This book hits a lot of things that are at the core of healthy relationships. It spends the first portion delving into what your own needs/boundaries/likes/dislikes are, and the next portion getting into the dynamics of friendship. I thought it had a number of good suggestions, although the tone was a bit more casual than I was expecting, and there was quite a bit of language, which will be a turn-off for some readers (me included).

Not all parts of the book will be relatable for everyone, but every reader will probably find some points that resonate. I thought one of the most practical sections was on what to say and what not to say when a friend is going through a rough time or a big life change. It also makes good use of other source material, such as when it explains "ring theory," the idea that if you're not the central character in a trauma, then yes, you can still complain about how it makes you feel, but only to people less affected by said event. Or the shift vs. support responses. For instance, when a friend says they're exhausted, you could <b>shift</b> the conversation by saying, "Oh, I haven't been sleeping well either," or you can <b>support</b> by asking something like, "Why do you think that is?" The encouragement is to notice things. Notice yourself, notice your friend, and notice what subtle effect your words and actions are having within a situation. It's a point well made.

It also hit on some other behaviors that often feel natural but that actually need to be toned down, such as a barrage of fact-finding questions when you're at a loss for what else to say or do during a rough time, or the temptation to gloss over something when you are, in fact, rather insulted or hurt and need to say something.

This is an excellent book for young adults. I am going to have my son read it when he reaches his teen years. But it is also a great book for people of all ages. The book is divided into two sections. The first section is about showing up for yourself (an often neglected line of thought). The second is about showing up for other people (an increasingly neglected line of thought).

The author’s approach is simple and straight-forward, yet illuminating. I’ve covered much of the material in the book with clients and I appreciate the author’s simple, scaffolded approach. Four stars.

Pretty good self-help. My favorite parts were at the very beginning (workshopping a personal values statement) and the end (how to break up a friendship). Good nuggets here.