3.5 stars
Nathan Bartlett was orphaned at the age of one, and raised by his maternal grandmother with his sister Nina (a year older) and his eldest brother Neil who is six years older. Nathan has always looked up to Neil as more of a father-figure than a brother, and loves him dearly. Neil's favorite activity of all time is hiking, and there's plenty of it to do in their native New Hampshire. Nathan never hiked with his brother as the opening of the story is Nathan preparing to climb Chocorua peak alone, in memory of Neil. So, we start at the resolution, and then Nathan leads us backwards on his tale of woe.

Nathan has known he's gay for years, but he never acted on it, and never dated anyone in his small community high school. He has told Neil his secret, and prepares to find a way toward meeting a man while away at college. As a freshman, it's a big, bold new world, and Nathan comes out to his roommate to begin the year. El Speed is cool with it, and even attempts to negotiate a connection for Nathan with a gay student he knows. It doesn't pan out, but Nathan hits it off with a boy in his acting class, Alden, and develops an unrequited crush on Daniel, the manager in the cafeteria dishroom where Nathan takes a job.

The story is essentially all about Nathan finding his people, and making headway into adulthood. It comes across as genuine, if not inspired. Alder becomes very important, as a guide for Nathan into physical sex and emotional love, but the relationship struggles when Alder's personal demons come to call. Daniel serves as a mixture of the carnal male affection Nathan desires, inexplicably mixed with the paternal love Nathan's always craved and sought from Neil. Daniel is a couple of years older than Nathan--so he's got some experience and maturity--and he's an avid hiker. Nathan thinks learning to hike with Daniel will enable him to be even closer to Neil--demonstrating his "un-tutored" prowess in something at which Neil excels. Unfortunately, Daniel's a terrible guide and he's not interested in being anything more than a friend. Daniel's inexperience and arrogance nearly kills both himself and Nathan the first time they go hiking.

Over the course of the first year, Nathan learns how to stand up for himself, to come out to those whose support he needs, and to support those people who are being wronged/harmed by the callousness of others. He wishes he didn't have to learn these lessons in so difficult a manner--especially in losing Neil. Nathan deals with his natural anxieties far better than most, and he's rather well-adjusted considering his many tragedies in life. His friendship with El Speed, and his relationship with Nina both grow and help him keep a steady course. It's a pretty quiet book, and I think knowing about Neil upfront took a lot of tension away for me. I was patiently waiting for the time Nathan would get the notice, and I didn't feel as much connection to the situation as it unfolded because I then knew 'Oh, this is where he bites it.' And it was sad, no doubt, but the gut punch of grief didn't manifest for me, since I was inured by the knowledge it was coming. That said, there are more books coming in this series, and I'm eager to watch Nathan's world grow and (hopefully) get happier.

Author Robin Reardon shows us that she can create warm, loving relationships in her novel On Chocorua. But she can also show a cold, even cruel side when she is done with a character. (They don't fare well!) The coming out story appeals on many levels as we see a young man become more comfortable with his identity. Yet a climactic scene where two characters die in a ravaging fire despite being perfectly safe a few pages earlier did not sit well with me. The scene was just too contrived, in my opinion. Finally, the man character and his family are said to be Chinese, but the novel has no cultural Chinese application. They could just as easily have been some other ethnic identity.
Thanks, NetGalley, and the publisher for the ARC.

At the beginning of this book, it's clear that Nathan has been through a loss. He's on a hike that's important to him for a few reasons. His life has changed... maybe he's learned some things, maybe he's just getting to know himself. After the introduction to Nathan, his story unfolds through his own present perspective and some flashbacks to his past.

This is not a gay romance novel, don't go in expecting that. This is a novel about growing up, coming out and the losses we face when we are young.

There's a fair amount going on in this story. I think first and foremost, it's about life. It's about all the things that can happen in life... some of them great, some of them devastating. Now, Nathan has had more than his fair share of major events in his life. His parents were killed in an accident when he was very young and he was raised by his grandmother... and his older brother Neil.

Nathan idolizes his brother... possibly without even knowing he does. Neil is the measure to which Nathan unconsciously compares all the males in his life. I found that quite endearing, and sad in a way. Clearly, Nathan was longing for a father figure... and yes, Neil was a father figure, but he was also a young man trying to live his life.

There are a few supporting characters of note in this story. Alden enters Nathan's life once he is in College. They meet in an acting class and become friends. For Nathan, it's an exploration of being gay. He isn't sure how to make the first move, or if he should... and I really enjoyed the way Reardon wrote his character. Nathan's thoughts reminded me of my own youth... the intensity and confusion and joy that comes with meeting people for the first time. Reardon did a great job of capturing the feel of Nathan's youth. For his part, Alden is an interesting fellow. He's a bit difficult for Nathan to read at first, it becomes clear later why... and Alden remains a bit of a mystery throughout the novel. But, Nathan learns from him even if it may be because he's hurt by the relationship.

Daniel is another interesting supporting character. He meets Nathan where they both work int he College cafeteria. It's unclear whether he's interested in Nathan as a potential partner... or as a friend. However, Nathan seems to see Daniel as a "Neil replacement". Again, Nathan is searching for that father figure he didn't have while he was growing up.

There are interesting explorations of substance abuse and addiction in this novel. Some of it may be difficult for people to read but I felt it was very authentic. One of my best friends was an addict and some of the patterns and behaviors felt very familiar to me.

In short, this first novel in a series that looks as though it's going to be really great. Just one story in and I already feel as though I'm invested in Nathan and his life. Looking forward to reading the next book!