<b> 3 'I'm-still-not-sure-how-to-rate-this-book' stars...</b>

I am so unsure how I feel about this book.

This was one of my most anticipated reads of the year. An intense, dramatic cult story? Sign me right up. But something about this book just didn't work for me.

I don't know what it was.

This book is a very sad read. I mean, really sad. Which is normally my favorite type of book. <i>A Little Life</i> and <i>All the Ugly and Wonderful Things</i> are up there on my favorites list. I'm definitely a person that is drawn to very sad reads.

But this book, just felt so melancholy, and I did not enjoy reading it.

I think I've come to realize that books marketed as 'feminist' novels are not for me. I've found that, that often just translates to <i>the women in this story endure really, horrifying and tragic things.</i> Not really the empowering, feminist story I'm expecting.

<b>There is so much sadness in this story. Like seriously, so much. Everything awful happens to at least one person in this story: rape, drugs/addiction, pedophilia, violence, sex-work and starvation just to name a few. And while yes, the main character of this story, fourteen-year-old Lacey May is resilient AF, this story did not leave me feeling empowered to be a woman. It just left me really sad. And really happy to be done with this book.</b>

I do think this book is worth a read, it's totally going to be a book that gets a ton of buzz. I'm just not sure how I feel about it. The writing is very good, and you can tell the author is a super talented storyteller. I think this book was just not for me.

One last thing - there's <i>a lot</i> of period talk, and I mean a lot. I guess that's what a feminist book means nowadays? I don't know why so many feminist books have to make a woman's period such an integral part of the story. Women get periods (I would know), but that doesn't mean I want to read about it for 300 pages. #feminism?

Ok, I'll stop. I'm just sooooooo disappointed that I didn't love this story more.

Such is life.

Yikes, I'm in a mood. Must be my period.

A big thanks to Catapult, Counterpoint Press, Soft Skull Press and NetGalley for the ARC and wanting my honest opinions!

First and foremost, I think a really good book makes you feel things - even if those things repulse you and make you uncomfortable. Godshot had me feeling everything- from disgust at manipulation in the name of religion to pure joy at characters finding themselves. An unexpected thing I loved about this book was the subtle humor sprinkled in, making the heavy topics of this book just a tiny bit lighter.

4.5
A really good first novel!
There is a drought going on in Peaches, California.
There is also a religious cult in that town, led by Pastor Vern.
14 yr old Lacey and her alcoholic mother, well..actually her whole family are members of this cult.
Her mother abandons her, she’s stuck in this cult.
Pastor Vern comes up with a secret “assignment” given to the teenagers in this cult that once it is completed, is supposed to make the rains fall in the town again.
This is a horrific assignment!
I loved Lacey’s character and it was maddening to see all she had to go through but what a journey.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This was a really well written book, but a very hard book to read, if that makes any sense. The subject matter was very moving - both beautiful at times and also repulsive. It's hard to put into words how I feel about it because I am honestly still thinking about the characters and the book itself. I feel very compelled by it - I would definitely recommend reading it. 4.5 stars!

Lacey is a 14 year old girl being brought up in an odd cult in Peaches, California. It is a deeply moving and emotionally thrilling coming of age story set in a bizarre world of ritual, disappointment, emotional upheaval and growing up. It is a novel not to be missed!

Penetrating—Razor sharp—Disturbing—Edgy—Repressive—Terrifying—Scintillating.....transformative.....and painful depths of sadness that scratches continuously at your emotions.....*Debut*.

From the first page- to the last- ( crazy-addicting towards the end)....I couldn’t put this book down. I lost hours of sleep last night — it was worth it.

If this is the new ‘it’.....BUZZ book .....during the 2020/coronavirus year....I AGREE!

Lacey May had just turned fourteen years of age. She was still a board-chested child in the eyes of God and Pastor Vern, and so she prayed day and night for her blood to come—to flood the bed she shared with her mother.
Lacey May’s mother had “an assignment” ....( so much mystery as to what that assignment was: her mother didn’t tell her what it was)....but Lacey May’s two best friends, Denay and Taffy had their blood months before Lacy May did. They smiled and walked proud to church. Lacey May wanted to be part of the club....so she told Pastor Vern - the secret her mother had wanted her to keep..
Lacey May desperately wanted to be recognized for her faith. She wanted to be obedient in the eyes of God. She knew she was never to have I’ll feelings toward the church or of Pastor Vern. ( who likened himself to Jesus as an equal or even superior to him).

Vern had shown their town, ‘Peaches’, ( a fictional town outside of Fresno, California), what he could do- what his power could do....where drought was of serious concern in their little county—population
1,008, barely 3.2. Square miles in size—Vern summoned something from nothing....rain had finally flooded the streets....”no one was ever the same after that”.

