I have received an e-ARC of this book from netgalley.

Brief memoir/aging and preparing for death manual. This author has led an amazing life from studying wildlife and tribal people in remote regions of the world to adopting a houseful of cats and dogs. She talks about different subjects such as what to consider in retirement communities, options for body disposal post-death and how others' deaths affect you. She sounds like quite a character.

I'm sorry but I couldn't get past a few chapters of this book. I tried, I really did, I wanted to like it, since I'm past middle-age and thought I might relate to it and find something uplifting about life. But instead it was written in a really awful style that was way too mediocre and conversational, and was too much about death ... it was totally depressing.

No matter our age, we all hope to grow old, and indeed we are growing older day by day. A bestselling author of books that examine the natural world, this time Elizabeth Thomas turns the observations on herself. In a warm, wry, positive and unassuming way, Ms. Thomas looks at what it’s like to be old. Get ready to be delighted, informed and either relieved or worried, depending on your own stage of life.

This is a memoir and Ms. Thomas shares bits from her past, and scenes from her current life. Like most of us, she misplaces her keys, her glasses, and once even misplaced her parked car. (Her loyal dog was able to find it). She explains why we forget names and why we fear death. She is a kind person who puts out water for the mice that live in her walls.

Apparently, the author and I do not agree on politics, but we do seem to be kindred spirits in many other ways. I, too, round up my age before I get to my birthday so I can get used to the new and greater number. While I don’t need hearing aids yet, I thought her advice and recommendations about them were spot on. And I am going to borrow from the document she wrote to her family in which she explains what she wants for her final days and funeral. (I wish she had included her recipe for the deviled eggs.)

Ms. Thomas is a part of the Greatest Generation and she ends her book by reflecting on the events of her life and concludes that she lived during a positive and optimistic time, better than current times. She mentions the Depression and World War II, but left out segregation, the assassination of Pres. Kennedy and 9/11. Every generation has its high and low points.

I enjoyed every page of this book and I’m ready to go gentle into that good night. Thanks to NetGalley, HarperCollins Publishers and HarperOne for an advance digital review copy. This is my honest review. (Sorry if I messed up with the commas.)

Poorly written, rambling and totally uninteresting. I can usually plow through anything, but this was so bad and so boring I couldn't finish this book.

Somewhere around five years ago I was prompted to read Elizabeth Marshall Thomas’ The Hidden Life of Deer after reading Will Byrnes’ excellent review of the same. Since then I’ve ventured more often into non-fiction than in prior years, and although I still read more fiction than non-fiction, I’ve discovered authors, like Thomas, who manage to bring these books to life. In fact, while I was reading The Hidden Life of Deer, invariably a deer would manage to wander through my back yard as though summoned by the power of my reading her book. And although no octogenarians wandered through my yard while reading this, her words will wander through me for some time, reminding me of the blessings, perspectives and wisdom that come with time.

”The aging process is an essential part of the human story, and it’s not for the faint-hearted. It’s as strange as it is captivating – a venture to the unknown.”

”As we age, we experience changes, and perhaps the most dramatic is in our sense of time. When we were young, time crawled along slowly, but as we start aging, it flies.

Covering a range of topics, she discusses everything from how, as a child, she tended to view old age as ”a rare condition I didn’t need to think about,” but that as she has gathered years of living, she views it as something that ”one slides into it quietly,” to how strange it now seems to her to no longer be seen, as though the years are slowly causing her to disappear from view, the sight of her no longer seems to register with those walking toward her. The memories she has of learning of the first time a family member died, and although she had never met her, she burst into tears, so strong that she can visualize it all.

Death leaves an indelible mark on us, more so if it is the death of someone we loved, but even the thought of death, or being confronted with the death of someone we barely knew, or knew of, it’s the entrance of that word that creates that sense of discomfort. No one likes to think about death, even if they don’t fear it, even if it doesn’t involve someone they knew. Most people can’t even really conceive of the realities of growing old, let alone death, even though it is inevitable. And, let’s be honest, only the very young can’t wait to be older.

”The aging process is an essential part of the human story, and it’s not for the faint-hearted. It’s as strange as it is captivating—a venture to the unknown.”

