Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for an eARC of this book!
This book was laugh out loud funny. Melanie Dale is a mom of 3 (1 natural and 2 overseas adoptions) and this book is her thoughts and lessons learned about all different aspects of motherhood. While I didn’t learn a whole lot, I was thoroughly entertained. The author is much different than myself but it was still relatable and fun. I loved the christian elements of this book and her connection to faith.
Overall I really enjoyed this book!

Parenting books can be so preachy sometimes and Melanie Dale admits this in the first few pages of this book. She shares how she doesn't like parenting books and that THIS will not be that type of parenting book.

With a good dose of humor, Dale shares her experiences raising her 3 children, 1 who was conceived with fertility treatments and the other 2 were adopted. She boils down what she's gleaned from her experience and offers her advice, all of which is achievable. Dale fully admits that she is not a Pinterest mom and how she parents in a society where everything is celebrated (100th day of school! Gender reveal! etc. etc.) She talked about incidences where there were bathroom disasters, stinky kids (sometimes a result of said bathroom disasters), kids saying embarrassing stuff in public etc. We've all been there and it is refreshing to see someone offering parenting advice and fully admitting they've been in the lows of parenting. Parenting is tough. It is best to face it with humor and to choose your battles. Each chapter ends with a numbered list of things you can try as a parent...and these lists are doable.

This was such a forgettable read. I've picked this book up at least twice and each time I out it down for whatever reason and just completely forgot it existed. While there is some useful information in this book, there is nothing that makes it stand out from every other parenting book.

I wasn’t sure just how much help I’d get from this book dealing with my twelve-year-old daughter, but I ended up getting a lot of help for me. I didn’t realize just how much stress I was keeping myself under worrying about my daughter growing up. While reading, I took notes so that I can make little signs through the house as reminders for me. Also, while reading this book I realized that my daughter’s doing just fine, but I’ve now got techniques to deal with some of the things that might come up, i.e. dating, attitude, and schoolwork.
I thoroughly enjoyed the authors writing style, her ability to have humor throughout kept me coming back for more. This isn’t a quick read, and I wouldn’t suggest you try to skim either. It’s packed full of great ideas, tips, and techniques for dealing with your children from baby to college. I suggest this book for every parent, because each one of us needs help in some area or another. This book will help you while not talking down to you.

*I received an ARC of this story from NetGalley and this is my honest and voluntary review.

This is a fantastic must-read parenting! It is down-to-earth and witty and just what every parent needs to hear! She manages to remind the reader to keep a more long term perspective when the day to day seems overwhelming. Not reading with one of the kids one day or cake for breakfast every once in awhile may feel like a fail, but we are doing better than we know and we should try to remember it and savor the moments. With social media overload displaying picture perfect playrooms and ideal moments, we sometimes forget that other parents know what the hard moments are like and just how sweet the good ones are too. Dale reminds us. I especially loved how she touched on relationship with spouse. Bringing a new child to the world can change a lot of things and it is easy to center our lives around our children. She reminded me that I need to try to do better to make time for my husband and I am so excited to utilize what I have learned and also help my anxious type A personality calm the h*ck down!

I received a copy of this from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. This is a fun read that also packs in parenting advice for all of us parents. You will even find yourself laughing out loud at certain parts of this book. This is one you will pull out again just for the advice and laughs.

This is another sarcastic parenting book by someone who I don’t know. I guess this genre is just getting boring to me. It’s not that this author isn’t funny and relatable. She is. But this book could have been a couple blog posts. I could not get through it.

This is a super easy and fun book to read THATS got lots of good parenting tidbits. As Melanie says, you take what you think can work for you and ignore the rest. My daughter is 7 and I wish I had read this when she was younger.

Melanie’s writing style is fun. I smiled, I nodded, I even laughed out loud here and there. I also copied about five quotes and put them aside to remind myself about how I want to lead my life as a father.

I’m going to buy this book as a gift for new parents.

