Did all my troubles go away after reading this? No. am I still an anxious mess when it comes to small talk/interactions? yes, but you should have seen me before. My main take away might differ from others but isn't that the beauty of self help books? to give you options to better navigate this crazy world we live in?

As someone with social anxiety disorder, this was a really helpful read! Small talk can be one of the most difficult parts of conversation but also so crucial for establishing meaningful relationships. This book offered a lot of ways to make small talk less overwhelming while still going outside your comfort zone. I feel like a lot of books made for people with social anxiety overwhelm the reader but this one did a good job at offering manageable ideas. Would definitely recommend to others who struggle with small talk (for whatever reason) and want to improve on it one step at a time.

This book is geared toward the socially anxious and anyone who finds casual conversation more burdensome than enjoyable. I have read books like these before and was surprised at how many practical tips it actually included. Usually, there are more encouraging platitudes ("No one is actually thinking about you as much as you think!" "Make good eye contact and smile!") than anything actually applicable.

Gallagher tackles specific situations, and breaks conversations down into stages, and even covers how to recover from blunders. His formulaic approach takes something that feels like incomprehensible magic a lot of the time and attempts to distill it down into a step-by-step science. He gives specific examples of kinds of things to say, and I appreciate that he acknowledges realities beyond the typical conversational advice. ("Everyone loves to talk about themselves, just ask questions!" No, actually, not everyone does!)

Unfortunately, it seems that there isn't a magic escape route for when you need to end a conversation smoothly. Equally unfortunately, no matter how many scripts and tips you absorb, the only real way to get comfortable mingling is through practice. This book does help to demystify, though, and provide a decent starting place for the completely overwhelmed.

3.5 stars

This book had potential but felt as though it was geared to people who had a fear of conversation more than someone wanting to develop the skill. It has some practical tips and exercises that I can take away, but it fell a little short.

Thank you Net Galley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

Hello 2020 and goodbye to crippling social anxiety!!

Are you like me?

Do you do a dance in the elevator when no one else gets on? Do you pretend that you're on the phone at the mall so the kiosk people don't ask you to smell their perfume? Do you stay in the toilet stall for way longer than necessary so you're the only one at the sinks? Are you 30 years old like me and still think "stranger danger, I need an adult" in the ordinary course of everyday social interactions?

Well, fellow haters of small-talk, I present to you a book that will make all your troubles go away.

Just kidding, it won't. But it's definitely a good start.

This was a cathartic read for me. It was short and sweet and easy to digest. As a reader who absolutely detests self-help books (the angry stubborn Sicilian side of me refuses to be told what to do by anybody, books included, ) the tone of the book was encouraging enough to not be bothersome. It was refreshing for the author, who is a professional in the field, not to oversaturate the book with scholarly verbiage and flowery prose. It was simply advice offered in plain language, and structured in a concise way to equip the reader with tips and tricks to help with a multitude of social scenarios.

And it's not to say that this book is a panacea for social anxiety - far from it, and the book even admonishes the notion that any book can do such a thing. But it offers an insight into the aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on preparing for small-talk by thinking of conversation topics beforehand, essentially equipping yourself with verbal ammunition, rather than forcing off the cuff small-talk over and over to simply acclimate to the uncomfortable feeling. It's the knowledge through preparation that makes you better, not simply exposing yourself to more conversation. Quality over quantity, knowledge is power.

I will say that for the first 30% of this book or so, it sounds like something an alien might write to its home planet after a surveillance of the human species. "Some places that small talk is acceptable includes, a family barbecue, a business lunch, get together with friends...."Small talk with friends is not as formal as small-talk in a business setting" - things like that. Like if you haven't been living on planet Earth it might be acceptable for you NOT to know this offhand. The advice is a little juvenile and obvious until the later chapters and I would not be surprised if this was targeted towards a younger demographic.

That aside, I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. I might not have all my anxieties cured, but at least I know there are enough of us small-talk haters out there for someone to write a book about it. And maybe next time I'll hold the elevator open for others instead of finger mashing the doors closed button like my life depended on it.

….Maybe.

Thank you to Netgalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.