While this covers a broad range of the things one normally associates with aging, and death, this is far from gloomy. There are lighter moments, and insightful glimpses that occasionally include some dark humour, especially as it relates to the pitfalls and physical changes that come with aging. “Losing” keys, glasses, etc. only to find them in some random spot later on – of course, only after purchasing a replacement. Coming to terms with the physical aspects of aging, the slowing down, facing the fact that those things you could once do easily are no longer easy, and sometimes impossible. And, of course, there is some advice on preparing for the inevitable, for, as she says, “death is the price we pay for life.”


Pub Date: 28 April 2020

Many thanks for the ARC provided by HarperCollins Publishers / HarperOne

Having just just turned 50 years old and faced with the declining health of my parents, this book couldn’t have come along at a more perfect time in my own life. This eloquent and insightful book is a realistic view on the challenges and unforeseen joys of aging. On one level, “Growing Old” is a practical manual and, on another level, it’s a beautifully written reflection on the author’s life. It is not a depressing book nor is it overly sentimental. The author tells it how she sees it. And, I for one, loves how she sees it. I am so grateful for having the good fortune to stumble across and read this book.

This vivid, highly readable account of what it is like to be 87, interlaced with reflections on the author's fascinating earlier work as an anthropologist in Africa, compels readers to assess how they will face old age. Interlaced with dry wit, and with a keen, empathetic appreciation of both human and animal feelings, this book is for everyone.

As pointed out by the author, within our culture we tend to avoid discussions of growing old because the endgame is death. Yet, growing old is unavoidable, as is death. What Ms. Thomas provides in her own inimical way, combining research, statistics, as well as her own history-being 88 gives her much to bring to the table- is that growing is what everyone is destined to experience, and as such should be talked about, accepted, and recognized as a normal part of life. It is to our mutual benefit to understand what being old is, how it affects us, how it affects those around us, and that it is important to face it straight on rather than hoping it will somehow not affect us.
She doesn't shy away from topics like incontinence, memory loss, physical decline, the need for elder care when the time comes, and the loss of the people with whom you grew, loved, and lived. Her wry humor and matter-of-fact writing bring a welcome conversational quality to the book where her talk of the maladies, and joys-yes, there are joys to growing old, are interspersed with memories of her life and experiences.
I think anyone from the age of 50 and on, should read this book if for no other reason that this process is normal, common, and one we will all experience.

I finished this book several days ago and have been struggling with my review. I always do with ARCs. For some reason I expected this to be science-based book and not the loosely anecdotal memoir that it is. I think I had that idea from a fleeting misconception of the author's prior works, none of which I have read.
Once I settled into my mistake I was interested in the author's observations which I found amusing at times and odd at others. Up to the beginning third of the book I'm taking mental notes on what growing old portends, trying not to catalog as much apprehension as I feel, when the author drops a bombshell. At 87 years old the author admits to being a smoker (from the numbers she provides, a pack a day) for the many past decades. That alone was enough to negate her observations.
Another complaint I have and I have encountered it more than I'd like. Please, authors, stop putting your political opinions in books that have nothing to do with politics. It's flat out annoying and distracting.
As far as books on aging goes I think there are better ones out there.

Thank you to HarperCollins and NetGalley for providing me with an advance copy of this book.

This book contains the thoughts and ruminations of an 88 year old author who describes what it is like to have lived almost nine decades and what there is to look forward to. As I am approaching 79 I am thoroughly enjoying this book. The life we have lived, the decisions we must now make and think about are all relevant.

Before going any further I’ll state that I did receive an ARC ebook version of Elizabeth Marshall Thomas’ “Growing Old, Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace.” I have not been paid for my review, however, and the opinions are mine.

At first I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book but the premise seemed timely as we Boomers age into retirement. The author’s style is easy, relaxed. As I got into the text I felt as if I were having a conversation with a friend over tea.

Thomas writes of her experiences as a retired person, the challenges she faces; that we all might one day face. She rightly points out that most books or articles about human aging are written by doctors. This, instead is written by an aging person.

