Excellent and heart wrenching memoir. Jollett discusses issues of being in a cult, parenting, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and growth through drug/alcohol abuse and mental health issues. Definitely read this one and digest it slowly.

What a life Mikel Jollett has lived - and survived to tell! From his infancy in a cult-like environment to life with a mentally fragile mom, Jollett survived through hell. And that doesn't include life with a drug-addicted brother, a dad who served prison time, and his own time as a rock-and-roll hard roller. Jollett presents all this without bows or fancy wrapping paper in "Hollywood Park." It's a personal account of his personal growth, dips and dives, and how he fought to claim a bit of normalcy in his life. It's inspirational without preaching - straight-up truth without sugarcoating. I highly recommend this memoir for anyone who seeks proof that good can come from bad, that love can be found in loss, and that every day can bring a new beginning.

Jollett's honesty and introspection shine a light on the lasting effects of childhood trauma. Although the story seemed to drag a little in places and was a little too long for my taste, the story is a beautiful tribute to imperfect families.

Thank you to Celadon Books for providing me with a copy of Mikel Jollett’s memoir, Hollywood Park, in exchange for an honest review.

For those unaware, Mikel Jollett is the frontman and lyricist for the Los Angeles rock band, The Airborne Toxic Event. I’m a massive fan who has had the joy of seeing them live many times. The energy and storytelling of The Airborne Toxic Event affects me in a way that is unlike anything else.

Music is a funny thing. Like poetry, sometimes it is difficult to nail down why it speaks to you. With The Airborne Toxic Event, the songs and rhythm feel personal, and unique in capturing my experience growing up in Los Angeles.

Reading Hollywood Park and learning about Jollett’s life, made me understand my own life. Our situations are vastly different, but some of the childhood trauma rings true. It also helped me understand some of my early relationship choices and dysfunction. Like Jollett, I’ve reached a place in my life where I feel at peace with my past and hopeful for my future.

Jollett’s Hollywood Park was released as a memoir with an accompanying album of the same title. It is a grand undertaking that has been many years in the making. Both are fabulous and deeply affecting.

In his memoir, Jollett dives into his early childhood years spent at Synanon, a commune in California. Synanon was original started as place for recovering addicts, but over time, the leadership and motivations shifted. Jollett’s parents, his father a former heroin addict, and his mother, a Berkeley idealist, joined at a time when the commune was changing, including new rules that separated parents from their children. Jollett, and his older brother Tony, spent several years in an orphanage type arrangement in Synanon.

Their mother escaped with them in the middle of the night, but leaving Synanon was not easy. They feared retribution, and Jollett witnessed the severe beating of their mother’s boyfriend, who had also escaped the commune. Jollett’s mother suffered from mental illness and struggled with poverty. She had unstable relationships, including one man who was very abusive. Jollett’s father also left the commune, marrying Bonnie, another former Synanon member, who happened to work at the child center on the compound. Bonnie had bonded to Jollett when he was young and remained a second mother to him.

In Hollywood Park, Jollett comes to terms with the effects of his difficult childhood, which created problems in his adulthood. He carried the weight of his family, including the history of Jollett men going to prison, and falling into addiction. Even though he escape this family pattern, he was waiting for the other shoe to fall, as he found success with college, writing, and The Airborne Toxic Event. He struggled with relationships, always finding excuses to run away. After seeking therapy, he discovered that he had attachment disorder. Through therapy, he was able to prepare himself for engaging in a lasting relationship, which he found, and is now married with two children. It also prepared him to deal with his mother’s erratic behavior and the death of his father.

The title refers to a former Los Angeles landmark, a racetrack called Hollywood Park. Hollywood Park is a place where Jollett’s father used to escape for an afternoon of gambling and where he spent time with Jollett. The once glamorous race track fell into disrepair prior to it being torn down to make way for a football stadium. Jollett writes beautifully about these places that now only exist in our memory, both the physical places and the memories that we have of people we have lost. I lost my mom in 2008, and I have my own memories with her at both Hollywood Park and Santa Anita Race Track.

