Even though the circumstances were sad, I was intrigued by the overarching premise behind With or Without You – this idea that you could wake up with a whole new artistic talent and what does that mean to you as an individual to suddenly have this brand new path laid out in front of you. Stella and Simon have been together for twenty years and their wants have clearly diverged. Simon has been pursuing the idea of becoming a famous musician for as long as they've been together and when his band gets an unexpected opportunity to go on the road, he's ready to go. But when Stella falls into a coma as he's about to leave, he has to choose between that dream and her. Then she wakes up an entirely different person with an artistic skill she never had before and both parties need to re-evaluate what they want in life and from each other. However, the least interesting thing about the book were the characters themselves and their relationship. I just didn’t care for Stella, Simon, or anyone else introduced on a personal level. I get that we’re supposed to see the shades of grey in each individual’s circumstance but while I do understand they’re all flawed, I still didn’t like any of them. It’s partially because the author didn’t dive deep enough to give us certain insights or it was done too little, too late. Given that the main relationship spanned twenty years, I expected a lot more angst, heartbreak, and love, quite frankly. The only reason why I kept reading was because I wanted to know what Stella's journey would be concerning her new talent. It made me wonder how much of our creativity is innate (I think it is) versus what you can be taught. But even that journey with her had a pretty lackluster ending.

Do I recommend? No, it's nothing I would personally recommend since it didn't work for me.

I was intrigued by the description of Caroline Leavitt’s With or Without You. I envisioned it as a dramatic version of While You Were Sleeping. In the romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, and Peter Gallagher, the female lead is secretly attracted to a man who gets into an accident and slips into a coma. She goes in the ambulance with him to the hospital and says she is his fiancee so she can stay with him and ends up falling in love with his brother while he’s in the coma.

There are so many story lines that could have been developed in this book and, I think, more quickly, and that’s why I gave it only 3 stars. It’s ok. It could have been worse, but I feel like it could have been so much better.

Stella and Simon have fallen into a routine. Stella wants to settle down and have kids and a home, but her long-time boyfriend Simon still yearns for the thrill of performing. His band has a chance to revive themselves during a weekend gig in LA, and Stella doesn’t want to go. Their desires have diverged over the years, and they end up arguing. No real spoilers here because this is the start of the book; this is what sets off the story. Stella is battling a cold and takes some cold medicine. She’s drinking wine. Simon wants to throwback to when they first met, when they were more carefree and mellow and offers Stella a pill that he happens to have in his pocket. He tells her that it’s “just” an ADHD med even though he has no idea what it is, and Stella has had too much to drink to know the difference. When Stella doesn’t wake up the next morning, Simon gives up the opportunity with his band to stay at her hospital bedside while she’s in a coma.

***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***SPOILERS***

Simon finds himself in a position where he must reinvent himself. He loves Stella (and feels like he’s to blame for her condition), so he has to take care of things — pay the rent, pay the bills, take care of the apartment. He has to find a regular job. Libby, Stella’s best friend and a doctor at the hospital, resents Simon at first because of everything she’s heard about him from Stella. According to the description, Simon and Libby form a deep bond while Stella is in the coma, but we really don’t see that while Stella is actually in the coma, which takes up about 40% of the book. And Simon and Libby don’t actually start a relationship until well after Stella wakes up and is discharged from the hospital.

We also know that Stella awakens with a new talent (a documented scientific possibility with coma patients). She wakes up a very different person. She’s not invested in this “new Simon,” and she finds herself seeking out meaningless sexual encounters with random men. She spends her days drawing random circles and objects around the apartment. It’s not until 60% of the way through the book that she discovers her new talent of being able to see people’s deepest emotions in the pictures she draws of them. When she discovers the truth about Simon and Libby, she runs off, leaving notes for them telling them basically to F off, but it’s really hard to feel bad for her because she didn’t really love Simon anymore, and she cheated (a lot) long before Simon and Libby got together.

I really expected the bulk of the story to focus on the relationship development between Simon and Libby and Stella’s unexpected new talent. I was disappointed that those story lines weren’t developed sooner and more. We spend most of the story seeing Simon sitting at Stella’s bedside and start driving for Uber and becoming a more responsible adult.

