Michael Ian Black wants his college-bound son to understand that the culturally accepted definition of masculinity is not the only definition. And he wants each of you to know that too.

In over 250 pages, Black’s new book A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son, is a handbook to every man challenging the norms while encouraging a new way to think about manhood. He does this in the form of an open letter to his eighteen-year-old son who is headed to college. Known for his comedy, Black weaves his own story growing up with a distant father and a lesbian mother with his own discoveries about the American understanding of masculinity. All while making astute observations about American society.

What unfolds is a straight, white dad teaching his straight white son about systemic racism, structural inequity, and rape culture. Black is modest and writes beautifully from his heart.

This non-fiction book was written as a letter to the author's son in response to the horrific mass shootings that have been taking place in our country for far too long. He makes a valiant attempt to understand (while helping his sons and others understand) how boys have been raised with certain expectations throughout history (man up sound familiar?) and the ways that can make their lives seem easier and less complicated, but can also be detrimental. In his other life, Black is a stand-up comedian and actor. My apologies, Mr. Black, but I am not familiar with your other work. I did find that whenever the book started to weigh me down with some of the outdated messages that many boys still receive today, he would then write a sentence that would make me laugh. At times, the stand-up comedian side of him truly shined and this gave the book a much needed piece of levity. As a mother of two daughters and a son, as someone with a husband and a father, this book held my interest. There were things I've always been quite aware of but there were also a few surprises along the way. This book is a step in the right direction at understanding one another and our differences, but also our sameness and humanity. This is a man who loves his son and this will be transparent to anyone who reads this. Thank you to @netgalley @algonquinbooks & @michaelianblack for the free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. #abetterman #algonquinbooks #michaelianblack #bookstagram #netgalley #goodreads #bookreviewer #booksandmrdarcy #withhernosestuckinabook❤️📚

Wow! What an eloquent letter Black has written to his son about the attributes of masculinity. Black may be best known for his comedy, but the questions he poses in this book are not. Why are boys falling behind girls academically? How can we teach boys to respect girls? Why are young black men turning guns on others and on themselves? I love his use of the adjective “quiet” to describe manhood. According to him, the three most difficult words for a male to say are “I need help.” I am not sure why he included the information on the suffragette movement and abolition. I guess it could be a conversation started, but the rest was so good this was not needed.

A Better Man touches on so many crucial topics: gun violence, toxic masculinity, privilege, racism, sexism, gender, empathy, and more.

It’s so important for boys and men to know that playing sports, driving trucks, and/or having big muscles doesn't equate to strength and manhood. Strength, and manhood, comes in many forms: wisdom, courage, honesty, temperance, humanity, etc. They need to know that showing kindness and empathy is not a weakness, but a strength. No matter who you are, be your authentic best self, not what the old 'societal norms' dictate.

Thank you @algonguinbooks and @michaelianblack for my review copy.

This is the first book I read by Michael Ian Black and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Let’s be clear, I am not a parent, but nonetheless, Black wrote a poignant book for his oldest son.

Michael Ian Black wrote a no holds bar book and you can absolutely tell. At the time this was written, his son did not know all the family stories he was going to share.

He shares advice on what a “man” is supposed to be, how you need to accept no from women, but you too are allowed to say no. Black shares the regrets he had with his father and dealing with his death when he was very young.

I found myself personally rereading passages, laughing in many spots, and really taking in the message that Black is giving. This book can be read by any man, woman and children on the precipice of adulthood. There are so many takeaways and might even bring up discussions between you and your family.

Thank you NetGalley and Algonquin for an Advanced Reader’s Copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

*This review will go live on my blog on Tuesday 09/15, and I will update with the link below once it does.

