An important topic that is often full of shame and embarrassment, we truly need more resources on the topic with bold covers and clear titles. I appreciated this book.

This was an enjoyable read and I would recommend it. thanks for letting me have an advance copy. I'm new to this author.

I really loved this book. It’s all about self care an nurturing yourself so you can nurture others. It was an extremely refreshing read and I think it should be essential.

2 out of 5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

I was very exciting to see a book focusing of the joys of embracing being sexual and is something that is not focused on. Also seeing it categorised as LGBTQIA+ that made me more exciting being a part of this myself.

Unfortunately there were multiple things that didn’t sit well with me. Again going back to where this book was categorised and the author saying she is bisexual. Incorrectly identifying a large group of this community and not including them at all is wrong.

Some things were implied in this book that should not of been promoted or included especially coming from a doctor. (Mainly non conventional pain treatment)

I think this book completely missed the mark and perhaps wasn’t meant to be conveyed the way it did.

I don’t believe the author meant anything negative however it did not read well at all.

Such a shame

While I could see a great attempt at inclusivity throughout the book, there were a lot of viewpoints unheard from or dismissed. I found myself skimming towards the end because the writing just wasn't grabbing me and the tone used was just off-putting.

As a thank you to Netgalley and the publisher (Watkins Publishing) for providing me with an advanced reader copy I shall give an honest review of Sex-Positive: Redefining our Attitudes to Love and Sex by Dr. Kelly Neff. Okay so coming into this book I had some ideas as to how the information would be presented given it was only nine chapters long. WOW was I surprised in the best way possible. In her experience as a social psychologist, author, professor, talk-show personality Dr. Neff brings forward prominent issues today regarding human sexuality and its psychology. Dr. Neff’s style is straight forward and focuses on the personal as well as the political. She is very thorough and introduces concepts learned in a four-month Human sexuality class in a few sentences. If the reader would like any more information on that topic Dr. Neff referred them to a long list of recommended reading and websites. I learned a lot and enjoyed the way Dr. Neff’s writing style approached clinical terms and the personal anecdotes included. It is a book I would recommend to others and would purchase for my own collection of human sexuality and gender texts. Overall I give this book four out of five stars on good reads.

Thank you to NetGalley and Watkins Publishing for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.

DNFed at 26%.
I thought this would actually redefine some attitudes about sex, and I was happy that it was written by a psychologist. Instead, I’m putting this book down confused about who the audience is and how she was able to get so many things wrong in just the first two chapters. I was wary of this book from her introduction, which suggested that she had caused her own uterine masses because she repressed her sexual energy and had internalized guilt and shame about her sexuality. She explains how her life shifted away from conventional science and she started to focus on energy, frequency, and vibrations.

My biggest problems were with the way she addresses gender and sexuality. She is trying to show inclusivity for trans people, but instead separates them from men and women, with thoughts structured like: “some women are ____. So are men. So are trans people.” This “others” trans individuals, when she could have been more effective by just including a line at the beginning clarifying what she means when she says men or women, as many other authors do. Neff also gets a variety of facts wrong: cisgender males are not all “chromosomal males,” as most people have not had a karyotype and we cannot just equate external genitalia and chromosomes. Allies are not the A in LGBTQIA+. And so on.

I’m frustrated because the marketing suggests that this book is aiming to educate and help millennials rewrite their narratives about love, but she is not even presenting correct information. And the material that she does get right seemed quite basic for her target audience (definitions of things like consent and toxic masculinity), though this might improve in later chapters.

A hard DNF from me. A shame as I typically want to follow through completely with my Netgalley reads (thank you as always to Netgalley for the opportunity!) but I just couldn't stomach the false ideals this book perpetuates. Like many people, I had problems from the first chapter, including the segregation of transgender people from other 'men and women' as well as contradicting views on certain gender-related terms. From what I did read this book misses the mark completely which is a shame as sex positivity (and sex in general) is definitely somewhat of a taboo topic that needs to be addressed, but that doesn't mean it should be addressed incorrectly. Sorry to put this down.