#netgalley #calmtheh*ckdown

I would like to believe Melanie and I would be friends. I loved this book so much and will be using it as a roadmap as my two littles get older. I normally don't read parenting books because they can be a bit much. But this one was different than most and makes me realize that as long as my kids are breathing and fed, I am doing good as a parent.

This is another totally unneeded parenting book about how to "do less' written by a layperson. The author's personal anecdotes are entertaining but she doesn't provide anything concrete or valuable that can be applied to my own life. I might be perfect for other parents.

ARC via NetGalley but the opinions are solely my own.

I'm so sad that I have to wait 6 more months to pedal this book to all of my mom friends! Anyone who knows me will know from the opening remarks why I love this book. The cesspool of my shriveled heart sees the cesspool of Melanie's heart. The calm down parenting method is something that I'm really good at coaching other people in and really bad at following myself. This book was the accountability that I really needed and it felt like it was written by my best friend. I will 100% be sharing this with all of my mom friends. Thanks Netgalley for the advanced copy for review.

Sometimes, as a parent, you just want to hear that you're doing ok. That you're not irreversibly traumatizing your child by saying, "No, you can't have that," and walking away while they throw a tantrum. So many of us doubt ourselves and drive ourselves crazy, wondering if we're doing the right thing for our kids. Melanie Dale has been through it all, much more than I have ever been through or will ever go through, and if she's telling me to calm down, I'm gonna calm down because she thinks I'm doing ok.

I always enjoy Melanie Dale's books. They are written in such a humorous tone and that really helps me enjoy them even more. Like Mrs. Dale, I have chidren with special needs so we definitely need to keep our sense of humor about us . I like that she doesn't try to pretend like her parenting or her children are perfect but offers advice on things that have worked for her with her children. I think she has some excellent discipline ideas here that aren't too harsh and also will help build relationships, responsibility, and respect.

It's refreshing to read a parenting book that *doesn't* claim to have all the answers. In fact, in this humorous account, the author claims to have little idea of what she's doing. I loved the tone and this was an easy read because it was so enjoyable, like spending an afternoon with a friend who really "gets it".

It's so easy for us as parents to compare our parenting style to others, as well as comparing our children to other children. I love books like this one because they remind us that even the parents who act like or seem to have it all together, don't always. We all struggle as parents and social media makes us falsely assume that everyone else has it together. Melanie's own parenting stories are hilarious and heartwarming. I would recommend this book to any parent struggling with child rearing.

This book was a riot. I often laughed out loud at the author's irreverent, but realistic, take on parenting. For any parent who is stressed out by not being the perfect parent, this is the book for you. The author talks about how we need to calm down about parenting in a variety of ways and sprinkles in funny but relatable stories. An absolutely great book!

I love this book because it made me aware of the unrealistic expectations I had about being a parent and how I compare my kids to other. I do sometimes feel like I'm parenting wrong when I look at how mothers on social media are represented. Get read on keeping calm and learning that every parent has there own unique ways.

A funny yet real book about parenting. I have read a lot of books on parenting and they are usually very serious. This one has serious issues but deals with life in a lighter way helping you not feel so much like a failure.

I received an advanced copy and this is my own opinion.

Calm the H*ECK Down came to me at a perfect time, when I needed to chill out and rethink some things I was doing in my own parenting journey. Melanie Dale is, first of all, hilarious! I totally get and love her humor. It is a bit sarcastic and irreverent, but she's hitting you right in the gut with truth about parenting. Not only is this book humorous, it is also practical. She gives real life scenarios that she's lived through and gives you practical advice that helped her through that situation. She also sheds light on the fact that one solution is not for everyone, so you feel empowered to make the best decision for your family. Each chapter wraps up with a list of practical things you can do to "calm the h*ck down" about whatever that chapter happened to be about (work, yourself, schedules, etc.). I look forward to looking up Melanie Dale's previous work, and I highly recommend Calm the H*CK Down.