I’m not at all familiar with Michael Ian Black’s work, but I thought reading A Better Man would be an interesting read. As a woman raising three kids (two girls, one boy), I was intrigued by what kind of advice a white man would give to his own son as his son is about to enter adulthood. A Better Man was actually a lovely read: a letter to a child that is obviously very, very loved, with some solid advice, and also a reflection on the author’s own life, his childhood, and on things that he would like to make sure are not perpetuated into the next generations.
The book is divided up into very clear chapters that deal with a specific topic (the idea of “being a real man”, strength, communication, emotions, toxic masculinity etc), but they all flow into each other very well. Michael Ian Black provides a clear overview of each topic, and then illustrates with his own experiences, as well as some quotes and stories from other people. He has a great writing style: clear and easy to read, but also funny and heartwarming. I loved just how open the author is with his son (and with us all), and how he isn’t scared to talk about his own confusion, lessons learnt, and all of the things he hopes to make easier for his own kids.
This is a lovely read, and also an interesting one, and I also appreciated how the author doesn’t dance about difficult topics that need to be discussed more often.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

Reading a book written by a comedian, you really don’t know what to expect. Is it going to be funny, intelligent, worthwhile? Or will it be just like how a comedian makes a name for themselves, a joke? I was happy to find out that Michael Ian Black is not only a funny man, but an insightful and talented writer.

Written as a letter to his eldest son, now college age, you not only get an abridged memoir from Black, but an eloquent prose of the dos and don’ts of being “a man” in today’s society. I enjoyed seeing his tenderness and sincerity as he shared about his own parents and upbringing, to his first moments as a father and how he has applied what he has learned, and continues to learn, to his own parenting style. As a woman, I appreciate what he is teaching his son in regards to women and girls, how to clearly establish boundaries and then respect those boundaries. How it isn’t sacrificing your “man card” by doing those things, or showing vulnerability, or anything not normally equated with traditional masculinity, but necessary for someone to be a well-rounded and caring individual.

Books written in this style often have a tendency to ramble or rabbit trail, but the vision and path of this story is well laid out and easy to follow. Examples are carefully considered and relevant. Chapters are the perfect length to be engaging, not drawn out and stagnant. The advice given is sound and this is one of those books that you want to stock up on and give to every new parent, or parent of a teen, or really anybody, because I learned a lot from what he had to say, from racism, feminism, toxic masculinity, love, and so on.

Finishing this book I came away with a renewed sense of hope for the coming generation, if only they can be taught what can be found within the pages of this book.

Thank you, Algonquin Books, for the copy of this book. The opinions are my own.

A Better Man is part memoir, part open letter to Black’s college-bound son. Michael’s son Elijah is entering adulthood and throughout this book he highlights his personal hopes for his son. Through the entire book, Black mentions his own experiences growing up that he doesn’t want his son to experience. 

By exploring his own relationship with his father, who died at 39 leaving Black with many questions, he realizes he has already outlived his father and does not want that for his own son. Black also explores ‘toxic’ masculinity by reclaiming the term and exclaiming masculinity as something that is able to love and protect without the violence and traits associated with the ideal of masculinity he grew up with. 

Michael Ian Black is also a comedian, which I didn’t know before reading this book. I obviously looked up some of his comedy clips on YouTube and he’s definitely funny. Throughout the book, his humor is apparent, but doesn’t overtake the purpose of the book.

I really enjoyed reading this book and discovering Michael Ian Black, both comedian and author. I would recommend this book as a great gift for any father to son, and even son to father. 

Thank you, Algonquin Books and NetGalley for this arc and allowing me to be a part of this blog tour in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks to Netgalley and Algonquin books for the arc and physical book in exchange for an honest review.

I am not familiar with this comedian because I’m not a big fan of tv/movies and I just have never noticed him. However, the premise of this book interested me: a man writing a letter to his son about how to be a better man.

I don’t have or want kids, but I like the idea of trying to do something beyond the masculine gender role that is tired, old and just makes people unhappy. I like that the author gave advice about how to be the kind of person you want to be, regardless of if it fits in the gender role.

I thought this book was well done.

A Better Man is written in the form of a letter from a father to his son. In it, the father addresses issues such as masculinity, gender, race and class privilege. It is heartfelt and touching and he nails the issues right on the head. This is a book every parent should read especially those raising a son.