I did like the way the story ended. Both Stella and Simon come to terms with life as it is and go their separate ways, and Stella settles into the life she truly wants. The beginning and the end were good, but just like life, a good book is about the journey. This one was honestly kind of boring for me. 😐

Simon is a former quasi-famous rock musician, now older and less popular, but still desperate to feel fame again. Stella is his long-time girlfriend. She was his OG roadie back in the day, following him on every tour, but now she works as a full-time nurse and longs for a more stable life. Simon is about to get his second big break (so he says) opening for an up-and-coming band out in California. He wants Stella to come with him, but Stella isn’t feeling it. They get into a big fight, drink too much, and eventually take some pills to calm down. The next morning, Simon wakes up, and Stella doesn’t.

For the next few months, Stella is in a coma, and Simon is forced to step up for once to care for Stella and do all the little (but vital) household tasks he used to ignore. He’s desperate for Stella to come back to him, but when she finally emerges from her coma, she’s changed in ways neither one of them expected. They both need to decide who they are now and if they still belong together.

MY THOUGHTS
What an interesting and unique premise for a book, right? I was really drawn in by the description of With or Without You, and I wanted to love it. Unfortunately, the book fell flat for me in a number of ways. My biggest grievance is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. Simon, ugh, don’t get me started. Stella, for half the book, wasn’t much of a character at all, though I have to say I kind of loved post-coma-Stella. She may have been confused and a little lost, but at least she finally felt authentic. There’s a third main character, Libby, who is Stella’s friend and coworker, and I did enjoy her backstory and story arc, but I needed more. I never felt like I got a good grasp on who she was.

In the end, this was a drawn out half-story. The potential was there, but I needed spark—either a character I could relate to, a faster-paced story, more deeply-developed characters, more connection in the end. Just…something. I wouldn’t recommend reading this book, but I probably would give author Caroline Leavitt another chance.

With or Without You is a contemporary fiction novel that dives into a long term relationship and what happens when everything changes. I found it totally compelling and while it had parts of the storyline that were not relatable to me personally, I could very much connect with the nuances of long term partnerships and continuing to find our own identities along the way.

I didn't find it to be a totally enjoyable read, but I also felt like it was supposed to be that way. It was thought-provoking and had so much to unpack about how we understand ourselves and one another. Highly recommend!

Thank you to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the gifted copy in exchange for an honest view.

I fell for this book. I really enjoyed reading it. It is very much a relationship book. A couple in their early 40's are having the fight, get married, have a kid or not, settle down? Simon is a musician and has an opportunity across the country, while Stella, Simon’s long-time girlfriend, wants him to give that up and get something more stable, and live a more normal life. The night before he leaves Stella ends up in a coma and Simon must decide if he will stay with her or go try following his musical heart.

Quickly we find the answer to that question. There is such a strong sense of all of the characters, not only Simon and Stella, but also her friend and doctor. I liked the viewpoint of Stella while she was in a coma, then in recovery too. I love the growth we see here as well.

I am really torn over this book. I was very interested in the first half and then it sort of just fell flat on the second half.

With or Without You is a novel about how fragile life is and how an instant can change everything. The story follows Simon, Stella, and Libby who are all deeply flawed humans but you still manage to root for. I loved how all three characters had their own traumas but also were able to grow from it. They each seek out help in their own ways, even when many mistakes were made. Each one lacked communication with their family but also their other relationships. I went into this book without really knowing what it was about and it ended up being so heart breaking yet very captivating. I would recommend this book and look forward to Caroline Leavitt's future novels!

Thank you so much to the publisher and to Netgalley for a copy of this book.

"With or Without You" is a beautifully written, honest and intimate portrayal of the changes and struggles within long term relationships.

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC of With or Without You.

This was a refreshing and unique read. I went into it knowing nothing about it (rare for me) so I had no idea what direction it would take. And we went down a windy road indeed, but it was one with an interesting views and a compelling tour guide.

Stella and Simon have been together for twenty years. Their earlier days were spent pouring energy and time into Simon's burgeoning music career. But now they are in their forties, Simon is less than relevant, and craves a taste of the earlier days, and he just might get it. With whispered hopes of going back on the road, Simon and Stella have to decide if they are up for it, and especially if Stella is willing to change the life that she has built for herself.

While my marriage looks nothing like this couple's, I could still appreciate and relate to their story because of their ages and for how long they've been married. I understood the longing for younger days, while enjoying the quiet contentedness of being in your forties, living your daily life, enjoying the fruits of your hard work.

This is a happy, sad, strange, unexpected story of a couple and what happens to them after their lives take an unexpected turn. I enjoyed it a lot.

