homework right after joining therapy. Even though there was NOTHING sexual in the letter, Rosie was so turned on she couldn't see straight. Oy. Also, I was so incredibly frustrated with Dominic's decision to keep the secret from Rosie. I won't give away any spoilers, but I just wanted to strangle him for continuing to lie to her.

All in all, this was a great read and I am really looking forward to the next novel in this series.

Not going to lie, I was a little scared to read a romance about two people trying to put back together a marriage that’s been falling apart for years. But I trusted Tessa Bailey to do it so, so right—and she delivered.

Really. In the space of one scene I went from tears trickling down my face to hysterical giggling. Rosie and Dom are an absolute delight, as are all our favorite characters from the town at large. There was something about this couple’s quiet hurts that I found really resonated with me.

Love Her or Lose Her is funny, deeply emotional, impossibly sweet, and—obviously—extremely sexy. I adored it.

Thank you to HarperCollins Publishers and NetGalley for the ARC, in exchange for an honest review.

Tessa Bailey is quickly becoming one of my favorite steamy romance authors! I loved this book, Love Her or Lose Her, following Dominic and Rosie. After meeting these characters in Fix Her Up, Bailey’s previous book, I was excited to learn more about their relationship. Rosie and Dom have such an intense chemistry, it’s so much fun to read. And honestly, I wanted to try her Argentinian food because it was described so deliciously in the book.

5 stars to Tessa Bailey and her novel, Love Her or Lose Her. I can’t wait to read more from her!

Dominic and Rosie are high school sweethearts. After they married, Dominic left to go overseas and serve his country. Their relationship struggle during his time away, and when he came back, they didn't find their original footing. After years of living with a stranger, Rosie decided to leave her husband. This was just the wake up Dominic needed to realize things had to change.

After reading Fix Her Up, I was really intrigued about Dominic and Rosie's relationship. Usually romance novels are about the meeting and falling in love, whereas this one is about a married couple on the rocks.

You follow Rosie and Dominic as they finally come to terms that their marriage isn't perfect and they need to make some changes. After Rosie leaves Dominic, she suggests they go to marriage counseling, thinking there's no way Dominic will say yes, but he does! They meet with this strange, hippy counselor and do some intimate, strange activities to work through their problems.

Overall, I did enjoy the book. I found their problems to be pretty relatable, they got in this routine and forgot to spice it up and DATE and COMMUNICATE. I feel these are very common mistakes that happen in marriages everyday. I did become frustrated with both of them, for their secrets and lack of communication. I just wanted to scream at them to stop being so stubborn!!

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for a review.

4 Stars / 3 Steam Fans

I enjoyed this next book in the Hot & Hammered Series because it deals with a topic that is not usually talked about in contemporary romance. Married couple Rosie and Dominic are at a low point in their marriage where they decide that it is time to let things go. However, neither of them wants to let go of the love that they have, so this is their journey to find out if love is worth the fight. I did feel like there were a few topics that were introduced into the journey that was not resolved or explored, but overall there was a lightness, strength, and sexiness that connected Rosie and Dominic's journey to things that happen during real-life marriages.

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I wanted to LOVE this as much as I loved Fix Her Up and this book just fell short for me!! I was a little disappointed truth be told. It just didn’t live up to my expectations or Fix Her Up.

Fix Her Up was such a great read unfortunately this one didn't come close to hitting that same mark. It was oh so steamy but I just couldn’t connect with Dominic and Rosie. It lacked overall plot and / or twist for me. If you’re looking for a second chance romance, definitely give it a try. I hope you enjoy it. For me it was just alright. I definitely needed a little more from Dominic and Rosie.

Thank you Netgalley for an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

I’m shocked that I enjoyed this as much as I did. Book one in series, Fix Her Up, was...not my favorite. Didn’t love the couple together, didn’t really like the male lead at all, didn’t like the gratuitous use of “baby girl” as a pet name. (FIFTY-TWO TIMES.)