Thanks to Netgalley and Watkins Publishing for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review. I will admit that I requested this arc as it was being promoted under the LGBT+ tag and I was curious to read what it would say and hope to learn more and be able to recommend it to others.

As the title suggests, 'Sex Positive' is a book that is supposed to explore and redefine our attitudes towards Love and Sex. Unfortunately, I had mixed feelings when reading this book.

On top of discussing positive sexuality, this book provided simplified information and details on gender fluidity/gender nonbinary, gender dysphoria and the use of pronouns in everyday life in one of its chapters. Although I appreciated the information that the author wanted to share, most of the topics relating to the LGBT+ community felt too research-based but not of the genuine kind, more the 'bad research which showed the author's ignorance of the topic' kind.

This book does say that it examines LGBT+ issues however I would be hesitant to recommend this book to anyone I know who may be interested in reading it. There are other books and author out there who have more experience with LGBT+ issues and can better inform people from the community and allies wanting to learn more regarding sexual positivity when in the LGBT+ community.

The author also suggests that the 'A' in 'LGBTQIA' is for 'Ally' which is misinforming and ignorant towards people who are asexual/aromantic/agender...etc. To further show her ignorance, the term 'asexual' or others near it were not at all mentioned in the book, making them seem irrelevant. In a book where the author is trying to promote positive sexuality, you would think they would offer some information into this spectrum for those who refer to themselves as asexual, demisexual...etc

This book will not be for everyone. There were times that the personal experiences shared by the author did not seem needed or gave out a wrong message to which I felt uncomfortable reading. Although some of the topics written were interesting such as the technical growth of sex and spirituality regarding sexuality, for a book published in 2020, much more research could have been done, especially within the grey areas of sexuality.

I did not finish this book. Although the premise seemed right up my alley, it was clear a few chapters in that this was not as comprehensive or as thorough a book as I had expected. What is provided is a very basic introduction to sexual positivity as the author understands it, but it isn't necessarily how I'd define or explain it. The tone is conversational, the science shoddy, and while the author attempts to be inclusive, there are several problematic instances of erasure or incorrect information. Just within the first couple of chapters, the author suggests that her uterine growths were caused by repressed sexual feelings. She also appears to believe (or weirdly jokes) that if people stopped circumcising boys without their consent, they would be more likely to grow up to be adults who respect consent. She also shares her personal health history, which includes an ER doctor administering a placebo when she seeks treatment, and yet that doesn't seem to trouble her at all. Instead, she uses that as an example of the strength of her mind over her body. That's her prerogative, but I think it would have been worthwhile to address that that was unethical! All of these small things added up to a big no for me, and I would not recommend this book when there are others who do the job better.

I feel quite mixed about this book, it started well with the opening outlining how we need to be more positive around sex and move away from the damaging ideas, great I thought this sounds really good. Then there was a little too much personal sharing, there is sharing that can be helpful and there is sharing that feels like too much information, this was in the latter camp unfortunately. I would have also liked some more critical feminist analysis that it wasn't ok that her symptoms were ignored for so long until she had o have radical surgery that nearly killed her. Her treatment or lack thereof shows how women are not taken seriously especially around menstrual health but she misses the opportunity to explore this further.
The book then explores different headings again some work better than others the chapter on sex and spirituality was clearly written from secure knowledge and experience base, as was the chapter on sex after sexual trauma which contained some helpful exercises. The chapter on the technological advances in sex was interesting and thought provoking. However, the the chapter on LGBTIA issues read like a collection of bad internet searches and only highlighted the authors ignorance especially around gender issues and that is just not acceptable in a book being published in 2020.
Overall this makes me cautious about recommending this book to be widely read particularly if you were looking to understand how to be more sex positive because if you were Trans or LGBTQIA you could feel that sex positivity wasn't available to you, which is a huge shame and a missed opportunity.

ARC provided by NetGalley.

I have to admit I was not expecting to dislike this book as much as I did. Though there are some interesting and positive (ha) aspects of this book, I think the bad far outweighs the good. Some of these issues are things that I would definitely forgive of the general public and attempt to educate for the future. But this book is written by an "expert" and there are some things I just shouldn't have to tell someone with a PhD and extensive knowledge of sex, gender, and relationships.

