Sorry, this didn’t resonate with me. A number of times, I just wanted to put it down and quit, but stayed with it incase it redeemed itself. There have been other books I have read and been tempted near the beginning, to give up; but often I have ended up liking them. This one, no.

This book just didn’t do it for me. I wanted to love it so badly but I found it to be more cringey than bingey. It had all of the promise that makes me run to a book: toxic rivalries, obsessive relationship dynamics between female friends, betrayals, etc. but it just fell so flat for me. I found out this was a thriller after I rated the book on goodreads if that tells you anything.

I can usually get behind an unlikeable main character. Usually they are interesting and fun to get to know – but not Rose. Her behavior actually had me scowling at the pages while reading. Rose is writing a book and at one point her publisher asked her what the purpose of this book and it felt ironic because that’s how I felt about the book itself. This was one I had to push myself to finish and probably would have DNF’d if I were the type of person who was able to. Y’all really need to teach me your ways with that!

I think it’s important to note that I’ve seen so many good reviews for this one, including one from a favorite author, so I may be in the minority here.

'Everyone Knows How Much I Love You' by Kyle McCarthy follows a thirty year old writer named Rose as she navigates parallels between her past and present with the best friend she betrayed in high school.

After moving to New York, she ends up reconnecting with that former friend, Lacie at the suggestion of someone they both know. When she's as drawn to Lacie during their meeting as she'd been in school, Rose manages to convince Lacie to let her move in.

Though the pair have an unpleasant history, they grow close again and at least on Lacie's end.. things seem to be almost like they were before. Almost. Though it's questionable as to whether or not that's ideal.

Soon after moving into Lacie's home, Rose takes a job tutoring wealthy kids on their SAT scores. Her spare time is spent working on her novel, a story about the details of the betrayal all those years ago. Enamored with the friend they share, Lacie's boyfriend.. the past and present begin to merge.

Rose is an intelligent, introspective character. She's artistic, but seems to struggle constantly with her self-image.. and that plays a huge role in her ability to understand those around her. It's ironic, that she envisions Lacie as being this woman who moves through life having such impact on the people she comes into contact with and never realizing it, when Rose herself carries that same sort of mysterious charisma. The behaviors differ, but the results are similar.

I really enjoyed the external conflicts between the characters in play, but even more.. I enjoyed the 'appearance' of inner conflict. I say 'appearance'.. because its actual existence is extremely questionable. There's definitely the comprehension of right and wrong, but often a lack of investment in those feelings and it's interesting to watch evolve.

All the characters we really spend any quality time with know how to wield their skills to manipulate others. Some do so almost benevolently, while others are just careless with them. Putting things in motion without thought of the outcome, only to be unhappy or upset when they do inevitably lead to some sort of collision in their personal lives.
There are also those who know exactly what they're doing. They enjoy the feeling of power it gives them and they like to think they don't mean for things to play out in certain ways, but they still have the urges to do it all over again.

As a behavioral study, their social circle is fascinating and despite some less realistic consequences, I hate to admit their actions are not so uncommon. I could see people I've known.. relationships I've witnessed.. in this novel. And it's hard not to say at the end of the day, that most things probably turned out as they should have, knowing everything that took place along the way.

If you enjoy thought provoking stories that delve into the complexities of relationships of all kinds, particularly where envy and longing plays a role in the machinations from all sides.. you should give this novel a read.

You’ve heard of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, right? It’s when, say, a stunningly beautiful woman looks in the mirror and sees only her flaws and imperfections, some of which she perceives as enormously disfiguring.

Rose, the narrator of Everyone Knows How Much I Love You, has a psychological version of this disorder. She tells us often what a freak she is, what a dork, what an outsider. She is mortified when a teenager calls her “earthy,” as if her teenage incarnation as a “hippie” has somehow bled through her sophisticated, adult, urban exterior.

Rose has had every advantage – prosperous, loving parents; the best (Harvard) education; and literary talent. But she is fixated on the ways that others are seemingly better than her, which leads inevitably to jealousy, which leads to a lot of creepy, stalkerish, manipulative and (self) destructive behavior.