Another strike against Love Her or Lose Her is that it centers on an already married couple whose marriage is ending. Cheery, huh? And also not something I think of myself as enjoying.

So it’s a bit of a miracle that I read this one at all. But I read the synopsis and was intrigued. So much so that I requested an arc.

Dominic and Rosie are amazing together. So believable. I don’t think anyone could deny their passion for each other. They have, however, fallen into a terrible rut. They don’t talk. They don’t share their feelings. They don’t know anything about each other’s lives anymore. The only element of their marriage still standing is the physical. Whoo, boy. They are still going strong in the department.

What I loved most about Dominic and Rosie’s story is how much they both grow and evolve over the course of the book. Especially Dom. Some negative reviews I’ve read complain about how “alpha” he is. And that’s true. He was raised by extremely traditional parents. Especially his father. And so, as a husband, he believes his role is to provide, to protect, and to never ever ever show weakness or emotion. Which is, of course, exactly what Rosie needs him to do.

Dominic is a lesson in toxic masculinity. It was heartbreaking to watch him wrestle with his feelings and self-perceived “weaknesses.” Fortunately, he thoroughly and convincingly changes for the better. Both his and Rosie's stubbornness was frustrating, but believable.

Side note: this one also features a ridiculous pet name (honey girl) ((eww)) but it’s less frequent and, thus, less hideous than in the first book.


So glad I didn’t give up on this series and gave Rosie and Dom a go.

4 stars.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for an advance copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

So I might have been in the minority in that I really liked the first book in this series and I was hoping I would like this one just as well. I had a hard time connecting to this couple, probably because it's not a storyline I can connect with since I've never been married and dealt with the issues that can spring up in a long term relationship. I did start to love Rosie more, she was a little bit of a sad-sack in Fix Her Up. Seeing her relationship and the world through her perspective and her relationship in this book I could understand her better. I like Dominic okay, I think the character arc was believable and the relationship and issues seemed so as well. I love the supporting characters and wished we had more interactions with them -- although sometimes I found myself caring more for the supporting characters than the main couple. Overall, I think it was a strong addition to the series as a building-block to the next book in the series.

Childhood sweethearts Rosie and Dominic married nearly ten years ago before Dominic's first deployment overseas. They used to spend hours just talking and sharing their hopes and dreams for their future, but over time, the talk has fizzled out. To the point where they practically live in silence - except for their routine sexytimes on Tuesdays.

Then one day Rosie has decided she's had enough. She's tired of being silent, she's tired of putting her dreams on hold for no reason. So she leaves.

But Rosie and Dominic's relationship is built on a foundation of true undeniable love. Neither one really wants to see the marriage end. When Dominic agrees to marriage counselling, both Rosie and Dominic will learn what the other needs in order to salvage their marriage.

When they think progress is being made and they can move forward, could a long-kept secret by Dominic bring things crumbling down?

I think I can honestly say that Love Her or Lose Her is the rare romance I've read tackling issues within a marriage where the people are still together. Typically they're either already divorced for years and find their way back to one another or they're just divorced. I liked seeing the work Rosie and Dominic put into their marriage, that they put into the problems in their marriage to try to fix what is broken. I loved that Tessa Bailey gives readers both sides of the coin. The story is told from both Rosie and Dominic's point of view and you can see where each played a part in how their marriage has gotten to the point it's in at the beginning. Although I will say that Dominic is painted as more of the problem with his inability to open up to Rosie. It's something that has long-reaching consequences, but by the end I don't feel like we truly figure out why Dominic slowly closed himself off to Rosie. Was is things he saw overseas? His upbringing? Is it the fact that they've been together for so long? All of these are kind of batted around as possibly reasons, but I never felt like we get down to the actual source. Likewise with Rosie. I don't know if it's supposed to be a little superfluous or vague enough that readers can see themselves in and more clearly identify with the characters so form that connection. If it's a commentary on how marriages - relationships in general - are constant work. That once you slack off in putting in the effort the results will never be good. Part of me sees this and agrees, but part of me wanted just a little more out of Rosie and Dominic fixing their problems.

