CW: mentions of disordered eating

For being written by two white, straight, cisgender folks, this book was surprisingly inclusive especially of gender identity and sexual orientation. I was also surprised when, early on in the book and then later on as well, they discussed the impact that white supremacy has on society. The book heavily focuses on Buddhist practices and mindfulness, which I found interesting, although I am not a huge fan of mindfulness itself. I do, however, think the mindfulness activities they suggest would be beneficial for many people. I also liked when they discussed how to work through trauma triggers when they arise in certain situations.

I'm usually a big fan of self-help/personal development type books. This one didn't do it for me and I didn't connect with the writing style. Might work for some, but this one wasn't for me.

How Not to Be a Hot Mess is a quick, light-hearted read about mindfulness practice and Buddhist principles. Overall, the book feels like a casual conversation with a friend. I love the title.

An alternative title could have been "First World Buddhist Problems." Neither religious primer nor proper self help book, How Not to Be A Host Mess is really more of a description of how the authors have chosen to live their lives and establish a personal philosophy. I found most of the situations and scenarios difficult to connect with, which radically reduced the value of their advice given it was primarily based on their own experiences rather than any sort of objective evidence.

Honestly, I was on board with their advice until they started getting to relationships. Then, everything started feeling preachy. This is just one of those self help books where the authors’ personal values heavily impact their advice and I just didn’t vibe with it.