This book serves as a thorough introduction to traditional Chinese schools of thought about raising children and supporting them in their learning. For me, as an educator and parent of two, this couldn’t have come at a better time; the responsibility of teaching my own children has transferred into the domestic sphere and I’m no longer working within the formal parameters of “school” in its usual sense.

The author offers an introduction to, and explanation of, both Daoist and Confucian schools of thought and explores lots of points about children’s development from both perspectives. She covers the thinking about life purpose, meaningful goals, what it means for us to flourish, virtues within ourselves and how we communicate these to our children and many other thought provoking aspects of our daily interaction with our children.

I particular enjoyed the time she spent examining “wuwei” and how we would benefit from embracing more of the “little things” in life to help us feel happier. I’ve tried to embrace this in my approach to teaching my children at home; if they want to stop an activity to smell flowers, watch a plane fly overhead or watch a squirrel scurrying up a tree, I’ll enjoy the moment of that with them too, rather than hurrying them back to the task in hand.

All in all, a thought provoking and at times a complex read; this isn’t a book that you’ll fly through, but I got a lot from it and I enjoyed how I’ve applied the concept of “gardener not carpenter” to my own family life

This book applies ancient Chinese philosophy to modern parenting, focusing on how performing "rituals" (anything from please/thank you, to handshakes, to birthday parties) and appreciating nature can help build kindness, generosity, and compassion in children, among other things. There were a lot of good tips on things that I kind of know already but need reminders of (put down the my phone and focus fully on him, milestones don't predict success and there is no reason to focus on them, even things that seem like they are a huge pain right now will not last forever), and there were also discussions on a lot of things that we already do but that I never considered the reasoning or benefits (writing thank you cards can foster gratitude, giving gifts encourages generosity). One thing I think I will take more to heart is to praise persistence rather than ease of doing something. We should be more proud of the failures to takes to learn something new than getting it on the first try because that builds resilience. I felt this a lot as I was reading because it reminded me of how easy everything was for me in school and how, looking back now, it really just made me lazy academically. It's a good thing when it's NOT easy, when a child has to work for something, because it teaches them the importance of that work, of persisting and trying until you learn something. I feel like I have a new way of looking at certain aspects of parenting, and while this doesn't inspire may to make huge changes in my actions, I hope it changes the way I see things a bit. Four stars.