Rose’s chief obsession is her childhood best friend, Lacie, along with the men Lacie dates. At 30, Rose has parlayed numerous drafts of her novel about Lacie into a series of residencies and fellowships. Now she is in New York, where she has ready access to her agent for the final draft – and where Lacie lives.

The novel Rose is writing and the one in which she appears are very, um, self-referential? I was intrigued by the criticisms of the novel Rose is writing, and the way they seemed to anticipate the comments readers might make about the real book, the one Kyle McCarthy has written. Rose’s agent often says that the Lacie character in the book-within-the-book is a cipher, a non-entity – which is kinda true in the actual book.

And at the end, when Rose’s novel is finally published, she writes that some critics “called it beautifully honest; others, troubling. Many decried the narrator’s morals, calling her self-delusional, a narcissist, emotionally blind.” Like I said, self-referential.

Everyone Knows How Much I Love You is so well-written. It seems glib and facile, with few deep insights – but it’s got a very high creepiness factor, due to Rose’s damaged psyche.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House/Ballantine for an advance readers copy.

Reading the description I felt like this book was one I would really enjoy, however I could not get into it. This book was a DNF for me. I rarely DNF a book, especially an ARC but was not feeling this one. Copy courtesy of NetGalley

DNF

This was an ARC from the publisher, so I feel bad, but this one just isn’t for me. I haven’t even made it to the second chapter yet, but I’m not clicking with this writing style.

Take a look at the paragraph below. This is actually only 2 sentences believe it or not. Looking ahead, I can see that this is how the whole book will read out, so I’m going to save myself some time and frustration.

“Reading this, I decided to doctor my SAT scores, carefully inserting into my cover letter, “While I don’t precisely recall my SATs from more than a decade ago, I believe I scored somewhere in the high 700s for both math and reading,” knowing full well that I did not break 700 on the math, knowing, too, that I could say whatever I wanted, that my lie would not only be believed, but that it would confirm the whole set of assumptions already operating around me, that I came so fully outfitted in the trappings of success—Harvard, Iowa—that embellishment to cover any gaps was practically obligatory. Then, interview scheduled, address received, I nearly blew it: 9:07 the morning after meeting Lacie found me racing from my cousin’s living room to bathroom, from bathroom to front hall to couch, not quite late, but becoming increasingly dependent, with each passing minute, on the good karma of the F train, and then 9:57 found me run-walking, and then flat-out sprinting, down Eighty-Fifth Street toward Third Avenue, having spent the previous train ride staring straight ahead, my gut churning, too full of self-recriminations to read or even think about what I might say to Griffin Chin, founder and director of Ivy Prep, Harvard-trained lawyer, and “educational consultant” who regularly Board itself sought their consultation.”

ARC provided by NetGalley

Toxic female friendship tale with a good mix of everything. This novel was well done, I was immersed in the characters and felt bad for the main "antagonist" with issues at times, even as she sabotaged things repeatedly. I still found myself rooting for her. There were some hard parts to get past, but I enjoyed it for the most part.
It wasn't a light read, but was quick moving.
Thankful for the ARC!

Rose is an accomplished, Harvard-educated woman with a secret obsession, her estranged best friend Lacie. Rose knows how to get back in Lacie's good graces, so after moving to New York City, she and Lacie reconnect, and not long afterward Rose moves in with Lacie. Old habits and behaviors begin to reestablish themselves as Rose injects herself into Lacie's life, and the novel she's writing is even about Lacie. The past begins to repeat itself as Rose and Lacie's boyfriend find themselves attracted to each other, and Rose delights in feeding her Lacie obsession as the lines between their lives become blurred. What happens if she goes too far, though? Can their friendship survive if Rose sends Lacie's life tumbling over the edge?⁣⁣
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Up front, I'm not big on poisonous female friendships, and so Everyone Knows How Much I Love You was destined not to be a favorite. I find Rose to be a tad delusional considering her personal successes, and I don't particularly understand why she wants to be so much like Lacie other than Lacie is more charismatic than Rose. As the story goes on, Rose continually and aggressively sabotage's Lacie's life, and crosses boundaries no real friend would cross. I found myself wondering why Lacie didn't boot her out on the street the moment old behavior started up again, yet perhaps it is human nature to turn a blind eye to damaging people who we've known for a long time ("That's just the way they are."). Regardless, I found Rose to be a rather appalling human being, and Lacie to be an unfortunate victim of her kindness and forgiveness. If you're interested in reading about an all-consuming, destructive style of friendship, I'm sure this will be your jam, but I don't find this obsessive ruination appealing.⁣⁣
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⭐⭐.75⁣⁣/5