Jollett doesn’t write much about The Airborne Toxic Event, but he does give insight to the origins of two of their early hits: “Wishing Well” and “Sometime Before Midnight.” This memoir isn’t really about the band, but more about the origins of the man who felt compelled to put his words into songs.

I was fortunate to attend a virtual book event for Hollywood Park that was hosted by Tattered Cover, a Denver based bookshop. The event was originally supposed to be live, but due to Covid-19, virtual was the next best option. It was actually great. Jollett joined us from his home and played several songs. He was gracious with answering questions and sharing intimate details of his life. A week after the event, I received a hardback copy with an autographed bookplate.

Hollywood Park is a stunning memoir. It’s heartbreaking and uplifting. It is a must-read for fans of Jollett, but even if you’ve never heard of The Airborne Toxic Event, I highly recommend Hollywood Park. It is one of the most affecting and engaging memoirs that I have ever read.

What a remarkable memoir! It's not only because of the life the author has lived so far. It's not only because of the rawness and beauty of the writing. There are so many reasons that will not allow anyone to forget this book.
It was amazing to see the strength and persistence that the author exhibited. The trauma and abuse he experienced through so many of his adult caregivers did not defeat him. Drugs and alcohol dominated his life and so many of his family members yet he persevered, as tough as it was. Luckily, he was able to attend college and, eventually, find comfort through his music.
I repeat that his story is remarkable. I was rooting for him on each page and continue to do so.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book. Unfortunately I was also sent a hard copy of the ARC from Celadon. Thank you.

Mikel Jollett, lead singer of Indie rock group The Airborne Toxic Event, writes a surprisingly beautiful memoir of his life. The effects of being born and raised as a young child in a cult, and the mental illness of a key figure in his life, had profound implications on who and how Mikel lived, felt, and interacted with others. The overcoming of life’s traumas are an ongoing process.
Admittedly, during the first half of the book, I found some parts slow and overly long but for some reason it really picked up for me in the second half. I think Mikel is a good writer whose descriptions of incidents and feelings were impressively communicated. 3.75 stars. ~Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read this book.

I'm a huge fan of Mikell Jollett, and have loved The Airborne Toxic Event for over ten years. Hollywood Park was one of my most anticipated releases of the year! Jollett is a true poet and wordsmith. I loved how he captured his voice as a child, and how we got to grow and mature along with him. He's really an excellent writer!

My main problem with this book was that it was misrepresented. I was especially excited to read it because I'm fascinated by cult stories, and I thought this was going to be Jollett's tale of growing up in Synanon, a violent cult in northern California. I was surprised then to see that his family left the cult in the very first chapter, when Jolett was only a young child. While his writing was emotive and touching, I wasn't all that interested in his story. I love a good survival tale, but I felt that his story of absenty parents and drug abuse has already been told before. Without the cult aspect, it didn't really stand out.

I received this eARC of one of my highly anticipated reads for the year and flew through it. Hollywood Park is a memoir that is based on the life experience of Mikel and his brother Tony, who are children being housed and "taught" at a cult. Just imagine how you would have interpreted this experience through life, having lived it at such a young age.
Both of their parents are involved but their mother is the one who gets them out. Unfortunately her ability to transition to normal life is lacking and therefore the children are forced to accept a lot of responsibility for themselves from a very young age.
The fascinating thing about the early chapters is that Mikel tells the story from his younger child's POV. He is younger than his brother and therefore his memories and words for events and objects reflect that childlike quality. This really brings a unique perspective to this recounting of lived events. The perspective shifts with age and the insights into living and then running from a cult and how it effects you throughout your life makes for a fascinating read.
I bought a copy of this for myself.
If memoirs interest you or an insight into cults, this book is for you.
Highly recommend.
Thank you #Netgalley #CeladonBooks #HollywoodPark

I experienced many emotions while reading this excellent memoir. It was hard to read of the trauma that the author and his brother experienced in childhood while living in Synanon and while living with their mother. I am thankful they had such a loving father and stepmother who were there to support and nurture them. That support allowed Mikel and his brother to overcome their shared past.