Calm the H*ck Down is a witty reader on how to <s>just get through</s> love life with the monsters you call your children. This is a well-written, <u>actually helpful</u> book that provides methods for anxious parents like me to laugh at ourselves and our precious cherubs, take a breath, do our best, and move the hell along.

Dale believes that we put too much weight on minutiae and lose the big picture. As a mother through in vitro and adoption of special needs and neurotypical children, Dale believes even the big struggles fade with time, so worrying about the nonsense is pointless. <b><i>"Remind yourself that this thing that seems so monumentally important right now will be a blip on the radar in a year or two." "Parenting doesn't have to be an extreme sport. We can figure out what matters the most to us and relax a little about everything else."</b></i>

She provides advice on how to stay present and do what you can, accepting that that's enough. <b><i>"Don't try to show up to everything. It's impossible. Check as many boxes as you can and leave the rest."</b></i>

Dale wants to be an excellent parent, and probably is. And many of us who feel really crappy are probably doing just fine: <b><i>"We are doing so much right, but sometimes we focus on all the ways we miss the mark."</b></i>

Still, rather than rah-rahing that mothers are goddesses and each mom is the perfect one for her child, Dale offers advice for how to change your language and outlook to parent a little better and feel better about parenting. <b><i>"Figure out what rules you really want to focus on with your kids, and depending on the kids, you might have to work on one at a time...Try to say yes as often as possible and save all the critical stuff for the big rule you're working on."</b></i>

Dale is hilarious. Her anecdotes are quick and quippy, and it's clear she laughs at her children as her advice suggests - <b><i>"You will not survive parenting kids unless you learn to laugh at them, and I don't mean laugh with them. Laugh at them." </b></i>

Each chapter has tips throughout (though it reads more easily than many parenting books) and comes with a handy list at the end - things to remember or ways to handle a certain topic. <b><i>"What's the loving thing to do here?" "Do you want to use self-control, or do you want me to use parental control?"</b></i>

Dale also discusses maintaining strong romantic relationships and a sense of self. <b><i>"Do not put your life on hold while you're raising your kids...Who were you before you had kids? Find an outlet, find your passion, and keep at it..."</b></i> And maybe it's not just about your passion. Maybe you work outside the home like I do (you monster) and you sometimes think you are sooo much better at that than at raising the kids. <b>"Maybe your calling is being a kickass orthodontist who happens to have kids."</b></i> Not to be dramatic, but that idea kind of makes everything feel better.

One note: this teeters into Christian Press territory. There are only a couple Bible quotes and one religious chapter, which was inclusive of all religions and beliefs. Dale believes her faith is important to how she parents, so I get why she went there. And yes, many readers will likely pick this up <u>because</u> it includes Christian ideology. Thankfully, Dale believes as strongly in equality and openness as she does in scripture. She also believes in open conversations about hard topics. <b><i>"Let your children see you cultivate a widely varied set of friends. Let them see you learn new things and humble yourself to other people's points of view. Don't shy away from the important stuff." "The world isn't colorblind, and our kids deserve a complete education from us."</b></i> Also she likes cursing. So she's probably OK. <b><i>"I'm less worried about the edgy words they use and more concerned with whether or not their words are kind."</b></i>

A few other bits I loved:
<b><i>"Mourning your imaginary unicorn kids in your brain frees you up to love the unique, incredible kids you actually have."
"You might spend an inordinate amount of time worrying they're going to get themselves killed. This is normal."
"Learn how to apologize well and teach your kids how to do it." "You say the wrong words, apologize, and work to find the right ones."
"Talk through how you're feeling, how you could handle it better, and how you're processing it in a healthy way. If you're having a hard day, it's okay to let your kids see you frustrated, sad, mad, or worried, and work through it."
"Approach your kids with unconditional respect."
"I've given up trying to get into a routine. There is no routine. Each day comes at you like a fire hose, and you have to just let it hit you in the face." </b></i>True story.

I received a free advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. This was my first NetGalley book, and I am fully geeking out right now.