A lovely, honest and poignant collection of thoughts from an unexpected source. From what I've experienced of his previous work, I didn't expect Black to have such eloquence and sincerity present in his writing, but I was pleasantly surprised. He shares various musings here mostly associated with the topic of masculinity, and readers truly get a sense of who Black is as a person through what he shares about his past, career and current life as a parent. I'm glad to have taken a chance on this book and found it to be an incredibly gratifying read.

Michael Ian Black's comedic "persona" is usually an ironic, detached satirist. This book was heartfelt, genuine and surprisingly open. It was an appreciated look behind the curtain, while still certainly being in his voice. Funny and introspective at the same time, this is a great addition for any library's humor or essay section.

This is a hilarious and heartfelt memoir. Neither too serious nor too silly, Michael In Black shares stories of his youth. He imparts life lessons without sounding preachy. I would recommend this book to any young men looking to learn about the world, or just fans of the author.

This was written with such self- awareness, vulnerability, and love, it serves as a compelling letter to all. So well done.

Loved every sentiment within these pages. I loved the original essay that inspired the longer work. It all rings true, albeit often sadly. Well done, would recommend to everyone

I don't think I would have read this if it weren't for it being by Michael Ian Black. (I was a huge The State fan in high school.) But I'm glad I saw this ARC, and while I know it's long since been published, I'm glad I finished reading it. It was a slow read for me, but worth it - MIB had a lot of important things to say. I felt that a few times he didn't follow through on his thoughts, or maybe it was just that he didn't say what I thought he'd say or I didn't follow exactly what he was trying to convey, but regardless, I'm so glad this book is out there for men and boys to see. I think it's worth the read for any father, and any MAN. Thinking back, MIB did feel sort of smug and distanced even in his State characters, so it was fascinating to see his recognition of that period of his life and then his growth out of it. I think many men could use this sort of self-reflection.

(Of course, it wouldn't be Michael Ian Black without some jokes thrown in the mix, too, and he definitely made me laugh several times.)

I do wonder whether he'll write another for his daughter when she leaves for college. (I'd definitely read it!)

This book is amazing and everything I want for my 19 year old son. Incredibly well-written, with outstanding points that need to be made and taught, and said with humor and love. I'm enjoying it immensely and feeling all the feels.
Thank you Michael Ian Black for writing this book and sharing your heartfelt thoughts. I'm laughing, crying, and hoping my son will read every word too. ♥️

A poignant look at boyhood, in the form of a heartfelt letter from comedian Michael Ian Black to his teenage son before he leaves for college, and a radical plea for rethinking masculinity and teaching young men to give and receive love.
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In a world in which the word masculinity now often goes hand in hand with toxic, comedian, actor, and father Michael Ian Black offers up a way forward for boys, men, and anyone who loves them. Part memoir, part advice book, and written as a heartfelt letter to his college-bound son, A Better Man reveals Black’s own complicated relationship with his father, explores the damage and rising violence caused by the expectations placed on boys to “man up,” and searches for the best way to help young men be part of the solution, not the problem. “If we cannot allow ourselves vulnerability,” he writes, “how are we supposed to experience wonder, fear, tenderness?”
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Honest, funny, and hopeful, Black skillfully navigates the complex gender issues of our time and delivers a poignant answer to an urgent question: How can we be, and raise, better men?
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I enjoyed this book. As a mom to a little man and a teenage girl, the world of toxic masculinity terrifies me for them. On both sides of the oppressive spectrum. I want better for both of my kids. I do not want my son to contribute to the systems... I want him to learn, and know better. We need more (white) men to change their thinking. The systems of oppression will not be broken down when the majority of those who they serve refuse to let them do and tear them down. I will definitely be recommending this one to the men in my life.

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC digital copy. I have not been compensated for my opinion and this is an honest review.

Unfortunately, I was unable to finish reading this ARC digital copy before it was archived. The book remains on my Goodreads "want to read" list and I will update my review to reflect an updated opinion once I have the opportunity to finish.

A Better Man is a thoughtful exploration of modern manhood by writer and comedian Michael Ian Black. The tone is unexpected from Black but once you learn that the collection of essays was inspired by the Sandy Hook School Shooting, an event the Black family experienced as nearby neighbors, then you realize where the solemnity comes from. Black's essays are heartfelt, funny, and very very personal, a real deep dive into his dark childhood and teen years. I appreciated his honesty in facing his own past while advising his son on his future. As the mother of sons, I felt the book to be truthful and informative. For parents, more than children.