Stella and Simon have been a couple for almost twenty years. An unlikely match, Stella is a somewhat quiet, kind nurse at a busy NYC hospital and he is a gorgeous hard core rock n’ roll musician. While in the past supporting Simon on his musical rollercoaster had always made Stella happy, she suddenly yearns for more stability, maybe even a baby. The night before a huge opportunity awaits him in Los Angeles the two disagree and a fork in their relationship can no longer be ignored. After a night of unexpected drug use Stella falls into a mysterious coma. Simon becomes the devoted boyfriend she had always dreamed of, Stella is someone completely new. They must unravel who they have become to each other and to themselves. There are parts of this story I really enjoyed, not to mention Caroline Leavitt’s writing is always a pleasure - but the truth is that Stella became annoying and I could not sympathize with her journey. In fact, all the many relationships were a bit off to me. I’m on the fence with this one friends.

With or Without You was a whirlwind of a novel. Caroline Leavitt's newest release takes you on a journey as longtime couple Simon and Stella navigate the choppy waters of their relationship. Simon, a musician from a well-known band, is dealing with fleeting-almost-made-it fame and has an opportunity to finally hit the big time in Los Angeles. Stella, a nurse, would rather stay in NYC than accompany Simon on the road again. In their early 40s, she is ready for marriage and family. An unexpected consequence after a night of partying, a throwback to their early days, lands Stella in the hospital in a coma and Simon at her bedside. Week after week he wills her to wake up but does not expect Stella to emerge as a different person. Meanwhile, her best friend Libby, a physician at the same hospital, finds herself in a precarious situation with Simon. Once detested, she realizes there is more than meets the eye to the vain musician. When Stella's new-found artistic talent takes off and reveals hidden secrets the trio is force to reconcile with some harsh realities.

A well-paced story, Leavitt closely examines the relationship between characters in their early 40s which is a nice change from many books that tend to focus on younger characters. I really enjoyed the detail provided of the background of their relationship and the importance placed on music and art throughout. The differences in Stella's personality before and after coma (not a spoiler as the book's synopsis includes this) were startling and while explored it fell a bit short and lost speed. The characters are flawed but not completely unlikeable which in turn makes them feel just human which readers will appreciate. The ending and decisions made were wrapped up really quickly and I feel that a tighter more developed ending would take this book to the next level but I greatly enjoyed it!

Thank you to Algonquin books for this ARC in exchange for my honest feedback.

This isn’t like any book I’ve read before. The three main characters develop and learn from each other but are also unique and discovering their own path. Stella and Simon have been together 20 years and yet things are rocky at the moment, Simon is an aging rock musician with a last chance opportunity and Stella is tired and doesn't want to do the whole tour thing again. She loves her job in nursing. Then Stella slips into a coma, and Simon's life is turned upside down. Will she recover, and who will she be if she awakens. This book takes a look at who we think we are, the fragility of our lives and how we manage change. So very good! Thank you again to Algonquin books for an early copy and to Caroline Leavitt for being such a beautiful writer.

Wow! What a story! Caroline Leavitt's novel, With Or Without You, is gripping, thought-provoking, and unforgettable. I absolutely LOVED it to bits!

Stella and Simon have been together for nearly twenty years and their relationship is a bit rocky to say the least. They are middle-aged and living like they are struggling college kids. Stella wants to make changes - she wants kids, she wants stability. Simon wants to go out on the road with his band and try to make it big. He wants Stella to accompany him, just liked she used to. She wants him not to go. So, she takes a pill and drinks a bit too much. The next thing you know, Stella is in a coma. Simon skips the tour to stay with Stella. When she wakes up, she's different. The Stella he knew is gone. And their relationship takes a very different turn as they start to figure out who they are together, a part, and what they each want for their future.

With Or Without You is such a fascinating and compelling story. Leavitt has written an unputdownable story filled with flawed, unlikeable characters that you won't help but relate to. She's created a story that explores topics like relationships, life and death in such a realistic and authentic way - you won't help but fall in deep with the story.

In WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, Caroline Leavitt shares what might be a simple story: a woman drops into a coma and wakes up months later a changed person, no longer willing to feign love for her partner, to work in the job that once gave her immense satisfaction, and to be who she was always supposed to be. Her partner, her doctor, her mother, her friends, all those who knew her then and know her now are baffled, amazed, and changed themselves. That's the plot, very simply put, BUT in Leavitt's confident, brilliant hands, the story sings. The characters are fully developed, multidimensional and nuanced, complicated and confused and doing their best no matter what comes their way. Leavitt continues to astound with exponential growth in passionate, finely wrought prose that zings, swoops, and soars straight into the reader's mind and heart like no other novelist does -- she is one of those rarest of writers, a thinking and feeling and growing human being who probes the essential questions and shares a story of what might happen next. I loved this book and recommend it without reservation.

