An inspirational and useful book that must be read slowly as it's full of food for thought.
I loved the style of writing, how the book is organised and the clarity of thought and explanations.
REcommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.

Psychotherapist Julia Samuel provides a valuable and insightful guide to surviving modern life and the perspectives on the self. She writes in a sensitive and engaging manner about the inevitable nature of change. Very little in life remains immune from change, reflecting on five critical areas, often overlapping, to provide a helpful guide on how we might best manage life's challenges. She concludes by identifying eight pillars of strength for times of change, relationship with oneself, relationships with others, ways to manage emotions, time, treating mind and body as one, understanding the need for limits and how they may change through life, the stabilising nature of structure, and focusing.

Samuel's 5 critical areas reflect on the complexities of family relationships, love in all its forms, work, health and identity. With each area, she provides interesting details of her clients and their lives, summing up the area generally by reflecting on what might help us improve all our lives specifically in that area. Within family relationships she looks at a mother-daughter relationship, the adjustments a new father has to make when a much longed for baby arrives, and the problems with being a working mother. In the myriad of factors that are associated with love, she examines marriage and affairs, dealing with love and loss, finding new love and starting over, divorce, and looks at love through the lens of passion, intimacy and commitment. Work is seen through the acquisition of a first job, maternity leave, losing your job and facing life after retirement.

Health is seen through the impact of serious illness within a family, the menopause, the issues facing a single dad with cancer, the repercussions of ageing, employment and the loneliness of old age. Identity is particularly fascinating as it often tends to evolve, is not fixed, and it is not always easy to answer the question of who am I? There is a young Syrian woman who has moved from Raqqa to Berlin, having to cope with trauma and integration, others looking at coming out, moving beyond the binary, and the effects of race, culture and gender, in a society often uneasy at handling difference.

Samuel is a skilled psychotherapist, and provides plentiful evidence of her expertise with the work she does with her clients, she is able to hone in on the important issues, whilst acknowledging the real life difficulties that people face when it comes to change, it is often deeply uncomfortable to face and can be even harder to implement change. This is not going to be a book you are going to read cover to cover in a single sitting, you would be better served perhaps delving into a section that is particularly pertinent when necessary, or just reading through a section, reflecting and then taking a break before returning for the next bit. A great informative guide that I think most of us would find very useful in the practical help it may offer on crucial aspects of our lives. Many thanks to Penguin UK for an ARC.

After reading this I really felt it was a kind of bible to survive life. Lots of life examples to help you deal with your own trials and troubles. I hope I don’t offend anyone comparing this to a bible - but it was all I can think of- like matthew Mark Luke and John - the stories deal with different issues we may face on our life’s journey. Very interesting read.

Turning her attention from grief to families, Julia Samuel looks at how we manage complicated interfamilial relationships through the ties that bind and the misunderstandings that blow them apart. A trained and well regarded therapist, she uses case studies to tease out and explore some of the most painful and identifiable issues people face. Even when those seem strange, her wonderfully humane and sensitive approach, her non judgemental and thoughtful interpretation and her clear headed prose helped this reader understand suffering and more importantly, how to deal with it.
This is a book to keep nearby and to dip into as and when needed. It is marvellously reassuring to be reminded that pain shall pass and that the human spirit can rise above the most difficult situations.

Julia Samuel uses her experience as a psychotherapist to tell the stories of her patients. She does this eloquently and with feeling - we really feel we get to know Caz as he struggles to make the transition from student to independent working adult or Ayesha as she negotiates the menopause and addiction.
She themes their experiences into chapters including love, health, work and identity.
Each patient’s story is told in some detail and Samuel also reflects on her own feelings and part in the telling of their stories.
At the end of each chapter, Samuel pulls together the threads of the stories within it - for example, reflecting on the different challenges of health at different life stages through the different experiences of her patients.
I found it a fascinating read but it’s not a book I picked up and read from cover to cover. It’s dense and best savoured over some time, in my opinion.
I was particularly interested in how Samuel uses herself as a therapist to give her insights into her patient’s world. For example, why she feels impatient or overwhelmed and when to reflect that back.
Thoroughly recommended for those interested in the therapeutic relationship and the universal themes Samuel covers.