I like a good memoir and this one didn't disappoint. I had never heard of Mikel Jollett or the Synanon cult before reading this book. Well-written without being self-indulgent. Great read!

I wanted to like this memoir more than I did since it seems right up my alley. The author and his brother spend the first part of their lives in a cult, separated from their parents and basically living as orphans. When he’s about four years old, their mother decides she’s had enough and escapes with them, moving them around for a while to avoid the violent cult they left behind. From that inauspicious beginning, the boys struggle for decades, together and separately, with trust, relationships, and their horrible family legacy of substance abuse.
Although the author’s story is a compelling one, the first third of the book just dragged for me. The middle picked up, but then, around the last quarter, it slowed again, bogged down in too many details about his rise as a musician.
I found his relationship with his narcissistic mother the most interesting part of the book; unfortunately, though, she was missing from the story for most of the second half.
Thanks to #netgalley and #celadonbooks for this ARC of #hollywoodpark.

Hollywood Park by Mikel Jollett is a 2020 Celadon Books publication.

An unconventional journey fraught with adversity, but ultimately an inspirational memoir

To be honest, I went into this memoir blind. I think I added it mainly due to the mention of a cult, a topic I am often drawn to. However, before starting the book, I Googled Jollett, and listened to his music, wondering why I had not stumbled across him earlier.

But, despite my unfamiliarity with the author, I found myself pulled into his original approach, in which he uses the voice of his childhood,making it seem as though we are living these experiences right along with him. It is instantaneously obvious that Mikel’s upbringing is irregular, to say the least.

Although I have heard of many cults, I was not familiar with Synanon, the cult Jollett lived in until the age of five, when his mother finally escaped. Again, I did a little Googling and learned that the cult was supposed to be a drug rehabilitation center but had turned violent.

While it is a relief to know the family made it out of that situation, Mikel’s childhood is far from stable. Addiction, narcissism, and a lack of traditional parenting, forces Mikel to become wizened beyond his years.

This is a powerful, compelling memoir. Jollet’s extraordinary writing technique gives one a poignant look at addiction and the emotional drain that reigns on all of those involved. His words are tender and merciful, his memories affecting, and his courage inspiring.

Despite the painful scars, Mikel’s hard work and personal growth have broken chains, providing him with the strength and insight to become a productive and successful adult.

Overall, a compelling memoir I am so glad I took a chance on!

Jollett’s experience as a music lyric writer serves him well in this memoir. In the beginning, his structure of looking at his life is through his eyes as a child. His reflections reflect the way children misunderstand words. His mother’s depression becomes her “deep Russian”. His retelling becomes less detailed as he gets old, but the journey he takes us on is eye opening as he transitions from a life born in a cult to creating a successful indie band. If you are a fan of his band, The Airborne Toxic Event, and you want to know more about it, you will be disappointed. This book is about how Jollett got there.

I received this from Netgalley.com for a review.

Based on the life of Mikel Jollett, this is his story of survival and perseverance and his lifelong struggle of having lived in a notorious cult (which I had never heard of). The story didn't win all of my attention. I did get a bit bogged down with the sheer amount of 'everything'. It felt like there was just too much dialogue.

2.75 stars

Hollywood Park is a gripping and unforgettable memoir of Mikel Jollett's colorful life. He takes us into the early beginnings of his childhood where he grew up in a cult, escaped, and experienced many hardships throughout his life, wrapped around instability, rejection, abuse, poverty, and addiction.

This particular one stuck out to me because it truly focuses on family and finding love, internally and externally. I did a lot of self-reflection while reading this one and it made me realize how grateful I am for the little things I have, especially a safe and stable household.

I applaud Jollett's ability to overcome his past and speak about his personal struggles, particularly his fear of attachment and addictions. His bravery emanated through these pages, and it is certainly a memoir that I will never forget.

I have a friend who loves this band, so I was interested in reading this memoir. I've never heard of the cult before, so I was surprised to hear it mentioned as being infamous. The book was okay, I guess, but I found myself jumping around at times. The writing was fine, just things were too slow to keep me engaged. I guess I was expecting more shock factor, due to the cult, than there was.