It is fascinating, and to be honest a little uncomfortable, to see a master of ironic detachment be so open, honest, and vulnerable in his discussion of his life and his understanding of manhood. Some of that is due to this book being structured as a letter and instructions to his college-bound son, but some of it is also due to the fact that very few of us have the practice of examining masculinity and even fewer have the vocabulary to talk about it. Black does a good job examining the good and the bad in classic, contemporary progressive, and contemporary conservative conceptions of masculinity. While some parts stumble (his discussion of race does come off a little bit as "rich White liberal lecturing" despite his best efforts) his examination of his own life, the way his upbringing shaped his understanding of masculinity, his wide-ranging discussion (of work, sex, goals, communication, and love) and his final message (that it all boils down to love and sharing your love) are worth dealing with the occasional eye rolling passages. And it is nice to have a model of one way to approach these discussions with my son.

A BETTER MAN by Michael Ian Black is subtitled "A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son." Black begins by reflecting on gun violence and school shootings and, writing to his college aged son, asks: "Is there really something 'toxic' about masculinity? If so, what do we do about it? Is the role of men changing, and what does that mean for you?" This collection of sixteen essays cover a variety of topics like Black's relationship with his own father, white male power structure, and the language of masculinity. Originally, I had thought an excerpt or two might be worth reading and discussing in advisory homerooms, but Black's essays and family stories are fairly long and somewhat abstract for high school. They may be of interest to parents (particularly where he writes about becoming a parent), to advisors, and perhaps to some of our students who will soon be off to college themselves. His feelings are sincere and ultimately hopeful as when Black muses "I hope you'll remind me to stay open and available and receptive to new ideas. Maybe the last job of parenting is surrendering the lead and letting our kids guide us forward. We're going to need the help." A BETTER MAN, called "essential reading for both men and boys" by The Chicago Tribune, received a starred review from Booklist.

I highly recommend this book, It tells us it is ok, to be afraid to show emotion. It's ok to not understand everything. Being a dad is tough, especially in todays world. Where if you show to much emotion, your considered weak, to little emotion your considered cold. Fathers, uncles, grandfathers should read this but also mothers, aunts, and grandmothers.

Comedian Michael Ian Black wrote this book as a form of instruction to his college-bound son. His goal is to teach his son how to be a man and analyze what masculinity looks like. The book covers a variety of topics, including love, vulnerability, toxic masculinity, consent, pride, leadership, happiness, spirituality, and relationships.
I was not familiar with the author before I read the book, and I picked it up because I have a son who will leave for college soon. One of my favorite quotes is, "Although men bear responsibility for so much of what's wrong in the world, we also provide some share of what's right. We work hard and provide for others. We are helpers and friends and nurturers. We sacrifice. We inspire."
While I did appreciate the sociological insights Mr. Black shares about the history of why men are the way they are, the content is very liberal and slanted strongly against President Trump and anyone who supports him. I understand that parents are obligated to express their political views to their children and have discussions about politics, but readers should understand his perspective toward people who do not agree with his position.
The book is touted as funny, but I didn't laugh out loud. I was disappointed that the book includes way more history and sociology lectures - plus strong profanity - than jokes.
Mr. Black does include dozens of personal stories. One of my favorites was how he changed some of his jokes and life philosophy after the birth of his son. Fatherhood changed him, and this book shares many of his beliefs. I may not agree with everything he believes, but I do like the way he explains masculinity and provides a new path to a better manhood.

This book was marketed to be a book written by a father to his son as he leaves for college about masculinity.
After reading, it was really not at all what I expected. I was disappointed at the constant political opinions that were portrayed throughout the book. I wasn't expecting to read anything political nor did I want to.

I did enjoy the parts that discussed the male gender roles and expectations. Having two boys of my own I found a lot of that to be true.

Thank you to NetGalley, Algonquin and the author for this gifted book in exchange for my honest opinion.

(All quotes are taken from an advance reader’s copy and are subject to change in the final print.)

I wasn’t prepared to be as moved by Michael Ian Black’s A Better Man as I was. It’s a book about masculinity written from a father to his son before he leaves for college. And I’m a woman. But I do have a son who’s a teenager. And I struggle every day with how to raise my kids to be more aware of our privilege, to be an ally and not a hindrance.

I found myself marking page after page in this book. I devoured it in one day, finding myself laughing at some passages and in tears by the ending. In this combative climate, when friends and family are on opposing sides of the battle lines that have been drawn, one can start to feel like they’re screaming into a void. Reading A Better Man was educational, enlightening, and reassuring. Black broke down complex issues by looking at their origins, using examples from his own life and pop culture, and discussing them in a way that made them seem less daunting and more manageable. Hopeful.

He breaks down what it means to “be a man.” How American culture has repeatedly continued to send mixed signals to our sons. “…while men are meant to be stoic and quiet, boys are meant to be boisterous and loud.” He also points out that while boys are told to “be a man” girls are never told to “be a woman.”

Black takes a look at how we as a society have arrived in this toxic environment, he acknowledges that the bulk of healing rests on the shoulders of our children. At some point we have to allow them to teach us, acknowledge our mistakes, and embrace change.

“I’m encouraging you to look for the stuff that makes you uncomfortable because that’s the stuff that will end up mattering the most. Allow yourself to be frightened, to flounder around, and to fail. Let yourself lose control, reach out, let others pull you up. The ones who do will be your people. Find your people.”