I didn't read the first book in the series and for all intents and purposes you don't really have to, but I do wonder if, as secondary characters, we see a little more of the marriage problems creeping up in Rosie and Dominic's relationship before where we start at the beginning of their own story. Based on how the other secondary characters are featured in this one, I'm going to assume that's a yes.

Speaking of, Tessa Bailey had a few great sparking moments between a couple of said secondary characters that has completely ensnared me into needing to read the next book when it's available.

Love Her or Lose Her is the first book I've read by Tessa Bailey and for all that I think it's supposed to be more light-hearted, I thought the seriousness of dealing with a broken marriage was well done. The fact that sometimes love may not be enough is startling, but that just means you have to fight harder for it if it's truly important.

I'm not gonna lie - I love Tessa Bailey and I loved Fix Her Up, so I was super stoked for Love Her or Lose Her and Rosie and Dominic's story. As a married person (whose relationship is far from perfect), so many parts of their story hit so very close to home, which made the reading experience very cathartic and emotional for me. It meant a lot to me personally to see Rosie stand up for herself and prioritize her emotional needs - it is so common for women to put our needs and feelings on the back burner for so long that we forget that we even have them, let alone the fact that they are not being met. I also really appreciated that BOTH partners had to take responsibility for the things that were wrong in their relationship. However, a lot of the plot and issues in their relationship stem from a massive failure (on both of their parts) to communicate. While that is so very true to life, it is also one of my biggest pet peeves in books AND in this case, the failure to communicate was on a scale that I just could not understand and it honestly dampened my joy in reading. That being said, I really did enjoy the book - it had all the emotions and heat that I've come to expect and love from Tessa Bailey. I"m really excited to continue on with the series, especially since the next book appears to be enemies to lovers and there's a child involved! 4 out of 5 wine glasses.

Absolutely loved this follow up to Tessa Bailey's first in the series. I loved all the characters and the fact that this is about a marriage that is in trouble rather than a couple first starting out. I liked seeing the characters progress and grow to a more healthy place in their relationship.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I don't have a lot to say about this book except that I wish I could give it zero stars. I don't know how I went from enjoying Fix Her Up to HATING this sequel but I do. I'm just plainly done with reading Tessa Bailey's work too. It took me too long to get through this book and I just didn't care about these two after a point. It went from okay to terrible. It was repetitive and there was nothing worth rooting for with Rosie and Dominic. Dominic is a cave man who is crap at communicating and apparently all they have in common with their marriage is sex. So. MUCH. SEX. Cringe-worthy sex scenes that I just skimmed through at some point because it was non-stop. Why can't you communicate without eye-fucking each other or wishing you could tear each other's clothes off? Come on, already. They should have gotten a divorce honestly. Who buys a house in secret and sits on it for over a YEAR? A psychopath, that's who.

This book made me question my love of romance books. Am I too cynical for them? Do I hate them? No. I just hate this one.

While we get a little look at Dom & Rosie in the first book of this series, Fix Her Up, I was so glad to see that they were getting a book to themselves. I wasn't the biggest fan of Fix Her Up, but I really enjoyed this story. Dominic & Rosie are high school sweethearts & have been together for 10 years, but Rosie is realizing that their marriage isn't what it should be. I loved the look into their relationship & seeing what they had to work through, and I really enjoyed how much Rosie grew. This had some great steamy parts too. I want more of Dom & Rosie!

A marriage in trouble story is basically the most serious of second chance romances, which we all know I have a love/hate relationship with. But Rosie and Dom loved each other so much, and you were pulling for them the entire time. I loved this story.