She describes how invisible senior persons are in our society and how to cope. And she discusses practical things that must be faced in old age, such as, electronics. She even mentions the difficulty of owning a pet at a senior age because that pet may be the closest “person” in your life. She also points out that many times the death of a pet is harder to face than the death of a human because your pet is with you day in and day out whereas the humans in your life may be gone for long stretches of time.

I read another book Thomas co-authored with Sy Montgomery called “Tamed and Untamed.” In that book she also discussed practical concerns as a pet owner. She also used a more relaxed writing style in it. I’ve come to appreciate her style.

“Growing Old” is a book I’d recommend to anyone over 50 who wants to know what is coming in their future and how to face it.

Because I had brief experience in a newsroom (three years), Chapters 11 and 15 struck me as needing work. My first impression of 11 (on senior living centers) was that it read as a first draft. It needs a couple more drafts and specifics on various senior living options. It needs sources and foot/endnotes such as non-profits or other data references to lend credence to the chapter. Similar for 15, regarding end of life (funeral homes and such).

Otherwise, Ms Thomas' take on Growing Old started out as a sort of stream of consciousness meandering from topic to topic. Perhaps because I could relate (I'm "only" 65) to some of it, I found it interesting.

The author's reflections on her life were indeed interesting, including her intriguing adventures in Africa and her anecdotes with family.

If chapters 11 and 15 are reworked before publication, I'd definitely recommend Growing Old with four stars. If either of those chapters are left as is, I'd barely give it three stars.

I'm thankful for having learned about Elizabeth Marshall Thomas' intellectually robust and adventurous life.

I'm reluctant to share this on social media, including Goodreads, without having some idea about how chapters 11 and 15 will be reworked. I wouldn't want to put something out there that might not promote others interest in the book.

Since I am not quite as old as the author, I did find her descriptions of aging relative. I don't agree with some of her pronouncements but they are provocative. Her scientific musings are very interesting and she often turns a wry eye to aging itself. She makes a point that a lot of books about aging are not written by the aged.

Seems to be more of musings on getting old by an experienced scientific writer. Some of the stories were interesting and relatable to us all as we age and not a lot of real advice of doing so gracefully as projected in the blurb. I try to keep an open mind but I was a little disturbed by her agnostic/atheist/purely scientific viewpoint as I do have a belief in a Supreme being, regardless of what he/she/it may be. Religion in itself is NOT the goal, but a personal relationship with the Supreme being and the desire to be more Christlike in our day to day interactions.
I hope the author will consider a read Lee Strobel books. Mr. Strobel was like her and then changed his views by learning the precision of many things in this world that cannot be left to chance of molecules floating together. We are much more than that. After she made it clear she was atheist/agnostic, I seriously lost interest in the book.
I received this book as a complimentary copy for an unbiased review. The opinions expressed are my own.

Elizabeth Marshall Thomas has lived an extraordinary life. She has been a bestselling author of books about animal behavior and other cultures based upon her decades of personal observations and experiences from around the world. She has, in fact, been places and done things that the rest of us can only dream about. Thomas, though, is eighty-eight years old and that kind of adventure is forever behind her. These days, the author spends much of her time observing the human aging process in herself and those around her and figuring out how to make the best of the years she has left. Now, with Growing Old: Notes on Aging with Something Like Grace, she shares her observations and thoughts with the rest of us.

Perhaps because Thomas is only seventeen years older than me, and that I’ve been caring for my 97-year-old father for a decade now, relatively little of what she has to say here really surprises me. I suspect, though, that readers in their fourth and fifth decades will have an entirely different reaction to reading Growing Old. Too, those hoping to find religiously-based reasons for not fearing aging and death should note that they are not going to find them here. According to Thomas, “…by the time I was in my teens, I’d decided that if God does unacceptable things, he’s not like an employer whose job you can quit or a public official you can vote against. All you can do about a cruel invisible tyrant is to believe he doesn’t exist.” She goes on to say, “So I decided there wasn’t a hell, and death seemed a little less horrible.”

