While perusing goodreads reviews of this book before I started it, I found a review that compared this book to a friend showing up to your house with a bottle of whisky, ready to spill all the dirt on how and why her marriage ended. And in a way, I completely agree. Molly writes in a way that is totally candid, and feels as though I'm listening to my best friend fill me in on her life and her emotions. It felt deeply personal and raw and trusting - Molly held nothing back, not the good, not the bad, and definitely not the ugly. And for that I appreciated her.

But at the same time, that review of the book does it a disservice, because this was so much more than a steamy tell all brimming with salacious and gossipy details. It was an exploration of gender and sex and sexuality and how we express these things and what they mean, and how they differ from person to person. It was filled with snippets from writers who have written about these topics and from scientists who have studied it, And it opened up my eyes to the fluidity of feminine sexuality and how, regardless of how you "categorize" yourself, it is a deeply personal endeavor and there are no wrong answers.

The problem with memoirs by highly skilled writers is sometimes that they are persuasive in ways that make me wonder if their talents are obscuring the truth. What is the other side of the story, the suppressed or unspoken narrative that might give lie to the memoirist’s carefully constructed reality? I felt this uncomfortable slipperiness in The Fixed Stars, in which Wizenberg strives mightily to show that her marriage's end was the inevitable outcome of an inner change of desires that she could neither forsee nor resist. Strong writing, compelling story, but essentially a summation for the jury.

I discovered Molly Wizenberg's blog, Orangette, sometime during college. I remember thinking how much I wanted to be like her. I remember her writing about Brandon asking her to marry him and moving cross country to start their life together. I remember the beautiful way she described food, and the way her food blog was really about so much more than food. I was pounding away at my undergrad thesis and on the other side of the country, here was a full blown person with an adult life, captured in moody, grainy film photos and achingly beautiful phrases.

Since then, I've grown up. I've checked in on the blog and Molly Wizenberg intermittently over the years, but I actually never read any of her memoirs until The Fixed Stars.

There's that eternal question of when someone has lived enough to write a memoir. In this case, the author is in her earlier forties, but The Fixed Stars is her third memoir. Before I really dove into the book, I wondered whether she would really have anything poignant to say, but I quickly learned it's not the number of years in one's life that give perspective, but their experiences and willingness to poke into the good and bad parts, despite the discomfort. As the author recounts, she has spent a lot of time (and money) on therapy, doing important self-reflection that she shares with us.

The Fixed Stars is an incredibly candid account of a woman at a point of immense change, discovering her sexuality, leaving her husband, and figuring out who she is in the midst of this turmoil. Somehow, based on her blog and Internet presence, I would have told you that the writer is circumspect and a bit private, but y'all, in this book, she. spills. the. tea. Another reviewer said this book is like if a friend of yours went through a breakup and came over with a bottle of wine to tell you all the dirty details. And it is, but the book is also a lot more. It's a meditation on becoming who you are, the changes we all go through throughout our life -- even if not as dramatic as those described here, none of us are the person we used to be. Molly Wizenberg helps us make sense of how to accept the crappy side that comes with this eternal shedding of layers.

When I was little, I figured that as I grew older everything that happened before would become water under the bridge. I guess I assumed my memories would fade and I would morph into a new person at these various phases of life: Once a child, then a teen, a college and law student, then a young adult, now a wife inching toward middle age, someday perhaps a mother. Unfortunately, damn my wonderful memory, it all sticks around. I'd like very much to rid myself of the less pleasant parts, but as Molly points out, it's all part of me. Reading The Fixed Stars, I realized that's just the deal. I loved this sentence, about the author's father: "He dragged around all the aches, sorrows, and piles of personal garbage that a human accumulates over seven decades of living."

Now, at 33, I feel more like a contemporary of the author than a young woman looking up to her and dreaming of some day being like her. Really, we're not that much alike, but I think I would have a lot to learn from following along, always a few years behind her, reading the wisdom she shared in her memoirs.

Aside from her own story, Molly Wizenberg weaves in quotes and essays about sexuality and psychology. These parts of the book were less compelling for me, but I still really enjoyed the book, and I'm all in for the next one.

Note: I received an advance reading copy from NetGalley.

Having not read either of Wizenberg's previous two memoirs, I went into this not knowing much. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her and how she came to be who she is today. And as white, straight, cisgender woman, I also found everything she learned and all the research she shared about gender and sexuality very informative and eye opening. She shared her story with honest self reflection and I admire the way she's worked so hard to create a life that feels true to herself, not matter how hard or different that may be from what she thought it would look like.

Honestly, the topic of a memoir is irrelevant if the writing is good. I didn’t even read the blurb before eagerly tearing through the book. If you loved Molly Wizenberg’s previous work, then you’ll love this.

As a fan of Molly Wizenberg's writing already, I came to this expecting her particular brand of honest observation about life. I was not disappointed. She explores her changing sexuality in a way that feels honest and brave at the same time. I came away with a feeling that we are made up of so many more parts than we realize. Our stars are not fixed in many ways.

A fascinating read about sexual orientation, blowing up your life, relationships, and more. Molly Wizenberg's led an interesting life, and the way she reflects upon it is captivating.

I have followed Orangette’s blog for a while, on the recommendation of my excellent and dear friend, Liz. I knew that Molly had had some life changes which, from the outside, looked unexpected, and so I was really excited to see the ARC available on Netgalley, and much more excited when my request was granted from Abrams Press – thank you!

It zoomed to the top of my list and I read it in a couple of days – definitely a sign of a compelling story.
Molly’s writing style is like a voice in your head, informal and friendly, but somehow able to convey complex thoughts and ideas.