Lacey May, also knew Pastor Vern was captivated by her mother, Louise’s beauty.
Lacey May wanted to be ‘captivated’ in the eyes of Pastor Vern. She was curious - she wanted “an assignment”, too.

While reading this book — I thought about the many young daughters - around the world - who ( when coming of age), often - even without consciously being aware - compared, competed, desired, to be like their mothers- or to be better then them. Many years of mis-understandings- assumptions - partial truths - between daughters and their mothers.
Daughters test their mothers- tested what separated them from the greater world’s messages ( but with limited eyes - with naivety- not a full plate of truth). It’s as if the mystery of life itself leads to the possibility of a dangerous unknown path.

It was so easy to see the inner voice of Lacey May. She was just beginning - ( while looking back at her childhood)> all of only fourteen years behind her - to draw conclusions about her mother. I wondered if Lacy May’s views of her mother were going to help her grow into an independent strong young adult - or - would she be damaged by them.

“And who is my mother then?
She was a day late and a dollar short, a water bottle of gin in her purse, in her glove box, a waitressing job at the Grape Tray, and one lousy boyfriend after another who sat potbellied and spread-legged in our kitchen, yellowed fingers ashing cigarettes and two chili cans”. ”And me?”
“I was only her bastard daughter, unsaved and seven years old, daddyless and dirt-kneed, whole mind a sin plain, my fingers pocketing gumdrops from the candy store, eyes watching cartoons of coyotes dropping anvils on heads. Someone I can hardly remember. But thank the good God, I learned that day, the past was of no matter. The rain soaked my sundress and Vern blessed us out of that life and into another”.

“Vern wanted the women pretty because everything Godsaved was beautiful. He wanted the women pretty maybe, I wondered sometimes but did not say, to attract infidels to the church, to dangle a prize to be awarded on the other side of conversion. Nevertheless, it was some thing of evil to make a man stumble”.

“Women, God created beauty.
Women, lead men not into temptation”.

“But what was my mother to do with your beauty? She couldn’t pray it away. It came up from inside her. It was not just the arrangement of eyes and nose and mouth. It was something unnameable that could not be achieved with make up or manipulation of hairstyle. She had a gap between her front teeth that she considered an imperfection, but it was wet through her beauty over the edge. It drove men crazy”.

“My mother never liked to talk about how she was before transformation. After my father left, her drinking had taken her over like flames through a house. I remember feeling scared for us sometimes, when she drove down the road swerving and breaking late. When she would close her self in our room for days, silent, and I sleep on the couch watching television late into the night, M. A.S.H and I LOVE LUCY. For a while she had a boyfriend who didn’t wear pants around our apartment and I could see his flesh poking out from under his T-shirts. His eyes were always bleary, and he gave me sapphire earrings one night while my mother was passed out. He had pulled me close to him so he could put them on me, only to find I didn’t have pierced ears. He bent me over his lap that night. He pierced them with the dull poke of the earrings themselves while I called out for my mother and she never came. what a pretty little girl I was, he said, when it was over. And now, looking at Pastor Vern, my heart surged with affection thinking of that time, for it was he who had delivered us out of it”.
“The conditions of deliverance were these: one, that my mother never drink again; two, that she remain chaste, a bride to the church”.

“How I wanted to fix it for her. How I wanted the world to be good enough so she wouldn’t have to feel it’s rough edges. If someone could just see her when she was at her best, the way she was in the morning back then, getting ready for the day, dancing and singing, the soft dander of her cheek. The way her neck looked when she tilted it back in the car and sang ‘Great American Cowboy’, along with the Sons of the San Joaquin. I didn’t know what to say to fix it, to make her eyes go clear, to make her steps sure and straight, her breath her own without the bite of alcohol on it”.

“It hurts”.
“Get used to it, she said. Women have a long history of suffering”.

“Her mother was the design of sin: to be the most attractive thing in the room”.

“Vern separated the girls by blood. Girls who had it and were under the marrying age of eighteen were ready for the true mission, and were set apart”.

Lacey May’s desperation and desire for guidance - lead her towards temptation > Pastor Vern.....a cult leader.
Vern promised her, and other young girls salvation, love, and even rain, through secret assignments.

Then...the unthinkable happened : Lacey May’s mother, Louise, ran off with a man....abandoning her daughter.
Lacey - motherless - moves in with her widowed Grandmother, Cherry. ( not exactly a ‘cherry’ supported role model either)....

Grandma Cherry said to Lacey: “A girl Can be fine without a mother”. But Lacey’s body told her that wasn’t true.
Lacey missed her mother desperately.

“My mother had said being pregnant was like an alien takeover. She hated it. The way I had stretched and rolled inside her. She said she imagined snakes fighting in there, and that sometimes all she could do was sleep to keep herself from thinking too hard about it. The fact that soon someone would need need need her. She said the thought of a baby repulsed her, all the crying in the night, all the foolish wanting”.
“But was being needed a bad thing? My disease of loneliness wondered if a baby might just be the cure. For I could not yet fathom all this baby would mean to me, but one thing was now certain: I was no longer alone, and never would be again “.