Kyle McCarthy brings us a twisty tale of female friendship in this chilling debut novel. Everyone Knows How Much I Love You looks behind the curtain of the motivations of Rose, as she reunites with her childhood friend Lacie. Some things, however, may be best left in the past.

Toxic female friendship novels are always intriguing to me, and this book was no exception. With Single White Female vibes, a fantastic ending, and a bold, new voice, McCarthy's debut novel is one to check out.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts are my own.

Rose and Lacie were best friends when they were in high school, until the accident. Rose had been driving around a tricky curve in the dark, a new driver, and lost control of the car. Lacie’s boyfriend Leo was in the passenger seat of the car because they were out looking for Lacie. It was unfortunate that it was Leo’s side of the car that took the most damage. But it was Rose who had walked down the road, in the dark, to find help.

Still, Lacie wouldn’t talk to her after that.

Now, Rose is 30 and moving to Manhattan. After her years at Harvard and then Iowa, she’s decided to move to New York to finish her novel. To be a “real” writer. To be a part of the literary elite. She was crashing on a cousin’s sofa, trying to get a job tutoring rich kids and finishing the latest draft of her novel. She wasn’t expecting to hear from Lacie, but she does.

It turns out that Lacie is dating Ian, an artist who knows Rose from an artists’ retreat where she had been working on her novel and he had been working on his sculptures. They had been friends, and when Ian found out that Lacie knew Rose as a kid, he encouraged her to get back in touch. A quick lunch in the park, a chance encounter at a farmer’s market (well, it would have been chance if Rose hadn’t chosen that area knowing that Lacie lived close by), an impromptu dinner, and Rose finds herself living in the extra room at Lacie’s place.

Lacie is willing to let the past go and try this new friendship. But Rose can’t seem to help herself and slips past boundaries further into Lacie’s life. She looks around Lacie’s bedroom, borrows her clothes, reads her journals. She tries to make friends with Lacie’s friends, tries to figure out what makes Lacie so Lacie. But the more Rose blurs those lines, the more she ends up revealing her true self.

Everyone Knows How Much I Love You is a study of female friendship, of the envy that can rear its ugly head, and how it can destroy a person from the inside out. Author Kyle McCarthy’s debut novel is a deep dive into the darkness that can fester at the heart of a relationship, taking down everyone else in its wake.

I’ll be honest about this book. I was reluctant to read it. I wasn’t looking for literary fiction, for capital A Art. But I picked it up and started reading it anyway. It didn’t take long at all before I was hooked. These characters drew me in to their story, and I couldn’t look away. It was partly the beautiful prose and partly the fascination with these women that kept me hooked into this story deeply until the very end. I loved it. I was moved by it. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a powerful novel of what happens between women in friendship.

Everyone Knows How Much I Love You brought to mind Tara Isabella Burton’s Social Creature, which I also loved. Both of these books get compared to Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley, and deservedly so. If you are someone who seeks stories about the ways humans try to destroy each other in the name of love or friendship, who is fascinated by the inner workings of the truly envious, who loves to read brilliant fiction about narcissists or sociopaths, then you’ll want to pick up a copy of Everyone Knows How Much I Love You. And you will not be disappointed!

Galleys for Everyone Knows How Much I Love You were provided by Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine through NetGalley, with many thanks.