With or Without You is about a woman, Stella, and her musician boyfriend, Simon, who live in NYC, and are preparing for Simon to head out on a big tour with his band. The night before he is set to leave, Stella becomes ill and falls into a coma.

This book is so layered and has so much heart. We follow Simon through Stella's coma and the aftermath of how different she is after. There is no black and white in this story- the characters are flawed, and human and beautiful. My heart broke for them in this complicated situation, where there is no "right" answer or guide book on how to proceed.

Interesting fact: the author, Caroline Leavitt, was in a coma herself after giving birth to her son. This book feels like the author's private therapy or way of working through her experience, as it's such an intimate tale.

I like this story well enough. It didn't wow me but it was a disappointment either. I felt like with a bit more Stella and Simon and less of Libby. I really disliked her character, which dampened the reading experience for me.

Overall this book is well-written with great character development. The ending was perfection.

Stella took just one pill, the wrong pill, and she fell into a coma. She'd only meant to dull the pain and fall asleep, because she didn't want to think about her struggling relationship with Simon. Stella has been with Simon for twenty years, loving and supporting him as he pursued his dream of becoming a rock star. It seemed like he was finally getting his big break, and yet after twenty years, Stella wanted something more from Simon. To settle down, get married, maybe even have a baby all seemed reasonable to Stella. Perhaps that's gone out the window now that she's comatose. Eventually, Stella does wake up, and the things she used to want have changed. Her abilities have changed. Everything is different now, for better or worse, and now Stella and Simon need to discover the potential of life forcing this change upon them.

I loved this book. I had never read anything by this author before, but I am so glad I did. The author, Caroline Leavitt, is a coma survivor herself, and she wrote this story and created Stella as a way to work through her own feelings about her coma. The characters are compellingly written, and the characters in this book are flawed, in the way you'd expect when people suffer through a traumatic, life-changing event such as this. All of them have dealt with childhood trauma as well, which has shaped the people they became as adults. The unhealed wounds from the past and the fresh pain of the present made me contemplate how our pain informs our actions and choices.

Do we do the things we do sometimes because we haven't been brave, or because we have a need to feel safe when that wasn't provided for us when we were smaller? What lengths will we go to for love, and how do we cope when the rug is pulled out from under us? Stella wakes up after her coma, but then we start to see that Stella and Simon no longer fit together. So what will they do? What would you do if the person you loved most became someone you didn't recognize overnight? Would you still love them? Could you convince them to love you again?

This story is about healing trauma, those internal scars we carry inside, the ugly wounds we don't realize are there but desperately need to be treated. Often, they won't be healed until we are pushed beyond our comfort zone, and it is necessary to address that trauma and find peace with it. Sometimes we obsess about or hold on to things in our lives that we don't truly want, and we do so because of the trauma we carry with us. I felt it was beautiful that after waking, Stella discovers a new talent that helps her to connect with others, to her own dreams and ambitions, and creates a path for her new life that is uniquely hers. Simon sees his own growth throughout the story, and side character Libby, who's a long-time friend of Stella, must come to terms with choices she's made in the wake of Stella's coma. I found Stella's journey to be quite moving, and With or Without You is an experience in catharsis that can't be missed. Caroline Leavitt gave a giant piece of herself to Stella, and I am grateful that she chose to share that piece of herself with all of us.
⁣
⭐⭐⭐⭐.5 rounded to 5 stars!

Thank you Netgaley, Algonquin Books and Caroline Leavitt for free e-ARC in return of my honest review.

Simon and Stella are dating forever, and Stella is ready for more. She believes they are able to create a beautiful family together but Simon isn’t thrilled as his career of traveling bass guitarist would be in danger. He doesn’t want to settle down, he is good as it is. It starts with the argument, and Stella ends up in a coma. No violence. Only negligence, poor judgment and probable flu (on Stella’s part) are the reasons for the disaster. Coma not only changed their lives but also changed them as persons. It always wonders me how many stupid unthought-of decisions we, humans, do at the same time acknowledging the stupidity of it while doing it. Stella is a perfect example. A nurse is down with a cold, taking unknown doses of over-the-counter medicine polishing off it all with glasses of wine and taking an unknown pill that is believed to be a drug. During the whole process of mixing alcohol and unknown drugs along with over-counter anti-flu medicines, she is thinking that her choices are all wrong but she still made.

The narrative is interchangeable though chapters are not assigned to each character. The flow is masterfully done, as there is no story disruption with every character’s turn. It all is woven in one beautiful ball of yarn which reader is slowly unraveling to see what’s inside. Characters are lovely written. We learn about them from childhood to adulthood through stories and through their eyes. They reflect on their past to see the new future.