“Would I be able to mother myself now? Would I no longer need her if I ‘was’ her?”

“At church Vern wore a robe of pewter. There was a
somberness about him, a heft in his usually perked shoulders. But his hair had been freshly curled, the ringlets cinched up closer to his collarbones than usual, and the spray holding them was flecked with glitter”.
“Meekness is valued, ladies, I understand your hesitance, and that’s good, actually, because you won’t be telling anyone about this for a while. For now this is a secret between you and God and your pastor. Think of it as a precious flower pressed in the middle of your Bible, dying.
You wouldn’t want to take it out too soon”.
“A secret. He’d had a secret with my mother, too”.

“In the coming months your bodies will bloom forward and there will be a time of celebration. Be filled with gratitude, ladies. You’ve been Godshot”.

Lacey May wanted to be recognized for her faith. She was obedient. And she wanted to be obedient— but she wondered why God wanted all the girls pregnant?

“Children unite the body”.
Children ensure another generation of soldiers. Parentless children who are tended to and cared for by everyone, who belong to the church itself, are the most useful gems”.

“A boyfriend was trash, however attractive, that would one day have to be taken out. And in the eyes of God a marriage meant a cemented union that no one could come in between. A marriage to a man would take me out of my marriage to the church”.
“A marriage was what I needed”.

“I would not be Godshot. The child would just be a common shame, the result of a sin with an infidel, a couple who were on uncareful but who were doing their best to make things right”.

Resentments, and all that Lacey’s mother had deprived her of, were thoughts that shifted to simply missing her.

Lacey knew that God was bigger than her own understanding, and the thought was a sudden comfort.
If after all her believing years still meant that she didn’t understand God, then that meant there was a life outside of her own, and that there were other things she still didn’t understand, but could come to know if she wanted.
She let the possibility of the world slowly unfurl before her.

“The loneliness of a monster can only become sentimental after it is dead”.

This was such an addictive read - a harrowing look at religion, sexuality, fragility, — and most the vulnerability of women coming of age.
Lacey May was a young girl I rooted for - her observations were judicious - but also understandably conflicted.
It’s not easy to learn about life, love, faith, acceptance, and forgiveness ....and how we each come to strengthen our own beliefs - even in the best of functional loving families - but to have to grow up with such devilishly absurdity as she did....was strange beyond strange...heartbreaking....and repressive.

This book was startling engrossing - suspenseful- conscience-ridden - filled with sublimity and sin.....with a powerful ending that left me tearful but hopeful.

Thank You Netgalley, Catapult Publishing, and Chelsea Bieker ( congrats to Chelsea)....This debut novel should make her an overnight readers-household name.

This young woman's coming-of-age story inside a cult is set in the horrific arid desert near Fresno, California. Baptisms in soda pop, green-painted lawns, unwashed bodies and clothing, and the juxtaposition between the haves and the have-nots, the believers and the skeptics reveal showcase Bieker's gifts for vivid scene-setting and page-turning plot lines. "Godshot" feels like dystopian fiction. It is all the more powerful because it's not.
#NetGalley, #Godshot

This story of a girl coming of age, while stuck in a dead-end town and being brainwashed by a cult was a WILD ride. Lacey May is an utterly authentic and compelling character, whom I wanted to hug and smack upside the head in equal measure. The same goes for her mother, the town beauty who is the focus of the evil pastor’s designs. Godshot offered up a lot to think about when it comes to the relationship between mothers and daughters, what makes a family, and what it means to forgive.
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I flew through this book wanting to know how things would end up for Lacey May. I find books about cults rather fascinating, even though this was fictitious. One might wonder where the author drew her inspiration, as some of the details were pretty horrific (Lots of trigger warnings - definitely research before reading, or shoot me a DM.) but she grabbed my attention in a visceral way. Bieker certainly nails the inherent misogyny of cults.
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“But my body did exist and was only growing bigger. I would only keep existing more and more, and then when the baby came she too would exist, angering men and boys all on her own. When did this end? I wondered.”
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If you think a sinister, and also weirdly charming story about a young girl in throes of a cult sounds fascinating, for sure grab this singular debut!

#Godshot #chelseabieker #Netgalley #arc #netgalleyreview goodness me. Imagine you're growing up with an alcoholic mother who has many bad boyfriends. But then. She gets saved. And not just saved. Y'all are now in a cult. The leader, Vern, he's a good man. A man who has brought rain. But .... Things change. Momma changes. Your job for the church. It's a fantastic journey to take with the characters. You'll laugh. Be appalled. And wonder how people can become so enraptured with a human. #cherry #holydiviners #religion #vern #bookstagram #bookreader #booksofinstagram #bookreview #booknerdigans

I've had this one on my shelf for quite some time and finally picked it up - I literally don't have words. It's a crazy story that's just crazy enough to feel real in a world that has real life Westboro Baptist members so, there's that comparison for ya.