I was surprised how addictive this story became after an intriguing beginning, very entertaining, Thank you publisher and netgalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

Twisted page Turner! Rose moves to NYC, which her former best friend from highschool Lacie happens to live also. Their friendship had fallen apart when there was an accident years ago. They do not have a very good past together. Rose starts to get into into everything she possibly can as far as Lacie goes. Rose needs to live off somebody so she ends up being roommates with Lacie she even starts wearing the same clothes. She also has this sexual attraction to Lacie's boyfriend. Rose is secretly writing a book that includes Lacie, which is her twisted goal. Rose is not a confident person but she manipulates anyone she needs. Lacie and Rose have a very weird relationship and it's almost as if they love each other especially when there's a lot of jealousy there. But you feel hate as well. Not a bad read.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Ballantine Books, and Kyle McCarthy for the opportunity to read and review her debut novel. 3.5 stars rounded up for a literary look into toxic, obsessive friendships.

Rose and Lacie were friends since elementary school when they were both a bit of outcasts. But Rose was the smart, shy one and Lacie the more popular, social friend. And so the jealousy began. An incident in high school caused the friends to become estranged until a meeting in NYC more than a decade later restarts their friendship. But Rose not only wants to be Lacie's be all friend but she wants to BE Lacie. Rose is writing a book about their friendship and she needs to get inside Lacie's head more to finish it.

This was an intriguing look into this topic of toxic friendships. I also enjoyed Rose's job as an elite tutor for SAT/college essay prep. Reminiscent of the recent college entrance scandal, it's amazing to me how wealthy people try to manipulate every part of their child's life. Rose is not a likable character which made some of this book difficult to read although it was well written. It was a promising debut and I look forward to reading more from this author.

Interesting story about toxic female friendships self doubt, obsession- the characters were not that interesting unfortunately. I was not drawn in to this book.

So. I don't know how I feel about this one? The whole book just felt really... bland? The premise is intriguing though I think I went into this believing it's a thriller and it's really not. It's more about relationships and how choices can affect and break down those relationships.

Unfortunately, the two main characters never really seem to be fleshed out? I didn't find either Rose or Lacie all that interesting? I wish we had spent more time with them in high school to really get a sense of their earlier relationship. And even while Rose is living with Lacie, it feels like they're together very little? Most of what we know of Lacie is seen through Rose's eyes and her, well, rose colored glasses perception of Lacie. I think this book would've also benefited greatly from dual perspectives. It would've been nice to swap between Rose and Lacie's povs and see how they perceived each other.

In this book, Rose is also writing a book. And at one point, her editor asks what the purpose is (and also to flesh out Lacie more which is ironic since she also didn't feel fleshed out in the real book) and that's honestly how I felt about this book??? It never really seemed to have a purpose? This could've been a deep dive into Rose's psyche and motivations for how she relates to Lacie and why she's always been obsessed with her. But we never really discover her motivations. It's just... she's obsessed with Lacie.

So. While this started out promising, I ended up having to force myself to keep going. I was never really sucked in or really connected with any of the characters. The whole thing just felt very meh and I'm honestly glad to be done and on to something else.

I don't know. I think this book was a good idea, I just wasn't a fan of the execution. Many things felt irrelevant and I think this could've used some editing. I also really hated the ending. It felt like it had just been tacked on because the author didn't really know how to end the story. And even though Leo was the entire reason why Lacie and Rose's friendship initially broke down, he never really seemed relevant? The entire beginning leads you to believe that he died but he didn't...? And that makes the whole ~breakdown of their friendship over it seem really weird? Yes, Rose slept with him. But then he got back together with Lacie? And they what? Broke up??? I think it would've been more powerful if he had died? Because if Rose slept with Lacie's boyfriend and then also killed him... yeah. That would break down a friendship. That should've been the death. Ian's death felt really weird and irrelevant. So I don't know. The motivations in this book in this book just seemed really... off? And I feel like the characters weren't fleshed out well enough to justify them or even make them make sense.

This book does have some really pretty writing though and I ended up highlighting quite a few passages. But overall, this just felt very underwhelming and it never really motivated me to keep reading. I kept going because I felt I had to. So. Maybe I'm just the wrong audience? Unclear. Personally, I'm just glad I can mark this one as done and move on to something else.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for allowing me an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

If you love psychological thrillers, you will love this one. We get into the mind of Rose and her toxic friendship with Lacey. Unlike many psychological thrillers where the main character is the one being stalked or gaslighted, Rose is the one with an obsession. I was pulled in right away and I needed to fill in the missing pieces of their story. It lost one star for me because I thought it was set up for a bigger ending and it just kind of fell flat at the very end for me.