"Our parents were like ghosts in Synanon, haunting us then disappearing again, leaving us to wonder what their connection to us was supposed to mean. What is a mom and what is a dad and what is a family and if it’s so special then why did you leave me?"

Raw. Unique. Poignant. Heartbreaking.

Mikel Jollett, of The Airborne Toxic Event, has written stunning memoir that is a testament to survival. The son of an alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother, Mikel was separated from his parents as an infant and left alone in the infamous cult Synanon's "school". He would later come to terms with the fact that he suffered from attachment disorder as a result.

Both parents were members of the violent cult which originally started as a way for addicts to beat their addictions. Once his mother left the cult with Mikel and his brother Tony, they were subjected to a life of abject poverty and often, violence. Mikel writes about his childhood in lyrical, flowing prose that is at odds with the harsh realities of his young life.

"I’m defenseless against the intensity, invisible next to something so thoroughly thought out, small next to this mountain of reasons. Because the reasons are endless and I know every one by heart: that we are a close “family” now that we left Synanon together and I am her special smart boy who will take care of her and make sure she’s not lonely and it’s my job to grow up to be special enough to explain to the world all the sacrifices she made for me, to dance with the quiet ones whether I want to or not, to be the cowboy who never leaves, to be her revenge on the cowboys who did."

Mikel and his brother grow up with a parade of men in and out of their home with their mother. Unable to provide a stable home for them, both boys eventually go to live with their larger-than-life father and his wife Bonnie. Their father and stepmother provide the only semblance of stability in their young lives. That Mikel could grow up to attend Stanford and eventually find acclaim as the member of a successful band is truly a testament to the human spirit. His brother and many family members battled addictions and Mikel spares no detail about the ugliness and hopelessness that addictions bring. His pain is raw and heartbreaking and absolutely gripping. Mikel struggles as a very young child to please his mother and to keep his very un-traditional family together, burdens no child should have to carry.

“Who made you such an old soul?” she says. I shift my weight. She likes to say this but all I ever do is repeat the things I hear the adults say.

Mikel is bullied for being poor, for being an outsider and just being different. He finally finds his stride in high school where he feels challenged and intellectually stimulated for the first time in his life. To read this transformation is fascinating. Mikel Jollett is a truly unique individual and I'm so glad he decided to share his life story with the world. His memoir is not to be missed.

"To know this thing exists, to go somewhere else and hear these words, to conjure them, is a relief, like I can breathe and it quiets that other voice."

This book might have just taken over my long running first place spot for memoirs.

Generation X is often feels like the forgotten generation. So as a gen X'er myself, I loved hearing from fellow X'er who grew up on the extreme end of upheaval, lack of supervision, and general weirdness of the 80's. Mikel is a talented writer and the narrative shifting from a child's perspective to a teen and eventually an adult over time was brilliant.

I don't like saying that I have a fascination with cults because they hurt so many people but Mikel was able to convey his experience in a manner that was extremely interesting and compelling. But do be warned, this book could be upsetting to some sensitive to child neglect and abuse.

The coming of age transformation that Mikel underwent was nothing short of miraculous. Despite PTSD type issues, he was a gifted student who excelled in academics and music. I finished this book in awe of what a human being can accomplish, even against significant odds.

My one regret is not listening to the audiobook. I loved reading the book but plan on listening to the book at some time in the future.

Thanks to Celadon Books and NetGalley for the gifted copy of this ebook in exchange for my honest review and promotion. I will be posting my full review on my blog and will update the links here then.

Hollywood Park is an awesome memoir. Jollett's life starts in a cult that believes children should be raised not in the typical nuclear family set up, but rather by the anonymous community. This lack of maternal connection follows him and his brother throughout their lives, impacting each in his own disastrous way. Reminiscent of This Boy's Life, the story is raw, vulnerable, and riveting. I appreciated his psychological insights into his relationships, especially the mother/son dynamic. This memoir hits all the buttons.