I felt like this book was a little forced. I didn't feel like any of the characters really seemed like real people.

The pretty cover and unique title drew me in. There's more to this than a pretty front. I was deep in the story within a few pages. A great debut.

A beautiful debut , the prose was gorgeous and vivid. Amazing story about mothers and daughters, love , friendship , womanhood and finding yourself

Thanks to Netgalley for the arc in exchange for a review.

This was a unique story of a bit of a religious cult in a fictitious California town called Peaches. Lacey is a teenager who gets left by her mom and ends up living with her grandma. They all are part of the religious cult led by Pastor Vern.

I don’t want to spoil anything but I think this was a compelling story that really spoke to how women are viewed and treated sometimes in society.

3.5 stars

This is not the first time recently that I came around to liking a book by the time I finished it. Godshot takes place in Peaches, California. There is a terrible drought in Peaches, and many of its residents are in the grip of a cult led by Vern, who promises that the drought will end if the members of the cult do their bidding. His idea of what the members should do is pretty outlandish and brutal. Lacey May is 14 years old, and it seems that nothing good has ever happened to her. Her mother is an alcoholic who has had a series of bad boyfriends. The cult was meant to be Lacey May and her mother's salvation, but it doesn't do much to improve Lacey May's life. Lacey May starts off as a believer but her eyes gradually open to what is really happening in her community. There's a surreal and dark tone to Godshot. It's not quite clear when the story takes place and all of the characters and events are pushed to the extreme. For much of the novel, I liked the idea more than I enjoyed the story. But the end was very strong and I found myself much more emotionally engaged in the last few chapters as I rooted for Lacey May. Thank you to Netgalley, Edelweiss and the publisher for an opportunity to read an advance copy.

Holy f&$king bloody hell!
“Get used to it,” she said. “Women have a long history of suffering.”
I’ve never read any Flannery O’Connor books. It is said that Godshot is Bieker’s California twist to O’Connor’s southern short stories, and after reading this I can totally see the crazy ass “southerness” of it all.
I could not put this book down. From the very beginning I was completely pulled into the story!
I must say that I get very anxious when it comes to trauma so my heart broke many many times for Lacey and there are a lot of stressful moments in this book. At one point I had to go back and read the excerpt just to make sure this was fiction, and thank goodness it was!
So many hurt women in this story- Lacey, her mother, her grandmother, the bible school
Girls...none of them were safe from the crazy shit that went down in Peaches, California after the drought.
In my head this story feels like one from the 80’s maybe early 90’s. It was hard to age because of the backward thinking of most of the characters but there were references to it being around the time of Dre and Snoop’s California. Anytime there are religious zealots in a story you can count on there being plenty of abuse to go around for all of the women and children characters and this story was FULL of victims. And what made me the most angry is that not one soul in the church was wise enough to see Pastor Vern for the crackhead that he was.

Thanks to Catapult and Netgalley for the ARC of this recently published novel. I had the ARC for quite a while before starting it. Reading the synopsis, I could not decide if it was my type of book or not. It sounded more like not. Eventually I decided to try and once I did, I had to keep reading. Others have adequately described the premise but ultimately it’s a tale of mothers and daughters and growing up in a secluded, depressed and oppressive environment in which women have no agency. The ending is hopeful, and your hope is that the main character Lacey May will make different choices and have a different relationship with her daughter. I will recommend this book to friends.

Godshot is a ripped from the headlines glimpse into a religious cult. I was pulled in from the first page of this story of Lacey May, a young girl trapped in the grip of a cult. Chelsea Bieker’s debut is dark, gritty and hard to put down. I look forward to her next novel!

A true masterpiece. I couldn't believe this book was a debut novel. The quality of the writing was so beautiful and complex. The story is harrowing to say the least. I started reading it early in the morning and could not stop turning the pages until I reached the end. An unforgettable novel that people are going to love.

Here is a story of a mother -daughter relationship that pushes you the reader to the edge. It is Fundamentalist fanatic religion full stop. Is the reason Lacey May clung desperately to it’s precepts simply to find something normal and whole in her life. A life in a hard scrabble town in the midst of a drought so complete ,water from the faucet is brown and metallic. Into this space a flim flan man turns The Body, his parishioners into blind faith followers. He hatched a master plan that involves the minor females in town in a massive pregnancy pact to bring water down from the sky. Macey struggles to do the right thing as she reasons it to be. She clings to all of Vern’s preachings until fate and her forced pregnancy opens her eyes to a life beyond the town limits. Happy reading