More Solid Than Jello, Less Solid Than Steak: Advice From Father To Son On The Event Of The Son Leaving For College. And with that long-ass title out of the way... :D Seriously, this is a near-perfect letter of advice about life, love, and other mysteries from father to son as the son heads off to college and happens to have a celebrity dad. His statements about mass shootings are 100% demonstrably incorrect in a couple of places (and I in particular once analyzed such data at a level *few*, *if any*, others have), and his statements about Ayn Rand and White Guilt are philosophically incorrect (but in line with expectations given his own liberal philosophy), but otherwise what Black writes here rings true. And nearly as importantly, the love for his son rings through even louder than any moral or philosophical point he makes here. This is a type of letter than nearly any man wishes his dad would have left him, and Black truly does an excellent job of showing his own thinking and philosophies about the various issues discussed. In the end, I personally would love a celebrity from the right - as well as one of the very few celebrity anarchists such as possibly Woody Harrelson - to write similar public letters for their own kids, as between the three one would likely get an even stronger overall look at the topic at hand. But for exactly what it is, this truly is a phenomenal work with a quibble here or there, and very much recommended.

Disclaimer: I received this e-arc from the publisher. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Book: A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son

Author: Michael Ian Black

Book Series: Standalone

Rating: 3/5

Recommended For...: males and male identifying people

Publication Date: September 15, 2020

Genre: Autobiography

Recommended Age: 14+ (toxic masculinity, consent, sexual content)

Publisher: Algonquin Books

Pages: 304

Synopsis: In a world in which the word masculinity now often goes hand in hand with toxic, comedian, actor, and father Michael Ian Black offers up a way forward for boys, men, and anyone who loves them. Part memoir, part advice book, and written as a heartfelt letter to his college-bound son, A Better Man reveals Black’s own complicated relationship with his father, explores the damage and rising violence caused by the expectations placed on boys to “man up,” and searches for the best way to help young men be part of the solution, not the problem. “If we cannot allow ourselves vulnerability,” he writes, “how are we supposed to experience wonder, fear, tenderness?”

Honest, funny, and hopeful, Black skillfully navigates the complex gender issues of our time and delivers a poignant answer to an urgent question: How can we be, and raise, better men?

Review: For the most part this was a good book. It was really sweet and heartwarming. I really liked that the book discussed consent and privilege and other topics, but I feel like the book could have done more. I can't really explain it but I was just left with this feeling of incompleteness. Also, I wish to see more male identifying people to review this. I don't see nearly enough.

Verdict: It was good, but I would like to see more male perspectives on this.

If you're familiar with the work of comedian/actor/writer Michael Ian Black, "A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son" may very well come as a bit of a surprise.

It shouldn't, really.

While the longtime member of the comedy group The State is well known for his dry sarcasm and irreverent wit, Black has also been known, if you're paying attention, for socially insightful commentary and his increasingly popular role as a successful author of children's books.

Still, "A Better Man" is a Michael Ian Black that for the most part we haven't seen. For the most part devoid of Black's usual sarcasm and cynical nature, "A Better Man" seems determined to break the rules, personally and professionally, that Black has long set for himself.

In case you can't quite figure it out, "A Better Man" is essentially a letter from Black written to his college-bound son Elijah, whom Black most obviously worries about and even more obviously completely adores.

"A Better Man" is, indeed, a mostly serious endeavor though there are certainly moments when Black allows his humor to shine through and lighten, in mostly all the right moments, his most serious and potentially dark thoughts. Black gives us the richness of his humanity here, simultaneously far more vulnerable than we've ever seen him yet also occasionally defensive and fearful and guarded and, well, quite aware that he's intentionally showing the world the Michael Ian Black that they've never fully seen but he's always wanted to show to his fans and, perhaps even moreso, to Elijah.

Black began his journey inward with his last effort, "You're Not Doing It Right." It's a journey that continues here and both deepens and broadens. The earliest pages of "A Better Man" are profound and deeply moving, Black reflecting on the Sandy Hook massacre that occurred only blocks from his own son's school and subsequently weaving together memoir, personal and parenting reflections, and occasional social commentary as he seemingly points his son toward a healthier masculinity and toward the lessons that he hopes his parenting has brought forth in their mutual journeys.

Black knows that he's not a perfect man. He also knows that he wasn't a perfect parent. He occasionally seems to serve up a literary wince, reflecting upon those times when he's allowed his own past traumas and life baggage to get in the way of his being the father he wanted to be. It's not so much an end result that Black shares here as it is his hopes and fears, failures and belief in something other than himself that he doesn't quite call God but acknowledges has helped to illuminate his path.