After being in a heterosexual marriage for 10 years, Molly has a chance encounter with someone who causes her to address the big questions; is she in the right place? Is she with the right people? Should she shake up her life in favour of pursuing this new one, which might destroy her and those around her?

As is often the case with memoir, it’s not the ending but the journey you’re interested in. Her discussions with her friends and family, the frank conversations with her husband around their options, provided a unique perspective. It’s evidently a really, really complicated situation, without clear ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and the story is told so well that you are able to appreciate the nuances and the time taken to understand what’s happening.

The other area I found interesting was the approach Molly took with examining sexuality – her own and the ideas and theories surrounding gender/sexuality and whether it changes over the course of your life(s). It fits with the ‘Molly’ you might be familiar with in the blog, and the other writing from her – she’s methodical, rational and keen to understand the facts as well as aligning that with how she feels.

Recommended, and I’d like to read her previous memoir now too, which I managed to miss - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18144099-delancey

Thank you to Netgalley and ABRAMS for providing me a chance to read the ARC of this book!

To be honest, this is the first memoir I’ve ever read in my life. I didn’t know what I was doing when I first picked up the book, I didn’t know if I would like it, what if memoirs aren’t my thing?
This book is very honest and full of raw emotional feelings and things that I mostly can relate to regarding sexuality. It felt very personal to me, and before I knew what was going on, I was already engrossed in the book and couldn’t put it down until I finally finished it. And that happened after I finished the prologue. It’s very beautiful and I love the book so much.

I was excited for this book after reading Wizenberg's two other memoirs. I enjoyed the first half of the book and I thought it had some interesting insights on the excitement and the struggle to come to grips with the unexpected ways our life can change in ways we never thought possible. I did find the last half to be too bogged down with a reiteration of all the books and articles that Weizenberg read on the topics of female sexuality, gender fluidity, etc. I felt like much of this could have been covered with just the sources section at the end of the book.

I don't read much in the way of memoir anymore, but I always make an exception for Molly Wizenberg, whose work I have been reading for fifteen years. This book will appeal to anyone who. like me, has followed Wizenberg's work and life (and has spent more time waiting to be seated at Delancey than maybe any other restaurant ever), but I imagine Wizenberg will find new readership here with her thoughts on sexuality, gender, desire, marriage, parenthood, and building an authentic life for oneself. In fact, the title of her first memoir, A Homemade Life, would work for this book too!

Author Molly Wizenberg is an excellent writer, whether she is writing about food, family or herself. She captures nuance, taste and intimacy with exceptional detail and flair. Is it possible to delve too deeply into some aspects of one’s personal psyche? Until this memoir, I hadn’t thought so; but it’s possible there is a fine line between self-analysis and too much information. THE FIXED STARS is a deeply personal treatise on the author’s journey out of a difficult marriage into something else. The something else, though, remains an unfinished business despite the title’s implication of stasis. I firmly believed that Wizenberg’s life and marriage would implode based on her earlier works. I had no idea they would change in quite this way. She now identifies as a lesbian and is in a relationship with someone who is gender fluid. Her life and her ideas are still very much in transition although her love for her daughter remains a keystone in her life. This is a fascinating book. I received my copy from the publisher though NetGalley.

I'm a big fan of Molly Wizenberg's previous two books - she has a very elegant way with words. While this memoir took a different tangent and took on topics such as sexuality, parenthood, divorce, and family, her writing was still exquisitely crafted. I devoured this book in two days. More, please! Thank you, Netgalley, for this arc.

The Fixed Stars is a memoir by Molly Wizenberg that I couldn’t stop reading. I’ve read memoirs before, but this one felt like a novel with vivid sensory details and raw emotional scenes. Wizenberg’s words flowed from her heart and onto the pages while sharing a deeply personal glimpse into her life.

Not only is it honest, brave, and raw but Wizenberg demonstrates how sexuality, especially for women, has the potential to be fluid rather than fixed from birth.

The Fixed Stars is an emotional reading journey that will open your eyes to a fresh perspective on sexuality, relationships, and gender. I highly recommend this memoir from Molly Wizenberg. 5 stars.

I love Molly Wizenberg and I was so excited to read this book. However, I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as Homemade Life and Delancey. The subject matter, of course, is much more serious, but I found The Fixed Stars didn't read as well as her other books. I think it was the quotes and footnotes which felt distancing to me. The Fixed Stars is definitely a book of the heart.

Loved getting another offering from Molly Wizenberg. Such a personal and beautiful story. I read it in one sitting.

The Fixed Stars by Molly Wizenberg is a memoir about marriage, motherhood and exploring sexual orientation.

This is Molly's third book, after one about her marriage to Brandon, followed by one about Brandon opening a restaurant. I loved both of those. This one is about the disintegration of her marriage when she is attracted to at attorney while serving jury duty. Molly pores over various relationships in her life while trying to figure out if she is gay or straight or defies a label. She openly talks to Brandon about her feelings and tries to work things out with him in marriage counseling.

It was very good.

I first became acquainted with the author's lovely writing through her food blog, Orangette, and have enjoyed her other memoirs. This one, about her evolving sexuality and the dissolution of her marriage, is particularly honest, painful and deeply felt. Never a particularly fast reader, I finished this over the course of a long afternoon, feeling as though I was listening to a friend fill me in on her life. I highly recommend this memoir for any public library and bookstore. My thanks to Abrams, the author and NetGalley for allowing me to read it ahead of time so that I can start recommending it!

I loved this memoir from Molly Wizenberg. It's a great exploration of sexuality, marriage, and family. Wizenberg did such a great job of portraying the layers involved in realizing your relationship isn't right and exploring new ones. I will definitely be purchasing this for myself and for my library when it is released.