Some key things I learned from this book…

The three key ingredients of a well-balanced life according to the author are:

1) agency — freedom, creativity, mastery
2) belonging — relationships, community that nurtures you
3) cause — calling, direction, purpose

There are three parts of our narrative identity: who we are as individuals, who we are as part of a group, and what ideal we serve. Most of us prioritize one part of our identity over the others.

The author also talks about lifequakes. These are defined as forceful bursts of change that lead to a period of upheaval, transition, and renewal. We may not have control over when these lifequakes occur (though sometimes we do), but we do have control over if and how we transition and experience renewal. Basically, we have to make our own meaning out of the Poop Salads of Life. The crazy thing is that most adults will go through at least, like, eight lifequakes—which means we experience big change about every five years.

There are three stages of transitions: the long goodbye, the messy middle, and the new beginning. The author gives seven tools for navigating them.

1) Accept it. Identify your emotions.
2) Mark it. Ritualize the change.
3) Shed it. Give up old mindsets.
4) Create it. Try new things.
5) Share it. Seek wisdom from others.
6) Launch it. Unveil your new self.
7) Tell it. Compose a fresh story.

The last point I found really insightful has to do with the “narrators” in our lives. We (and kids especially) rely on co-narrators. These are people who reflect at us the significance of our actions and help us find meaning in events that we are often too close to to see. There are five different types of narrators, and I’m sure you can think of at least one person in your life who fits into each category.

1) comforters — you can do it!
2) nudgers — maybe you should try it
3) slappers — get over yourself! (but I love you)
4) modelers — follow my lead
5 )naysayers — you’ll never succeed

All in all, this was a fascinating book that held my interest start to finish and taught me some important info along the way. Definitely worth a read.

"Life is in the Transitions" is a self-help book, based on research, which will be helpful for those going through a life change. A transition might be a new job, change in marital status, death of a loved one, coming out, physical illness or injury, etc. Or, ya know, going through a global pandemic!

The author, Bruce Feiler, introduces ideas on why change happens. It can be planned or unexpected...and it can happens to you or a group/family you belong to. No surprise there.

Feiler spent years traveling around, interviewing 225 people for this book. He painstakingly compiled tons of data to incorporate into the narrative. The result is 200+ real-life examples of major life transitions, and how people dealt with them. (Spoiler alert: people who go through hard times are usually changed for the better. Mindset has a lot to do with this).

It was a good book, just not a fabulous one. I listened to the audio version, and the author did a fine job narrating.

Special thanks to Penguin Audio for a copy of the audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

This was surprising good. I've read several hundred non-fiction and self-help books, and this is both well written and includes some decent research. The author used a different approach -- not interviewing experts, but non-famous people. He used a rather small data set, but it still has value. As usual, there's nothing new (there rarely is in these types of books), but it's presented very well and the individual stories make it quite compelling. Recommended.

Thanks very much for the review copy!!

The author wrote a great guide on how to navigate setbacks that occur in life. The author explains how to turn painful and frustrating moments into positive moments.