Black tackles everything from gun violence, racism, and consent, to more personal issues like grief, friendship, and love. His advice for his son (and the rest of us) is honest, humble, and loving.

And his words on privilege as a white man are so simple but so true:

“You may feel it’s not your responsibility to fix what you did not break. That may be true to a certain extent, but I also think when you do not make an effort to fix what you know to be broken, you are actively making things worse for everybody else…. Moreover, selfishness won’t set you free from your obligations. It may forestall them, but you cannot escape your own humanity. At some point, you will have to figure out how you want to handle your responsibilities to other people.”

Black has written a book to his son on how to be a better man, but really it’s a book for all Americans on how to be a better human.

This was a really sweet book, written basically from Black to his son. I have been a big fan of Black’s comedy and this is totally different from what I expected from him. I would love to see him write a memoir or something in his usual comedic fashion.

There’s been a lot of talk about toxic masculinity in the past few years, but I hadn’t heard too much on the topic from the male perspective. Michael Ian Black’s book is written as a letter to his teenage son soon off to college. It’s filled with lessons Black has learned over the years (as a young man all the way up to his time as a father) and the knowledge he hopes to impart to his son before he sets off on the road to becoming a man.

I’ve been a fan of Black’s comedy for a long time (I loved that show “Stella” that was on back in the day), so I was interested to see how he would tackle such a serious topic as the way we’re raising our young men. But I found that he struck the perfect blend between seriousness (since the topic is rife with emotion) and humor so that it doesn’t read as an overwhelmingly sober book. I figured out right away that this wouldn’t be told with a focus on humor though – the first chapter explains how Black felt when he learned about the nearby elementary school shooting at Sandy Hook.

From there, Black delves with a great amount of honesty into his own story, especially what it was like to lose his father at a young age. He never shies away from aspects of his story that might not paint him in the best light (since teenage boys and young men do a lot of kinda foolish things). I appreciated that everything Black described was coming from a place of love – he truly wants his son to understand how complicated the world is and to grow from that place. And even for a white male, he wants him to know there are many pitfalls to be aware of in adulthood.

I felt more hope after reading this book. It made me feel like there just might be fathers out there who will raise their boys with empathy and openness, who will teach their boys the importance of consent, and who will caution them against turning a blind eye to their own privilege. I hope that other fathers (and mothers too) will read this book and find inspiration that can help drive them towards raising future generations that will populate our world with caring and kind individuals.

When I was pregnant with my own son I wrote him a letter. I wrote about how I hoped he would be kind and empathetic. I told him that I hoped he would be gentle and use his mind more than his fists.⁠
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I was well aware of the "toxic masculinity" that would surround him. I have had my own negative experiences with patriarchy. I did not, however, really know what it meant to be a man or a boy growing up in this culture and how I could help him be better, which is why I was so intrigued by #ABetterMan⁠ by @michaelianblack.⁠
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This is one long letter from the author to his college-aged son. Each chapter explores a different aspect of what it means to be a man in our culture.⁠
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I had to slowly read my way through this title because there was a lot for me to absorb and think about. The one thing that remains with me is the concept of a "self-made man" and how really there is no such thing.⁠
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I thought a lot about my own parenting and the things I may want to change.⁠
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This is a book worth reading if you too are trying your best to raise your son.⁠

Black asks and meditates on “how can we be, and raise, better men?” and, while I don’t think this type of question can be completely solved ever, I do think he adds positively to the conversation.
My own relationship with paternal figures and ideals is pretty spotty, and when reading a book like this you can’t help but reflect on your own experience. As always, the advice to “take what you want and leave the rest”, applies. These short pieces are compelling and make you feel like you’re listening to someone you care about tell you something interesting, directly and tenderly.
He doesn’t skip difficult stuff.
Some of these were hard to read because of the the content, and the memories they brought up, but never felt sensationalized or like they were pushing at emotions for the sake of a reaction. The first essay introducing the why of the book is about gun violence and it hurts; necessarily so.
He talks about gender, worrying about fatherhood, the harrowing realization that the idols in your life are also human, the suffocating trap of traditional masculine ideals, the parts of manhood that are better than he expected, love and heartbreak, vulnerability, religion, questioning things, and so much more. The whole book has a sense of intentional calm, and empathetic examination that I appreciated.
To me, it feels that he’s writing it because he genuinely wants to help fix the pervasive issues and misunderstandings surrounding masculinity and why so much of what has been done is so harmful.
It’s tough shit to look at and sift through, to be quite blunt about it.
He does it well and acknowledges the complications and how messy it is.
While I don’t agree with all of Black’s opinions, I found so much in here that made me think, reflect, get a little misty-eyed and thoughtful, and I always appreciate seeing the vulnerable thought process surrounding difficult topics.
The things he’s working out here are valuable for everyone to learn from and think about.