With or Without You is not only about consequences that come from our stupid decision-making, there is also a love story. While Stella was in a coma, Libby, her best friend/colleague in hospital, was taking care of her as a patient and friend along with Simon. Long story short – they fell in love. The drama, the understanding, the passion and desire are things that describe their relationship. Poor Stella though, wake up and lose her long dating boyfriend to her best friend who didn’t even approve of him at the first place! All three made me literally angry, and then I think they were well formed and quite livable.

At the end of the day, those stupid decisions lead them all to a new life and new understanding of themselves. Stella woke up talented artist when she never draws in her life before. Simon realizes the futility of his dream to prove his father wrong. I feel like Simon also understood that he should live his life for himself only. Libby made herself torn between her best friend and the man she fell in love with o top of her existing personal drama. Libby too overcome major traumas that used to define her life.

The ending was a little predictable for my taste. However, the journey was lovely and enjoyable. I do think that readers enjoying romance and women fiction would appreciate With or Without You.

Caroline Leavitt's writing is so beautiful that I've always purchased her novels and With or Without you is no exception. It's about a woman in Manhattan with a long term partner and what happens when she slips into a coma and her recovery.

Sounds simple, right? And it is--the plot is straightforward and everything you think will happen does but what sets Caroline Leavitt's novels apart, what makes them extraordinary, is the dialogue. It's so rare to read an author who not only captures the rhythm and flow of people talking to each other, and even rarer still to read a novel where you come away thinking about what was said and what was hidden in and around and under the words. Leavitt does all of that, and she does it with such skill and better yet, such compassion. All of her characters are so well done, so human, and With or Without You truly illustrates what a gift real (and rare) unconditional love is. Definitely a must read for fans of literary or women's fiction, or for anyone who enjoys a graceful and elegant story about the human heart.

I discovered Caroline Leavitt several years ago when I read Is This Tomorrow. I haven't picked up any of her books in the intervening years, but I always remember that it was a profound read. When I saw With or Without You at NetGalley, I decided it was time to add more Leavitt to my reading. I was not disappointed.

With or Without You is a deep-dive into the human psyche and how our desires shape our relationships.

The story revolves mainly around Stella, Simon, and Stella's friend Libby. Stella and Simon's 20-year relationship is in trouble. What once held them together is starting to crack and crumble. Simon is still chasing the rockstar dream he's had since he was a child. Stella is ready to be a "grown up"; she wants to buy their apartment and maybe have a child. The tipping point comes as Simon is on the cusp of something big and Stella doesn't want to travel with him like she did when they were younger. In hopes of reconnecting, and stop the argument they seemed to be always having, Stella agrees to take the little pill Simon offers her. And life for both of them is changed forever.

While there is some tension around whether Stella will awake from her coma, the story is really character-driven as we see the changes that occur in Simon, Stella, and Libby - changes in their feelings, desires, and who they thought they were.

On the surface, there was a number of things I didn't like and if I was looking for a surface read I probably wouldn't have continued reading it after the first few chapters.

In a lot of ways, these three characters are the same. They came from rocky childhoods where they didn't feel like they were loved by their parents and thus always chasing acceptance and approval. I would have preferred that they didn't all have parent-issues and I think it is the reason I didn't really connect with the characters. I felt sorry for the characters but I kind of wanted to shout at them "get over it". Thankfully, by the end, all three of them were able to come to terms with their pasts.

Another plot point was predictable. I knew it was going to happen and I was disappointed in the characters' choices that led to it.

I can't really say I enjoyed this story. I don't think "being an enjoyable read" is the actual goal of this story. I think it is meant to make you think and it accomplished that. I wasn't looking for a surface read that was only meant to entertain. I wanted something deeper, and having experienced similar feelings with Is This Tomorrow, I knew that if I stuck with it that I would get what I was looking for.

Having three characters with similar backgrounds provided opportunities to see how our choices affect our lives. Even the predictable plot point gave food for thought and I wondered about life-long commitment and love.

I think With or Without You would make for an excellent book club discussion. There is a lot to unpack in this novel from Stella's coma-induced personality changes to why are you willing to make changes in your life to please one person but don't for another to child perceptions of events and relationships to is it right to keep secrets if you think it is in the best interest of another person.

My review will be published on Friday, August 14 at Girl Who Reads - https://www.girl-who-reads.com/2020/08/with-or-without-you-by-caroline-leavitt.html