I highlighted some passages throughout and I'm going to briefly cover some of the major problems I had while reading.

First, in the introduction of the book, we have the line "The best sex, and the only sex in which we ought to participate as sex positive people, is consensual sex." There is no such thing as non-consensual sex - it's just rape.

The author implies that her own history of repressing her sexuality and internalizing sexual shame resulted in the physical manifestation of hundreds of uteran tumors and an eventual emergency hysterectomy.

Several times throughout the book, the author used the phrase "men, women, and transgender people" which of course implies that trans men and trans women are not actually men or women. I think pretty much every trans person and trans ally will tell you differently. What the author likely meant is men, women, and nonbinary people, but this an odd mistake to make several times in a book with a pretty significant focus on gender.

This line "sexism is gender blind because it can happen to men and to transgender people, too" has the same transgender separation problem, and the author doesn't touch on the difference between the systemic problem of sexism that women face vs the instances of sexism that men face.

AND ALL THIS BEFORE WE EVEN HIT CHAPTER TWO. It turns out I have a LOT of highlights so I'm just going to list a few of the big ones from the rest of the book.

Chapter two is all about gender, in which the author attempts to tell us about how the world is breaking down gender stereotypes and people are self identifying as a gender other than man or woman, while at the same time constantly conflating masculine with man and feminine with woman, and using stereotypes to explain gender ID. It's baffling.

The author perpetuates the bisexual = transphobic and pansexual = biphobic talking points that we've all heard and hate.

She uses female and woman, and male and man interchangeably, which is pretty trans exclusionary.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF: "Allies put the 'A' in LGBTQIA+." NO. NO THEY DO NOT. The 'A' in LGBTQIA+ stands for Asexual. I would also accept Agender, or Aromantic. As much as I love allies, they are not part of the queer community.

This bit made me curious, so I did a quick search - the term "asexual" is not mentioned in this book at all. I don't understand how one could write a book about sex positivity and changing sexual culture and not mention asexuality, graysexuality, or demisexuality. It's an oversight I can't get past.

And that's it... for chapter two! And this book goes on for 7 more chapters! Obviously I can't cover all of my thoughts in this review, but I do not recommend it.

Books that speak about sex and identity openly are much needed in today’s society. I feel like this book missed its mark a bit however. Some of the books speaks to the authors own struggles with self identity and then the other parts talk about various topics related to sex positivity and inclusivity.
Multiple times throughout this book I felt as though I was reading the dictionary. I love a good definition and for some of the topics I think a good definition helps speak to the topic being discussed, but sometimes it was just a bit much. Just like the over use of exclamation points.
While I had some issues with this book, I would still recommend it as a resource for those curious about being more open minded and positive about other self identities and sexual related topics.

Thank you to Watkins Publishing as I received an advanced reader copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This books felt a bit like 2 books squished into one. There was a book on the authors personal experiences and beliefs around spirituality and holistic techniques and a book around the science of sexuality.
The tag line reads "redefining our attitudes to love and sex" but it read more like a sum up the authors personal journey and opinions around sex and relationships.
I feel this book would have benefited from some interviews with more diverse voices rather than just the authors opinion.
She generalised the millennial experience and as a millennial who doesn't fit in with alot of her assumptions I found this a little grating.
This book could be a very good place to start as it is very clear and accessible. The author did a good job of explaining terms to the reader.

* I received a free ebook copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review*

Well... you tried.

This book aims to be a very progressive, forward-thinking book about sex and gender, and in concept, it is. But there are... a lot of problems. First and foremost, some of the science in here is just bad. Shamefully bad, especially for someone who has a degree (at least tangentially) in matters of sex and gender. Neff first purports that Reiki helped her when her uterine cysts were painful. That's whatever; maybe it did, maybe it didn't, but I'm not sure this book is the place for it.

But then she goes on to at least speculate that her own repressed sexual energy was the cause of her illness, that "mind over matter" was responsible for her needing an emergency hysterectomy and I'm sorry. I just can't.