Growing Old includes chapters on how quickly time seems to pass for elderly people; on reasons not to fear death; on how deteriorating eyesight can directly lead to hearing loss and dementia; on the “cultural problems” associated with old age; on how too many doctors really feel about the elderly; and on how having friends will keep you alive, among other topics. And then there are the practical chapters covering topics such as senior living communities, medications, funeral homes and cemeteries, and the like. All of this will be invaluable information for those who are themselves approaching old age or whose parents are already there.

But there are also takeaways for near-contemporaries of the author, cheerful little pep talks like the following paragraph:
“Thus life while aging can be wonderful. It’s just wonderful in a different way than it was when you were young. For instance, you’re smarter than the younger people, but not because your brain functions better. Your brain was at its peak when you were thirty, and now that you’re old, you forget people’s names and lose things. But you understand the world around you more deeply and clearly. You excel at interpreting your surroundings because of all you’ve learned.”

And, finally, there’s this thought:
“Not only can you adjust to aging; you can sometimes do the things you did when you were young. You just do them with a little more equipment and in different ways, which seems easy enough, especially if age has made you smarter and more thoughtful.”

Bottom Line: Sometimes deadly serious, sometimes funny, Growing Old is part memoir, part handbook on the whole aging process. While it does not break much new ground, it does offer useful insights into growing old for the uninitiated. It could be especially useful, I think, for those trying to deal with and understand their elderly parents. Next up for Thomas is a book on commas, how to use them correctly and why she loves them so much. I can’t wait. (Seriously.)

I read Growing Old looking for some wisdom because I will soon turn 58. How delightfully the 87 year old Thomas writes about the subject of growing old. Thomas' voice is that of sage, neighbor, mother, and teacher. I immediately responded to her wisdom and wit, her honesty and her frailty. I learned that I need to savor these days of my youth. Thomas reflects on changing relationships, diminishing physical and mental capabilities, and decreasing visibility in a society so focused on youth. But this book is not about defeat. Thomas has had an amazing life filled with adventure and strong family. She writes of many topics close to her heart: her childhood African experiences, her life with her animals on her New Hampshire farm , and her new appreciation of the comma. The magnamity of aging and death is wrapped in the warmth of a woman who is able to convey the wisdom that comes with finding the truth of the elderly: there is growth in becoming old. Like a mother, a friend, and a good neighbor, Thomas lets us know it's all going to be OK. Growing Old is a window into how our final years can be lived with grace. Thomas doesn't sugarcoat the challenges. She reminds us of the privilege.

Growing Old is the first work I've read from Elizabeth Marshall Thomas. I felt as though I was sitting with her as she shared fascinating anecdotes from her nearly-90 years. There were moments when I, at 50, felt sad about the years of aging ahead, but I often also laughed while feeling sad so that's a good sign of something. I'd very much like to read more on this topic from Thomas. Perhaps she'll deliver a part 2 and title it Growing Older.

We need more personal stories about aging. Well, I need them. I especially appreciate the general discussion of death and the many resources to be investigated. My biggest fear as an introverted (aka contentedly non-social) single woman, aging many states away from my only child, is not knowing all of the things I need to know so as not to one day burden my child. I wish more women spoke about these practical matters, and with the humor and care that Thomas does. Maybe I will one day start these conversations with others after I've grown more old. Or maybe I'll only need to share this book.

So very true - and a little scary. If only I can be as "smart" an elder as Thoas is. I am also adding Thomas' other books to my list.

A very enjoyable memoir of growing old.Funny witty wise observations on what aging is really like.I enjoyed this book the authors observations thoughts.A book that gave me food for thought a pleasure to spend time with this aging as we all are author.#netgalley#harpercollins

Funny and true, this is a book for young, old, and in-between. Old age isn't funny most of the time. I know because I'm getting there quickly. And Ms. Thomas doesn't spread any illusions about "The Golden Years." But if you don't get too riled up about losing your car keys (daily if "they" are still letting you drive), seeing your friends die (monthly if you still have some), and watching your lab numbers go the wrong direction (annually because you refuse to have the tests more often); and if you have a cat or dog or two or three or five to keep you company, the last part of life can be worth the trouble. So if you're old - read this book and know you're not alone; if you're not, read it so you understand those who are and can be prepared to get there - if you're lucky.