Rosie and Dominic Vega had a picture perfect relationship, until they didn't. How did it happen? Rosie doesn't know, she just knows she can't live like this anymore. Rosie has always wanted to open her own restaurant, but she's shelved her dreams for a long time, never thinking it was the right time to act on them. Dom has gotten so quiet in the years since he came home from deployment, and Rosie doesn't know what to do when he just doesn't talk to her anymore. He just works and comes home, and things never change. They've been dancing around their issues for years, and when things boil over, they're both left not knowing how to move forward. When Rosie finally decides to leave her husband, her love, her childhood sweetheart, she thinks there's no going back. But Dom isn't willing to give her up without a fight. He agrees to do WHATEVER it takes to make her come home, and when she proposes last resort marriage counseling, he doesn't bat an eye.

Their marriage counselor was hysterical: a pothead hippie, with office decor straight out of the 1960s. But, he certainly knew his stuff, and he helped them realize they weren't speaking the same love language. As an aside, I learned about the 5 Love Languages in my pre-marital counseling class. And thank god for that, because my hubs' language and mine are VERY different. In fact, they are the same as our hero and heroine. Dom (and my own husband) shows his love with acts of service, and Rosie (and me!) with words of affirmation. This struggle resonated so strongly with me, as we've had to learn to interpret each other's languages over the years, and its not easy. Watching them struggle to understand each other just really hit home in my heart. And Dom's letter to Rosie? *Swoons Forever*

Rosie and Dom had flaming physical chemistry like whoa, but their emotional intimacy had been sorely depleted. Watching them find their way back to each other's hearts was painful, and beautiful, and I just loved their love so much. They both had gotten so bogged down in the day-to-day, that things were totally out of control before they knew it. I'm sure everyone can relate to that in some way. But they both compounded the issue by not communicating, and not sharing their feelings, along with other important truths, and it just made everything worse.

Rosie and Dom's friend group is truly outstanding, and seeing all their interactions were as enjoyable as they were in book 1 (which I also loved with my whole heart!). Having a new face added, in Wes, and seeing his spark with hilarious Bethany was so great, and I can't wait for their book up next!

This book had my emotions on a yo-yo the whole time, but always, I was pulling for Rosie and Dom. Hoping they could each get out of their own way, and make the changes they needed to make to be all they could for each other, and for themselves. They both learned how to support each other, while letting the other person fly, and it was so satisfying. I highly recommend this story.

This is the second in a series, I read and enjoyed the first, Fix Her Up last year. As much as I liked the first book I freaking loved this one, way more than I was expecting to actually. It was just as racy and steamy as the first book but it also had so much emotional depth which was just a great balance for me.

I really liked that this focused on a married couple that was having issues. For me, that’s much more relatable than a super young couple trying to figure things out. So many of Rosie and Dom’s problems are ones that I think many married couples face and it was refreshing to see said issues explored honestly. The characterization of both of them was fantastic, I really felt like I knew both of them by the end and felt like they were both portrayed in a raw and authentic manner.

Guys I just loved this one and if you like your romance novel super spicy then don’t miss this one! I love when the second in a series is just as good, or in this case, better and I’m so excited to see where it goes next.

Heat Factor: Sex is the one thing that’s not a problem in their marriage.
Character Chemistry: At times felt a bit one-sided
Plot: Toxic masculinity + lack of communication = marriage in trouble
Overall: Bailey closed it really well, but I had some hangups.

Okay, so, on the one hand, this book is actually a pretty good marriage in trouble book, and on the other hand it has some content that had me frowning.

For starters, marriage in trouble in contemporary romance apparently has this “I’m going to surprise my spouse by spontaneously leaving them and asking for a divorce” thing that makes me completely bonkers. They also apparently involve one partner, usually the one who spontaneously decided that the relationship is over with no warning for the other partner, being unwilling to make an effort to fix the marriage. In real life, this marriage is already absolute garbage.

So okay fine, we’re in Romancelandia, and we need that drama. In this case, Rosie married her childhood sweetheart, Dominic, and everything seemed magical and wonderful until he came home from Afghanistan with an inferiority complex and they stopped talking to each other.