So addicting. You keep reading even though you know what's coming is a collision of epic proportions and yet every time I would stop reading to do something else I was drawn back into this dark story full of angst. Pick up this book but be warned you won't want to put it down. Happy reading!

I loved the description of Rose's play in middle school. It was poetic and magical. I really enjoyed the evolution of Isabel's college paper. In fact, I now want to read [book:The Souls of Black Folks|931414]. Sadly, these were bright gems in an otherwise dull story of two women's odd friendship. For awhile I thought there would be a build up of suspense as Rose invaded more and more of Lacie's life, but it quickly became stagnant. Between the stalemate they maintained and the crass and jarring descriptions of sex, I was not thrilled with this book. Maybe sex was detailed in that way to contrast with the rest of the book, but instead of making a point it just felt awkward. I didn't really like it, but I didn't dislike it enough to only give it 2 stars. The book did have promise, it just didn't meet it for me.

Talk about self-destruction! Rose is probably one of the most annoying characters I’ve ever met. As soon as I’d start to sympathize or relate to her, she’s do something RIDICULOUS and piss me off again.
This book has a lot going on, though. Coming of age, sexuality, feminism, art, romance & friendships (both twisted & sweet). I liked all the flashes to Rose & Lacie’s youth in the 90’s, all the descriptions of New York neighborhoods, and all the references to art whether it be writing, theater, or weaving. I liked the bits of mystery always keeping me on my toes. I really liked Lacie- her traditions and go-with-the-flow attitude. McCarthy’s writing made me genuinely FEEL Lacie trying to navigate the landmines of her friendships- especially the toxicity with Rose.
This book is a great example of perception- how two people can experience the same youth and remember it so differently... feel so oppositely on the middle of it.
I’d recommend this to artists, fans of coming-of-age stories, and those interested in sexuality & feminism. A unique read.

Kyle Mccarthy delivers a debut novel that is simply stunning. Her writing is exemplary; poetic, descriptive, and thought-provoking. Also, the story is very well-plotted. But, at about 20% in I almost gave up on it. I'm glad I persevered as the ending is sublime.

But, why did I contemplate giving up on it? Frankly, it's a bit of an uncomfortable read. See, our lead character, Rose, is a genius. Maybe because of this, she's always felt like an outsider, and this shapes her approach to people and life. Being in her head is at times troubling, and at times simply fascinating. That's what makes it an addictive read.

Rose is obsessed with the past and the present, but mostly obsessed with her best friend from high school, Lacie, the one she drove away. There is definitely a "single, White, Female" vibe to it, minus the knives. Nearly a dozen years after high school, after the fall-out in their junior year, Rose manages to insinuate herself into Lacie's life. This is eerie because Rose is writing her debut novel, and Lacie is her main character. Rose recognizes the twist of fate, but her drive to succeed at the delivery of her novel overrules logic:

"Living with Lacie while writing about her had gone from deeply bizarre to completely normal in a remarkably short amount of time. After all, I wasn’t writing about the real Lacie, but the cipher in my mind. It seemed simple enough to hold them apart, though every so often I plucked a detail from her life. No harm in that. But now Portia wanted me to get into her head"

But getting in Lacie's head is harder then she thinks. She reflects that "Lacie had always worked by implication and discretion, high-stakes negotiations conveyed through metaphor." It's a block and Rose feels nothing of her way around that. At times she's very judgemental of others, but she fails to see her actions as anything but okay. And her feelings about Lacie are beyond complicated and evolving. There's a new element to it, or is it? New that is. Her feelings, her actions, are always just a measure or two emotionally removed, as though she's a voyeur of her own life.

Rose is such a contradiction - she's disconnected but with her IQ, highly contemplative. This is HER a study in character, in the human psyche, and how Rose shows love. The book is rightly categorized as "Friendship Fiction" and "Psychological Fiction" and also evoking the "The Talented Mr. Ripley" (a personal favorite). If any of those appeals to you, do not give up on this book.
5 Stars and recommendation!