And that's just in the first few pages.

As we go on, Neff makes glib comments like the modifiers "masculine" and "feminine" not even having any meaning anymore and as a GNC person who has very masc and very femme days, I can say for a fact that those words absolutely still have meaning. She also, in a very good paragraph about schools not teaching kids important things about their bodies like nonbinary gender identies and moreover sex education, comes out with the parenthetical, "Who really needs to learn calculus, anyway?"

I'm trying hard to find words to use that aren't the sound of my head smashing off of the keys of my laptop.

Furthermore, and topically, Neff continues to use phrases like, "...men, women, and trans people." Okay. Shut the front door. Trans men are men, trans women are women. I think what she was going for was "men, woman, and nonbinary (or genderqueer or whatever) people," but her repeated use of this makes me think that she honestly doesn't get it. She also repeatedly uses the word "transgendered," and goes on to define things like "transgender*" and "transsexual," both of which are mostly no longer used (though to be fair, she does admit this in the case of transsexual), and uses the phrase "sex reassignment surgery" to talk about gender affirming procedures.

I'm sure Kelly Neff has a good heart. I'm sure she means well. But I'm left with the resounding impression that she's a ciswoman who has no real idea what she's talking about, or at the very least, didn't consult a single trans or GNC person in the writing or editing of this book. Protip: if you want to write a book like this, regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity, hire a sensitivity reader who doesn't share those traits with you, or else you'll end up writing a book like this: well-intentioned, but you know what they say about the road to hell.

I RECEIVED AN ARC COPY OF THIS BOOK FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY AND VOLUNTARILY LEAVING MY REVIEW.

I FOUND THIS TO BE EXTREMELY INTERESTING. HAVE NEVER READ ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW CURSE WORDS AND THE ATHOR ALSO STATES THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE EVERYTHING BUT IT WOULD BE A BORING WORLD IF EVERYONE LIKED THE SAME THINGS.

IT IS WELL WRITTEN AND THE AUTHOR HAS DONE SOME SERIOUS RESEARCH. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND GIVING IT A READ. YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING DIFFERENT BY THE TIME YOU FINISH THE BOOK.

Okay. This book is absolutely amazing. I am so so happy it exists!! Btw, the author occasionally uses swear words or excess punctuation AND I LOVE IT. She's also very respectful of everything she writes about in this book, even if she admits they're not for her (ex : sex [with] robots). If I had a printed copy of this book, I promise you, it would be completely highlighted. Also, trust me when I say that while reading this, I was constantly texting my friends about it, giving them info i knew they could use. I wish I could say ALL THE THINGS you need to hear to pre order this book, but I'll settle for making a list of what stuck with me the most about this book :
• Being Sex Positive = we accept how we all exist as expressions of the wide variation of human behaviour
• Binary system = a construct of society
• TwoSpirits : a third gender, noted by Native Americans many centuries ago. & they held a higher place in their society; they were considered more sacred
• About normality : there is no such thing as "normal" when it comes to sexuality. There is no right or wrong *unless you are causing harm without consent to yourself or to someone else*
• People who don't confirm to binary genders might actually have a genetic mark, as suspected for people who identify as other than heterosexual (EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS)
• Deconstruction of myths regarding transgender people + tips on how to be an ally
• Porn : porn addiction is not real. & according to a study, people who watch the most porn actually have the most active sex lives with their stable partners. It's here to sexually excite you, not teach you about RL (just like I don't expect anything to happen when I wave my wand)
• VR porn and sex robots are more of a thing and might (in a closer than we think future) take over physical sex with people.
• Anxiety : millennials are the most anxious generation ever, which explains why so many go back to more traditional forms of healing. To heal the cause, and not treat the symptoms, like modern medicine does
• We have a deeper energetic connection between mind and body than we realize
• Millennials and Gen-Z have rejected organized religion but are thus very spiritual (I had never thought of this this way. So I realized I AM a spiritual person!)

Seriously I could go on for so much longer. 5⭐