Black explores the complicated relationship he had with his own father, a man who passed away traumatically at the age of 39 leaving unanswered questions and unresolved issues. "A Better Man," which feels essentially like a call to himself and a calling up of Elijah, immerses itself in light melancholy as Black writes to his son about everything from violence to sexuality to relationships to gender roles and, without question, most of all love.

Simply love.

Black explores toxic masculinity, but "A Better Man" is most certainly not about toxic masculinity. It is, instead, about reclaiming masculinity as something worth celebrating because it loves and protects and guards and is tender and is most certainly non-violent. The social commentary is undeniable here, though for the most part "A Better Man" stays fairly light within the political realm. Black most certainly discusses gun violence and those who work in the area of sexual violence will rejoice at the simple, straightforward way that Black instructs his son to always except "no" for an answer even if it's at the last minute and even if it's right in the middle.

Black makes sure his son understands that the same standard should always work both ways. It's a beautiful lesson, a desperately needed lesson, in a book that is filled with simple, straightforward yet deeply meaningful lessons from father to son as the son prepares to leave home and begin their tiptoe into adulthood.

There are moments, rather brief ones, when "A Better Man" flounders a bit as Black infuses his material with facts and resources that feel more like essays and less like a personal letter. However, these moments are truly relatively brief and also give Black's teachings a layer of substance and depth.

The truth is that "A Better Man" begins and ends sublimely. In between those literary bookends, "A Better Man" is filled with the heartfelt insights and vulnerable imperfections of a comedian and actor and writer doesn't so much want his son to "man up" as he wants his son to be "a better man."

An ideal book for those on the parenting journey and for longtime Michael Ian Black fans, "A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son" may be parenting advice but it's also stellar life advice as Black teaches us that there's a better way for boys and men to live and that better way is love and compassion.

This was a very sweet, heartfelt letter to a son. I love that this is talks about serious subjects without feeling preachy, but it also doesn't take these subjects lightly. This was a joy to read.

I reviewed A Better Man by Michael Ian Black. through Net Galley as an ARC. I like the writing style which is conversational as Michael is writing it to his 18 year old son. I could relate to what he was saying as I have 3 sons who are 18, 20, and 20. Some of the advice is about the "Me Too" movement", how to stand up for your values when you see something wrong. He talks about mass shootings, white privilege, and the culture of today. I would recommend this to anyone who has a son and I would buy this book as a graduation present. Michael also talks about the culture where men are taught to hide their emotions and how that is wrong as it cuts them off from experiencing life and sometimes even love.

I received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher. Michael Ian Black's A Better Man: A Letter to My Son reads like a memoir/advice column. Drawing from his own interesting life experience, Black poignantly discusses masculinity as it pertains to privilege, consent, parenthood, and beliefs, among other topics. It's a quick and enjoyable read that will make an excellent graduation or Father's (and even Mother's) Day gift.

As the mother of sons I loved this book. Since I'm not a man I sometimes struggle to, or at least worry whether I can, understand what my sons do (or will) go through as they grow into men. I loved the perspective in this book!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

Because this was written by comedian, Michael Ian Black, I had in mind a humorous read. Nope - not at all. Not to say there wasn't some tongue in cheek jabs once in a while, but this is a love letter from father to son.

For the first 50% of the book, I almost felt as if I were reading something private only meant for a son's eyes; or certainly another family member. It was the last half which made me want to scream, "YES! All boys need to read this book!"

Black doesn't shy away from what toxic masculinity is and why it is destroying our communities. He gives permission for his son to be human in every sense of the word. Fatherly advice about sex, relationships, how to say "no", what spirituality means, what privilege is; this part of the story I feel everyone would benefit.

I really appreciated Black's heart in this one. I miss seeing his comedy, but his serious side is pretty great, too.

Witty, sincere, and well put together. A book from the heart that touches the heart of the reader. Despite known for sarcasm and turns of phrase, Black lays out a honest treatise that resonates with all sons and fathers.

Every father (or single mother) should give this book to their son. It's thought-provoking, vulnerable and provides an insightful man's perspective of what "being a man" really means and what it shouldn't mean. While he is providing advice to his son before going leaving for college, he asks all men to take a look at what they've been taught and asks them to examine those beliefs, let go of the ones that don't fit and adopt ones that will make them a better man and human.

Excellent book!