We meet Rosie while she’s selling perfume, working for a horrible manager in a job she absolutely hates because she really wants to own her own restaurant. On this particular evening, the one night a week that she falls into bed with her husband because they just can’t resist each other anymore (?), she’s decided she’s not going to be in an empty marriage for another day. It’s like she picks the one unsatisfactory thing about her life that she can control and goes after that rather than taking the opportunity to course correct anywhere else.

Dominic doesn’t come across particularly well in the interaction when Rosie leaves. He doesn’t say anything to her when she comes home and then basically treats her like a piece of meat. Only a few pages later, we find out that he demonstrates his caring for her in invisible ways, because he’s the provider and it’s his job to take care of his wife and he shouldn’t be rewarded for it. Unfortunately, since Rosie has no idea that Dominic isn’t taking her for granted, she has no opportunity to realize that Dominic appreciates her. Ergo, when Dominic asks her what he has to do to fix things, she says therapy because he’d never agree in a million years, and when he does agree, she doesn’t make a good faith attempt to find a therapist, she admits to picking the most “woo woo” one she can find.

The good thing about this marriage in trouble is that once they start the therapy, they actually start communicating and things immediately get better. It’s like, I don’t know, relationships thrive on good, open, honest communication or something. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of toxic masculinity going on in this book, and Dominic just can’t fully be honest. He also categorically refuses to acknowledge that Rosie might not be meeting all of his needs and takes all the blame for the marriage problems on his shoulders. It’s clearly a marriage of equals. So on the one hand they really start to see each other again and talk and it’s really nice, and on the other hand, we have to save up some drama for the final explosion of action.

Let’s talk about that toxic masculinity. One of the problems that Dominic has is that he needs to be the provider, that as the provider he’s demonstrating his love to his partner. On the one hand, this seems like a legitimate expression of caring. But...when I was in high school, a peer said to me, “I just think the man should be the provider” as the reason that she wasn’t that worried about what she was doing after college and my head exploded. Because why would you voluntarily destroy your earning potential and independence like that? So I understood where Dominic was coming from as a character, but this was spectacularly unappealing to me.

Since the provider aspect was Dominic’s way of demonstrating his caring, I had to take that with a little grain of salt, but that wasn’t all. Dominic uses the endearment “honey girl,” which, combined with the paternalistic provider thing made me feel like he didn’t see Rosie as a full-fledged adult human. He also possessively identifies her as his wife. He wants to have sex with his wife. He’s not going to let others come between him and his wife. It’s his responsibility to take care of his wife. Again, it doesn’t seem like he’s acknowledging Rosie’s personhood and value other than as his wife. He’s also possessive in other ways, but they’re pretty typical romance “you’re my woman and I need to take care of you and know you’re safe” sorts of reactions to situations.

Then there’s this cooking thing. Rosie wants to own a restaurant, and she absolutely loves cooking. I didn’t think a thing of it that the kitchen was her domain in her house. It was a little sad that Dominic said that her demonstration of her love for him was preparing him food...but she actually prepared it for the household, not just for him. Anyway, enjoying cooking and taking that responsibility for household maintenance is totally legitimate. BUT THEN, Rosie and her friends go to Manhattan for a ladies’ night and one of her friends says, “He about died when I told him his dinner was in the microwave.” And I was like, her husband can’t make his own dinner? Or get leftovers out of the fridge? Is he an adult? And just like that, Rosie being the cook in the house wasn’t an aspect of Rosie’s personality anymore, it was her role as the woman in the relationship.

So here I am, on the one hand really enjoying how these two fix this marriage (I admit I got teary when it all came right down to it), but on the other hand I got hung up on all this other nonsense going on. As I read, I simply reminded myself that everybody's not me, and these two figured out how to love each other in their own way.

I voluntarily read and reviewed a complimentary copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. We disclose this in accordance with 16 CFR §255.

This review is also available at The Smut Report.